Practical Parenting: Baby Blues
by Shamenka
The group of warriors sat, disconsolate, each with a foaming mug of ale before him. They said hardly a word to each other, mostly one word grunts as their eyes randomly met over the rims of their mugs. That small group of warriors were by no means the only such group in the town. Several hundred warriors sat around, swelling the coffers of the local inn keepers. All of them seriously depressed.
"All he does is sit and look at that blasted baby!" One unidentified voice announced.
"Or he coo's at it. I heard him cooing!" A second mutter announced.
"We need ta' get rid of that baby!" A third, more drunken voice offered its solution.
"You wanna' piss him off then? Go right ahead!" The first voice moved from irate to sarcastic.
"Yeah, well, somebody's goin' ta' havta' do somthin' ain't they? I mean, it ain't natural, all this cooing and stuff! He's a bloody War God, not a woman!" The third voice tried to make his case a decisive one. The groans and mutterings of various yesses from his table and those around them showed the feelings amongst the two armies that had thought they would be fighting each other, not sitting drinking with each other while their God played house with a new baby!
"But, how da'ya' get rid of a God?" The second voice asked.
"Ya' need a hero' fur that." Third voice said.
"Last hero I met I killed.. slowly!" Voice one added, laughing, as did his companions.
Into the tableau of annoyance a shout entered and registered, that seemed the answer to all their prayers.
"Hercules!" A whole new voice, and it sounded cheerful, a fact they could forgive, seeing as how it brought such wonderful news with it. A hero, and in this very town, a hero that would, and no doubt could kill a God!
"Hercules?" Voice three asked, a grubby face popped up from the sea of rats tails and nit nests that was the depressed armies. The eyes looked as hopeful as the voice had sounded.
The hero had entered the inn, looking around him at the depressed warriors, seeking one face in particular.
"Iolaus!" Hercules smiled, waved, and crossed to the bar and his friends side. "What is going on in here? I hurried here as soon as I heard about Dornus and Hephenar going to war. What gives?"
"I don't know, none of the warriors are talking to me .. but they're all drinking heavily, muttering darkly, and generally being down right unpleasant!" Iolaus shrugged, eloquently, indicating his confusion.
"You wanna' know what's going on?" The face, body, bad smells and nasty lodgers associated with the third voice got up and crossed over to the two heroes. "Then let me tell ya' what's goin' on. Ares is what's goin' on. Him an' his nephew... Strife." He looked at the shock in the heroes faces.
"But Strife is dead, has been since Callisto killed him." Iolaus tried to laugh off the messy mass of warrior's paranoid ideas. "See, I was there when Strife died. I saw it for myself!"
"Yeah, we know he died, everybody knows he died. The wars that Ares created after that happened bored everyone to tears. But Strife's back and Ares has been sitting with him since his return. Just imagine the wars we can have if Strife is around, distracting him an' all!" The warrior smiled, such a happy smile, got a fresh mug of beer and returned to his table.
"Ares is planing a bigger than ever campaign to celebrate Strife's return." Hercules looked at Iolaus who shrugged. "So, where is Ares?" Hercules demanded of the warrior that had been talking to him.
"Along the street in his temple. Just him and Strife." He looked back to his friends and grinned.
"I'm going to have a word with my brother. And if the world was quieter without Strife around, it can get by without Strife around again!" he turned and stormed out, followed as always by the ever faithful Iolaus.
"Herc, I'd not trust them.. think about this, huh?" Iolaus pleaded.
"Ares has two huge armies sitting around, getting drunk, amalgamating into one enormous army. I'm going to put a stop to this even if it means putting a stop to Strife!" Hercules ran to his brother's temple and smashed the door in.
"ARES!" He screamed. "I want to talk to you, where's Strife?" He shouted, recalling that Strife had killed his wife, his beautiful Serena. Finally he'd get revenge. Strife had been killed by Callisto and no one had had to pay for that crime, so there would no doubt be no come back if he killed Strife this time!
"What?" Ares' quiet voice whispered, quite dangerous in its gentleness. "What do you want with Strife?" Hercules could feel the compulsion to tell the truth as Ares' power hit him. He didn't mind telling Ares the truth, not where it involved his revenge.
"I'm going to kill the snivelling little bastard!" Hercules looked around that main hall. "Strife!" He screamed, and ran through the nearest door.
Iolaus was hot on his heals.
Ares was standing in his private chambers, Strife held close to his body, mind calling on his mother, his brothers and sisters, even his father. Warning all of them that if they allowed Hercules to take the baby Strife from him and kill him, they could kiss any peace good bye... for ever!
Try as he might Ares couldn't get the baby Strife to return to Olympus, he had to have the child's co-operation in moving him, Strife wanted to stay with Ares however. Ares was forced to walk, or run, if he wanted to get away from Hercules. He wrapped an extra blanket around his wriggling nephew and reached for the door, but as he touched the handle to door swung in, almost hitting the baby.
Ready for the worst, Ares relaxed slightly when he came face to face with not Hercules but Iolaus. Iolaus he could kill with impunity.
"Get out of here mortal!" Ares snarled, gathering the baby as close to his chest as he could.
"Look, where is Strife, you gotta get him outta' here before Herc finds him!" Iolaus was being truthful and honest, Ares could read that from him, he simply didn't want his best friend to die at the hands of the Gods.
"Well I'm trying to, so if you get out of our way, Strife and I will get out of here." Ares felt the baby stir, his uncles' worries unsettling him. "Shh, Little Mischief, we'll get outta' here."
Then Iolaus understood, the baby was Strife, and as he had said, those warriors had tried to manipulate Herc into killing a baby. Ares was distracted from his normal wars because he was caring for his returned nephew, his baby nephew. The hunter also knew he had to get between Ares and Hercules and stay there till his friend calmed down.
