Lucky you: Two chapters in one day! Does this indicate anything about my boredom level? Yeah, thought so. I have through chapter twenty two done, and I'm almost finished with twenty three, so I figure why not post more? I'm aiming to be finished completely by the end of 2008, so yeah. We'll see how it goes!

Enjoy!

Chapter Eleven

"Lory," I groaned later that evening, after the Feast, as we got ready for bed. "He told me that he loved me."

"And?" my friend answered, as if boys told me they loved me on a daily basis.

"Well, he used the 'L' word, for one. And two, he seemed completely serious."

"How did you react?" she asked, still seemingly unconcerned.

"I told him he didn't. And he left."

Her eyes fixed on me disbelievingly. "You what?"

"I-"

"No, I heard you," she cut me off, and then sighed. "Oh, Alecto."

Scowling, I questioned, "Well, what would you have done?"

"Taken what I could get. For all you know, he was telling the truth. Sure seems like it, anyway," Lorraine answered. "You probably just rejected the person who'd like to be with you the most. And, judging by the way you act around him, the one you want the most, as well."

"What do you mean? Antonin and I have never been anything but friends."

"Right," she replied sarcastically. "I've spent the last five years with you two. I should know, Alecto. You're in denial."

"No, I'm not!" I protested. "I want nothing more than for him to love me."

"Then accept the fact that he does," she instructed simply.

"But I don't know if he does, Lory. I want to trust him, but I can't."

"Don't worry. I've got a plan. Now shut up so I can sleep."

---

Lorraine's plan, by the end of the week, was still not apparent to me. At least, not until the night that she shoved me behind a tapestry in the Common Room and whispered fiercely, "Wait here and shut up!"

I did as I was bid, mostly because she was known to get touchy when she didn't get her way. It didn't even occur to me that this was part of her plan until I heard her sultry, flirtatious voice that she only put on right before she convinced a guy to take her back to his dormitory.

"Hey, Antonin."

There was a second of silence; I wondered if he was ignoring her. The tapestry was so thick and dusty it was all I could do to keep from sneezing, and it was rather difficult to tell what was going on while trying to focus on keeping quiet.

"Hi," I finally heard a very hollow voice say. Could that really be the smooth, self-assured Antonin I'd always known?

"What are you doing?" I could have gagged. She was practically purring.

"Walking, until you got in my way," he answered in the same dead tone.

"Oh? Well you know... Most guys don't really mind when I, er, get in their way," came her same convincingly slutty voice. In my mind, I was imagining her hanging all over him, and again I felt like vomiting.

"Lorraine, I'm really not in the mood," he snapped, suddenly a lot more clearly. "Stay away from me."

I heard his footsteps, and wondered what good that had done, when she called, "Antonin... is this about Alecto?"

The steps stopped. Finally, softly, I heard, "Yes."

"And I'm guessing you're not sleeping with me for as long as she's around?" I realised that she was, cleverly, playing it off like I couldn't hear anything, and that she was genuinely interested in him.

"I'm not sleeping with anyone," he informed her. "She... Well, never mind." The footsteps commenced, and once they'd faded, I emerged coughing from my hiding place.

"Are you convinced?" she questioned.

"Mostly," I admitted, suddenly wanting very much just to be alone with my thoughts.

---

After a few days, in which I formulated how to go about rectifying the situation, I decided that it was time I addressed Antonin- and all of my fears. Even then, I wasn't sure what I was afraid of; it wasn't as if rejection was uncommon to me, and it seemed unlikely that I would have to face it, anyway. Perhaps it was just the image of a "proper Antonin girlfriend" that I didn't feel I could measure up to. Regardless, I was very, very nervous about confronting him.

Finally, I was able to put that aside and write him an owl in order that we might meet in private. I didn't feel that my love life, or whatever this counted as, needed an audience.

Antonin,

Meet me at 9 PM in the Forbidden Tower. I need to talk to you very badly.

Alecto

It seemed wrong, like the words were too forced, but I'd already sent the owl swooping down the breakfast table toward him. As I watched him open the note, I noticed how awful (well, comparatively) he really looked. It seemed as if he'd been neglecting sleep, and the unruliness of his hair looked less purposeful. And, try as he might to make normal conversation, it seemed he could only stand to say a few words at a time before he lost interest in what the people around him were saying.

His eyes scanned the parchment once, twice, then he glanced down the table at me. I smiled in the most convincing manner I knew how, and he shrugged.

Deciding to take that as a yes before he changed his mind, I slipped out of the Great Hall, feeling his eyes trailing after me the whole way.

---

The Forbidden Tower was spooky, even in daylight, so the fact that it was 9 PM wasn't exactly helping the atmosphere as I waited for Antonin to come meet me. I'd only chosen this place because I knew no one else would venture up there, particularly at that time.

9:05 and he still hadn't turned up. My Antonin was never late; had I been wrong to assume he would come? But then, silent as a shadow, he emerged from the dark stairwell. In the faint beam of light coming from my wand, he looked like a walking corpse.

"You need something?" he queried coolly, his gaze an inquiring one. He didn't seem terribly peeved, though. More like weary.

"Yeah," I answered, then pressed my lips together. What was I supposed to say?

He took another step toward me, his eyes dark and searching. "What is it, Ally?"

It shattered me how concerned he could seem even when he thought his love was unrequited. "I... I just..."

"I didn't mean it," he interjected. "What I said on the train. It was childish for me to even think that. You were right. I can't possibly know how to love." There was a half-crazed gleam in the way he was looking at me, as if he was the most desperate man alive and only I could feed his desire.

"But Antonin," I protested softly, moving toward him automatically. "I think you do."

