Memories of the Heart by Betty Bokor
Sam/Daniel. A mission goes horribly wrong while Sam's life is changed forever. Spoilers: All seasons, including 10 to the end.
Disclaimer: The Stargate original characters belong to MGM/Showtime, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Film Corp. This was written strictly for the purpose of entertainment. No attempt at copyright infringement has been made.
Memories of the Heart
Chapter 24
A.N. Hi. If you are enjoying the story, please, be kind and let me know. Thanks.
Daniel used all the strength he had left and took another breath. He was sure that if he did not concentrate on breathing, he would die in a matter of seconds. Then again, he was not certain that he was really alive… or was it awake? Was he awake?
He put more effort into it. Surely, he could keep doing it for a little bit longer.
He took another breath. Shallow breath. Trying to take a deep breath had hurt too much and he did not think he would try again.
He had to be awake or he would not be feeling so much pain. It was not only his body hurting; his head seemed ready to blow up in thousands of pieces.
One more breath.
Was any of the other men alive? He had not seen any of them since their failed escape attempt. On the other hand, if one of them was there, he would never recognize him among the bloody prisoners lying on the floor.
Breathe… He had to breathe.
Considering what he was going through now, living on the farm had not been really bad… Not bad at all. Just a lot of physical work and not much sleep.
However, he had tried to get out of there. He wanted to find a way to communicate with his friends; he was looking for a way back to Sam and their son.
Come on. Keep breathing…
He had not been the only one. Many of the other slaves had seen more chances to escape from the farm than from their former prison. If they were to go back to the prison during the winter, they would have no more opportunities.
One more, one more…
It had not taken long for a small group of men to start discussing the possibilities. They had been very careful, planned the details for months. Their main problem was their lack of knowledge of the land where they were kept. They hay no idea what was beyond the high fences that surrounded the farm. Daniel used to imagine he was living in a feudal estate, but that did not help him figure out what would happen if they crossed the guarded gates.
Ah… That hurt more. Not moving anymore… Moving hurt.
Now he knew that it had been a doomed endeavor from the very beginning. There was no hope, but they did not know it when they finally tried.
Beyond the farm there was nothing but the highest cliffs Daniel has seen in his life and, right below, a rough sea. So far below, they could not even hear its roar.
He let out a sob. Nobody would mind.
Those six months he had spent on the farm now seemed vacation days. The torture he had endured since they had brought him to the new facility had been heartless… Not soulless; that was a better word. No, not really; it did not mean what he wanted it to mean. Desalmada.
A little smile appeared on his lips. He was still a linguist…
He did not even cry or scream anymore during the brain-washing sessions. He probably had learned that it was not a good idea trying to escape. This had to be their idea of rehab.
Ah… No, he could not breathe for much longer. He was going to pass out… or die. Not much difference. Which one would be better? He had promised Sam to try for as long as he could. Well, he could not do it anymore. Too much pain.
How long had he been there? He had no clue. He did not even have his watch anymore. Nothing; he had nothing.
How old was his son?
Breathe.
No; not anymore.
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………...
Sam looked at her baby sleeping by her side. He should be back in his crib, but she did not want to let him go yet. She did not get nearly as much time as she wanted with him. Her job took most of it.
"Sam," Cassie knocked on her open bedroom door. "Do you want me to put him back in his crib?"
Sam hesitated. "No… Let me have him a little while longer."
Cassie smiled. "I understand." She sat on the edge of the bed. "You know, I get that he's not Daniel's son, but I can see things in him that remind me of him," she smiled widely, "or I want him to look like him." She gently touched the baby's foot.
"Cassie, I told you he was conceived by artificial insemination, but there's more to it. I'm just not ready to talk about it. I should say it to a few more people and that's not easy."
"You don't have to tell me anything, Sam. If you chose a father for this baby, you surely had your reasons. None of us has the right to judge you. There's nothing to judge."
"Thanks," Sam said and stretched her hand to squeeze Cassie's in appreciation.
"I just really like that you called him Daniel. Our Daniel would like it, too."
"What do you see of Daniel in him?"
"Mostly his eyes. Yours are kind of bigger and a darker shade of blue… I don't know. It's just an impression."
Sam smiled. "They can still change their color. He's too young."
"Maybe." She became serious. "Do you ever think of him?"
"All the time."
"Do you think he's alive somewhere?"
"I hope so, but it gets harder to believe every day. There's nothing; no news at all. From where I'm sitting these days I have access to so much information and… nothing. We can't find him."
"I'm sorry. I miss him a lot. I can't begin to imagine how you much you miss him… and Teal'c and Jack. He always came back. I thought it would happen again."
"It's been more than a year and a half. He never took so long before."
They both stayed silent for a moment. Then Cassie stood up by the bed. "You know what? You should let him sleep there with you. Tomorrow is Sunday and you don't have to go to the S.G.C. Spoil him a little."
Sam smiled again. "I will."