Hours have passed since the interview aired from the Capitol, and though we don't know if it was live, it gives us hope that Finnick is healthy. That he's alright, that we could maybe manage to get him back if we had the right plan. I feel my cheeks turn red as I reminisce over the how enthusiastically we... celebrated that hope. I am still amazed that this strong and beautiful woman, this amazon, the Fury that is Johanna Mason, could possibly fall in love with me. It isn't that I don't appreciate the things I've accomplished, but I see her as so much more, so much greater than me that what we have shouldn't even be possible. And yet I know for a fact that she thinks the same about me. She confessed it just before she went to sleep... Oh how sweet she looks as she sleeps. Innocent and peaceful, at least when she isn't screaming from nightmares.

My thoughts turn to brooding, and more specifically to the nightmares that we share now. We had our own from the years we were in the arena, but now we share nightmares from the Quell. Or at least, we both have nightmares from the Quell, and some of them line up. I remember how, that second day of the Games, I heard Prim screaming in the woods. I ran deep into the trees, desperately trying to find her, to save her from whatever they were doing to her, except she wasn't there. Instead, I found jabberjays swooping over my head, the sounds of Gale, Prim, and my mother screaming down at me as if they were in pain. Finnick had tried to follow me, to chase me down and stop me from disappearing, but he wasn't fast enough. I wish to the gods that he had been, or that he'd been faster than Johanna at least, because she is the one that made it into the trees before whatever force the Gamemakers exerted kept everyone out. I heard her scream my name, I heard her chasing after me, but I lost her in the swirl. And then, things took a turn for the worse for both of us. I heard her voice, and though I knew it was coming from one of the birds because the damn thing swooped right in front of me, the agonized screams were the final straw and I ran blindly through the woods screaming for Johanna. When we found each other, I could hear that the birds had begun tormenting her with the only person she had left at that point: me. We just curled up on the floor of the jungle and cried, holding hands until the hour was up.

Now we sometimes will both wake screaming, and other times one of us will wake the other with our screams. In fact, that's a large part of why we were roomed together, no one else wanted to be in the same room with one of the "sirens of the wood" when we had night terrors. I heard someone call us that the other day, and I was amused. I still haven't told Johanna about it though. I figure she'd either hate it or she'd try and paint it on our clothes or something. Perhaps she'd even demand that we get it tattooed permanently somewhere, and because I can't tell her no even when I probably should, we'd do it and then never be able to lose the name. Gods, how I love her... And gods I need sleep, my thoughts are so disjointed that I can't focus on anything and I'm going from happy to depressing to happy and sappy again. At the heart of it all, I can see just how much I need her at my side, how much I've come to rely on her strength to bolster mine, how I use her scent to bring me back from the edge, how I use her touch to either lift me up or bring me back to earth. I see also just how much she needs me. She will never show weakness around anyone else, hence her being the one to carry me from Command today, but when we're alone I watch her mask fall away and she's just as scared and wounded as I am, she needs to hear my voice to make everything okay again. When one of us wakes from our nightmares, we turn to the other without a thought and just hold them, feeling their presence shore up the walls and make the world turn properly again.

I look to my left and sigh when I see the time. It's only four thirty, which means that I managed about three hours of sleep before waking up again. I know that with my mind running so fast, I'm condemned to a wakeful night. Which sucks. A lot. I need to rest, but I can't seem to. I sigh again, upset and wishing that I could sleep next to Johanna until the wake-up call, and roll out of the bed. I move silently across the floor to my dresser, trying to keep from waking her. She looks so... angelic, something that doesn't happen unless sleep has its hands on her. I slide the drawer open, finding my government-issued clothes inside, along with the locket that Peeta had worn into the arena in an attempt to have something to convince me to escape and my mockingjay pin. I pull out the undergarments that Johanna and I managed to 'procure' from some secret stores hidden in the underground district and slip them on. I've got my head buried in the gray shirt that everyone wears when I hear her stir and mumble, "You're awake? Where ya going?" I fight my way into the constricting cloth and look at her, my right hand searching blindly for the pants I had been issued as I answer her. "I'm going to Command. I need to tell them... I, uh... I need to tell them that I'm going to be the Mockingjay for them."

