Author's Note: Lots of dialogue from Eclipse in this chapter. That's Stephenie's, and the rest is mine.
I slid through the window into Bella's room, into her supremely alluring scent. Just being here comforted me. I'd experienced some of the most powerful and important moments of my life within these four walls. Charlie was downstairs. He was reflecting on a call from Billy Black. It was hard to judge what the two of them wanted more: for Jacob and Bella to make them in-laws or for my family and me to vanish from the face of the earth. Don't let it get to you, I told myself sternly. It's a pipe dream. It doesn't matter what they want. Or what the dog wants. Or what I want. It's her choice, not anyone else's.
I could hear her truck approaching. She slammed the door, made her way up the steps—Be careful, love!—and entered the house. I could pick up her heartbeat. She was nervous. She expected me to be waiting. She chatted with Charlie briefly, and then I heard her climb the stairs.
She opened the door, and I was stunned into tense immobility. I could see her properly for the first time since I'd taken leave of her early this morning. For a fleeting instant, I had the impulse to fly across the room and wrap my arms around her, crush her against me. But I could also smell her, and it was wrong, all wrong. Sickening. Horrifying. She smelled like a dog. The most exquisite, delightful, mouth-watering scent I'd ever encountered, and he'd stolen it. Polluted it. It was like sniffing a beautiful flower and discovering an infestation of insects. Taking a swig from a glass of cold spring water after a sojurn in the desert and tasting pure vinegar. Leaning in for a kiss and receiving a slap. What had they been doing? His scent permeated her clothes. Even her hair! He had invaded my territory. No, not invaded. She had gone willingly. Somehow, that knowledge didn't improve my mood. But I wouldn't show her my disgust. That would be rude.
"Hi," she said quietly. I was still reeling from the revolting smell. The shock and distaste had erased my momentary calm and jolted me right back into anger. I wanted to scream at her for her thoughtless risk-taking, beg her to promise never to go there again, impose my will on her any way I could. But I was torn between these reactions, and I had to acknowledge that none seemed productive. I wouldn't scream at her. I had pleaded with her, and I had laid down the law, to no avail. I did nothing.
"So, I'm still alive." Her tentative words only served to emphasize all the nightmarish moments that her survival was in doubt. I remained silent and motionless. She shrugged. "No harm done." I pinched the bridge of my nose. Evidently, the agony she'd put me through and the drastic measures I'd nearly taken didn't constitute harm. But she didn't know about that.
"Bella, do you have any idea how close I came to crossing the line today? To breaking the treaty and coming after you? Do you know what that would have meant?"
She gasped. "You can't!" she exclaimed. "Edward, they'd use any excuse for a fight. They'd love that. You can't ever break the rules!"
"Maybe they aren't the only ones who would enjoy a fight." For a brief, giddy moment I allowed myself to envision the magnificent satisfaction of ending his existence. But she wouldn't like that.
"Don't you start. You made the treaty. You stick to it." Damn the treaty! I had no intention of killing any humans and no desire to set foot on their precious territory. I had no problem honoring the spirit of the treaty. If she hadn't gone where Alice was blind and I was bound not to follow, the issue would never have arisen. But more important than any treaty was my vow to Bella, to myself, to whatever god was listening: to protect her.
"If he'd hurt you," I began.
She interrupted me. "Enough! There's nothing to worry about. Jacob isn't dangerous."
Wrong answer! She meant to reassure me but her blithe dismissal of the threat had the opposite effect. She was stumbling towards a cliff in the dark. She was swimming with sharks. She was walking on a high wire without a net. Being with a werewolf was manifestly dangerous—how could she not know that? Had he concealed what he was capable of? Despite my desperate yearnings, I'd taken care to warn her against me. I'd given her many chances to keep her distance. He didn't seem to have the same scruples. Better frightened than lied to. She's tougher than you think. A little trouble makes life fun. These were hardly the words of a sensible, mature, cautious individual whose company I could approve for her.
"You aren't exactly the best judge of what is or isn't dangerous."
"I know I don't have to worry about Jake. And neither do you." I clenched my teeth. She wasn't exactly the best judge of what I did or didn't have to worry about, either. Besides being a menace to society, he was in love with her! Even without my abilities, our classmates knew it.
She approached and slid her arms around me. Her body heat felt wonderful, as always, but the scent of werewolf made it impossible for me to forget my distress and relax into her embrace. She apologized, and I couldn't help thawing a little bit. I put my arms around her. Remember this, I told myself. Her soft body, her lively heartbeat, her glowing spirit. What you thought you might never hold or hear or enjoy again.
"It was a very long day," I admitted.
"You weren't supposed to know about it. I thought you'd be hunting longer."
"When Alice saw you disappear, I came back." Of course.
"You shouldn't have done that," she chided. "Now you'll have to go away again."
"I can wait." I had to wait. After today I didn't know when I'd be able to tear myself away from her. I could tolerate the thirst. That just burned my throat, but the separation from her raged through my whole body and the hideous uncertainty lacerated my mind.
