A/N: I just wanted to say thank you to all the people that have read and reviewed over the last three days! It's kind of awesome to know that with one story and three days, I can surpass the reviews my longer-running fic has garnered over two or three months, and also manage to get almost 1000 views.

Now, as to what I'm writing. I know that the last chapter was more than a little upsetting at the end there, I was crying as I wrote it. It was a special kind of hard for me, because Cinna is one of my favorite characters and I know that he's going to die. I felt I had to give him a good send off, and so I had to write it the way I did to feel like I was paying tribute to him. I also had to rewrite Peeta's interview, because I felt like it would be a special kind of cruel for him to know the truth about Kat and Jojo and still go ahead with the "we're already married, and by the way she's knocked up." He's too kind and too good to do that, hence the ambiguous language that would still have the Capitol people think he was saying one thing when he was really saying "go for it ladies."

00000000

It's chaos on-stage, and we cannot see. The studio is so dark that the only kind of guide any of us have is the hand of the victor to our left as Peeta drags us in the direction he came from. He leads us to the stairs and then lets go of my hand, pushing me on and staying to make sure everyone else gets out safely too. I can't breathe anymore, the air in my lungs refuses to escape and I can't find oxygen in it anymore. My head is spinning with the events of tonight, the things we all said, the dress I wore and the man it condemned, and the pain of knowing that no matter what happened tonight, tomorrow we will still all be trying to kill each other. Johanna keeps me on my feet and running until we reach the lifts, and once we're in, Cashmere hits the button to close the doors, leaving us alone with one last glance. She pushes me up against the wall and presses herself against me, stroking my hair and murmuring softly to me, no real words coming out of her mouth as she tries to calm me so I can breathe once more.

She doesn't ask if I want her to stay with me tonight, she just hits the button for the twelfth floor and keeps holding on. By the time the doors open again, my lungs are working but my vision is swimming and I can't walk or see at all. She slips an arm around my waist and guides me down the hall, her steps slow and measured as she fusses over me. When I burst into tears when we reach my door, she lifts me off the ground and carries me to the bed, the click of the latch behind us not making it into our awareness. She lays me down and starts to undress me, a look of determination on her face as she unzips my dress and shimmies it off of me. She doesn't even blink tonight when I'm bare, she just strips herself with quick motions and climbs into bed with me, pulling the sheets over us. I'm still crying, I can't seem to stop, but I snuggle as far into her body as I can and wrap her in my arms, breathing her scent. Now that she doesn't have to be strong, she tears up as well, sobbing quietly because she knows I'm in pain and there is nothing she can do to help me.

We lay like that, crying and holding on, for over an hour. Eventually, when there are no more tears to weep, she lifts my face to hers and kisses me again and again. These kisses are different from the ones we usually share. Instead of passion and need, her kisses tonight are apologies for the friend I am about to lose, tender touches to dry my eyes, caresses to convey everything we couldn't say with cameras watching. Tonight, she tells me a story without words, a tale of loss and pain and betrayal, a tale of shared grief. When we cannot keep our eyes open any longer, we sleep wrapped around each other knowing that nothing will be the same anymore. By uniting tonight against the Capitol, we the victors stood up and showed Snow that we are not his toys or his puppets, and now things will be even worse for us. Yet still we must hold on, stand strong, and keep fighting.

When the sun rises, we lie still in our embrace. When Effie knocks to wake me, we stir and share a silent oath. Snow will pay for everything that he has done. Remember who the real enemy is. We get dressed in silence, but we cannot and will not hide anymore. We walk out of my room hand in hand, and though Effie seems surprised that Johanna was with me through the night, she just fans herself and tries not to tear up again. I can see that her eyes are red and puffy, so I think it is likely that she has spent the night crying as well, for Cinna and for me. Today we must be strong, so we eat in silence, filling up on as much rich food as we can hold without becoming sick. We part ways, Johanna and I, so that she can finish her own preparations and I can say goodbye to Haymitch and Effie for what may be the last time. I will not accept it, in fact after last night I will fight harder than ever to get my lumberjack and I out of the arena alive, but we cannot know what Snow has in store for us after the interviews.