She smiles sleepily and rolls out of bed with me, stark as she was the night I met her, and my eyes snap to her body without a thought. I hungrily devour the sight of her, even knowing that most people would see the scars that trace her flesh as blemishes. Johanna and I though? We love the scars that we have, we treasure the stories of how they happened, because they are what make us who we are. She shuffles over to her dresser and starts to get dressed, calming me with a silent promise to stand beside me. I do as I usually do and pin my mockingjay to her breast, putting Peeta's pendant around my neck with the same mockingjay facing out. We always match, as much as we can anyway. We smile in the dark, gentle touches and breathy giggles as we bump hips in an ever escalating shove war even as we try to tie on our boots.

We slip out of our room, hand in hand, speaking in hushed voices as I try and figure out how to do what I am about to do. "I want to do this... I need to. This is how I can get justice for us, for all of us. It's just... Finnick. Finnick and Cashmere. I'm afraid that when this is all over, they're going to execute them as traitors, even though you've told me about how tough Cash is and we both know how Finn is." I feel Johanna's hand squeeze mine and she murmurs, "Katniss, baby... I don't think you realize how important your decision is to their revolution. If you want to keep Finn and Cash safe from them, I'm sure you can."

I ponder her words, hope kindling in my breast as I think about how I might be able to save our only surviving friend. Beetee is a genius, and his contribution was indispensable for our escape, but he's not really a friend to either of us. Finnick though? He kept me alive in the arena, and he kept Johanna sane in the years after her victory. He's all she has left other than me, and since he did so much for us in the Games, I have come to care about him too. And Cashmere too, though that really came as a surprise in the arena. She told us quietly there at the end how she'd stabbed Gloss until he stopped fighting back, just so he couldn't kill Johanna, Wiress, or Beetee. My brow furrowed in thought, I whisper back to her, "Do you really think that I can save him? That I can protect him by asking it?"

She chuckles at me and responds with a hint of her old snark, "Of course you can, brainless. They will do just about anything for you if it means you'll be their symbol." The smile I give her is as warm as I can manage, at least until I remember all the lies Haymitch would tell Peeta and I to get us to do what he wanted. That thought makes me realize that they might say anything to me, but a promise made behind closed doors with no proof or documentation could easily be reneged on. Even if they wrote it down, those documents could easily be made to vanish should it prove to be to their benefit.

Johanna sees my scowl and squeezes my hand, silently telling me that she has faith in me. As I ponder the situation, I lean into her and use her presence to shore up my resolve. Then it comes to me. "I'll ask that they say it publicly when the announcement is made. That they promise that Finnick will be safe when we save him, that he and Cash will be granted a full pardon for whatever things they think they've said that undermines them or whatever. It's not foolproof, but it's something." She bumps my shoulder and smiles at me with a satisfied smirk, and I know that I've pleased her and made her happy just by being smart about it.

Another few minutes brings us to the door of the Command center, and my nerves return in full force. I'm shaking and I'm seriously considering bolting until later in the day until my lumberjack spins me about. Her lips crash into mine, the hungry dance of her lips igniting desire in me as well as succeeding in firing me up and making me feel like I can do anything. She doesn't give me a chance to breathe once she stops kissing me, just turns me again and opens the door to usher me in. My head is spinning and I'm woozy, but I'm grinning and standing straight. I look up and see that Coin, Plutarch, and all their people are all there, awake at a time when no one in their right mind should be. However, I suppose it shouldn't surprise me since they are trying to fight a war against the Capitol and their sympathizers. My thoughts are running a mile a minute, and I have a few more thoughts about things to ask for in the space of a few heartbeats. I want to be allowed to hunt with Johanna at my side, I want to have training as a proper soldier, again with Johanna at my side, and most importantly, I want to be the one to kill Snow.

