Memories of the Heart by Betty Bokor
Sam/Daniel. A mission goes horribly wrong while Sam's life is changed forever. Spoilers: All seasons, including 10 to the end.
Disclaimer: The Stargate original characters belong to MGM/Showtime, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Film Corp. This was written strictly for the purpose of entertainment. No attempt at copyright infringement has been made.
Memories of the Heart
Chapter 17
A.N. Hi. If you are enjoying the story, please, be kind and let me know. Thanks.
Other than her baby, Sam would not have many reasons to smile in the following weeks. Before she could even reach the end of the first trimester of her pregnancy, she had already dealt with the Hoffan plague, Teyla's search for Kanaan and her people, her subsequent kidnapping by Michael, and the clone of Carson Beckett being put in stasis. To be able to, at least, take one worry out of her mind, at the beginning of April she contacted the S.G.C. and revealed her pregnancy to General Landry. He acted surprised and congratulated her effusively. Though he already knew it was possibly going to happen, it made Sam happy that he made his approval official. Being a high ranking woman in the military was hard enough. Being pregnant while single did not make it easier.
In spite of her success with Landry, Sam did not tell the Atlantis personnel yet. Teyla was missing and everybody else was engaged in trying to find her and stopping Michael from dominating the galaxy. The following days would get harder as soon as John disappeared during a failed travel through the gate.
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Daniel walked into the cell, sat against the wall, and cried. It was alright. Why not cry? All these months, he had tried to keep calm and deal with whatever happened to him in the coldest form possible. Letting his emotions dominate him would only get him killed in battle or crazy in his prison. But, today, the only friend he had managed to make during his stay in hell had just been killed with an arrow through his chest. It was too much.
Three weeks. Three weeks was all he had had for a friendship. He had to call it friendship; he needed to call it that way.
He did not even know the name of the man who had understood his signals when Daniel had tried to ally with him in order to help each other survive. All their efforts had allowed them to get through three more battles, but they had not been enough this time, when they had been outnumbered and in worse tactical conditions. It was a miracle that Daniel was not dead, too.
He cried for a while, unable to stop. All the sadness, the pain, the depression caused by week after week of engaging in killing or being killed, had found an outlet.
When he started to calm down, he looked at the stick-calendar he had drawn on the wall. He had been careful to keep it current in case his watch got lost or damaged in battle. He usually checked the calendar in the wrist watch to be certain that he was keeping his wall accurate.
Six months had passed since he had been taken. Six months since he last saw his friends. Six months since he last saw Sam.
For a second he wished Sam was there with him and then he felt horrified. Anywhere but there. That was what really kept him going, the belief that Sam and the others were home, all right, far from his misery.
He closed his eyes and lay down on the floor. He had to concentrate and try to reach Sam. Those were the best moments of his life lately. Those few seconds when he really believed that he could connect with her in some way. It was not much of a connection, but it always left him with the sensation that he had sensed how she was feeling at that time.
He sighed. He was not going anywhere; he could not concentrate enough… but he needed her so desperately that night… He tried one more time, carefully, unhurriedly, patiently.
Finally, he felt as if his mind was leaving the cell, going toward her. He controlled his heartbeat. He kept a regular rhythm that would not disturb his concentration.
Suddenly, he felt the need to open his eyes. Right in front of him was Sam.
He concentrated in his heartbeat again. "Do not disrupt" he was telling his body. He had to keep a steady beat or he would lose the image.
He looked around, almost afraid to take his eyes out of Sam for fear of losing her.
The room felt comfortably warm. It seemed to be Elizabeth's office in Atlantis, but it had changed somehow. Of course; it was Sam's office now. She was in her office in Atlantis. And so he was.
How? How was he there? It did not matter. He had to enjoy the experience for as long as it lasted.
He looked at her. She was writing. Now and then she looked at the computer screen by her side and then she made notes on a paper pad. She seemed unaware of his presence.
Sam's hair was longer and she had it tied in a ponytail. She looked beautiful in her dark uniform.
He spent several minutes staring at her, trying to memorize every detail. He had looked at her so many times in the past and, yet, there were details that the time he had spent in captivity was erasing.
There was something clearly different in her. After a while he realized that the features of her face seemed softer, less pronounced. Had she gained weight? That was crazy. Sam always kept herself in perfect shape. Her hands and arms looked perfectly fine; he could not see much of the rest of her body behind the oversized desk. Maybe her chest…
He closed his eyes to keep some thoughts away and he opened then almost as fast for fear of leaving her. With relief he saw that she was still there, in front of him. He felt the need to extend his hand toward her, but she was too far for him to touch her and, in any case, she was probably not real. Goodness… He missed her so much. If only he was really with her…
All of a sudden, Sam lifted her head and turned to look straight at him. Her face immediately changed into a gesture of utmost surprise.
Daniel knew that she could actually see him and he felt compelled to say her name.
As soon as the word came out of his mouth, the image disappeared, the connection was severed, and he felt the cold hard floor of the cell in his back.