Memories of the Heart by Betty Bokor
Sam/Daniel. A mission goes horribly wrong while Sam's life is changed forever. Spoilers: All seasons, including 10 to the end.
Disclaimer: The Stargate original characters belong to MGM/Showtime, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Film Corp. This was written strictly for the purpose of entertainment. No attempt at copyright infringement has been made.

Memories of the Heart

Chapter 2

The night was long, but in many ways it felt not long enough. They spent incredible moments where their only endeavor was to get to know each other's bodies centimeter by centimeter. More time was dedicated to probe, catalog, and practice what to do, where and how to give more pleasure to the other. They knew so many intimate details about their lives, but they were almost completely ignorant about what the other wanted or liked when making love. And love was exactly what they were making. Every touch, every stroke, every movement showed them how their bodies molded perfectly to each other and how their souls connected without even saying a word.

Now and then they spent a few minutes resting, regaining strength, but soon they were back at holding, kissing, caressing, trying to engrave every second in their memories.

Sam was aware that if Daniel was right about his interpretation of the mural symbol –and, more often than not, he was– it meant that his life was in grave danger and that there was a strong chance that she would never see him again. The idea maddened her, especially because she was finally starting to admit that this was the man she needed for the rest of her life, the man she wanted, the man who could truly make her happy. After all, except for this new sexual aspect of their relationship, they already lead the life of a married couple. They spent most of their leisurely time in each other's company; they were confidants; they were their own autonomous support system.

Now they had added the last connection possible between them. And the sex was awesome, with the emphasis in awe, because she had never imagined it would be like that. She had had her fare share of dominant, even rough, lovers. This I-will-not-really-forgo-being-dominant, but-I'm-willing-to-do-whatever-is-necessary-to-make-you-satisfied attitude that Daniel was displaying had her shocked. She was certain that every one of his movements had been thought out beforehand in order to produce a better effect and that he was adapting as he went to make it all perfect for her.

Near dawn, he was lying on his back, slowly regaining his normal breathing rhythm, when a little laugh escaped from Sam, lying against his side.

"What?" he asked looking at her under the brilliant fluorescent light of the base private quarters.

She looked at him with playful eyes and asked, "Do you mind if I turn off the lights now? I know we left them on on purpose and," she rose slightly above his chest, "and I've been thoroughly enjoying the view, but, now that we're resting, it makes me feel very self-conscious." She laughed nervously again and Daniel smiled at her.

He got up carefully untangling himself from her and walked toward the light switch.

"Wait!" Sam said without raising her voice. She was half way sitting on the bed, looking at him.

"What now?" he asked with a tiny smile.

"That's okay; you can turn them off."

He did and she threw herself back onto the bed.

When he got back into it, she whispered, "The landscape was too beautiful. I just wanted one more look before darkness."

He sighed good-humouredly and hugged her. "This is a side of you, Samantha Carter, that I hadn't imagined," he whispered in her ear.

"Well, there are lots of things about you that I hadn't imagined, Dr. Jackson," she said as playfully as him. She kissed him and they went back to lying in each other's arms. They were too exhausted for anything else.

She quietly laughed again.

"Now what? Do you want me to go turn on the lights again? It should be you, to allow me to check out the landscape, too."

"No," she answered as she slowly caressed his chest with her left hand. "There are advantages to the dark. A special awareness of all the tactile details," she added and sighed pleasurably as she kept moving her hand on him.

"So, why the laugh?" he asked again.

She carefully rose over him and said, "It's just kind of weird; don't you think? Lying here naked against each other… I never thought I'd touch you… this way."

"Never?"

Sam put her head back down on his chest and answered, "Well, not exactly never, never," she smiled. "Every time the idea came to my head, I chased it away quickly with an ugh kind of feeling." She waited silently to see what his reaction would be.

"I see," he said with mocked seriousness. "Every time? How many times are we talking about?"

"How many times the idea came to my head or how many I chased it away?"

"You said you chased it every time, so…"

"All right, let me see… At the beginning- no, no, that doesn't count. Well, after that mission- wait, no, that- no, I can't tell you about that… What about if I plead the Fifth on how many? It looks like it was way too many to really-"

"But you always dismissed the idea, right?"

"Sure. Well, mostly, you know, sometimes-"

"And it always made you think ugh or something like that, right?"

She hesitated for a second. "Not exactly always, always. Sometimes I wondered-"

"And now? Do you think it was a mistake?"

There was a new seriousness to his voice that sobered her up very quickly and she stopped the game. "I wouldn't change a second of what happened here tonight." She gently climbed on top of him and laid her head on his shoulder as she spoke. "I wish we could stay like this for the rest of our lives."