"That's ridiculous. I mean, I know she couldn't see me with Jacob, but you should have known—"
"But I didn't." I didn't know. I couldn't know. I spent hours not knowing, and it was unbearable. "And you can't expect me to let you—"
"Oh, yes, I can," she retorted. "That's exactly what I expect—"
What was the point in debating? "This won't happen again," I declared.
"That's right! Because you're not going to overreact next time." Overreact! I'd spent every second since I'd gotten Alice's call controlling my emotions, quelling my instincts. And she thought I was the one who needed to change my behavior.
"Because there isn't going to be a next time." I spelled it out.
"I understand when you have to leave, even if I don't like it."
"That's not the same. I'm not risking my life."
"Neither am I." This exchange was not constructive. I shouldn't let her draw me into bickering.
"I'm not negotiating this, Bella," I said firmly.
"Neither am I." Another impasse! Our connection felt unbreakable and inescapable, like magnets, yet we seemed to have stark differences of opinion on many important matters. She spoke again. "Is this really just about my safety?"
"What do you mean?" It was silly, it was the least of my concerns, but what came to mind was the awful smell. Did she think that was what I wanted to avoid?
"You aren't…," her voice trailed off. "I mean, you know better than to be jealous, right?"
"Do I?" I knew he'd been all over her. Just like he wanted.
"Be serious."
"Easily. There's nothing remotely humorous about this."
"Is this something else altogether? Some vampires-and-werewolves-are-always-enemies nonsense? Is this just a testosterone-fueled—"
Maybe. Yes. No. Of course. Of course not. It's only natural. It's completely ridiculous. It was so many things that even my mind couldn't sort it all out. But in the end it was only one thing: if all else remained, and she were annihilated, the universe would turn to a mighty stranger. I couldn't survive losing Bella. She was not allowed to be in jeopardy.
"This is only about you. All I care is that you're safe."
"Okay. I believe that. But I want you to know something—when it comes to all this enemies nonsense, I'm out. I am a neutral country. I am Switzerland."
"Bella," I began. She hadn't meant to upset me, but she refused to make any promises, to set my mind at ease. If someone was sorry, shouldn't that mean not repeating the offense? But she wasn't sorry she had spent time with him. She only regretted that I was unhappy about it. This argument wasn't going anywhere. I could see that I wasn't going to convince her. If she wouldn't help me, I'd have to protect her without her cooperation. I'd just have to guard her more closely. I could manage that. It was time to change the subject. I wrinkled my nose.
"What now?" She sounded annoyed.
"Well…don't be offended, but you smell like a dog."
Her mouth twisted into a rueful smile. "I'm sorry," she said meekly. "What can I do?"
"Really?" I eyed her warily, but she nodded.
"I want to smell good to you. You haven't even kissed me."
"I'll kiss you," I assured her. I reached under her chin to tilt her face up, but she swatted my hand away.
"Not so fast. I want you to enjoy it. Tell me what to do."
"I don't know," I admitted. But her obvious wish to please me was taking the painful edge off the unpleasant odor. "Take a long, hot shower? And—" I paused. I didn't want to be unreasonable.
"What?" she demanded.
"Do you really like those clothes?"
She laughed. "These old things? Why, do you want to burn them?" Her mouth fell open at my expression. "You do! You want to burn my outfit!" She giggled. "Okay. If that's what it takes."
Forty minutes later, her clothes were destroyed and she was lying in my arms, dressed in a fresh shirt and sweatpants, her hair wet and her skin flushed and damp from the shower. I buried my face in her neck and reveled in the intoxicating fragrance. Her heart was pounding. Her fingers were stroking my face. "I love you, Edward," she breathed. She anchored her hands into my hair. "But you still haven't kissed me."
"I'm afraid," I whispered. I was actually trembling. The rage and stress, then the relief, and now the euphoria were too much for my system to handle.
"Afraid of what?" she said in surprise.
"I won't be able to stop."
"I'll take my chances." Her smile— beautiful, wicked, electrifying— sent a shiver of excitement through me. She pulled me closer, and I felt the hot, sweet, softness envelop my lips. We kissed and kissed. It was like something out of a fairytale, the miraculous pot of gold that never diminished, an endless stream of delight. Because normally I'd have to stop. But her mouth on mine, her body against mine, the sound of her ragged breathing— these sensations were delicious, compelling and magical, without being overwhelming, without escalating into wild impulses that I had to restrain. I ran my hands through her hair, surprised to find that it was nearly dry. But I had just started kissing her. She was both relaxed and charged up as she pressed herself close to me. Were our lips moving in one long kiss or an infinite series of kisses? A voice from below shattered our blissful bubble.
"Bella! What are you doing up there? Are you going to cook dinner?"
Author's Note: Edward mentally quotes the same famous line from Wuthering Heights that Bella quotes at the end of Eclipse. Please review! Reviews mean so much to me and I try to reply to each one.