"Effie, you were... the best escort Peeta and I could have ever hoped for. You did everything right, everything you could to make sure that we were all that we could become, and there is nothing else we could ask of you." I say to her as I take hold of her hands. Peeta steps right up to us and places his hand over his heart. "You deserved so much more than what we gave you. On what will probably be the last morning you ever see us, just know that you have our love." There he goes again, outdoing me without even trying. Even though it pricks my pride a little, I smile because he has said exactly the right thing just like always. He and I turn to Haymitch, who waves his hand to forestall any speeches. He pulls us into his arms and just hugs us, keeping a straight face though Peeta and I can both see that he wishes he could drink himself comatose. When he pulls back, he claps us both on the back and says, "Stay alive." We grin at what has become an old joke amongst us, the victors of Twelve. Then he looks me in the eye and says, "Katniss, when you're in the arena, just... remember who the real enemy is." With that, we turn and leave to go to prep.

Portia takes Peeta with her to one hover, and I am relieved to see Cinna waiting for me at the ladder of the transport that will take me to the arena. He smiles at me like always, radiating the warmth that I associate with him. He takes me by the hand as we enter the hover and doesn't let go or let me look away from him at all during the flight. I spend that time memorizing every feature of his face, from his warm caramel skin to the gold eyeliner that he wears and the multiple earrings in his ears. When the windows black out, I know we're almost there and I take a heavy breath. We walk the halls and I'm in a daze, nearly paralyzed with the thought that I'm about to enter another arena and I could lose everything in a flash. In the Launch Room, Cinna dresses me in the blue jumpsuit and purple belt we were provided this year. He doesn't have any insight to offer about what to expect, so we don't speak. When I'm standing in the tube and waiting for the platform to rise, he and I press our hands against the glass that separates us. We don't see the Peacekeepers coming, so the splash of crimson on the surface in front of me startles me and I scream for him. They beat him badly, but I can see that he is still alive as they drag him away, and I'm crying again. I feel the platform begin to move, so I furiously scrub my eyes and try to stand tall for him.

The first thing I notice when my head is above ground is the smell of salt and wet. The arena all around me is water and I think that Finnick is the dangerous one out here. The countdown beats against my skull, but I'm staring at the Cornucopia because I see what I want. Scattered around the tiny island it's on are the weapons I need. I look around but there is no one near me that I want to protect, so I make up my mind to be the first to get there so I can arm myself and start to carry out my plan. I must protect Johanna, I must stay alive for her, and I must take out as many competitors as I can here at the beginning. When the gong sounds, I am off the platform and slicing through the water in a mad race to get to one of the narrow strips of rock that seem to be spaced like spokes of a wheel. It seems just a few seconds and my hands are pulling me up, my legs are pumping like mad, and I am closing in on the bow that I need.

My hands close on it, and then there is someone behind me and I yank an arrow out of the quiver that I don't have time to grab and draw the string as I spin and drop to one knee. There stands Finnick, trident in one hand and his other hand raised as if he's showing me something. Then I see it, a golden bangle that I seem to remember Haymitch wearing a day ago. "If you swim that fast, I suppose it's a good thing we're allies isn't it?" he drawls, a worried look on his face as she stares down the shaft of my arrow. I have a second to consider, then he yells at me to duck and his trident whistles over my head as I fall to the ground. I see Enobaria trying to sneak up behind him and fire between his legs. It startles him, but when he hears the splash of her diving to escape my shot he just nods in thanks and goes to retrieve his weapon from the body of the male District Five tribute. I notch another arrow and sink it into Gloss' calf without hesitating. With no immediate threats, Finnick and I grab as many weapons as we can and dash away with me firing at Brutus as we go. He blocks the arrow with his belt and dives into the water again, and I don't have the time to try and kill him again. Finnick dives into the water without a word and I wonder if he's abandoning me until I see that he's swimming right for Peeta, who has yet to leave his platform.

I knock another arrow just in case, but I am almost certain that Haymitch is telling me to trust him by giving him the bangle, so I also keep a look out for Johanna. I can't see her and I begin to panic, but I take a breath to calm myself and hold onto the image of her from her first Games. I can believe in that Fury, and seeing her like that assuages my panic long enough to notice the other District Four, an old woman by the name of Mags, paddling her way to us slowly. Since Finnick went to grab Peeta, I drop my bow and quivers and dive back into the water myself to aid her in reaching land faster. I get her back to my weapons as Finnick and the baker's son rise out of the waves and extend their hands. I immediately turn to Peeta and ask, "Where is Johanna, could you see her?" He shakes his head, but Finnick speaks up and assures me that she'll be fine. I sense that there is more he isn't telling me, but I don't have time to wonder.

