Okay a new update! I finally had time to update on some of my stuff so here it is kids! Hope you like.
Go-steve-go: yea, they're awesome….
Chapter 7
Joker paced back and forth, how could this be? How could this happen, when did this happen? Could it be wrong? Yes, that is it, a mistake, it had to be, but how to be sure…
He sat back down to his spot and picked up the dice. He rolled it…arg!! Not an even number! He should have used his get out of jail free card! He just didn't think giving up the two hundred dollars to pass go was worth it! He put his face in his hands and waited as Ivy rolled the dice. She cheered as she moved the little iron forward and bought more property. Now he remembered why he hated play this game with her.
"Maybe you should be more worried about this Dick Grayson kid and less worried about that game," said Catwoman.
"Look, it's a hoax, its obvious. I never had any kids," insisted the Joker.
"Well how do you know," asked Riddler, "that machine new everything else."
"Only one way to find out," said Panguin giving the property to Ivy and picking up the dice, "you will have to get a DNA test done." He moved his little car forward to the railroad and bought it.
"Not a bad idea, just one problem," said Joker deciding to use his get out of jail free card, "if he really is my son then kidnapping him would be a good way to loose him." He rolled the dice and moved his little dog forward buying the land his piece was on.
"Why would you want him," asked Harley watching the game intently hoping that her Puddin' would win.
"Think how helpful the acrobatic little welp could be Harley," he said patiently. If there was one thing he gained from Harley it was what little patience he now had. Before her stupidity would send him after her with a trigger happy finger. Now after being with her for some time he had grown accustome to her dumbness.
"But what if he doesn't want to," she asked. Joker was stumped there. She may have been dumb as a Barbie doll (I don't own) and simple as an empty box but she had a few very good points…mind you only a few.
"Good question kid, he will do it because I tell him to."
"Honestly, Joker, did you ever listen to YOUR parents as a kid," asked Ivy. Joker didn't answer but jumped up in glee as Ivy landed her little iron on his property.
"My boardwalk! Pay up Ivy!" Ivy just humphed and gave him the pink fifties.
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Turns out that even thought they were a band of brilliant supervillans the only thing anyone could think up was to break in and either kidnap Dick Grayson or somehow get his DNA. It also turns out that it wasn't really that hard. As Dick fired up his motorcycle engine he shot out the gates. Joker and Riddler both stood at the gates, shovel in hands, waiting to knock him right in the face, then kidnap him. But when he came zooming by his bike hit a tree root that had grown a little through the road and he did a miraculous summersault through the air and landed on the ground being knocked out.
Riddler and Joker exchanged looks of shock then looked down at Dick. The irony of it! And Ivy wasn't even present at the time! They collected the DNA sample and took it back with them to the secret 'liar' at the broken down gas station.
"Didja get it," asked Harley happy to see Joker.
"Sure did pumpkin," he said holding up the hair in a small bag.
"Great, now lets put it in the old DNA machine!"
"Where did that come from," asked Riddler.
"My old lab," said Ivy, "I usually use it for plants but it works just as well for human DNA. Let's check it out shall we. Joker we will need some of your own DNA." Joker plucked a hair out and gave it to Ivy. She put both strands through he computer and just nodded. "Sure enough, Dick Grayson is your kid Joker. Congrats."
"Your kidding," asked Harley totally crushed.
"Nope, sorry Harley, but it's a match." Harley gave a sigh of unhappiness. She turned to Joker and could see the wheels turning in his head.
"Don't worry kiddo," he said, "the only thing this really changes is we have a new addition to our little family." He laughed in an evil sort of way. Oh was this going to be ever so fun!
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"Hello," said Alfred answering the phone.
"Hey, is Brucy in," came the overjoyed voice of the Joker.
"I'm sorry I think you have the wrong number," said Alfred.
"Oh I think not. Just tell him I will see him in court about MY son! Tootles!" That wicked laughter was heard and then the dial tone. Alfred stood in shock with the phone to his ear. The phone slipped out of his hand but it did not move. Bruce walked in with Dick slung over his shoulder and saw Alfred standing there with his hand to his ear.
"Um…Alfred," he asked. Alfred slowly turned his head to Bruce, "um, looks like dick had a biking accident I'm going to take him upstairs…are you okay?"
"Master Bruce, we have a very big problem."
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"Granted," said the Judge. He really didn't want to do this but law was law. The joker had a big smile on his pale face, Bruce was absolutely shocked, Alfred was close to devastated, and Dick was too surprised for words. How could this have happened? How could the court just give him over to a crazy man? It was asked how Joke got a hold of the DNA in the first place but of course no one could prove Joke actually did anything illegal sense his escape. But you can't really arrest him while he was in court. Joker grabbed Dick by the arm and ran out of the court room and jumped into his getaway car droven by Harley.
The police chased after them for a while but eventually Harley lost them. Dick was pale with fright from the life threatening ride with Harley. She was a brilliant doctor, but a really bad driver. Joker just laughed Dick's dismay (say that five times fast). As he jumpt out of the car so did Harley. Joker opened the door for Dick in a mocking manner. Dick got out and Joker slung his arm around Dick's shoulders. "Let me show you around," he said. He led Dick inside and shoved him through the door. "Welcome to Home sweet Hell! This is Harley Quinn, as you know. The temporary roomies are Poison Ivy, Catwoman, Riddler, and Penguin. Everyone meet my son Dick Grayson!"
The smiles and chuckles and waves were enough to unhinge Dick. He helped put all these villains behind bars at Arkham, and non of them knew it.
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Next time:
Joker and the gang notice something rather odd about Robin now a days…he is missing!