Yay! Update! This will be a most triumphant chapter with plenty of giggles to satisfy. Haha sorry I'm watching Bill and Ted's most excellent adventure. So here is your chapter hope you enjoy.
Chapter 6
Penguin, Ivy, Catwoman, and Riddler were all four so close to being free. They were in a strait line in the air vents. Riddler in the lead and Penguin in the back the two women were in the middle. Catwoman felt something brush against her and felt her cheeks go bright red. "Hey pervert! Hands off!"
"I didn't touch you ya little minx," snapped Penguin.
"Then what was that? Riddler grabbing me from up front," she asked sarcastically.
"Hey I wouldn't touch you if you were the last pussy cat on earth. Sorry but I don't go for bat leftovers!"
"What was that," she said with her voice now rising.
"You heard me," he said also raising his voice.
"Both of you knock it off," said Ivy.
"Yea, you're going to get us all caught," agreed Riddler, "assuming they haven't already heard you that is."
"Let's keep it moving then," said Penguin impatiently. They continued to crawl on to freedom. When they reached an exit Riddler pushed open the exit but it wouldn't budge. Ivy, Catwoman, and Penguin helped him shove. It began to creep open as the screws popped out one at a time when finally BANG!
They all fell to the ground piling on each other. Riddler whimpered in pain as he was at the bottom of the villain pile.
"Get off of me you big freak," snarled Catwoman. Penguin struggled to his feet and grabbed Catwoman by the arm and jerked her up. Ivy pulled herself off and watched Catwoman shove Penguin. He returned the shove and she knocked him to the ground.
Riddler pulled himself up next to Ivy and gasped for air. He watched as the childish super villains bickered and shoved each other. "If you guys don't stop I am leaving you here for the guards," whispered Riddler. They both stopped and gave each other nasty looks and followed. He led them through the woods and into the getaway car driven by a man with clown make up.
……………………………………………..
"I put it on the sports channel and you change it! You stupid bitch," Mr. Napier shouted at his wife. He flew his fist across her already beaten face. She cried out as she fell to the ground. Jack stood in the door way. A young eight year old child watching his father beat his poor broken mother.
"I'm sorry," she said with the tears falling from her face. Jack felt the pain in his heart begin to grow. It wasn't his mother who had changed the channel, it was him, he wanted to watch cartoons and forgot to switch it back. Yet here she was, taking the blame to protect him, and he was letting it happen. He summoned his courage and walked into the room and saw his father kick his mother repeatedly in the ribs.
"She didn't do it," he said with a shaky voice.
"Jack," she said, "get out. Go to your room please!"
"It was me," he said. His father turned on him. His eyes full of fury and his breath stinking of whisky. He had been drinking again. No surprise.
Joker woke up from his nightmare. Memories he would rather not remember. He felt his heart pounding and his eyes with water in them. He fought the feelings back to make himself dead inside again. He looked around and saw Harley asleep on the couch. He looked down at his plans. The Smiling Parana plan (haha sound familiar?) he had been working on. He was going to give them some of his joker gas to make them smile so Batman would see their hungry smiles in his final moments. He rubbed his eyes. He worked himself to sleep.
He walked over to her and saw that she still had that woman's picture in her hands. Why? He had no idea but he knew better then to question things she did. He feared he would get an answer. He then saw that in the other hand was a newspaper clipping she probably dug out as well. He took it and saw it was the Flying Grayson's. He smirked. He remembered her now. Pretty little thing who was going to marry that Grayson guy. Yea, he knew just who he was to. The two had been fighting over her for a long time and she wasn't so sure she was marrying the right guy for her. A night together with a bit to much drinking then she up and left the next morning.
He reread the article, it had been a really long time sense he had seen it. Newly weds pregnant with baby. Suspicion it wasn't Grayson's baby. Joker laughed silently to himself so as not to wake Harley. Who else would the child belong to? Stupid ignorant man he was, not that daft, at least Joker didn't think he was. He shrugged and put the article back in Harley's hand. Well, she had a kid, good for her. The memory that the Grayson's had died in a horrible circus accident had come back to him. He saw it on the news and everything. Wasn't that kid staying with someone famous now? Oh right, Bruce Wane.
Joker kicked back on the couch across from Harley. He would have gone back to sleep but he feared having another nightmare or finishing the one he was having. Speaking of Bruce Wane, Joker was rather board, and he was a rather wealthy man. He smiled and got up then looked at the clock. It was 3 am, Bruce would probably be asleep right now, good as time as any to rob him without getting caught and if he did get caught, well he and Harley could recruit some more super villains. He walked over to wake Harley up.
"Wake up my sweet," he whispered in her ear. She gave a cute little yawn and her eyes fluttered open.
"What's goin' on Puddin'," she asked. Joker smiled.
"I can't sleep and I am in the mood for a little fun." Harley smiled back and crawled up. She shoved the picture and news article in her pocket when Joker turned his back. A purple car pulled up in the gas station and four escapees came out. He walked out with a smile on his face. "Hey chums, were going on a midnight heist."
"No plans," asked Catwoman lifting an eyebrow.
"Nope, we're going to wing it tonight. With Bruce Wane."
……………………………..
Batman and Robin stood in the Arkham Asylum with Commissioner Gordon looking at the air vent that had been screwed open by a spork.
"This is why the Riddler went down so easily," said Batman, "Riddler is just a recruiter."
"You think they are trying to break everyone out," asked Robin.
"No, only the people they find useful. Catwoman, Harley, and Ivy have stealth. Harley and Ivy had proven in the past that they work very well together. Riddler is obviously sneaky."