Then I have another panic attack, right out in the open. I see in my mind an image of Johanna crumpled against the far side of the Cornucopia where I would not find her, and there are black spots dancing in my vision. I run blindly away from the island and the image of my fallen lover, crashing into the trees and only just staying on my feet with my bow and my quivers. I can hear Finnick and Peeta calling after me, and soon I can hear them closing the gap. I fall to my knees and try to breathe, repeating over and over 'She's alive. She's alive. She wouldn't die like this, she's alive.' in my head. I can feel strong hands on my shoulders that I know do not belong to Peeta, but at this moment I do not care. I need the contact to ground me in reality.

He helps me stand as Peeta arrives with Mags on his back. We are all out of breath except for her, and the heat in this jungle is terrible and sticky. We know we cannot drink the water at the Cornucopia, so Peeta suggests that we search for a source of fresh water. We aren't far from the top of the ridge, and we all agree that perhaps we'd be safer on the other side of it while we look for water. I toss Peeta a knife I had stashed in my belt and he takes the lead, slashing away vines and brush from in front of us as we trek up. We don't have far to go when I realize that there is no other side, at least not for us. I'm the farthest down the hill but I see the shimmering in the air. It doesn't move with me, it doesn't change, it just hangs there, and I remember what Beetee said about the chink in armor, the weak point of the forcefield. My warning cry comes too late, and there is a flash and a buzzing sound before Peeta is flung backwards several feet.

My feet crash through the undergrowth and I sprint to his side, diving to the ground to press my ear to his chest. I think I expect to hear his heart racing and unsteady, but instead I hear... silence. There is nothing, no heartbeat, no breath, nothing but the smell of charred flesh. A wounded howl rises from deep in my gut and spills out into the air even as Finnick pushes me aside and starts to pump his chest. Nothing changes, not when he tilts Peeta's head back and breathes for him, and not when he pumps on his ribs, getting more frantic with each passing moment. I howl, and Finnick pumps. Nothing changes, at least not until we both hear a splintering crack and Peeta's chest fails to spring back into place. In that moment, we both know... Peeta is really dead.

There is a sound of thunder, someone barreling through the trees and coming closer every moment, and Finnick and I both grab our weapons. We are raw at having already failed to keep one of our number alive, and when our eyes meet for a moment an unspoken agreement passes between us. There is only one person in this arena who will survive getting close enough to see us, and she could be anywhere. Unless by some miracle the crashing is Johanna trying desperately to find us, there will be another corpse on the ground here in a moment. I have my arrow drawn and ready, Finnick has risen to his feet so fluidly I wonder how he managed it and has his trident balanced, and then...

"Katniss!? Katniss, goddammit where are you?! KATNISS!" My bow hits the ground and I am flying through the air using the nearest tree as a springboard. I see her just before I push off and I cry her name so she knows I'm coming and doesn't kill me by accident. "Jojo!" I see her look up and time slows to a standstill. I am suspended in the air, she is between one step and the next, and our eyes meet with a frantic need to confirm that the other is really there. She drops her axes and the flow of the world resumes, and I land on top of her tumbling us both to the ground. My arms wrap around her in a crushing hug and I'm babbling bits of sentences that don't connect in any particular order. Finnick stands over us, watching the trees as Johanna runs her hands over me checking for injuries. She doesn't find any, so asks, "Katniss, why were you screaming? You sounded like you were dying!" I stop mumbling into her chest and look at her, my guilt plain on my face. "Peeta's dead. I saw the forcefield but I didn't warn him fast enough. It... it zapped him and..." I trail off, fighting to breath around the lump in my throat. Finnick whispers the rest of my sentence for me. "And I couldn't save him. I tried to resuscitate him, but... I couldn't. I got desperate, tried too hard. He's gone." Johanna cradles me into her chest and rocks me. I wonder again how I ended up so lucky, how I ever deserved a woman like her, because she understands. It's not losing Peeta that made me howl, it's losing someone I had chosen as an ally.