Memories of the Heart by Betty Bokor
Sam/Daniel. A mission goes horribly wrong while Sam's life is changed forever. Spoilers: All seasons, including 10 to the end.
Disclaimer: The Stargate original characters belong to MGM/Showtime, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Film Corp. This was written strictly for the purpose of entertainment. No attempt at copyright infringement has been made.
Memories of the Heart
Chapter 23
A.N. Hi. If you are enjoying the story, please, be kind and let me know. Thanks.
Sam felt another contraction coming and closed her eyes. Did it hurt more than being shot? She was not sure. What she knew was that it hurt an awful lot.
She re-opened her eyes and looked around. Vala had gone to give an update to her teammates and the nurse had stepped out for a moment. She sighed. She needed to relax, but it was hard to remember that when the pain came back.
"Sam," she heard softly from her right and she turned her face to see him.
"Daniel!" she said with excitement, but as quietly as she could. "I was thinking of you a minute ago. I wished so much you could be here."
"I think I felt that," he smiled. "I felt you were calling me."
"You didn't come back. I was so worried."
"It's not easy, Sam. Many things have changed. I don't know what's going to happen-"
Sam grunting in pain interrupted his words. He carefully approached her and stretched his hand to see if he could touch her.
It worked and he carefully held her hand through the contraction.
Sam smiled appreciatively. "You know he's a boy, don't you?"
"Are you sure?"
She nodded. "We did an amniocentesis, to check that he was okay. We're sure."
Daniel smiled.
Right then Vala and the nurse came back, followed by Jennifer, and he disappeared.
Sam felt like yelling at everybody to leave her alone.
"How are we doing?" Jennifer asked while she examined her.
"Fine," Sam tried, "but I think I'm not ready yet. I think I should rest for a while and I'll call you when I feel like it's time."
Jennifer looked at her with surprise. Vala and the nurse did, too.
"You're not ready? Sam, you're more than ready. This is happening and it's happening soon," Jennifer replied.
"Okay, I understand. What if I told you I need a moment alone before it happens?"
Jennifer was stunned. "You're sure?"
"Yes. Give me five… no, three minutes and then-" She had to stop to deal with a contraction. After it passed, she tried again. "Three minutes, please. On my own. I promise I'll be ready after that."
"Are you really sure, dear?" Vala asked. She had tried to keep herself out of the discussion, but she did not think it was a good idea.
Sam nodded emphatically.
The three women left the room a few seconds later.
"I'll be back in three minutes, Sam, and, ready or not, this is happening. That baby is ready," Jennifer warned before closing the door.
Sam leaned backwards and closed her eyes. "Daniel," she whispered.
"I'm right here."
She looked at him and smiled. "I thought you had left."
"They can't see me, Sam."
"They shouldn't or they actually can't?"
Daniel took a second. "This connection is with you, Sam. Your mind and mine. They couldn't see me even if they wanted to see me, but every time they're close they interfere with our connection."
"What can I do to keep you? I don't want you to leave, not now."
Daniel though for a few more seconds. "If you can concentrate, you'll hear my voice even when the others are here, but it will be very hard, Sam, because what you really need to concentrate on is on that," he added as she showed the signs of going through another contraction.
"Okay," she said. "I'll try. I won't even look towards you, but I'll be listening to you. Talk to me, okay?"
"I will."
Jennifer opened the door and the image of Daniel went away.
"Ready?"
"Yep," Sam said with a smile.
Vala sat by her left and held her hand. "We're all here, Sam. It's going to be alright."
"I know," Sam said and smiled.
In the next minutes, other people joined them in the small room. Other nurses and the pediatrician who would take care of the baby were there.
Amid the chaos, as she followed Jennifer's instructions and put all her energy on giving birth to their son, Sam constantly heard reassuring words from Daniel. And she felt his hand holding hers.
As soon as the baby was born, the nurses and the doctor took him to one corner of the room to check his health and start cleaning him up. Sam kept her eyes on him and did not feel calm until she heard him cry.
"Can I hold him?"
"In a minute, Sam. We'll get you ready and they'll bring him to you."
Sam felt a soft reassuring squeeze on her hand and she knew Daniel was still there.
"He's beautiful," she said and she felt the squeeze again. "It's hard to find words," she said softly, trying to translate his feelings.
"He's coming! He's coming!" Vala said with excitement. "What are you going to call him?"
Sam looked to her left and was surprised to see Daniel smiling at her. She quickly looked at the others and realized, by their lack of reaction, that they had not seen him at all.
She looked again, but the image was gone.
"Daniel," she called softly.
"Daniel? That's a great name. You're right. The best name. He even looks a little bit like him… or like you… There wouldn't be much difference," Vala said without a breath.
"I'm still here," Sam heard a whisper in her ear.
"Yes, Daniel, he's going to be Daniel," she said smiling at the baby she was being given. She cradled him against her chest and said, "Hello, little Daniel. Say hello to your… family. We're all here… or very close."
Jennifer looked at Sam and imagined all the thoughts that were going through her head. She also imagined how much she was missing Daniel. "Sam, we'll leave you alone with your son for a few minutes. Okay?"
Sam looked at her with surprise.
"We'll be back to take you to your room and he'll go to get properly bathed and checked more thoroughly, but I think you two deserve a few minutes together. You can have him later again. Okay?"
Sam nodded and everybody left the room. Vala ran to tell the others that everything had gone alright.
"You know how much I love you both, right, Sam?" Daniel said softly.
She nodded again.
"I want you to remember that if I can't make it back. Tell him that I loved him before I knew him; that I would've loved him even if he hadn't been my son."
"Daniel," Sam said with her eyes full of tears. "Do you have to go?"
"I'm not really here and you know it. It's been very hard to keep the connection for so long. I'm afraid I don't have the strength to keep it going."
"Daniel," Sam complained.
"Remember, I love you."
Before she could answer the link was broken again. She held onto her baby and cried.
An hour later, she was in her Infirmary bed, waiting for her baby to be brought to her. Someone knocked on the door and she called him in.
"SamanthaCarter," Teal'c said as he approached her.
She invited him to sit by her side.
"I wish to congratulate you on the birth of your son," he started.
"Thanks, Teal'c," Sam said and then she lowered the tone of her voice and got closer to him. "He was here, Teal'c. During the delivery. He saw the baby, but he said he wasn't sure he'd be able to make it back."
After Sam had revealed him everything about Daniel's previous visits, Teal'c was not surprised by her words. "Did he provide you with any details of his current location?"
"No. I don't think he knows… or he's not really anywhere where we could find him…" She felt like crying again.
Teal'c grabbed her hand. "If there is any way to find DanielJackson, we will find him, Samantha. I have kept our search fresh in the minds of the allies of the Jaffa. If any news about his whereabouts surface, I will be immediately informed."
"Thanks, Teal'c."
They talked for a few more minutes until Cameron came in carrying the baby. "Jack O'Neill is on the phone, Sam, and McKay sent an encoded message from Atlantis," he said as he gave the baby to her.
Sam held baby Daniel and accepted the phone she was being offered. As she talked to Jack, she could not stop smiling at why Rodney could have needed to encode his message. He probably said something about the baby's father…