Unfortunate Circumstances
Fate grimaced and focused his thoughts. Last thing he clearly remembered was drinking with two fine ladies who had been hanging off his arms.
"Fate!"
Gangplank roared again and Fate looked up at him. Fate held up his finger.
"One moment Captain."
Gangplank's eyes widened in fury but Fate ignored it and checked himself.
Hat was on. Check.
Deck of cards in his coat. Check.
Pouch of gold. Gone.
Fate groaned and pinched his nose before speaking to Gangplank.
"Captain you wouldn't happen to know where my female companions went away to?"
Gangplank's furious glare was answer enough but the pirate spoke, his voice rumbling deep within his throat.
"Fate I haven't got time for yer bloody nonsense. Do ye have me money?"
Fate gave Gangplank a quizzical look.
"Your money?"
Gangplank breathed in and out.
"The money ye went and swindled off me yesterday before vanishing! "
Fate clicked his fingers.
"Oh you mean MY money, which I procured off of you and your associates. Well there is short story but how about I tell it from the top. I retrieved my gold from you…"
Gangplank interrupted.
"My gold!"
Fate held up his hands and continued.
"My gold, from you, and then I teleported over here. I spent a short while deciding whether to drink at the Sunken Treasure or the Watery Maiden. Cause yes the Maiden has nicer rum but the Sunken…"
Gangplank slammed his fist on the table making the bottles jump.
"Where's me bloody gold!?"
"Someone stole it."
"I know that. Ye did!"
"No as in someone stole it from me."
The look on Gangplank's face was somewhere between a volcano erupting and a storm tearing a ship apart.
"I should put this bullet through yer pretty face."
Fate pretended to be offended.
"And ruin my hat? I could never let you do that."
Gangplank put his gun away, something which surprised Fate. He then whisked out a pair of handcuffs and before Fate could object he was handcuffed to Gangplank. The Captain sat down beside Fate, calm but with a menacing look in his eyes.
"Just in case you feel like vanishing on me again."
Fate nodded.
"I usually don't whip out the handcuffs till the third date but for you Captain I'm willing to make an exception."
Gangplank had the most unamused look on his face so Fate continued.
"Well Captain, seeing as you have not tried to kill me and you do not want me vanishing. It does not take a fortune teller to see that you want to talk about something."
Gangplank signalled to the tavern keeper to bring over a bottle of rum. He set up two cups and poured the rum out for the pair. Gangplank drank the rum down in a single gulp and poured himself another before Fate had even sipped his. Fate was still recuperating from the previous night and the scent of the rum made him dizzy. Gangplank looked at Fate and broke the silence.
"Yer right gypsy there is something I need to talk to ye about. Ye 're in luck today."
Fate smiled.
"Captain, luck is always on my side."
"And there'll be a knife in yer side if ye don't shut up."
Fate tipped his head in response and Gangplank continued.
"I need ye Fate and yer particular skills. There's an item I need to steal off some people."
Fate felt the need to raise a question so he put his hand up. Gangplank stared, completely unamused by the gypsy's smug antics.
"What?"
"Why do you need me, why don't you just do your pirate thing? You know? Cannonballs and lots of yelling."
Gangplank drank from his cup again and spoke.
"Because if I attacked the people who possessed this item I would be declaring war and I cannot allow Bilgewater to be condemned by the League.
Fate tilted his head.
"My, my Captain. Concerned for the well-being of other people, are you developing a soft spot?"
"One more word Fate and I'll have ye dangling over sharks before ye can shuffle yer cards. Not like ye would understand but I do give a damn about this city and its people."
Fate leaned back in his seat.
"So you need me to be your little errand boy and what exactly would I get out this?"
Gangplank smiled.
"I'm not an idiot Fate; ye take what work you want and no one tells ye otherwise. Unless ye 're willing to take a gamble."
Fate chuckled.
"And what is it you're offering?"
"Evelynn."
Fate heard the name and straightened up. The card he had working the lock on the handcuffs clicked through and the cuffs dropped away. Fate leaned forward on the table, his full attention on Gangplank. Fate's smiling had been replaced by a dark look in his eyes.
"Tell me everything you know Captain."
Gangplank looked at the limp pair of handcuffs; he unlocked them and tossed them aside.
"Well there is something more than gold and the future that can tempt the elusive Twisted Fate."
"Captain you need to tell me what you know about her."
Gangplank had a smile across his face now.
"Not so smug now that I hold all the cards. Ye may be good at conning people but I know how to bargain with a man."
Fate stared Gangplank in the eyes.
"And how would one do that?"
Gangplank leaned forward.