I get the ball rolling with a simple statement as every head turns to us. "I'll be your Mockingjay." Everyone looks rather surprised, since I've been ducking their pressure and questions ever since I got here, but that look is nothing compared to what I say next. "I just have a few conditions." Plutarch sputters indignantly, but Coin... she looks at me with a sudden respect. She thought of me as a tool, but by saying that I had something I wanted in exchange for my name and my image to help them fight their war, I've shown that I have a bit of cunning despite my lover's nickname for me. Her voice is cool as she shushes Heavensbee and demands, "Name your terms." I take a breath and feel Johanna's arms slip around my waist, the pressure of her body molded to mine steadying the racing of my heart, though it doesn't slow it at all. I smile disarmingly, yet the expression seems to set Plutarch on edge even more. It must be because I'm not known for my smiles, but instead for my accuracy with a bow and my cold focus on what I want. My guess is that at this moment, he's afraid of what I'll ask of them.

"My conditions are simple," I say quietly, my smile never faltering. "First, I want the announcement to be public so that everyone will know and everyone will hear the things you agree to." Coin doesn't even blink, she just barks an affirmative. "Second, I want a guarantee that Finnick will be pardoned. Cashmere too." I hold up a hand to silence any protests as I explain, "He hasn't said anything to betray us, any of us. You heard the words he said in his interview, but you didn't hear what Johanna and I heard. We know him well enough to hear the message behind the words, and Johanna says that Cash is tougher than even her, so she won't talk about anything she knows."

Coin stares at me for several long minutes and I'm afraid that she'll say no, that she'll deny my first condition and I'll lose the man that is all Johanna had before me, then she nods yes. I breathe a silent sigh of relief, then continue, "Third, I want to be able to hunt, and I want Johanna to be allowed to come with me." I see movement in the back corner and realize that Gale is in the room. He is staring at me, his eyes burning and angry as he looks at the two of us together, and for several long minutes I think about how betrayed he must feel. I'm shaken back to the moment at hand when Coin tells me yes again. She holds up her hand to stop me and adds a set of qualifications.

"Give them two hours a day, deducted from their training time. They get a quarter-mile radius, with tracker anklets and com units, and whatever they get goes to the kitchens for dinner." I chew my lip as I realize what that means for my next demand. If our hunting time is deducted from our training time, that means that we'll have to chose between escaping from the compound for two hours and training for the war. I speak slowly, thinking carefully about that as I continue, "We also want to be trained for combat. If I'm going to be your Mockingjay, I want to actually be useful for you in ways that are more than just propaganda, and I want Johanna with me. I need her with me."

Coin smiles at that, and the expression makes me think of Snow because of how predatory it is. She doesn't even hesitate this time, she says yes and seems to be seizing on the opportunity to sink her hooks into me. It unnerves me, so I shrink into Johanna further and wish that I could be behind her instead of how it is. However, I know I need to seem strong, so I stay where I am. "Last condition... I want to be the one to kill Snow." I know my eyes show my hatred and revulsion for him, because the simple thought of him makes me wish my hands were around his throat for what he's already done to me.

Coin's expression cools, but she's still smiling. She's back to the quiet respect that she had at the beginning, and that makes me feel more at ease though I've realized how little I like her. I don't feel like I can trust her to do anything, like she's every bit as bad at Snow. "Tell you what, Soldier Everdeen. When we've got him, I'll flip you for the honor." I smile at that, and I can feel my lover's lips turn up in a grin against my neck, and I hold out my hand. President Coin grabs hold and gives a shake, both of us solidifying our respect for the other in that moment. She whispers so that only Johanna and I can hear, "You've got it. We'll hold up our side of the bargain, but you better perform."