"And Penguin? What use is he to Joker?"
"He is very dedicated. Once he finds a cause he sticks to it and refuses to let it go. He is also a very practical man who can find a cheap simple answer to almost anything."
"Wow, so he is around
to save a few bucks. Guess that means the Joker is running out of
money."
"How is he running out if he is robbing banks?"
"Maybe he owns someone money," suggest Gordon.
"Or maybe it's bail money," said Batman, "incase someone important gets locked up."
"Maybe," said Gordon, "but how will we know for sure?"
"We wont, not until someone else gets caught," said Robin, "but we can't just let them rob the city blind,"
"It's hard to rob a city with no money, isn't it," suggested Gordon. Batman thought about it. That was very true, it's hard to steal money when there is no money to steal. That didn't explain why he needed free villain service though.
"What do they all have in common," asked Batman with a new idea. Gordon and Robin exchanged looks. They just shrugged there shoulders. Non of these villains really had anything in common. "There ego," he said, "this plan is going to explode in Jokers face because you can't lead a group of leaders. They are all going to want control."
"Well, that is true," said Gordon, "you suggest we just let them destroy each other from the inside out?"
"Exaclty," said Batman.
"What about he robberies," asked Robin.
"We chase after them like usual but we can't lock them up here. We may have to let them go."
"Right, we will have all the banks send there money to banks out of town, let them get away and eventually split up, then lock them all back up," said Gordon summing it all up.
Batman and Robin both left making Gordon feel like he was just talking to himself. He sighed, he hated it when they did that. He shared his plans with the others.
……………………………..
The clown parked the car in the back and the villains climbed out and broke into Bruce's mansion. Catwoman and Ivy took the first floor, Harley and Joker took the second, and Penguin and Riddler took the third. Taking anything and everything that looked valuable the all finally took the fourth floor. There was a machine sitting one room that looked rather expensive.
"What is it," asked Penguin.
"Not sure," said Joker, "let's plug it in and check it out." He plugged it in and a screen popped up. The six looked over the screen and saw that it said 'eject DNA'. They all exchanged looks.
"Put it in Riddler," said Ivy.
"You're nuts," he said, "you put yours in Selina."
"Why make Harley do it."
"No way! I'm a doctor not a subject. Puddin' why don't you put your DNA in?"
"Because it is obviously a trap!"
"Oh come on Joker, what are you afraid of, that we just might find out your real identity," asked Riddler.
"Hey wait," said
Penguin, "why is it that none of our names are secrets but yours
is? I want to know."
"Yea," said Catwoman, "I want to
know who you are to."
"No way! It isn't my fault your identities have all be reviled. I used several alliances before my tragic accident so as to hide who I was! Not my fault none of you thought of that!" Riddler and Penguin exchanged looks. They looked at Joker and smiled. Joker gulped. Next thing he knew he had penguin sitting on in and Riddler holding Harley back form stopping them and tell them to stop picking on him and Ivy puling a hair out of Jokers head. She put it on the tablet and into the computer. Penguin got off of him and Joker went insane with rage. He plummeted Riddler and Harley jumped on Penguin from behind and proceeded to bang him on the head with her little pop gun. Ivy tried to pull Harley off of Penguin and Catwoman was trying to separate Joker and Riddler before Joker killed him. A beeping noise and Catwoman looked over to see the screen popped up with Jack Napier's name and another name.
"Hey look," she said getting everyone's attention. They stopped mid fight and looked at the screen.
Jack "the Joker" Napier
Height: 6'5
Eyes: black
Profession: Criminal Nutcase
"Criminal Nutcase," growled Joker offended by the title.
Parents: Mr. and Ms. Napier (do we know there actual names?)
Parnter and/or Spouce: Dr. Harleen Quinnzel
"Spouce? Oh Joker let's get married Puddin'," said Harley in delight. She had a dreamy look on her face and Joker just rolled his eyes.
Children: Dick Grayson
Joker's jaw dropped. Harley' s dreamy look was shattered to shock. Penguin look curious. Ivy looked at Joker in confusion. Riddler didn't know if he should laugh or keep quite. Catwoman put her hands on her hips. When was Bruce going to tell her about THIS!
………………………………
Batman and Robin got home about 2:30 and saw that the alarm had been tripped. Someone had broken in about 15 minutes ago. Bruce pulled his watch out and called up Alfred.
"Alfred where are you," he asked.
"I'm in the kitchen having a late night snack, is something wrong?"
"Yea, someone has broken in. Probably while you were asleep."
"Oh dear, should I called the police?"
"Let me check out who it is first," he said. He cut the connection and nodded at Robin. He nodded back and followed his guardian closely. They walked up the stares to the last floor and saw the six runaway villains look at a screen. Some humored, some shocked, and the Joker absolutely horrified. They took a step back. Bruce had accidently stepped on Isis, Catwoman's cat (why is the cat there? Because I said he was!) causing it to scream out. Everyone turned around and looked at the owner of the house. They began to advance on the owner and the boy when sirens were heard outside. They scampered different directions. Harley, Ivy, and Catwoman had shoved Bruce out of the way and ran downstares and out the back door ignoring Alfred standing there eating a sandwich.
Penguin jumped out the window with his umbrella and flew across the sky. Riddler threw a smoke bomb on the ground and disappeared, really following the girls to get out.
Joker pulled a peace of paper out of the printer and jumped after Penguin grabbing hold of his shoe and flying across the city sky.
……………………………………………………..
Well I know it's been a while sense I updated but there it is. Hope you liked it.
Next time Joker uses his new discovery to his advantage.