"Ye twist his arm till he doesn't see any other options but the one ye give him."
Fate leaned back from the pirate and took hold of his cup. He suddenly felt the need to have a drink. Fate let the smooth rum slip down his throat as he took in what Gangplank had told him. If it was even true and the Captain really did know something about Evelynn then Fate needed to play along.
Fate looked at the smiling pirate.
"What do you need me to do?"
Gangplank puffed out his chest in boastful victory.
"Me crew and I are setting sail tonight. Be on the ship."
Fate tapped the table repeatedly with a card.
"Details, Captain. I will not sign up for a mission with no knowledge of what I am getting myself in to."
Gangplank stood and took the bottle of rum.
"Take a gamble Fate. We set sail tonight."
Gangplank was ready to leave the tavern when the front door swung open and every pair of eyes fell on the figure that walked in. Every man went numb and a few even let their jaws drop as their gazes took in the flowing body of Miss Fortune. The buxom woman walked forward, her hips swaying to and fro as she strutted over to Fate and Gangplank.
Gangplank's grip on the bottle tightened and he spoke, the pirate's anger once again emerging.
"Fortune. What in seven hells are ye doing here?"
Fortune pulled a chair up and sat down across the table from Fate. Fate was seated with his back slightly to the bounty hunter and he lifted his hat so his eyes met hers. Fortune pursued her lips and spoke softly, keeping eye contact with Fate the whole time.
"My, my Gangplank such a temper. Your heart could give way with that much stress."
The other patrons had returned to their drinks but would frequently glance over at the woman who was leaning forward ever so slightly towards the gypsy, her body becoming more curvaceous the further she extended her pose. Fortune was unsure if Fate was falling for her posture as easily as the idiots in the tavern which didn't surprise her too much but she knew the right words would win the gypsies heart. However Gangplank spoke before Fortune could continue.
"Fortune. Fate and I were enjoying a private discussion. Emphasis on the word private."
Fortune enjoyed the games Fate played with his eyes, how they glinted under the rim of his hat, responding to her own flirtatious gaze. She turned and signalled for a bottle of rum.
"Well I too enjoy the company of Twisted Fate in privacy but it seems today we must share."
Gangplank was using what little restraint he had and spoke.
"Get out."
Fortune replied as soft as before.
"Now, now Gangplank that's no way to speak to a friend is it. I mean I'm sure Fate would love to have me stay."
Gangplank looked down at Fate who slyly looked up to him and then back to Fortune.
"I see no harm in allowing the fine lady to join our company."
Gangplank had no trust for the bounty hunter and wouldn't let Fate fall into her fingers.
"Change of plan Fate, we're setting sail now."
Fortune sat up with these words.
"You two are sailing out together?"
Fate decided to speak for the pair.
"The Captain and I have come to an arrangement."
Fortune looked Fate up and down, she poured a drink and started to sip it.
"You really are a man of mystery. How exciting."
Gangplank scoffed but Fate allowed a smile to creep into his lips.
"Well my dear, the Captain promised me a departure later this evening so it would be a pleasure to clarify some of those mysteries for you."
"Then what are we waiting for?"
Fortune leaned forward and swept her arm round. Her arm hit the bottle next to her and she let out a cry as it fell from the table. Fate flicked a card through the air to Fortune.
Suddenly he vanished and caught the bottle next to Fortune. He then lifted his hand and caught the flying card. Gangplank shook his head at the cheap trick but Fortune looked up at Fate and smiled at his parlour trick. Fate held out the bottle.
"I believe this is yours. So my dear how about you look me up next time I am in the area."
Fortune took the bottle and replied.
"How would I go about doing that?"
Fate grinned.
"My dear I am always close to your heart."
Fortune looked down and saw a card sticking out from the top of her shirt, held by her left breast. She hadn't even noticed the gypsy place it there. She withdrew the card and saw that instead of typical card it simply had the letter 'F' in black. She leaned back in her seat and slipped the card into her boot which she then propped up on the table, flashing her legs and pistols to Fate who was leaning back on the table. Fortune spoke with a more assertive tone suddenly.
"Well Fate how about you and I leave together now."
Fate continued flipping cards over his fingers as he responded.
"Well as the Captain said, he and I really must be going now."
"Actually I can't let you do that."
"I do love a woman with fire in her. But I shall leave you to enjoy your beverage and company. Farewell."
Fortune gripped the gun on her right thigh and whipped it out, pointing it right at Fate's head. Gangplank drew his pistol, aiming it at Fortune who responded by drawing her second pistol and returning Gangplank's aim. Fortune spoke.
"Gangplank this doesn't concern you. And you Fate sit down."
