Memories of the Heart by Betty Bokor
Sam/Daniel. A mission goes horribly wrong while Sam's life is changed forever. Spoilers: All seasons, including 10 to the end.
Disclaimer: The Stargate original characters belong to MGM/Showtime, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Film Corp. This was written strictly for the purpose of entertainment. No attempt at copyright infringement has been made.
Memories of the Heart
Chapter 21
A.N. Hi. If you are enjoying the story, please, be kind and let me know. Thanks.
Around the end of June, the death of General George Hammond affected Sam very deeply. His sudden heart attack left everybody stunned, but Sam suffered the loss more personally. After the death of her own father, Hammond had become a second father for her. He had retired, but he was still actively working on Public Relations for the Air Force, probably preparing the country to be familiar with his face for the time when he would be one of the many faces of the Stargate Program.
After losing Jacob, Sam had secretly counted on him to be the one to give her away at her wedding someday in the future. Now, not only she had lost Hammond, but, more importantly, she had lost Daniel and the idea of ever marrying had almost completely vanished.
The general's death stirred up all her sad feelings and, the afternoon after the funeral, she returned home and lay down in bed crying. She felt awfully alone and the memories of her mother and father's deaths quickly came back to her memory. Without thinking, she initiated a review of all the tragic events of the recent years and the many losses she had suffered, especially of friends and colleagues of the program.
She tried to call her brother on the phone to hear some good news about his children or to simply feel she was not completely alone in the world. The answering machine did not help her much. She could not find Cassie, either, and SG-1 was out on a mission.
She hung up the phone and went back to her bed, where she kept crying inconsolably.
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Daniel knew something was about to change. He could feel it the way the guards treated him, in the way the customs around the prison had started to relax. He was not going to stay there for long; he was certain.
His biggest concern was that, after all he had done to survive that madness, he would be probably executed without a word. He was preparing for that day. He had started to accept the idea of ascending again. He did not think he would descend back to human after that, but he wanted a chance to talk to Sam, to let her know of his fate, to be sure that she was moving on with her life.
He lay down on the floor and concentrated on her. He had not done that for more than two months, since the experience in her Atlantis' office. He had no doubt that the whole thing had to have affected Sam and he did not want to hurt her in any way. This time he was going to be more careful. Besides, he had been feeling a strong need to connect with her. He had been feeling that she was not alright.
He deepened his concentration. After a long while, he was relaxed enough to really start projecting his mind towards her. Almost an hour after he had started, he knew he was with her.
He opened his eyes and he saw her. He was standing at the feet of her bed in a room he did not recognize. She was lying on the bed, holding onto her pillow and crying softly. And she was pregnant, very pregnant.
The surprise almost broke his concentration. He calmed himself.
She was crying; she needed help. This was not the time to wonder who was the father of her baby. He could think about that later. Now, he needed to do something for her.
He tried to approach her. He was amazed to realize that he was there not only with his mind, but also with his body. He looked at himself for a second. It was a different image than the one he saw every time that he looked at himself on the river. He was wearing jeans and his cream sweater.
He touched his own arm. It was real. He took a deep breath and walked one step towards Sam.
The movement caught Sam's attention and, for a second, she panicked. Then, she saw him.
"Daniel!"
He made a big effort and remained calm. He slowly walked towards her and softly sat on the edge of the bed. "Sam," he said with a smile.
Sam sat up and looked at him with fascination, unable to do anything, not even say a word.
"I probably won't be able to stay long," he tried.
"What happened to you?" Sam managed to ask.
"It doesn't matter, Sam. You're crying; what's going on?"
She took a second. She wanted so badly to touch him, but she was afraid he would disappear again. "General Hammond died this week. He had a heart attack."
"I'm sorry, Sam," he started saying.
"Can I touch you?" She interrupted him. "Are you real?"
He smiled. "Kind of. It looks like I have a body here. We can try, but, first, I want to know a couple of things. If I just go away when you touch me, I need to know before that."
She nodded.
"Are you alright? I mean, I know you are, physically, and I can see…" He stopped and looked at her belly. "Are you okay?"
"Now, I am," she replied softly.
"How far?" He dared ask.
"A little bit more than five months," she answered with a smile.
There was a mix of happiness and sadness in Daniel's reaction and Sam thought she knew why. "I… I did something, Daniel." She looked directly into his eyes.
"What?"
She stretched her hand toward him and waited to see if he would grab it.
Daniel hesitated. He did not want to go so soon. Then he decided it was worth a try. He carefully reached out and held Sam's hand.
They both stayed still, paralyzed by the overwhelming surge of sensations the touch had caused. Then, very slowly, Sam pulled his hand towards her belly and let him touch it.
"He's yours, Daniel," she said very softly,
Daniel looked stunned. "But I… How?" It took him only a few more seconds to understand. "Why, Sam?"
Sam worried that he was upset about her using his sperm. "I'm sorry. I know I shouldn't have done it without your permission, but-"
"No. That's not it, Sam," he said with concern. "You had every right to do it. I can't think of anyone I'd have chosen instead of you."
Sam smiled, relieved.
"I just thought that you had finally stopped being lonely; that you had found someone to share your life."
"I did; you," Sam replied.
"But I'm not here… I'm not coming back," he saw the sudden pain in her eyes, "at least not the way it was before."
"Daniel," she tried.
"Sam, I can't even tell you where I really am right now. You can't imagine what I've been through-" He stopped, thinking he had said too much. "I don't want you to be lonely, Sam."
"I'll never be, I'll always have him," she countered as she touched her belly again.
"But you need a man, someone who can help you, support you in the bad days, hold you when you're crying," he said gently.
"I will wait for you. Maybe you can come back. Maybe you'll find a way one more time."
"I think I've ran out of miracles, Sam."
"Give yourself a little longer. We'll be here, waiting for you."
Her resolve seemed so intense that he could not say no to her. "I promise I'll try, Sam. For as long as I can."
"That's enough for me."
Daniel felt that something on the other side was pulling him away. "I have to go, Sam," he said. He gently caressed her belly and his eyes filled with tears.
"I love you," she said hurriedly, afraid of wasting the chance she had been given.
Daniel smiled, squeezed her hand, and replied, "I love you, too, Sam."
And then he was gone.