"We'd better move, Herc'll be here real soon!" He stood away from the door and let the War God follow him out into the corridor. "Hey, welcome back Strife." He peered in the bundle at the settling baby.
"So why are you helping us?" Ares asked his unexpected ally.
"I knew those warriors were up to no good. They told Herc that you and Strife were planing some great campaign." The hunter checked the next room along the corridor and indicated for the God to follow him. "Herc'll calm down quick enough, then I can tell him." He stopped talking and moving for a moment, listening for his fiends movements. He got worried when he heard nothing. "Where is he?" He hissed.
"Right behind you! Where is Strife and why are you helping my brother?" Hercules' voice was deceptively calm. His eyes were showing his shock at his friends actions, helping Ares escape like this.
Iolaus got between his friend and Ares.
"Listen to me, those warriors lied to you okay?" Iolaus held his hands up in a placatory manner.
"What, you mean Strife isn't alive once more?" Herc watched Iolaus' face intently.
"No, well, he is but.." That was enough, the hero wanted his revenge.
"That's all that matters, where is Strife? I'll give him the same chance he gave Serena!"
Ares gathered his bundle closer still, disturbing whatever he carried. A baby cried its distress. Ares lifted the baby to his face and whispered to the frightened child.
"Hush now, you're gonna be fine." Then the God looked at his brother with such utter hate in his eyes. "Touch Strife and this world will never know peace again. You understand me here?" He raised his voice to the heavens as well as his brother. At Hercules' confused look, Iolaus took advantage of the break in his friends action to make a final plea.
"Herc, pal, listen to me, please!" He begged, Hercules turned to look at Iolaus, giving him his whole attention, for the moment. "They did lie, yes, Strife is alive, yes Ares is spending all his time with him. No, Strife is not plotting wars, neither is Ares. See, Strife's a baby, this baby ... after all these years, after all your hard work, do you want to throw it all away and kill another child?"
Hercules was frozen to the spot, looking into his friends eyes, seeing the absolute truth there. Then he looked at Ares, his brother's sleep deprived face, his tired eyes. Finally he looked at the baby Ares was holding close to his heart.
He had wanted to kill a baby? Had actually threatened to kill a baby. Just because a warrior had lied to him. Why? Why did those warriors want to kill Strife?
"Why would they lie then?" He asked.
"What were they doing?" Ares asked in turn. "The warriors. What exactly were they doing?"
"Sitting in an Inn, drinking beer." Hercules mumbled.
"Well they disobeyed me, I told them to go home." Ares told him. Strife cried, hungry, frightened, wet! "Shh my little one, Shh, uncle Hercules won't hurt you, I will kill him for you first!" And Hercules knew that for an absolute fact.
Ares loved the baby in his arms, he would protect him to the very last breath in his body, come what may. Hercules wouldn't stand a chance against that 'father' love.
"Strife is a baby?" Hercules asked, somewhat redundantly, and slowly stepped forward. "No, don't back off, I wouldn't harm a child, you know this to be true!" He reached out, not able to touch Ares or the baby, but connecting with Iolaus instead. "You gotta tell him, he seems to listen to you more than me, I would never hurt another child.." He looked at his life long friend, longing to reach out to that precious little child.
Ares looked into Iolaus' memories, letting the hunter know that he was there, and looked at Hercules' history where Hercules and children were concerned. His own first family.
"He's gonna have to grow up like I did." He told his half brother, risking a half step closer. "One day at a time." Strife still cried, Ares still held him close to his heart. "He needs me." He said calmly.
Hercules and Iolaus both knew that that was true.
The hero, now that he was thinking rather than simply reacting, looked around him at Ares' inner temple rooms. Finally he identified Ares' own room and headed there.
"His things in your room are they?" He asked, entering the room, looking around and spying the pile of baby things in the corner.
Iolaus lead the way into the room, followed by Ares and the baby Strife. Once in that room they found Hercules, wrappings, clothes, and baby bath on its stand waiting for Ares to fill it.
"Let me help, I promise I wont lift a finger to harm him." His face clouded over. "Those warriors however.. they're mine!"
"Oh no, they set you against my Strife, they are mine!" Ares announced, looked at Hercules who numbly nodded. Ares lifted the now naked baby into the now filled bath. "Who's my baby mischief then?" He asked the baby that would eventually grow up to be Strife, God of Mischief.
"He's beautiful.." Hercules whispered, looking over Ares' shoulder. "And I came so close to killing him.." His voice caught in his throat. "If I had...oh Gods..." Hercules dashed away and threw up against Ares' bedroom wall.
The now clean Strife was once more wrapped and dressed, awaiting his next bottle of milk.
"Would you like to feed him?" Ares offered, not too sure if he could trust himself to give up Strife into Hercules' care.
"May I?" Hercules asked,
From his position against the wall Iolaus watched his best friend approach the War God and his baby charge. He noticed Hercules' hands tremble as he reached for Strife.
"Hello, Little Mischief, you are so beautiful, little one. Forgive your stupid uncle for believing those drunken fools. I promise you, little one, that I would never lift a hand against you .. so long as you are a child. Adult Gods are fair game however!" Hercules laughed when he received a giggle for his troubles. He blindly reached for his nephew's bottle and settled down on Ares' bed to feed his nephew.
In their inn, still drinking, still laughing in anticipation of their forth coming war, a large group of warriors looked up into the calm face of their God.
"Run vermin!" Ares commanded. "Which of you fools would set my 'brother' against our nephew?" And as they ran, Ares fired a lightening bolt at each of them... finally knowing which soul he had to tag for Hades' special attention.
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TBC?