Still with a smug smile on his face Fate spoke.
"So that's a no to the second date?"
Fortune gestured to the seat across from her and Fate sat down in it. Gangplank held his aim and spoke.
"Fortune what's the meaning of this?"
"Like I said Gangplank, this does not concern you."
He clicked the hammer on his pistol back.
"Seeing as ye are drawing a gun on a citizen of me city, then yes it does concern me."
Suddenly there was ferocity in Fortune's eyes that made Gangplank put his other hand on his sword. Her words dripped from her mouth like poison.
"Your city? Since when did the city of Bilgewater belong to the pirate Gangplank?"
"That's Captain Gangplank to ye missy and no this city doesn't belong to me but I stand for all those who live here."
Fortune tilted her at Gangplank.
"You mean you stand for all the pirates who live here, who ruin the lives of the hard working citizens."
Gangplank scowled and roared back.
"Who do ye think pays yer bloody hard working citizens? All those pubs and taverns, all the ship yards, all the weapon masters; who do ye think supports their hard work. Oh that's right, us pirates!"
Fortune looked ready to start firing.
"We can make a living just fine without you lot!"
"This is our home; we aren't going to leave because some loud mouthed princess wants us to!"
Fate had to interject at this point.
"Look guys I'm sure you two are just going through a rough patch, have you thought of seeking couples therapy?"
They both looked at him and spoke together.
"Shut up Fate!"
Fate threw up his arms and spoke.
"Look you two have all the time in the world to bicker about whose ship is biggest. For now I would very much like to know why Miss Fortune wants to kill me."
Fortune rolled her eyes.
"I don't want to kill you Fate. If I had wanted to I would've done so already."
Fate spoke in an evidently condescending tone.
"No doubt my dear."
Fortune clicked the hammer back on the pistol aimed at Fate. He continued with more carefully deliberated words.
"So if it isn't my head you want, why are you here?"
Fortune looked back from man to the other.
"You know for a pair of Champions you're awfully dim."
Gangplank looked ready to explode and Fortune's words weren't helping him calm down. She continued.
"Fate it isn't personal or anything. It's just business."
Gangplank and Fate exchanged a confused glance. Gangplank spoke to Fate.
"Ye have a bounty on yer head?"
Fate looked at Fortune.
"I have a bounty on my head?"
Fortune tipped her head forward and looked at the gypsy.
"You have a bounty on your head."
Fate sat back and smiled.
"I have a bounty on my head."
Gangplank spoke.
"I fail to see how this is a good thing."
Fate gave a wink as he spoke.
"Women love a dangerous man."
Gangplank indicated to Fortune.
"Define love. How many people have ye successfully pissed off in yer illustrious career?"
"Lost count somewhere around Demacia."
Gangplank suddenly smiled which was met by a confused look from Fate. Gangplank turned his head to Fortune.
"So ye don't want to kill Fate?"
Fate arrived at the same conclusion and leaned forward, drawing a card into his fingers.
"You don't want to kill me."
Fortune ran her tongue across her lips and bit the inside of her cheek as she realise the predicament she was in. Gangplank decided to spell it out.
"Now either you've got an ace up your sleeve."
Fate jumped in.
"Down her shirt."
Gangplank continued.
"Or ye 've just walked into a fight ye have no way of winning. So what did ye plan on just walking in and taking Fate?"
Fortune nodded and lifted her guns.
"I am more than capable of handling Fate by myself. I didn't anticipate you being here Gangplank which I admit has thrown a storm into my plans."
Fortune reflected on her situation; she couldn't shoot Fate and the second she shot Gangplank, Fate would cut her down. She placed the guns back in their holsters and assessed the situation.
"Your right about one thing Gangplank. There was no way I could win this fight."
Her emphasis on the word 'I' made Gangplank and Fate give one another a glance. Fortune lifted her fingers to her lips, Fate leaned closer. She blew a sharp whistle and called out.
"Boys!"
Suddenly the tavern burst into a frenzy as half the patrons stood up, brandishing weapons at the pair. Fate stood up and felt his back touch Gangplank's. Gangplank spoke to him.
"Fate this might be a good time to go about performing your vanishing act."
"Yeah about that."
Gangplank suddenly remembered the bottle. He looked at Fortune who was smiling back. He groaned.
"Ye just had to impress her."
"It's the eyes; they got that fire in them I just can't resist."
Fate threw a wink at the bounty hunter who winked back. Gangplank drew his cutlass slowly and aimed his pistol at the advancing mercenaries.
"Her eyes aren't down there ye bloody alley rat."
"I don't understand why you're so upset. I thought you loved a good fight."
