Memories of the Heart by Betty Bokor
Sam/Daniel. A mission goes horribly wrong while Sam's life is changed forever. Spoilers: All seasons, including 10 to the end.
Disclaimer: The Stargate original characters belong to MGM/Showtime, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Film Corp. This was written strictly for the purpose of entertainment. No attempt at copyright infringement has been made.

Memories of the Heart

Chapter 16

A.N. Hi. If you are enjoying the story, please, be kind and let me know. Thanks.

The following morning, Sam stood in front of the gate waiting for Teal'c. As soon as she saw him walking through, she felt delighted. He was wearing his Jaffa robes, but his hair looked very different, extremely long.

Teal'c bowed his head slightly, then looked around, and finally walked toward her. Sam was smiling broadly.

"Teal'c," she said as they clasped hands.

"ColonelCarter."

"Welcome to Atlantis."

Teal'c bowed his head again. She looked thrilled.

"So this is Atlantis," Teal'c said as they started walking toward the second level. After they climbed the stairs, he looked through a window. "It's impressive."

"It is, isn't it?"

Teal'c lowered his head and seemed sad. Sam wondered what he was thinking about. "So, Teal'c, the hair?" she asked, trying to lighten the mood.

"You do not like it?"

"Oh, I love it! It's very ... Earth!" she exclaimed with a smile.

Teal'c smiled, too. Then, he looked around again. "This city is much larger than I expected."

"Oh, it's a remarkable feat of engineering. The Ancients really knew what they were doing."

"Indeed."

Sam smiled, delighted, but she noticed the sadness seemed to be back in his expression. "What is it, Teal'c? What's bothering you?"

He seemed surprised that she would have noticed. He took a second and Sam thought he was trying to decide whether to tell her or not. He looked at her and finally said, "My idea of Atlantis came only through DanielJackson's words, when he imagined it, before anyone got to travel here, and later, after he got the chance to visit the city. I believed he was exaggerating, fueled by his passion for ancient discoveries."

Sam had to smile. Oh, yes. Daniel was fascinated by Atlantis. "He didn't exaggerate, eh?"

"He did not."

They kept walking in silence for another while.

Suddenly Teal'c interrupted Sam's thoughts. "You look well, ColonelCarter. Command has been good to you."

"Thanks, Teal'c!" She replied. "It took some getting used to. Military protocol's pretty relaxed, but I like it here."

He stopped walking and looked straight at her. "There's something else that makes you happy. You look different." He seemed to scrutinize her. "Have you found a mate, Samantha?"

Sam let out a little laugh. She grabbed Teal'c by the arm and said, "Let's go to my office."

They walked a little longer until they reached her office and they went in; Sam closed the door behind them. She indicated a chair for him to sit, sat in front of him, and smiled again.

"It's a little bit more complicated, Teal'c."

He bowed his head to show her he was ready to listen.

Sam felt very nervous, as if she were about to tell her father. "Only the doctor and McKay know, but I'm pregnant, Teal'c," she finally said.

He stretched his arms and grasped her hands. "That is very good news, SamanthaCarter."

"I know; it's so great," she said with enthusiasm.

"I take it RodneyMcKay is the father of your child?" he asked a few seconds later.

Sam was surprised. "Oh… No, no. He's not. He knows just because we got into trouble and he saved my life and… No, it's not Rodney."

He did not ask anything else, but Sam felt he was waiting for her answer.

"It was artificial insemination, Teal'c, with a donor's sperm. I'm not with anyone," she added, "I just wanted to have a child of my own."

Teal'c nodded in understanding. "It is a joyous experience."

"I know. It's fantastic. I'm enjoying it so much… Now I have to tell the rest of the world. At the beginning of the second trimester I will tell the SGC and the people around here, too."

"Is DanielJackson the donor?" Teal'c asked all of a sudden.

Sam was dumbfounded. She took a second to compose herself. "Yes… How did you-?"

"DanielJackson discussed with me his intention to store sperm for future conception. Now that he is gone and you are in control of his state, it seemed a logical conclusion."

Sam tried to decide if Teal'c was thinking that it had been wrong for her to do what she had done. "Do you think he would have minded?" she tried.

"I believe he would be as thrilled as you are," he replied.

"Really?"

"He could not have found a better mother for his child."

"Thank you."

"His feelings for you were very strong, Samantha."

Sam was surprised again. She did not think Daniel had told anyone what he felt for her. She had thought that his declaration of love had been something that came out in the spur of the moment, something he had not analyzed before. "Did he talk about me with you?"

"Indeed."

Sam took a deep breath. "Do you know what happened the night before he disappeared?" she risked.

"I do."

Sam could not say a word. She looked at him, asking for help.

"The following morning DanielJackson debated whether to tell you about his feelings or to wait until he came back, if he came back. I thought it wise to tell you right then. If I understood it correctly, it was you who initiated the events of that night."

Sam lowered her head and nodded. She felt overwhelmed. She knew Daniel and Teal'c were very close, but she did not know how much. This proved that Teal'c had taken the place Jack had left vacant after leaving for Washington. "Wow. He told me, he really told me." She sighed. "I'm glad you know, so that we can talk freely about it," she said, "but I'm not going to tell anyone else. I don't want to have to explain what Daniel wanted or what we did or why I decided to do this…"

"I understand. You can count on me to keep your secret."

"Do you think you could let General O'Neill know? Not the part about Daniel, just about the baby and the A.I." She paused. "I think he'll feel bad if he doesn't know before the others and it doesn't seem like something you'd talk on a communication from another galaxy."

"I will let him know as soon as I go back to Earth."

"Thank you." She smiled at him. "Maybe you should tell the rest of SG-1, too."

"I will."

She sighed, relieved. "You know, Teal'c, I wish I could tell Daniel how much he means to me. When he told me that morning, I was so… stunned; I didn't manage to say anything. There was no time, either. He was gone before I could even reach him. But he's been so important for me all these years; he changed me so much… You know… How he sees the world… and people. Even Vala changed and I think she did because of him, for him."

Teal'c nodded in agreement.

"I just hadn't had the guts to face it until then. The General, Daniel, you, and I… We've been so close all these years… It was very confusing." She sighed one more time. "But, that night, Teal'c, that night I was scared to death to lose him again. I'd have done anything to keep him with me."

Teal'c remained quiet, letting her talk about her feelings.

"I wished he'd told me before how he felt. Maybe I would have seen my own feelings."

"He did not want to risk losing your friendship, Samantha. He was willing to settle for it if he could not have your love, as long as he could remain close to you."

Sam's eyes filled with tears. "You know, Teal'c, I can't accept that he's dead yet. Maybe I'll get there someday, but for now, I can't. Sometimes I feel like he's so close to me. I wish he'd have ascended at least and that he'd come to see me, like he did with the General and you. That way I could tell him…"

"I do not believe him dead either. He has proven his resilience many times before. I will wait for more concrete proof of his demise before I accept it as a fact."

Sam smiled. She felt so at ease with Teal'c. She wished he could stay there forever.