IT'S A BIRD! IT'S A PLANE! NO, ITS FAGMAN!! Haha just kidding superman fans. I hate superman but it's cool if you like him. Just please don't sent me links to his shows or I'll cry. Well here is a batman update. Dick is gonna break a few laws in this one. Don't worry nothing that can't be easily fixed by Bruce and his listening ear. I won't spoil it for you though.
Trimacle: Ya, I know, that's why I did it. Did ya see it coming? I sure as hell didn't!
Go-stevie-go: hey stalker, next time leave the car lights off, they were shining through my window while I was typing this chapter! Naw I'm just jokin' with ya! I LUV YA HONEY!!
Chapter 3
Bruce and Dick both went to the blood machine. Bruce had yet to think of a name for it. It didn't matter, it was cool and that's what matters! He plugged it back in and looked up the memory. He came across the Jokers profile. "Wow, he must have gotten the wrong sample," said Bruce.
"How," asked Dick confused.
"Well you and the Joker were both bloodied up pretty bad."
"Wow, I don't remember that!"
"How much of that night do you remember?"
"Good point," said Dick, "just the part were I fell through the skylight." Bruce just smirked at his young protégé. Dick gave him a shy smile. They looked up his DNA and the profile popped up. What appeared shocked them both. The Joker and Dick's profile stood side by side with the similar DNA strand. Dick didn't want to believe it! He had a father and it WASN'T the Joker. Bruce didn't want to believe it either. His protégé who he loved like a son was his arch nemesis's son (that's fun to say…SAY IT! Arch nemesis's son). He shook his head. No, Dick was NOT the Joker, he was a great person. Then again…now that he thought about it….they did have a bit in common.
The eyes were similar before Joker fell into the toxic waist. The skin color use to be similar, and the hair color was to. But Dick was nothing like the Joker…that didn't mean anything though.
Dick was wondering how this could be true. They didn't even LOOK the same. Then again, he had never seen the Joker before the crazy make up and creepy Steven King clown persona. He felt his knees give away and fell on his butt. Bruce had a pretty good idea what the sixteen year old was thinking.
"Dick, there is probably a malfunction in the machine, a mistake." Of course Bruce didn't really believe what he himself was saying.
"How does something like this happen?"
"I'm sure that if we took you both to a real hospital we could get this all straitened out."
"Why didn't Alfred tell me?"
"There is a logical explanation."
"Why didn't my mother tell me?"
"Look Dick maybe your blood mixed with his!"
"What do I do now? I now feel like a traitor playing on the good guys side but I don't have the heart to be a villain."
"Well, no, DNA strands don't mix with each other."
"Why didn't the Joker tell me?"
"There has to be some way to tell if this thing is broken! Damn! Why didn't I get a button that would tell me if it was broken or not!?"
"What if Joker doesn't know?"
"Dick your rambling," said Bruce not realizing he was also rambling.
"I need to go for a walk," he said with his hand on his head.
"Wait, Dick, don't go anywhere."
"I'll be back before it's to late I promise," he said staggering out the door.
"No, Dick, I don't think it is good for you to go out tonight. Matter of fact, I think your to distracted to fight any crime either, just….you need sleep."
"I need fresh air…" he left the house ignoring Bruce's pleads to stay. Bruce just sighed and went to look for Alfred for answers.
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"It is true master Bruce," said Alfred sadly, "I hunted down his last living relative and heard the whole story."
"Well they were lying," said Bruce.
"No, master Bruce, I can spot a lie on anyone, you know that." Bruce sighed in defeat. He did know that and that is what killed him.
"Why didn't you tell us?"
"I feared that the boy would forget that he had a father who was a good man, and the Joker was not his father."
"But the Joker-"
"Did not raise him." Bruce was taken aback. "You see master Bruce, a father is more then just someone who helps make you, he is the man who raised you. The Joker may have impregnated his mother, but he did not RAISE him. His mothers husband raised him into the young man his is today…and so did you. I did not tell you to for fear of Dick's well being and for fear of you rejecting the boy you could call not just a partner or a friend…but possibly a son." Bruce had not looked at it that way. Alfred was right. But convincing him was not the trick, it was Dick, he was a mess and out late at night for fresh air.
"Where is master Dick," asked Alfred.
"Went out for air," said Bruce.
"At 10 pm," asked Alfred doubtfully.
"Yea, he said….." Bruce suddenly realized how ridiculous it was to go out for a walk so close to midnight. Alfred shook his head as Bruce ran out to look for his sidekick.
"Intellegent man...not very smart at times though."
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It took Bruce almost an hour before he found Dick. He was leaned against a wall in the alley way drunk off his ass. Bruce grabbed Dick and slung his arm over his broad shoulders. Normally he would have disapproved of Dick drinking underage and being out and about way passed curfew but the circumstances were different tonight. He walked the silent teen home and set him by the toilette just incase he had to throw up.
"You okay Dick," he asked.
"No," he grumbled, "my whole life is a lie."
"No it isn't," said Bruce trying to be understand, "just a few missing pieces is all."
"The man I thought was my father never told me he wasn't my father."
"He was your father though, so you weren't related by blood, who cares!? He cared about you and that is what's important."
"Maybe I should go out and become the next Joker," said Dick with a laugh.
"Maybe you shouldn't. Drinking underage and driving around on that motorcycle passed curfew is enough laws for one night."
"I could be GIGGLES!! HAHAHAHA," he began to laugh so hard he couldn't breath.
"Okay, I think you need to go to bed."
"Getofame," he said really low, "I donts needs no sleep popeye!"
"Who?"
"Waldo!"
"What?"
"YATZEE!" He began laughing furiously again, "I WIN GO FISH!"
"You don't even know what your talking about anymore Dick."
"No, you're the dick! You lied to me to! How long have you know!?"
"Known what?"
"Don't play stupid with me Brucy boy," he said angrily swaggering up, "you could have told me that Panda Bears were not bears! How could you let me go on thinking they were bears! Their cats and bats aren't rats they are mammals!" Bruce had no idea what poor Dick was talking about. Suddenly he popped off of the ground with a determand look on his face. "I'm going to tell him," he said with a slur.
"Tell who what?"
"The Joker. I had to live a lie for sixteen years and so has he. No point in making him still believe it if he doesn't have to. I'm going to tell him who I am and that Panda's are NOT bears!"
"Look, Dick, I Know your wasted, having identity crisis, and I'm happy that you learned Panda's are cats and all but the Joker has no idea who you even are. Do you really think he will believe you or even care for that matter."
"I have to try! It's the only way! While I'm at it I'm going to tell him who I am and who you are!"
"NO! Absolutely not! If he knows who Batman and Robin are he will kill us in our SLEEP!"
"Batman and Robin? Man I was talking about how I've been living with you sense I was nine." Bruce blushed a bit. That wasn't what he thought Dick meant. "You sure you're okay to be chasing after me?"
"Let's just go to bed Dick."
"NO! I'm not tired and I'm more awake then I have been in a really long time! You are just trying to hold me down because you think I'm not shober enough to drive! Well, Brucy, your wrong! R-O-N-M-N-O-P the ABC's!"
"Dick your not making any sense." Dick put his hand up in a way a preacher would when praising and preaching and very dramatically said.
"Say what you must my dear Brucy! Greyson is OUT!" And he fell backwards and flat on the bathroom floor. Bruce just shook his head. Note to self. Dick and alcohol do not mix.
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This was a fun chapter to write. Hope you guys enjoyed it.