SUMMER 1994,
Housatonic, Massachusetts. Not a motel.
Thanks God.
Dad is gone. Another Hunt, an Angiaks this time.
Strangely enough, me, Sammy and Elouise aren't on our own. Dad leaves us with this woman, Donna. She works at the Mayflowers, so she bring us the left over from the bar every evening. She is great, really...She has this endless legs, curly blonde hair and a body like a model... I must thank dad when he comes back, seriously.
Sammy, like the geek he is, gave himself a reading list for the summer. Sometimes he gets me worried. What kind of kid gives himself homework? No really, I need an answer.
Donna says he's cute but I say he's weird and a little nuts.
With dad and Sam things are not okay. They argue all the time. Sammy wants a normal life, wants to stay in a place for more than three month. Dad is... being dad. He puts the hunt before everything. This is our life and the sooner Sammy understands that, the better. Fighting like that won't do him no good.
Now he is playing with Elouise. She's growing up really fast. Now she's 8 month old. It wasn't simple at first. I didn't remember being this hard to take care of a baby. Sammy was simple to take care of. He only needed to me to pick him up and he was good. He didn't move a lot, he liked when I showed him books and things like that, and he was a quiet baby. Elouise is different. She likes to play and she smiles and laughs a lot. She's beginning to crawl, so we must always pay attention because one second she is sitting near the bed and a second later she is under the bed.
Once, for example, we couldn't find her. We searched for her for like ten minutes. We finally found her inside my bag, sound asleep. She scared the living s*** out of us.
She's also beginning to speak. She kind of goes on babbling, making noises and high pitched screams every time we sit with her. Oh, and I think she call us with different sound. I am "Deeeehh" (it sound like a cat that is dying), and Sam is "Aaaaaam" or maybe is the way she call the food, since Sammy gives her food every time they play together. I don't know.
She doesn't call dad in any way.
"Deeeeeeeeeeeeeh"
Here we are. Not even in the shower can you have peace.
"Deeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeh"
"Dean, I think that Giggles want you!" Sammy announces.
"Yeah, Sammy I'm coming, give me a minute!" I tell him, he closes the bathroom door.
Really, when did I become a full- time mom? Last time I checked I still was a 15 years old boy. But whatever.
I get out from the bath without drying myself off. I take Elouise up and make her spin around like an airplane. She loves it.
"Hey Pumpkin-pie, are you having fun, now? Of course you are having fun, you're playing with the cool brother now! Let's eat something, watcha say? Me, you, the park and Ba. We can bring Sammy too. Right Sammy?"
"Yeah Dean it's great, let me take some books and we can go."
I dress myself, put Elouise in the stroller and prepare the bag with all the baby's s***. Oh let's not forget Ba. Ba is her plush toy, it's a squirrel I bought her when she was like 3 months old. Now she can't live without it. I think that she's gonna marry it when she's old enough.
"Hey Sammy, you're ready?"
"Yeah Dean we're good to go!"
We walk out of the tiny apartment dad pays for. It's hot, are we still in Massachusetts?
Oh yeah, the park. Let's find a nice tree were we can sit down and try to find some fresh air.
The walk to the park isn't long, it take us only 10 minutes.
The park is empty. There is no one. It's kind of creepy. But whatever. Really with the kind of thing we hunt, nothing scares me anymore. And certainly not a creepy, abandoned park in the middle of nowhere. Nope. Not a chance. Anyway, I start to walk faster to find us a place.
Where did I put my knife, now? The gun is in Elouise's bag, the salt under the stroller. Oh, yes, Sammy has it.
"Hey Sammy, you got the knife?"
"In my bag, Dean, with the books. Why? Is Deany scared of the big bad empty park? bhu-uh."
"First, Sammy, I'm not scared, I'm concerned for the well-being of my little siblings. Second, don't be a smartass. Third, keep the knife at hand."
"So you ARE scared! Can't wait to tell this to dad and Uncle Bobby. Hahaha!"
"You, little s***, shut your mouth," I tell him, ruffling his hair playfully, just the way he hates it, "I told you that I'm only concerned."
"Yeah, yeah. If you believe that..." Sam mutters, smoothing his hair down.
"Thank you," I say sarcastically, "Look! That's the perfect spot. "
The perfect spot is a tree in the middle of a field. It is a willow, with lots of fronds. A shady spot, at last. We sit all down under the tree. Elouise is in her stroller, holding Ba tightly.
She will be a hell of a huntress.
Like the best. She has me and Sammy as brothers, John Winchester as father and as Uncle, Bobby Singer. It's in her blood. I don't know how to feel about it though. I just hope that she grows up less screwed up than us.
"Deeeeeeeeeeeeeeeh"
Okay. Elouise wants to get off from the stroller. Now she is moving her arms and legs like the most adorable little monkey. She is getting angry.
"Hey Wiggle-bum, Calm down! I'm coming, I'm coming."
I pick her up and hold her in my arms. She snuggles against my chest and leans her head on my shoulder, with the thumb in her mouth. We sit down and I start humming "Ramble On". It's her favorite song. When the radio play it she is always happy. It's also her lullaby, so naturally she falls asleep.
The sun passes through the branches and a slight breeze is blowing from the north. It's really peaceful. I wish every day was like now. Sammy put his head on my legs. He is reading a book about some history events. WWI or something like that.
"Hey Sammy..."
"Yes, Dean."
"I'm happy. I like it here. Wish we could stay here forever."
"Nah, you only want to have some more time with Donna."
"Seriously Sam. If you want, we could stay here. We could talk Dad in letting us."
"What got into you, Dean? Aren't you the one who is always on dad's side?"
"I don't want Giggles to grow up as us. I want her to be safe and happy."
"I want that too, Dean. A home, with three rooms: one for you, one for Giggles and one for me. A kitchen, so we don't have to eat always take away or fast food. A bathroom, with a big bath..."
"Warm water too."
"Yeah, warm water too. It would be nice."
"Yeah, it would be," I agree quietly.
We both look straight ahead. We don't talk. It would be great to live a normal life. But it's a dream. Let's be realistic, we're never going to have that. I look at Elouise. She is happy and loved. I hope that this will be enough.