"Not when I have to smash up a tavern in me city. Fate I'm trying to lead this people not scare them all half to death."
"You're a pirate!"
"And a Captain!"
Fortune jumped in.
"Fate is right though."
Gangplank glared at her.
"Stay out of this."
Fate spoke to his companion.
"So what you want to fight them all and not smash up this tavern."
"Not even a drop of blood."
Fate spun round.
"How do you propose I do that?"
"Figure it out!"
"Well then that means you can't shoot them right?"
An awkward silence seemed to hit the bar. The mercenaries who had been held at bay by Gangplank's raised weapon started nodding and smiled gummy grins at their targets. Gangplank turned slowly to Fate who just had a smile on his face. Fate spoke with every ounce of smug attitude in him.
"Don't worry Captain; I'm sure you'll figure something out."
Gangplank roared and turned his pistol upwards. Filled with a blank it would still do the job to raise Fate's morale. The gunpowder cracked in the tavern and the room erupted into a brawl. Patrons who were uninvolved in the fight fled to the walls or booths of the tavern. The band didn't miss a beat of their music and Fate prepared himself.
The crack was followed by the sensation of his feet stepping quicker and his arms becoming lighter. Three pirates ran at him with their swords raised and in like response Fate threw three cards. The cards sliced through the swords and disappeared just before hitting the tavern wall. The blades split and fell to the ground leaving the mercenaries standing with just the hilts of their weapons. Fate then used that stunning sensation of power he'd received from Gangplank and with one mighty swing rammed his fist across the jaws of all three men. The force knocked them clean out and sent them spinning to the floor. Fate turned and yelled at Gangplank.
"One stone, thirds birds Captain."
Gangplank replied.
"Shut up Fate or I'll make ye see three birds spinning round yer head."
Gangplank slipped his pistol back into his belt and blocked an incoming attack from a mercenary. He easily swung the suspended swords down to the ground, leaving the mercenary open. Gangplank brought up his fist and socked the man in his bald mug; sending him sprawling across the floor. A mercenary grabbed a bottle off a table, and threw it at Gangplank, as he charged. Gangplank caught the bottle in mid-air and blocked the incoming sword swipe. Gangplank held the swords out to the side and before his attacker could react, Gangplank delivered a mighty head butt knocking the man out. He roared across the tavern.
"Fate hurry up already."
Gangplank then swiftly put the bottle back on a table behind him before attending to another charging mercenary.
Fate replied as quickly as possible.
"I'm a little preoccupied at the moment Captain."
Fate was evading the furious slashing of a mercenary, stepping backwards and sidewards to avoid the sharp sword. Suddenly he heard the footsteps of someone advancing from behind him. Fate turned sideways to see another mercenary running at him. Fate had to make a quick decision and he cursed the Captain's rules. Fate drew a card and threw it up in the air to his left where the slashing mercenary was advancing from. The card hung in the air, long enough for the man to see a golden Ace obscuring his gaze. Fate whipped his hand round and slapped the card across the man's face, locking his body up and leaving him suspended where he stood. Fate then turned to the running man who had raised his axe. Fate simply dropped and twisted his body, sweeping the man's feet out from underneath him. The running man smashed into his stunned friend at full pace, sending the pair tumbling to the floor. Fate saw Fortune still seated at the table and decided to make his way to her; after he dealt with the mercenary coming up on him.
Gangplank was being charged by another mercenary so he grabbed his pistol from his belt and aimed straight at the young boy. The boy halted in his tracks, eyes wide with fear. Gangplank rolled his eyes and flipped the gun so he had a hold of the barrel. Gangplank then flicked his wrist and cracked the gun against the boy's head sending his body to the floor. Gangplank turned to see a large mercenary bring an axe down on top of Gangplank. The Captain easily blocked the attack but was forced backwards onto the tavern counter where the keeper was occupying himself by cleaning mugs. Gangplank felt the weight of the axe bearing down on him. He held back the attack with one hand and quickly used his free hand to reach down and grab his knife. He brought the knife up to his mouth and took a bite out the lime that was skewered on it. He then braced the piece between his teeth and pierced the skin. The juice jumped out and sprayed into the mercenaries eyes who flinched as the citrus stung his eyes. Gangplank took the opportunity and punched the man in the gut, pushed him off and then followed up by punching the man under his chin. The man rocketed back, his feet flipping out from under him. He crashed down onto his back, clearly not getting back up. Gangplank watched as more mercenaries poured in through the front door and he looked round to see if he could find Fate.
