Author Note: Hello again lovelies and welcome to chapter two. This chapter is based off a drawing I did on dA (by the same title) and I just wrote the story for what was actually going on (my user name is on my profile page if you fancy going to have a look). So the summary: Dark is up for playing a mean prank in the guise of a favour to Link. Genre: Humour/Friendship. Enjoy!

Dark Link's Revenge

Link cautiously poked his head out from the little side door on the east wing of the castle and looked warily around the surrounding gardens. It was just less than an hour until sunset on a chill autumn afternoon and he had just spent a considerable amount of time an energy dodging the castle guards whilst lugging around a heavy burlap sack in order to complete his objective; a mission he felt he should be under no obligation to complete in the first place!

"Well it's about time" came the snide greeting of a lone figure clothed in black that was standing underneath a solitary tree on the embankment.

Link sneered and rolled his eyes a bit as he emerged from the doorway and threw the sack towards the figure.

"What is it with you and lurking behind trees?"

"I wouldn't have to lurk behind trees if it wasn't for that harpy in there! " the shadow bit back, before reaching inside the bag and pulling out a pack of cookies and a cream cake and shovelling them into his mouth. "If it wasn't for her, I wouldn't be out here in the cold, starving and alone!"

Link's blue eyes widened in surprise and anger. "I can't believe you're still blaming her, after what you did?"

Dark almost choked on his food when Link spoke, almost unable to believe the words coming from his mouth. He was actually defending her? How could he? The guy was practically his brother and here he was, seriously taking her side in all this.

"You mean what we did!" he gasped when he regained his breath "You were in on it too, and beat a rather hasty retreat to save your own skin I might add"

Link's frown softened and he sighed slightly and kicked the ground. The words stung, despite how much he didn't want to admit it. He knew he was just as much to blame, but for some reason, Dark hadn't given that information out. "I know" he said after a while,…"I- I'm sorry man….I just…..panicked"

Dark glared at him with another mouthful of food already replacing the one he lost before. "You panicked?" he mumbled, barely coherently, with his mouth full. "Seriously? Armies of moblins, iron knuckles, darknuts…..and me, and that's what makes you panic? If I'd realised that when I met you I'd have got myself a blonde wig and a pink dress"

Link, who had been looking down at the ground a little guiltily lifted his head to catch the shadow's gaze.

"Hey! Back off Dark! She's practically my girlfriend and I did catch you making out with her. By all rights it's me who should be mad!"

The dark one snickered, once again with his mouth full and spilling out a few cake crumbs as he laughed. "Yeah…'cept she's not your girlfriend and…"

"…..and probably never will be now thanks to you!"

Dark shrugged in satisfaction and smiled down at what was left of his cake. "I can't help it if Zelda finds me irresistible"

"She doesn't, you idiot!" Link snapped, "She thought it was me she was kissing!"

Dark barely even flinched at Link's outburst, although the grin did fade a little from his face, which was probably more from the fact there was no more cake left having eaten what was left of it whilst Link was whining. Goddesses he wished there was still more cake! Especially since now Link was still complaining.

"Unfortunately for me," the hero groaned, "Is that the spell wore off at the worst possible moment!"

"Yeah, one more taste of me and she would definitely have fallen for the dark side" Dark chimed in, leaning back up against the tree and grinning cheekily.

"Oh just shut up and help me figure out what to do"

Dark shrugged at him. "But you're not even the one being punished here!"

Link turned and glared at his dark and somewhat evil counterpart. "Oh…believe me Dark,…. I am. She's in foul mood because of it"

Dark chuckled lightly and latched his fingers underneath his belt. "Yeah, that chick seriously needs to loosen up!"

Link groaned again and rubbed his temples whilst closing his eyes. Talking to his shadow often gave him a headache. "Please…Dark…Please don't call her that. She's a refined, elegant and beautiful lady. She doesn't deserve to be around disgusting creepers like you"

Dark Link clicked his tongue and searched the sky as a small nugget of an idea sprung forth in his twisted mind, making his ruby eyes widen in anticipation.

"Oh I got it!" he whispered gleefully.

Link, who had sat himself down on a nearby rock with his head in his hands now looked up doubtfully at the shadow.

"You haven't got anything" he huffed through narrowed eyes.

"I have so got it"

Link huffed again and stood up, with his arms crossed over his chest and his eyebrows raised in mock anticipation at his dark clone's brilliant idea, or lack thereof.

"Okay" Dark began, "First, we get one of those bottle deelies you're always banging on about…"

Link rolled his eyes immediately. He knew this was going to be a terrible idea. "First of all Dark, they're not dealies….it's just a bottle….and I'm not always banging on about them"

Dark was completely unperturbed by Link's interruption however.

"Then, we go out to the woods and get some of those weird bugs…you know the ones. They poop out bits of string and have like a gazillion hairy legs….the ones that make you scream like a sissy girl"

Link flushed a hundred shades of red and argued back just a little too fiercely and too quickly to be believed. "I DO NOT scream like a sissy girl! Spiders just …..give me the creeps, that's all"

Dark grinned back in triumph. "Whatever, Link…but I haven't got to the best part yet"

Link had an ominous feeling as Dark began to explain his 'genius' idea, and, just as he'd feared, it was completely stupid.

