Rosalind was aware of her feelings for Cohen well before she decided to make a move toward satisfying them. To her, the sensation of actual emotional desire was disconcerting. She felt fond of very few people and she was physically attracted to even fewer. To have both emotions combined and directed at one person was an anomaly which she could not ignore. It annoyed her at first. After all she'd been accused of having such thoughts about West and that had caused her a lot of trouble. Actually having such desires for one of her teachers was simply unacceptable.
Over the course of the regular school year she internalized everything. Even Lauren, her closest confidant, didn't know the extent of Rosalind's feelings for Cohen. It was liberating when the last day of classes came. Instead of rehashing all her notes for her final Rosalind spent the morning doing her hair and makeup. She wanted to look her best. As soon as she finished her final Cohen would no longer be her teacher, and then. . . well she truly had no idea what would come next, but she assumed she would be able to muddle her way through.
She strode into the classroom with her head held high, a confident smile on her face. She imagined herself as a goddess of mathematics ready to impart her knowledge on the poor, struggling masses. It was a thoroughly ridiculous train of thought, but one she indulged on occasion. What was the use of being a genius if you didn't use it to stroke your own ego now and then?
The exam went very well and quickly for Rosalind. It was the wait afterward that was interminable. She passed the time by rehearsing how she would ask him about his feelings toward her. She went over the speech numerous times in her mind, trying to place each word in the exact right spot, to make her meaning explicit. Nobody had ever engaged her mind the way he did and she knew then that if she must marry she would only tolerate someone who could be on the same intellectual level as her.
When the last student made his way out, head hung low with shame, Rosalind slipped past and made her way up to Cohen's podium. He smiled at her, the smile that she had begun to treasure and crave a few months ago. If she could see that smile every day for the rest of her life she would be more than content. "E-excuse me, Professor."
Cohen finished packing the exams up and tucked his briefcase under his arm. "Yes, Miss Lutece? I hope you're not going to ask for your test back to correct an error." The humor in his voice made it clear to her that he was teasing. It was refreshing. Nobody had ever been familiar enough with her to tease before. She returned his smile, feeling warm and radiant. He seemed to arouse such wonderful feelings in her.
Rosalind shook her head, laughing nervously. Her stomach did several somersaults before she could speak again. She wondered if her nerves were obvious. "Oh no, I'm quite confident about my performance on the exam. I was. . . I was hoping we might talk about where our relationship shall go now that you are no longer my educator."
Cohen's eyebrows retreated toward his hairline and his smile faded. Rosalind's nerves became unmanageable. She clasped her hands in front of her body to prevent herself from fidgeting. "Miss Lutece. . . I'm quite flattered. We've become very close over the course of the year. You are my brightest pupil without a doubt."
It became clear that he was about to reject her, even to the inexperienced Rosalind. She felt her shoulders slump and her eyes fell to the floor. Cohen cleared his throat and rearranged the books on his desk. "It would be unseemly for us to have any form of relationship beyond that of collaborators. You saw yourself how a rumored relationship damaged your reputation, a factual one. . . it may ruin you. I've seen the brilliant passion you have for physics. It seems likely that you will have to choose between physics and family."
Rosalind nodded, her jaw clenched tightly. Cohen reached out to touch her hand. "I feared that would be the case. Will it. . ." Rosalind sighed and looked up again, meeting his eyes. She wasn't sure what she expected to see, but the sympathy in his gaze was too heavy a burden. It stabbed at her heart and she averted her eyes again. "It will always be this way, won't it?"
Cohen picked his books up and went toward the doorway. "This discussion is best had over tea, I think. It should at least be held in private."
Rosalind stayed rooted to the spot, her eyes still downcast. "No thank you, Professor Cohen. I suppose I know the answer to that question. Thank you very much for your encouragement Professor. I sincerely hope you enjoy your summer." She gathered her skirt and dashed past Cohen toward the exit. She didn't care about his reaction, what she needed most of all was to get some fresh air. It would be a tragedy if he were to see her cry.
