Memories of the Heart by Betty Bokor
Sam/Daniel. A mission goes horribly wrong while Sam's life is changed forever. Spoilers: All seasons, including 10 to the end.
Disclaimer: The Stargate original characters belong to MGM/Showtime, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Film Corp. This was written strictly for the purpose of entertainment. No attempt at copyright infringement has been made.
Memories of the Heart
Chapter 3
He tenderly caressed her back and sighed. "I want to tell you something, Sam, but I don't want you to tell me anything now. I'd like you to think about what I'll say while I'm gone and, if I come back from this mission, I'd like to hear your answer. This isn't something I'll say lightly, but I'm afraid that it's somewhat irresponsible for me to do this at this time. I do have doubts about my fate on this trip, but after what happened between us, I'd never forgive myself if I died without saying this."
Sam felt alarmed and all her fears came rushing back, but she understood Daniel too well to say anything to change his mind. She softly said, "Okay," and she waited for his words.
"All right. First, Sam, no matter why you did this or how it happened, this is not a one-night stand for me. I don't do that –unless" he smiled, "drugged or dazed by aliens– and I'd never dare to do that to you. This was very meaningful to me and I didn't go along with it just because my body was asking for it. I did it because I truly thought that it would be as it was. I've always thought that it couldn't be any other way between us if we ever got to this point."
Sam was stunned by the fact that he had given careful consideration to the possibility of having a relationship of this kind with her. She had been completely impulsive the night before and the thought of going further with it had not even crossed her mind before.
"I won't pretend that I'm in a position to ask you to marry me," he continued, and Sam had to make an effort not to choke at that, "but I'd really like the chance to explore this further… when I come back. If you think that it won't work, I'll understand, but, in any case, I don't want you to tell me now. Just think about it. See how you feel about this in another week. Check if you want to repeat this night or more," he chuckled. "I wouldn't mind repeating some right now."
The change of tone from completely serious to playful surprised Sam. However it seemed the only way to change the conversation fast enough to keep her from answering the main question. She understood and she thanked him silently for giving her the chance to think. "I wouldn't either," she said and she kissed him, ending the conversation and taking the last chance of making love with him before he had to get up and leave.
The rest of the morning seemed normal for Sam. Right before the rest of SG-1 left for the Planet Astrada in search of the weapon, she walked to Daniel's office. As usual, he was still getting ready. He had his helmet on and he was fighting with something that would not fit in his backpack.
"Hey," she said as she entered.
He stopped trying to put the object in the pack and looked at her. He smiled and answered, "Hey; how are you doing?"
"Great!" She said cheerfully. "Are you ready?"
"Almost."
Right then Cameron walked by on his way to the gateroom. "Ready, Jackson? Sam," he acknowledged her.
"Hi, Cam. Good luck on the mission. I wish I could go with you," she said.
"Ready," Daniel said as he hung his pack on his back.
"See you at the gate," Cam answered and started walking again.
Daniel approached Sam to go through the door. "See you when I come back," he said and then walked towards the door. A second later he turned around and took her face in his hand. "Damn it, Sam, I love you. I have to tell you in case I don't come back. Do you hear me? I love you." He kissed her briefly and he left running towards the gateroom. By the time she came out of her shock and ran after him, she only got to see him crossing through the shimmering surface of the open gate.
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………...
After one full week in charge of Atlantis, Sam felt somewhat overwhelmed. It was something new, very different from what she was used to doing. Her biggest problem was that she missed her team. All these people were Weir's people and she felt like an outsider. They were all very kind to her, but she could not get rid of the feeling.
From time to time she allowed herself to think about Daniel. She was quite sure that she would answer his question in the affirmative. She did want to try a relationship with him. Marriage was an idea too farfetched at the moment, but she was willing to try the relationship first.
From what she had heard from the S.G.C., SG-1's mission was going well. They had almost reached the point were the weapon was supposed to be and they had not had any negative incidents. She prayed it stayed that way.
On Astrada, Vala was helping Teal'c start a fire. Cameron was securing the artifact that Daniel had unquestionably identified as the weapon they were looking for on the planet. Daniel was in charge of the first shift guarding the camp. Nothing had happened until then that made them feel they were in danger, but Cameron did not want to risk it, especially now that they had achieved their objective.
When dinner was finished, Vala went in search of Daniel to relieve him from his post so that he, too, could eat something. She was not happy when she did not find him where he was supposed to be, but she thought he could have wondered a bit, checking on the edges of the camp. After a ten minute search, she ran back to the others to ask for their help. They spent the whole night searching for Daniel and by morning they still had not found him. There were no traces of him or of anything gone wrong. He had simply vanished.
They decided to walk back toward the gate and ask for help from the base. Once they had delivered the weapon, they could come back with more teams and find Daniel.