I try to be as predatory as I've seen her be when I smile and reply, "I'll perform, don't you worry. I made my choice already." She nods and releases her grip, turning to Plutarch and his assistant, a woman by the name for Fulvia, and barks, "Call a national security brief during reflection today. We'll make the announcement then. Until then Plutarch, I leave her in your capable hands. Let's get our girls to work immediately."

We both blink, surprised at how... completely Coin seems to understand the way things stand with us, the understanding she has for why my demands included Johanna. Then she is gone and Fulvia descends on us. Plutarch makes some grumpy remark about not having coffee, but we ignore him as we are ushered out of the room through a door in the back. We see a darkened studio, and as we step in the lights start to flicker on. On the desk in front of us, there is a sketchbook open to a page with the distinctive swoop of handwriting that is so familiar to me. I see myself standing tall and proud on the page with armor that conforms to me and looks to be made of panels almost like overlapping feathers. At first glance, it is totally utilitarian and minimalist, but at second glance it is a work of art. Everything speaks of the bird my name is derived from, the symbol of the rebellion that I stand for now. I can't help stroking the page as I breathe, "Cinna..." I want to tear up, to cry for him, to grieve for the man who is even in death providing for me, but I can't. I have to stay strong, to hold on and truly stand for the cause.

Plutarch smiles softly, turning to the last page and showing me something. Johanna gasps and lets her mouth hang open as we read, 'I'm still betting on you, Girl on Fire.' I try for several minutes to speak, and finally manage to choke out, "When did he...?" Plutarch chuckles and thinks about it. "Well let's see... After the announcement of the Quell, but a few weeks before the Games I suppose. But, we don't only have sketches. We have your uniforms as well. Oh, and Beetee's got a surprise for you waiting down in the armory. I won't spoil it by hinting." I think of what I've been shown already and I realize that Cinna wanted me to make this decision, even before I knew there was a decision to be made. Plutarch and Fulvia have turned away and are speaking excitedly about something, though I have no idea what it is until I tune in after a few moments. "Our plan is to air an Airtime Assault. To make a series of what we call propos - short from propaganda spots - featuring you and broadcast them to the entire population of Panem."

Johanna looks at him with confusion on her face, "How? I thought the Capitol had sole control of the broadcasts." He actually chuckles at that and calls back, "Yes, but we have Beetee. About ten years ago, he essentially redesigned the wireless network that the broadcasts go out on. He thinks there's a reasonable chance we can do it. Of course, we'll need something to air, so that's where you come in. With that in mind, Fulvia?" The woman at his side begins to talk, and suddenly it's like we're back in the Capitol.

Johanna and I trudge back into our quarters after a long day of training. We were both outwardly disappointed when we were told that because of the state my old prep team was in from incarceration, my duties as Mockingjay were suspended until tomorrow. In actuality, we were both quite happy because that meant we could start on our regimen early, and I wouldn't have to be followed by cameras and trying to do something scripted until tomorrow. We had practically raced down to the training course, for the first time eager to get back into conditioning. We hadn't counted on the hell we were going to be put through, so when we were subjected to stress tests on the course, we were unprepared. For several hours, we didn't get a chance to breathe or rest. They kept us running, climbing over walls, and basically throwing every last obstacle and challenge they had at us. Now we feel like our limbs are going to fall off, and we can barely walk. Still, we're elated and running on a high from the day, feeling like we're finally accepted into things.

Johanna leans heavily against me, her fingers toying with my shirt as she kisses my neck. I grin and lean back, humming softly as she struggles to tug the offending cloth off. When she succeeds, I turn and wrap my arms around her, trying to remove her shirt as well for several minutes and finally succeeding myself. We giggle and tiredly pull off our pants, nearly falling over and stumbling to the bathroom in our room. I turn on the water so it can warm up, then turn to Johanna and pull her into my arms. I kiss her as passionately as I can with as tired as we are, my fingers unhooking her bra at the same time she manages to remove mine. We're too exhausted to get our panties off, so we just shuffle under the steaming stream and relax into each others arms, still smiling from our triumph. Today was a good day. We saved Finnick.