Fate slowly walked over to Fortune who was occupying herself by filing her nails. Fate was almost at the table when a mercenary tackled him over to a wall. Fate easily spun him, crashing his head into the wall which knocked him out cold. As the man crashed into the wall he bumped a tavern maiden who had been carrying a tray of mugs and bottles. She shrieked as she fell back and the tray went upwards. Fate stepped over and caught her half way down her descent. He then smoothly caught the tray at arms-length behind him and with neat precision caught each mug and bottle so they landed on their bases. He smiled at the young woman who blushed at the handsome gypsy. He spoke softly.
"I guess it's your lucky day."
He planted a quick kiss on her lips, stood her up and placed the tray in her hand. She batted her eyes at the wide hat as it walked away.
Gangplank saw Fate walking over to Fortune so he started to make his way over, easily dispatching mercenaries in his path. He came alongside the tavern keeper who was taking an order from one of the more brave patrons. Gangplank stopped and spoke to the old man.
"My apologies sir for the disturbance."
The Captain threw out a small pouch of gold and in return the man placed down a bottle of rum. He looked up and spoke warmly.
"Captain no apologies are necessary. Just make sure you knock some sense into whoever you're up against next League match."
Gangplank smiled and took the bottle.
"It would be me pleasure."
He heard a mercenary run at him from behind, yelling at the top of his lungs. Gangplank spun, grabbed the mercenary's sword hand, put his hand behind the mercenary's head and in one motion slammed the charging man into the tavern counter. The keeper then finished the fight by slamming a mug onto the pinned man's head. The man went limp and the keeper pushed off the counter so he fell to the ground with a loud thud. The keeper looked at Gangplank and spoke.
"Don't worry about the patrons you leave behind. If they're not buying, they're not staying. House policy."
Gangplank smiled.
"Now if ye 'll excuse me I have to see a woman about a hat wearing an idiot."
With that the Captain turned to look at Fate and Fortune.
Fate walked across the wooden floor till he almost near Fortune. A mercenary ran at Fate from the side so Fate simply stepped back and stuck out his foot, tripping the man over onto the table. He landed with a crash in front of Fortune and before he could get up Fate twisted his arm behind his back. The man groaned and Fate leaned on him as he talked to Fortune.
"You know my dear your hired muscle seems to be lacking some salt."
Fortune looked at the groaning man.
"Yes it really is so hard to find good help these days."
Fortune sat forward and looked at Fate.
"Fortunately quantity can help compensate for quality, or lack of."
Fate saw that dozens more mercenaries were walking in through the doorway so he returned his gaze to Fortune.
"So that's still a no to the second date?"
Fortune looked up with a smile on her face.
"It's a shame you have a bounty on your head Fate. You've got dangerous eyes… I like that."
"And you haven't enjoyed it in privacy yet."
Fortune pursued her lips and spoke.
"Fate I would rock your world."
"I have no doubt that you would. But my dear I must know, who is it that wants me alive?"
Fortune mulled the request over and replied.
"I'm not sure Fate."
"How mysterious."
"I'm telling the truth. This arrived at my place with a pouch of gems and letter saying 'Alive in Zaun'."
She drew something from her belt. Fate saw it was a playing card, same size and material as his cards. His curiosity became confusion when Fortune turned the card over. On the other side was the letter 'F' in black. Fate spoke.
"That's all you got?"
"Everything Fate."
Gangplank walked up to Fate.
"Fate are we ready to go?"
Fate nodded.
Gangplank looked at Fortune.
"Till next time Fortune."
Fortune looked away.
"Go to hell Gangplank."
Gangplank and Fate saw that the tavern had filled with mercenaries and that most of the unconscious men had recovered. Fate was looking intensely at the card in his hand and Gangplank put a hand on his shoulder.
"What Fate, no witty last words?"
Fate looked at Fortune.
"What can I say, just unfortunate circumstances."
With those last words Fate and Gangplank vanished from the middle of the tavern and mercenaries. Gangplank shook himself and groaned before looking at Fate.
"How do ye ever get used to that?"
Fate smiled.
"What's the matter? Your sea legs not holding up?"
Gangplank shook his head.
"Don't push me Fate. Or I'll try and claim that bounty."
Gangplank looked around to see they were standing on the docks and right in front of him was his pride and joy. The huge ship, with two masts, a beautiful helm and bow, and two rows of cannons, was adorned with a name painted across the side; Dead Pool. Gangplank loved the sight of his ship. He started to walk up to his ship when he saw Fate staring at the card in his hand. Gangplank called out to him.
"Stop wasting me bloody time Fate. It's just another one of yer cards."
Fate joined Gangplank as they boarded the ship. Fate spoke but with an intensity unlike the gypsies usual demeanour.
"This is not one of my cards."