1996, JULY 4
Dad would never let us doing what we're about to do. It's the fourth of July. What are three, real American kids gonna do on this day? We're gonna set the world on fire. Okay, not exactly fire. Fireworks.
Sammy and I have been working on this for weeks. Do you have any idea how hard it is to steal fireworks?
Anyway, Sammy and I have accumulated a lot of fireworks. Elouise is with us, we don't want her to miss this. We want to have the best day of our life.
So the plan was simple: get dad drunk, let him fall asleep then fly away as fast as we can. The first and the second steps were really simple. Dad was always drunk, and he always falls asleep after he drinks. It was difficult, on the other hand, to escape without him hearing us. Even drunk, dad remains always a marine and a hunter. So we had to be really, really, really careful and quiet. Not the easier thing to do with a two year old. Anyway we made it. We took the Impala, but we didn't turn her on right away. We pushed her until we were leaving the motel parking lot. Then we run as fast as we could.
So here we are. Now. Three kids. Waiting to rock this night. From the Impala is coming the sound of the radio, Led Zeppelin are blasting from it. Sam is near me holding a crate of fireworks, while I hold Elouise's hand.
"Come on, let's go!"
He is so excited, I haven't see him like this in ages. Sam walks off and places the fireworks on the ground and pulls out a couple.
"Got your lighter?"
I check my pockets and pull out the lighter Sammy got me for my 16th birthday. Then I look at him. He has on his brightest smile. Elouise is excited too, we told her what is about to happen, and she is asking about the "fire in the sky" since we told her, three days ago.
"What are you waiting for, Dean?! Fire 'em up!"
Giggles is jumping and screaming. She know we're about to light the night with the magic fire.
"FIRE DEAN! FIRE DEAN! FIRE DEAN! FIRE DEAN!"
She is jumping and spinning around. Sammy holds her hand and the two of them begin to twirl. They're happy. Let's make them happier. Happiness is never too much for my little kids. I stop them, pick Elouise up and give Sammy a firework.
"Now, Giggles, pay attention. We are going to make some magic. Ready?!"
"Yay!"
I light Sam's firework then my own. They go off, shooting red sparks into the sky.
"OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Dean, Dean Look! Sammy Look!OHHHHHHHHH! YHAY"
Elouise is totally enraptured by the spectacle. Her eyes are shining and she has on her biggest smile. Sammy is smiling too. He is happy. I like this.
Things at "home" are getting worst. They got so bad that this winter Sam took all his belongings and left in the middle of the night. Two weeks. He left us for two weeks. I understand leaving dad, but me. And Elouise. I can't even. Seriously. Then when dad came back. Better not think about that. It'll only ruin this evening.
The fireworks die. I look down at Sammy. He looks over at me. Smiling. I've already forgiven him for what he put me through. I'll always do. He is my little brother. I remember holding him, like I do now with Giggles. How can I blame him for running away? It was on me. It was on me to understand that something was wrong. He's my responsibility. I fail dad and I fail him. That's one of the reason why I'm trying to make everything better for him. Maybe if he has fun with me and Elouise he won't leave us again. Giggles was heartbroken when he left. She asked every damn minute of the day for Sammy. It was awful.
"Dad would never let us do anything like this. Thanks, Dean. This is great."
Sam hugs me. I'm a little startled but I hug him back. Sam pulls away and kiss Elouise's cheek. He takes all the firework. He puts them down and lights them all. Then he runs away.
" Fire in the hole!"
The fireworks start to explode. Sam and I back away. We all start laughing. Sam takes Elouise from my arms and they go out to dance under the sparks. Sam look at me and nods. I know what it means. It's a thank you. It means that he know that things are mess up. That they probably will never return like it was before the continued struggle with dad became. But it also means that despite whatever is going to happen between them, we'll be always be brother. No matter what.