Sanity: Chapter Five
Hope you enjoy. Edward is an idiot when it comes to love. L
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I know why god has given me such pain, such punishment as this. I am obviously eternally due to this, not only because of my vampirism, but for not staying away from Bella. It would have been best for her all along if I had stayed away to begin with. I am not that strong, not even close, but then again, nobody is, not even Emmett… Bella was still standing there, pain in her eyes. More than anything, I wish to go back to her, take her into my arms and apologize for everything, my existence, her pain, giving her my love, the danger I put her into by loving…
I realize this would only prolong the agony, but I still want to. My arms and legs are burning to turn back.
I am running now, but it feels as if every step is a mile farther away, each step more pain filled than the last. I hear her footsteps running after me and it takes all of my strength to stop myself from running back to her. I force myself to think about keeping her safe.
It's best for her! I mentally scream at myself. Oh my god. She's yelling for me. Do what's best for her. Don't run back, it would put her in more danger. If you really love her, you'll continue on in this direction. I DO LOVE HER. So, I will save her from me. I WILL. So, onward I run, ignoring Alice's mental plea's.
Edward, this is ridiculous. She cries out in her mind. Edward I didn't even get to say goodbye. She's my closest human friend, and I couldn't even say goodbye. She actually sounds kind of angry. I'm sorry, Edward, but you truly are an idiot. You are definitely a sadist, and definitely a masochist.
I reach our meadow, and I break down. I heave dry vampire sobs, so, loud that Carlisle and everyone hears it. Beneath my pain, I vaguely realize that they are seriously worried and depressed. Why wasn't Jasper taking care of it?
I know Bella will stay safe. She promised she would.I see hear Sam come and help her home, and when she is, I start to run. I don't stop at all until I reach my destination.
Texas.
It's time to start my distractions.
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