His brow furrowed; I was pretty sure I'd caught him off guard for once. "You think I do what?"

"Know how to love. Or at least, I should hope you do." My words were surprising me. Had I read this in a romance novel?

"What?" Apparently he was as surprised as I was.

"I mean," I continued, not knowing where in the recesses of my mind I was pulling this all from, "It would be a sad world in which you were incapable of returning all the feelings I have for you."

His jaw clenched. "Ally, I don't want your pity."

"It's not pity, Antonin. It's the most real thing in the world." I was moving ever closer; I reached out and touched his hand, which wrapped around mine as though it were instinct.

"Ally..."

"I love you," I stated before he could go on with whatever stupid thought he'd been trying to finish.

For a second, it was as if he'd gone numb. His expression was completely blank, the hand grasping mine had let go and fallen limply to his side.

Then, slowly, a smile crept across his mouth. He reached, in a fluid motion, behind my head, tilting it back so that when his lips found mine, everything about it was perfect. There was no question in my mind- we just belonged that way.

"Say that again," came the whisper in my ear. My eyes were closed, and I hadn't even noticed when he'd stopped kissing me. I was too warm, too happy, to register very much at the moment.

But I knew what he wanted, and was all too willing to oblige. "I love you, Antonin Dolohov. I love you."

Even Veritaserum couldn't have produced a truer confession.

"I've been waiting so long to hear that," he whispered, his breath hot against the side of my face. He pressed a kiss against my cheek, and I could feel him smiling.

I was fairly sure that no matter how many girls he had been with, they'd never seen him hold a smile for more than a second, if at all. And now he'd gone well over a minute, and I was sure the expression hadn't faded in its rare, astonishingly gorgeous radiance.

"I never knew," I whispered, and suddenly almost wanted to cry. Whether of joy or regret, or some twisted combination, I was unsure.

"You couldn't have, love. It's alright." He was stroking my hair, gentle in every way. I'd never seen Antonin as gentle before, it had always been more of a smooth sort of forcefulness. I liked this tenderness much more.

Though, at the same time, it only made me blame myself to a yet higher degree. If I was the only one capable of coaxing the kindness out of his black soul, why had I not realised it sooner? Why was I so eager to believe the worst of him? "I'm sorry," I managed.

I say 'managed' because in the next second, his warm, sweet mouth had captured mine again, and I was quite incapable of speech, even if I'd wanted to say something. My mind became a million colors at once, and I wasn't sure if my eyes were opened or shut or if it even mattered.

His arms, strong and secure as they'd always looked to be, wrapped around me, pulling me as close as possible without hurting me, and then cradling me against him. The nearness caused my skin to burn, and yet the lustful feeling I'd anticipated never came. Instead, a renewed sense of belonging in his arms swept over me, and I sighed contently as he pulled away.

"Antonin..." But there were no words. He was still smiling.

"You're shaking, Ally," he informed me softly, and I realised that I was. "Are you alright? Cold?" One of his hands moved to check my forehead, I supposed for fever.

"No, no," I insisted. "I'm fine. Just... overwhelmed."

"Do we need to go back to the dungeons?" He was being sweet enough to make me wonder who'd gotten into the Polyjuice Potion, but I knew that no one else in the world would be able to kiss that way.

"No, Antonin," I repeated, not as weakly. "It's just... I didn't expect... that I'd ever be this lucky..."

"If you're lucky, then I must have been raised on nothing but Felix Felicis," Antonin grinned back, but he had let go of me by the end of the statement. "Ally, it's as if everything I'd ever wanted- ever dreamed- has come true right in front of my eyes."

Beaming, I tried to get near to him again, but he wouldn't have it. "Did I do something?" I asked, shocked by his sudden mood change.

For the first time since I'd expressed my love, the smile faded from his face. "No. I did."

I could feel my face contorting to confusion. "What?"

"Ally," he whispered, touching my cheek with a caress so light I barely felt the ghost of his fingers against my skin. "You're so perfect. So pure. But I'm..."

Not about to let him finish that sentence, I interjected, "No. You're wrong. You're perfect, Antonin, more perfect than I could ever hope to be... The only one in the world who I really look at and admire... The only wizard I'll ever want to be close to..." I was well aware I was saying foolish things, but at the moment, they came so naturally it was impossible to hold back.

Looking a tad surprised, he questioned, "Then why do I feel so inferior? I've messed up so much already, Ally. I'm sorry. I'm not worth loving." There was suddenly a masked, guarded sort of countenance on his face, as if he didn't want me to see how much it hurt him to say that.

But I didn't need him to say it. I could feel it, radiating from all the subtleties in him, every tiny nuance of his body language.

And I could also feel my own anger at him saying that. How dare he insult himself in that way? "No," I growled. "You listen to me." My hands, without my conscious decision, had found themselves at either side of his face, directing him to look me in the eye as I spoke. Somehow, that made the words more potent. "You are the single most amazing person I know. And I don't care if you've made one mistake or infinity, I'm going to love you regardless."

Tears I didn't realise I had in my eyes began to fall down my cheeks. He brushed them away with his thumbs, silently, his intense gaze saying more than words ever could.

"Don't make me take advantage of that fact," he half joked, pulling me against himself yet again in a comfortable embrace.

"Mmm," was all that I could return, and we stood like that for a long while. No words were necessary. We were together, and so long as that was true, nothing else mattered.

Eww, sappy, right? Yeah. That's what I said. d: Anyway, don't worry, more angst and drama to come! And a look into the darker nature of both of them. Well, at least, there will be in a few chapters. You'll see. Review please! Maybe I'll get the next chapter up faster that way. (;