January 26h

Dear Journal,

I worked yesterday – my first day – and really got the hang of it. My supervisor, Kelly, said that I would have it down in no time. The only thing I have to work on is the menu, memorizing it and stuff so when people ask questions I have the answers. And I don't have the shorthand down all the way; still have to write out the words. Kelly said it just takes practice.

The Wolfes didn't come yesterday.

But Jason and Sarah did. I don't know how they got out (well, Sarah said they just asked but I doubt that's the case). A lot of people seemed to think it was weird having them there, being Quileute and all. Most people don't know I have that kind of heritage from my hair but when you look like them, it's pretty obvious.

They didn't stay long, which is understandable. I worked from 4 till 11, which is quite a while, and it got late. I wasn't tired but it was creepy driving back to La Push. I felt like someone was watching me or something. Whatever, I got home safe. Not like I expected to be attack or anything.

So I worked this afternoon 10 to 3. That's when the Wolfes came, well, just Caden and I thought that was weird. I know that I don't believe all that vampy stuff but if there was one of them that would be 'in training' it would be him. Ah! I don't even know what to think about what happened! I'd actually rather not think about it but if I write it down maybe it will stop haunting me.

Anyways, he sat at one of the tables outside, and it was FREEZING, I mean, there was snow on the ground and everything. But he was just fine. I went out and asked him if he wanted anything. He kind of stared at me, almost like he was embarrassed then said no and pulled out a book. Kelly was worried. It's strange how even the people in Forks are kinda creeped-out by the Wolfes.

He stayed around for about an hour until my shift was over. I had grabbed a coffee to keep my hands warm and went out the front door to go to my car when he stopped me. "Could I talk to you for a minute?" he asked. I didn't want to say yes but I wasn't going to say no so I just sat down rather cautiously.

"I know Jacob and Ness are probably freak'n right now but...I didn't want them around. I just wanted to apologize," he said. But to be honest, I was still in the dark. Maybe I was too naive.

"Apologize? Shouldn't I be the one..."

"No, I shouldn't have...I try really hard to...control myself but for some reason it's not that easy. I'm new to this and all. Whitney is confident I'm going to snap soon," he said, not looking at me in the eyes.

"I don't understand. Control? What is going on?" I just asked, frustrated more than ever. Everyone talked as if I knew what was going on and so I never knew what was going on! And yes, it's just as confusing as that sentence.

"That's probably for better. Let's just leave it at my family is vegetarian and I'm used to having a lot of meat," he confessed. I was still confused, and I'm pretty sure he knew it but didn't want to say more. Hadn't I seen Jacob eating pork-chops the other day at the cafe?

"Caden..." I began to try to explain my frustration and confusion but he cut me off.

"Jenny, you don't have to understand. Just let it go." It was weird hearing him speak my name. It made me uncomfortable. I hesitated before standing.

"I should go," I simply said. He looked a little disappointed but understanding. He nodded and turned. I felt guilty letting it end like that. "Wait!" I said quickly, grabbing his hand to get his attention. His hand was colder than ice. "You're hand, it's..." he pulled his hand away.

"It's nothing, I'm used to it," he said defensively.

"Here, take my coffee, warm up your hands." I shoved my Styrofoam cup into his hands. He smiled like I was a little kid playing some stupid game. I smiled back, unsure of myself. "I hear that it's best not to go cold turkey when changing a diet. Maybe a little bit of indulgent would help the change," I offered. It was pathetic and uncomfortable but I said it anyways.

"Thanks for the advice," he replied with a broad, award-winning smile, but I knew he wasn't going to take my advice. He turned, holding the coffee cup in his hands to walk away. I saw him sniff the coffee up but not drink. I went to my car and drove home. I had even more questions now.

XoXo Jennifer Heartly