"No!" he declared, "No way, absolutely not, not a chance in hell am I having anything to do with that!"

Dark pulled a face that looked something akin to puppy-dog eyes in an attempt to convince the lovesick hero of time.

"Awww, come on man…you get to be the hero"

"No!"

"You can rescue her again!"

"No!"

"She might even let you kiss her!"

"No!"

"And let you touch the good stuff"

"N…Really?"

About an hour later, both Link and his evil shadow were rummaging through an old chest hidden deep within the basement of the castle, as they searched for a very special set of equipment to carry out Dark's plan. So far Dark had dragged him round the almost pitch black forest through the mud to find the damn spiders underneath an old log, now he was dragging him down into the dusty basement for something else that 'they absolutely had to have'.

"I can't believe I let you talk me into this….this is even worse than the last 'brilliant' idea you had" Link muttered, with a little more than a touch of sarcasm. "Oh….Link….I found this spell that can make everyone think I'm you" he mocked the shadow in the most dim-witted voice he could imitate whilst waving his arms like a lunatic.

"Hey!...I do not sound like that!"

"Yeah, I made you sound way smarter than you really are" the hero grinned, and narrowly avoided a punch aimed at his chin.

"Just shut up Link and help me look. If I get caught in here I'm in serious trouble. Just remember your side of the plan, okay?….When Zelda jumps into your arms, just remember to think of me"

The colour drained from Link's face at Dark's words. "Eeeuuuwww….I'm not gonna think of you at a time like that!"

"No you idiot" Dark groaned, rolling his eyes, "Don't forget to get her to lift this ban on me being in the castle or anywhere near you!"

"Awww….honey? I didn't know you missed me so much" the hero of time grinned much to his shadow's dismay. Dark narrowed his eyes and twisted his mouth into a sneer, but was far too distracted to think of an appropriately witty and scathing comeback. It didn't matter anymore to the shadow anyway as Dark's face broke into a broad grin and he put down the lantern he was holding before standing up straight and holding out the item he was searching for; the stone mask.

Link's face was expressionless as he crossed his arms over his chest. "Are you absolutely sure this'll work?" he questioned. Dark smiled softly whilst he dusted off the mask with a corner of his tunic.

"Of course I'm sure. Have I ever let you down before?"

Link could only bite his tongue as he kept his arms folded and scowled at his shadow.

"Apart from that time" Dark added.

Link arched his eyebrows knowingly.

"Or that" Dark added again.

The walk up to Zelda's huge and luxurious pink and purple decorated bedroom should have been fraught with obstacles. Guards should have been blocking them at each and every turn, but Dark had good reason for searching for the stone mask he now wore, as well as the Garo hood that covered Link's head.

Dark giggled mischievously from behind the heavy mask. "See Link…isn't this fun, I told you it was a good plan"

Link didn't really want to admit it, but he had missed Dark and his antics. He wasn't entirely sure what effect Dark always seemed to have over him, or anyone else that the shadow met. People just seemed to fall under his spell, and become wrapped around his little finger. Anything he wanted, no matter how outrageous, it was always just a matter of time before he got his own way. Link suspected this was partly the reason Zelda's punishment had been so lenient. Casting a magic spell that turned out to be stolen from an old witch that made him impersonate the hero of time should have been tantamount to treason….and yet, somehow the shadow had even managed to worm his way out of that virtually unpunished!

Link followed closely behind his darker half; it was almost as if he knew very well where he was going, a little too well perhaps. How long had he been planning this?

As they reached the huge white doors of Zelda's private bedchamber, with their elaborate gilt decoration, Link had a moment of hesitation. Thinking quickly, he reached out and placed his hand on Dark's shoulder.

Dark turned around to gaze at his lighter self, and although they were well hidden, Link could feel Dark's ruby eyes boring into him from behind the mask of stone.

"Come on Link" Dark said with a surprising degree of softness, "You're not turning cuccoo on me are you"

Link steeled himself in the face of Dark's mockery and reached past the shadow to open the door a little.

The duo poked their heads inside the room. It was the most spotlessly clean and compulsively neat bedroom that either of them had ever seen. Dark was the first to push the door open wide and step confidently into the room that was dimly lit by a few lanterns dotted here and there. He looked around in one last check for any guards that might be lurking before he reached inside the cloak he was wearing and pulled out the bottle of hairy-legged arachnids. He smirked when he saw Link squirm out of the corner of his eye and back away tentatively as Dark opened up the lid and tipped the contents over the meticulously well-made four poster bed. Finally, he pulled over the covers, almost as if to tuck the little creatures in for the night.

"There you go Dampe" he cooed, "Sleep tight!"

Link frowned at Dark.

"Dampe?" he asked, "You named one of them after the gravedigger?"

Dark Link smiled and nodded at the hero. "He's the big one" he grinned, "Quite the resemblance don't you think?"

