Memories of the Heart by Betty Bokor
Sam/Daniel. A mission goes horribly wrong while Sam's life is changed forever. Spoilers: All seasons, including 10 to the end.
Disclaimer: The Stargate original characters belong to MGM/Showtime, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Film Corp. This was written strictly for the purpose of entertainment. No attempt at copyright infringement has been made.

Memories of the Heart

Chapter 9

A.N. Hi. I just wanted to warn you. This chapter has some facts that may offend some readers. If you do not like to talk about anatomy, sex, and anything related to them, steer away from this story. It is definitely not graphic, but this and the following sections will talk about such things. Please, do not complain if you keep reading and then you do not like what you read. On the other hand, if you are enjoying the story, be kind and let me know. Thanks.

As she started to calm down, the idea of Daniel's sperm stored somewhere in a vial suddenly came back to her mind. He was really thinking about having children.

She tried to imagine a baby from Daniel. Danny-boy. Yeah… Jack would be his godfather. Teal'c would be the godfather of the second; maybe little Jacob…

All of a sudden she realized that she had put herself as the mother of Daniel's sons. She looked at her belly. No, no babies there anytime soon. There was no way. The night before he left she was still under the effects of the contraceptives she had to take to avoid further risks when she went out on a mission. The thought of getting pregnant had not even crossed her mind at that time.

Now she was not taking pills anymore, but, now, there was no more Daniel.

She sat up in bed.

Actually, there was Daniel. A part of him, at least. The part that really mattered when thinking about having babies…

No. That was crazy.

She lay down again.

Even if she wanted to do it, there was no time to get all the paperwork done and get the specimens, as Daniel had called them, sent to her before she left.

Perhaps they could send them overnight…

Wow. Was she actually thinking about doing it? She would need a doctor. Her doctor had been Lam for the last years. No; she did not want to talk to Lam about this. Maybe Jennifer… She already knew about Daniel.

Could the vials go through the bridge with her?

Oh, God. She was crazy.

What would Daniel think if he suddenly came back and found her pregnant with his baby? That she had stolen his treasure? Well, she would not use all of it… and he had offered… if she ever wanted it.

Did she really want it? That was what she had to think about first.

A child was a huge responsibility, especially when the mother lived in another galaxy, in a city always at war like Atlantis. But people do not stop having children in times of war… The problem was that if something happened to her, Daniel would not be there either to take care of the child. What would happen then? She did not want to condemn Daniel's baby to an orphan life like the one he had had to suffer.

She looked at the clock on the nightstand. It was not too late. She grabbed the phone and dialed.

"Hello," a male voice answered.

"Hey, Mark, it's Sam."

"Hi, Sammy. How are you doing?"

Sam thanked God that Selmak had promoted a reconciliation between Jacob and Mark, thus bringing her back closer to her brother. "Fine, I guess."

"Doesn't sound too good," Mark said with worry.

"Yeah… Not too good… Listen, I need to talk about something really serious, but I can't fly over there. I have to go back… abroad, very soon."

"And you can't tell me where or why, right?"

"Right."

"Don't worry. I learned not to ask with Dad. What do you want to talk about?"

"Is it a good time? I don't want to interrupt anything."

"This is a great time. I was just reading a book, here, in the studio. Linda and the kids are already in bed. School day and all…"

"Yeah… Well, okay. This is… I don't know how to start."

"Come on, Sammy; it can't be that bad."

"Oh, it's not bad. It's… big. You know I'm going to be forty soon. Lately," −at least for a while today, she thought− "I've thinking about-" She stopped. It was hard.

"Having a baby?" Mark guessed.

Sam was surprised. "Yeah… How did you know?"

"Midlife crisis." The silence at the other end of the line spoke to him. "I mean, Linda and I are there, too. We've been playing around with the idea of having another child before it's too late. We're already over forty."

"And?"

"We don't know yet. We'll see."

"Do you think I'm crazy?"

"No, Sam, no. Are you seeing someone?"

She thought for a second. "Yes."

"Is it serious?"

"It's never been this serious."

"Then…"

"He's missing," Sam said honestly.

"He works with you?"

"Yes."

"Ah… So, how are you thinking…?"

"I have his frozen sperm."

"Holly Hannah!"

"I know."

"Just in case?"

"Something like that. Do you think it would be irresponsible? What I mean is, these days I have a better position, a command, and I'm not in the same kind of danger I was before… but it's still dangerous."

"Well, first congratulations on the command. That's why they made you full colonel? That we knew."

"Yes, basically. Thanks."

"Then, the question is… do you want his baby?

A little sob escaped from Sam. She did not want to cry, but her eyes were suddenly filled with tears.

"You love him very much," Mark said without waiting for her answer.

"I didn't know-"

"Until you lost him. It happens… So, you do want his baby. What's stopping you?"

"What if I disappear somewhere, too, Mark?" she said a little bit calmer. "What if I die? What would happen to the baby?"

"Sam, we would take care of your baby, no questions asked," Mark said firmly.

"What about Linda? A child is so much work."

"You know her, Sam. I don't need to ask. She'd do it gladly."

"I'd provide for everything. I can leave you everything I have."

"Dad and you already gave us enough to send our kids to college. We don't need anything else."

"But you'd have it anyway."

"Sam, stop worrying. If you love that man-"

"Daniel," Sam interrupted.

"Daniel?" Mark asked with curiosity.

"Yes, Daniel."

"Daniel Jackson?"

"Yes… How did you know?"

"I guessed. Dad wrote about him in one of his letters. You know that in the last years he wrote more often than ever before…"

Sam smiled.

"He really liked him. He thought that maybe-"

"Maybe what?"

"Well, it's no secret now if you're dating him. Dad thought that maybe Daniel had feelings for you, that he might have been in love with you. Dad really liked that idea."

"Seriously?"

"I can show you his letter the next time you come by the house." He paused. "I'm sorry that he's missing, Sam. I hope they find him."

"I hope so, too."

"Well, are you going to be a mother?"

Sam took a little while before answering. "I think so… Maybe. There's too much to do before it happens and, I told you, I don't have much time left here."

"I hope you can work it out. Parenthood is something everybody should have the blessing of experiencing."

"Thank you, Mark. You don't know how much this means to me."

"Don't worry about it. Just call me when you have the good news. Or send a smoke signal…"

A few minutes later they hung up. Sam was filled with hope. Now the problem was to make it work.