He was shaking as he put the phone down, with unsteady hand he replaced the receiver and picked the car keys up from the counter slipping them into his pocket. He found himself picking up pace as he walked back towards Sara but paused outside her room rubbing his hands over his face trying to regain some sort of composure he pushed the floor open to find her curled in the foetal position in the middle of the bed. His heart melted seeing her so valuable.

"It's ok honey, I'm going to make it stop," he whispered bending down and scooping her light frame up into his arms. Her skin felt clammy against his and he was relived when her hand gently gripped his shoulder as he shuffled her so she was in a better position to be carried. She barely weighed anything as he carrying her through the house, opening and locking the front door with her in his arms was a struggle but he could bare to let go off her. He managed to get her sat up in the front seat but didn't bother doing the belt up he just wanted to get there. Grissom had to force himself to drive sensible when all he wanted to door was floor it, it took all his self control to drive round the car park to find a space.

"It's ok were here," Grissom reassured Sara struggling to lift her from the car without putting his arms where she had been sick on the seat.

"Sorry, car," muttered Sara as Grissom began striding towards the ER entrance. The waiting room was quite full however before he had even reached the sign in window with Sara two nurses had come running out to great him.

"What happened, what's her name?" asked the shorter blonde nurse as the other wheeled over a gurney for him to put her on.

"Sara Sidle she had chemo earlier, she been really sick," Grissom followed the gurney still clinging into Sara had as they were taken into a cubical and the brunette nurse called for a doctor.

"What sort of treatment is she having?" asked the female doctor coming in while the blonde nurse began putting a Bp cuff on Sara's arm.

"Urm," Grissom had frozen, he was good at this stuff he knew what medications he was on what dose but his mind had frozen.

"It's ok well look in the notes,"

"Bp's ok, you want an IV," asked the nurse clearly used to this because as she said it she handed Sara an basin as she expelled what little was left in her stomach.

"Yeah, fluids and compozine," instructed the doctor, "you are?"

"Gil Grissom her urm boyfriend," replied Grissom now been forced to let go of Sara's arm as it was the one they wanted to start the IV in.

"Ok Mr Grissom did Sara loose consciousness at any time,"

"I don't' think so," replied Grissom having now turned into a complete wreak.

"It's ok probably just dehydration can be scary through," the blonde nurse reassured Grissom as she stuck a needle in a scarcely conscious Sara.

"I'll get you seat," she smiled, "I'm Jenny by the way."

Grissom sat in the cold, hard plastic chair that was placed by Sara's bed side. She was barely conscious now, an oxygen tube ran around her face and an IV pierced her pale skin. The nurse has propped her up slightly with pillows and placed a basin next to her. He couldn't do it, it felt like he was watching her die. Without warning he almost leapt from the seat and marched out the cubical with no idea of his destination. The hospital was busy as he walked through reception towards fresh air but just as he was about to step outside and hand grasped his arm.

"What's going on?" came the familiar voice of Catherine Willows. She was dishevelled and had clearly left the house in a rush rather than a bag she held her keys and purse, "Grissom speak to me," said Cath her voice increasing in pitch as panic edged in.

"She's in a cubical," said Grissom breaking away from Catherine grasp and walking out the hospital. Cath was torn as to who to go after she turned jogged towards where Grissom had gone but once outside he had vanished, she knew where he was anyway. Sighing she dialled Brass.

"Brass."

"Hey Jim are you on shift I really need a favour," said Cath pacing outside the hospital entrance.

"I'm at the station with Nick and Warrick but I can get away for while," replied Brass.

"Good I need to you to go fetch Grissom, Sara's in hospital,"

"Why is she ok? I thought Gil was at home with her," Brass rattled he questions of like a true cop.

"He was I'm not sure what's going on at the minute but Grissom just bailed from the hospital," said Cath.

"Ok don't worry, just ring me when you know something," said Brass hanging up and allowing Cath to finally go find out what was going on.

She found Sara's nurse who explained she was been treated for dehydration then she found Sara asleep in a cubical hocked up to drips and Bp monitors, Cath sat down in the seat next to the bed and made herself as comfy as she could she had a feeling she was going to be their a while.

The door to Grissom and Sara's house wasn't locked as Brass entered it seemed to be all in darkness but there sat on the sofa was Grissom.

"Cath sent you," said Grissom not even looking up.

"Yeah you see I'm a bit confused," said Brass walking so he was stood in front of Grissom, "your girlfriends in hospital and you here."

"I can't do it," said Grissom still not looking up.

"Do what?" asked Brass sitting on the coffee table.

"Be there for her, I can't get close," said Grissom.

"I think it's a bit late for that she's in love with you and I thought you loved her,"

"I do," said Grissom putting his head up, the rays of light coming into the dark room glistening on the wet tears streaked down his checks. "I don't know what to do, I told her that when she asked me out, I told her I didn't know what to do about it."

"But she did," said Brass.

"She always does. I have no idea what I'm doing Jim I can't sit there and watch her like that."

"I'm imaging sitting their like that isn't much fun either." For a second Grissom looked angrily at Brass, "believe it or not you don't have to have the answer for everything. All you have to do is be there and try your best."

"What if it's not good enough?"

"Then it's not but right now Sara needs you so where your whiskey?"

"Whiskey?"

"Dutch courage," replied Brass, "Nick overheard the fact you'd left and got angry, so after Cath's finished with you expect an ear full from him," said Brass getting up in search of a bottle.

Nick Stokes had practically ran to the hospital when he got to where Sara wa she was panting as he ran in.

"Nick," said Cath surprised from where she was sat rubbing Sara's shoulder sympathetically. Sara was now awake and not best pleased she didn't feel as physically sick as she had but she still felt horrible.

"Hey," said Sara weakly, "did you call everyone?" Sara asked slowly turning her head to Cath.

"You know Grissom when he panics its one of the few times he goes overboard," Cath said the last bit at Nick who she was trying to stare down.

"I know he's not here," said Sara looking at Nick and breaking into a hacking cough due to her dry throat.

"We just didn't want you to be alone," said Nick finally beginning to calm down.

"He'll be back when he's got a plan in his head," said Sara her voice croaky.

"I wouldn't call it a plan," said Grissom as the curtain went back and he and Brass walked in, "I'm sorry," he walked over and pulled Sara into a hug.

"We'll give you some privacy, come back when you've moved to a ward,2 said Cath ushering the two men out.

"Sara I'm really sorry."

"Don't be I knew you break eventually, I knew I would," said Sara as Grissom sat on the edge of the bed stroking her hair back.

"I love you," said Grissom with more emotion in his voice than Sara's had ever heard.

TBC………………

Ok I probably wont update again until the new year, I've got work and uni essays in so don't think I've forgotten it I will get back to this fic….until the Merry Christmas and please drop a review.