Memories of the Heart by Betty Bokor
Sam/Daniel. A mission goes horribly wrong while Sam's life is changed forever. Spoilers: All seasons, including 10 to the end.
Disclaimer: The Stargate original characters belong to MGM/Showtime, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Film Corp. This was written strictly for the purpose of entertainment. No attempt at copyright infringement has been made.
Memories of the Heart
Chapter 6
Roughly six weeks after Daniel's disappearance, the S.G.C. held a memorial service in his honor. Sam used the Intergalactic Gate Bridge to return to Earth and be part of the ceremony. Jack, after complaining unendingly, accepted to give the eulogy. It was short and poignant, as only Jack could do it.
Sam, Teal'c, and Cam stoically received condolences for their fallen friend, while Vala cried as only a widow would.
After the service, Landry offered to take Jack, Sam, and SG-1 to dinner, but Sam politely refused to go. She only had a week before going back to Pegasus and she had plenty to do in that time. Besides, she did not feel like talking about Daniel with her friends. She had closer memories of him this time and she wanted to keep it all for herself.
The first thing Sam did after everyone else was gone was going to Daniel's quarters. She knew how to get in and she also knew that nobody would complain if they found her there.
The bed was made, but everything else seemed to be just the same as the last time she had been there. Daniel's papers were all over the table and the ominous Astradan symbol, encircled in red, looked somberly at her from the walls.
She lay down on the bed. She grabbed a pillow and hugged it, bringing it closer to her face. She wanted to feel anything that could bring Daniel back to her. Maybe the faint traces of his aftershave on the pillow… just as the soft scent of his leather diary had helped her many years ago, another time, when she had also thought he would not come home.
She felt a knot in her throat and had to sit up. No; she was not going to cry. And she was not going to touch anything else in the room. She could not move one thing out of place. All there was left of her night with Daniel were her memories. Nobody else knew about it; there was no document or record to prove it; but every object in that room had been a witness of their love. She wanted to preserve it all the same way. She wanted to be able to come back and feel him there with her.
She got up, locked the room and walked to Landry's office. She wrote him a note requesting that he assigned her Daniel's quarters as hers from now on. She did not say why, but she promised to take care of moving if he allowed her to do it. She was very clear about the fact that she wanted the room untouched. She would take care of it every time she was back from Atlantis.
Then, she went home. By the time she opened her front door, she had still not cried. She remembered how many times she had cried for Daniel before, but this time she was unable to do it.
She walked towards a small table standing close to the door, picked up the mail that had accumulated in a month, and started going through it. The lady she had left in charge of keeping her house in order had sorted the mail for her. Sam separated the pile with bills and discarded all the junk. She was surprised at how little there was left. It was true that she had arranged for most of her bills to be timely paid while she was gone, but, besides the rest of her bills, there was not much more.
First she looked at a letter sent by her sister in law asking her to buy some magazines for her niece's school fundraising. Oh, yeah, she was the perfect aunt for that. She had no kids of her own and she enjoyed participating in the lives of her brother's children in any way she could. She put it apart to remember to mail her selection before going back.
She looked at a couple more letters −nothing important− and then, almost at the end of the stack of letters, she found an envelope from the law offices of Martin & Gerbino. She had never dealt with them, so she felt curious about the contents. She opened it immediately and soon discovered that it was related to Daniel. He had designated her to take care of his estate after his death.
It was surprising, because all the previous times he had died –that sounded so strange– or disappeared, Jack had always been the one in charge of his stuff, but, now, Jack was in Washington and perhaps Daniel had thought it would be easier for her to take care of his things. What really surprised her was that he had not asked her before making it official.
She called the law firm and made an appointment for the next day. She had little time to deal with it, so she should better hurry.
First thing in the morning the following day, Sam went by the S.G.C. She asked to see General Landry to check on his decision over Daniel's quarters. Landry made some small talk, but soon granted her request without even asking one question. Sam was very thankful.
From Landry's office she walked straight to her old quarters and packed the few things she had left there before going to Atlantis. She took the box with her belongings and went back to Daniel's room. There, she found an empty corner in the closet and left her box. She felt much better. She locked the room and left to go see Daniel's attorneys.