Link buried his brow into his left hand as he groaned at Dark's funny little ways. "Okay…whatever makes you happy, Dark. Now what do we do?"

Dark smiled again, and not in a nice way. It was the kind of smile he always gave right before he did something, something that usually landed Link in trouble. But before Link even had a chance to move away, Dark suddenly pushed Link inside the closet and closing the little latch.

Link hissed against the door "Hey! What's the matter with you? What's the big idea?"

Dark pressed his face up against the crack between the doors and shushed him. "Shut up, fairy boy! Or the guards will come!"

He heard Link snarl at him inside the closet and closed his eyes, just enjoying the pleasant sound of his lighter side's torment in full knowledge that he hated being trapped in small spaces like that. "Hush sweet-pea" he murmured softly, "It will all be over soon"

Link frowned inside the closet and stepped back slightly from the door. "Seriously man….that's kinda creepy" He expected some kind of witty retort from his darker self, but heard instead only a light hearted chuckle followed swiftly by the patter of Dark's feet as he left Link shut in there, in the dark…alone. The guy was a real jerk!

Link huffed to himself and flopped against the back wall of the closet. It shouldn't be too long at least. It was getting on to sunset when they set off to the woods, and almost an hour past when they went in the basement. Link was certain since he heard the castle chefs chime the bells to announce dinner. This meant that very soon, Zelda would return to her bedchamber…..she was rather predictable like that. Then she'd see the horrid creatures Dark had left for her….she'd scream her lungs out and Link would burst out….

…..wait

…he was already in here…how? How was he going to explain his presence in here?

It was at that untimely moment that Link heard a sound that made his stomach turn, a sound that turned his palms cold and clammy far worse than any monster ever could. It was the sound of Zelda turning the handle of her bedroom door, followed swiftly by the sound of her light footsteps over the luxurious velvety rug towards her bed, followed by….

AAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGHHHHH!

It was now or never….

Suddenly a swathe of light hit Link's eyes, making him flinch away, although he was just about able to make out Zelda's silhouette from the blinding light behind her.

"Link! What in Hylia's name do you think you're doing in my closet?" Zelda somehow managed to sound surprised, confused and angry all in one delicate tone.

"Uhhhhh….ummm….never fear… y-your h-h-highness?" Link almost questioned "I will….like…save you…or something?"

Zelda's face turned from surprise and bewilderment to annoyance and disgust via a side route of slight panic as the thought of the eight-legged beasts that might at any moment start running up her legs crossed her mind.

"What? For goodness sake Link w-why?...Ugh! Never mind"

She brushed him aside to reach down towards the back left hand corner of the closet towards an item that Link wouldn't have noticed if he had a map, a compass and if it was placed inside an ornate glowing chest.

"Ta-da-da-daaaah" Zelda sang extremely sarcastically, as she held the tennis racket above her head, as if ready to wallop Link with it. She strode back over to her bed, where all the spiders were still waiting to meet their demise, a few of them barely moving, having made themselves comfortable.

"Say your prayers varmints" Zelda sneered as she drew back her hand ready to squash them.

"Nooooooo….not little Dampe" Dark squealed as he burst into the room.

Zelda stayed her hand but snapped round to behold the darker side of her not-so dashing hero of time as he leapt to save the critters before she went through the same phases of expression that she had with Link, only this time, without the side-route of panic.

"Dark?" She exclaimed in shock and fury, "What ….the hell…..do you think you're doing in here?"

Dark was quick to rescue Dampe and his friends, which was probably the only thing that saved his skin…having several spiders crawling over him, although it didn't help his case that he was extremely ticklish, and their little wandering legs were driving him crazy.

"Are you laughing at me?" Zelda asked in disbelief, with a face redder than a Goron ruby.

"N-n-no…y-y-your….h-h-h-highn-n-ness" Dark giggled, as Dampe managed to wriggle under the collar of his shirt, tickling his neck and collarbone beyond belief.

"How…DARE….you laugh at me…you….you scoundrel,…you disgusting wretch, you….you….and just where do you think you're going Link?"

Link sighed and slumped before turning back round from the door. He'd almost made it.

"Did you really think I wouldn't figure this out, hmm?" Zelda went on. "Did you two really think I wouldn't notice that!" Zelda pointed to the huge muddy footprints on her otherwise pristine carpet.

"Relax Princess" Dark piped up, having managed to catch most of the spiders back into the bottle, except for Dampe, who was still giving him hell somewhere down the back of his shirt. "A little spit and we…."

"No!" Zelda interrupted, holding up her hand, "Don't even bother…Guards!"

"All in all not too bad a result wouldn't ya say?"

Link looked up at his companion in despair from his position; propping his head on his hands which were resting on the shovel he was using.

"You're kidding me right? Dark…we're stuck digging out the castle gardens for the next two weeks! Do you have any idea how much hero stuff I'm gonna miss out on doing this, not to mention that this is all your fault!"

Dark grinned and rested his cheek on the side of his own "Oh relax sweet-pea, I've got another great idea!"