Robert was not enjoying the last garden party of the season. It was the first social outing he'd attempted since the awkward card game and he felt very out of sorts. After giving the matter a great deal of thought he still had no way to make amends for his actions and the thought distressed him endlessly.
It didn't help that Bridget Cooper was there with both her husband and her brother-in-law. The men spotted Robert immediately when he entered the parlor. He ducked his head down, certain he must be blushing. The last thing he'd wanted was to harm Bridget's family life. He was quite pleased she'd found a good match and by all accounts they were a relatively happy couple. The thought that he might have spoiled that was unbearable.
As far as Robert was aware nobody else was aware of the issues between him and Bridget. Nobody mentioned it and he was able to avoid the injured parties throughout the evening. By the end of the night he'd nearly forgotten it. It was bound to end and when Jeffrey Cooper pulled him aside Robert felt his stomach clench. He followed without a word, fidgeting with the buttons of his jacket. His hands trembled a little, which made it harder to maintain his composure when Jeffrey closed the door behind them, sealing them both into the empty room. "My brother says you have been poking at the embers of my wife's indiscretions. I felt the need to speak to you and discover why." His voice sounded hard and cold.
Cooper was slightly shorter than Robert but for all of that Robert still felt nervous. His trembling grew worse for a moment. Even a deep breath did nothing to ease his discomfort. Robert licked his lips and began, the tremble evident in his voice at first. "It was not my intention to harm her reputation. Though our relationship is now defined by that moment between us I harbor no ill will toward her. That moment is mine as well as hers and I don't think it appropriate that you blame my account of it for any troubles she may have endured." His courage grew as he spoke. His trembling continued but he was surprised to realize that the trembles were not due to anxiety but anger. He was angry that his words should get anyone into trouble, but also that he could not talk about the uncomfortable confrontation between himself and Bridget. He felt that his good nature had been abused and his own reputation put at stake.
Cooper moved closer and Robert moved back reflexively. It didn't help much, Cooper had an amazingly long reach for such a short man. When Cooper's fist connected with Robert's face Robert saw stars and was knocked backward. "My wife has been the epitome of graceful since then and I won't let you put her on trial for things she did as a child." Robert put his hand to his face and straightened. He didn't understand why he'd been hit but he knew damn well he would not tolerate a second blow.
Robert frowned and shoved past Cooper. It was hard to restrain his response to a simple shove, but Robert was no fighter. "If I am to apologize it will not be to you. Your reputation is not the one I tarnished." He jerked the door open hard enough for it to hit the wall with a loud bang. Several guests jumped and looked over at Robert but he didn't care a whit. He strode through the crowd, imagining that a storm was brewing over his head, his anger making him feel powerful and uncontrolled. He strode over to Bridget who appeared to be quite frightened of him. He stopped, with every eye on him. His hand brushed through his hair and he took a deep breath. "Madame, if I have offended you I apologize. I harbor no ill will toward you and I believe that married life has suited you well."
Bridget frowned, though she appeared to be confused rather than angry. She nodded and canted her head up to look Robert in the eyes. "I apologize as well for my actions as a child. Had I known they still galled you I would have made amends sooner. I do not wish for the person I am now to be the same as the person I was. I wronged you and I am sorry."
Robert felt his shoulders relaxing. The thoughts of stormclouds faded away. He still felt a little angry and a little anxious. None of that mattered though, because he realized that they were not terribly different. Time had altered them both. They were, he thought, both better people now. "Thank you. I accept your apology."
Bridget nodded and delicately turned Robert's face to examine the mark where he'd been struck. "Ooh, that doesn't look good. I shall speak to Jeffrey about this." She pulled her hand away and gave Robert a hesitant smile. "I think it's best if we go now. It seems that sparks always fly between us, Robert."
Robert let out a single wry chuckle. "Indeed they do. Take care, Mrs. Cooper."