Memories of the Heart by Betty Bokor
Sam/Daniel. A mission goes horribly wrong while Sam's life is changed forever. Spoilers: All seasons, including 10 to the end.
Disclaimer: The Stargate original characters belong to MGM/Showtime, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Film Corp. This was written strictly for the purpose of entertainment. No attempt at copyright infringement has been made.
Memories of the Heart
Chapter 27
"What do you mean? You know Daniel-" Sam started.
"I have not had a chance to see him. He is still with the Furlings who rescued him. He was severely injured during his captivity and," she paused, "his mental state seemed also compromised."
There was complete silence following her statement.
"The Furlings anatomy and physiology are very different than the humans, so they have not been able to help with the healing of his physical wounds, except for a few exceptions, but they have arrived to a satisfactory recovery from a psychological point of view." Lya saw the relief in the faces of the people around the table, but she was not interrupted. "They are ready to send him to his people, as they have with most of the other prisoners."
"What do we have to do?" Sam asked.
Lya noticed the anxiety in her tone. "The Furlings would prefer to keep their privacy."
"What do you mean?"
"They are willing to give Daniel Jackson to us and we would accompany him to you."
"That's it? You'll bring him to us?"
"That is correct."
"Well, what's stopping you? We're ready!" Vala said with excitement
Sam smiled and nodded her head in agreement.
"I am afraid it will take more than that. We have received a collection of documents from the Furlings that provide details about the three years that Daniel stayed in captivity. The Furlings deem it necessary for your people to be acquainted with all the particulars before you accept him."
"Why?" Cameron asked dryly.
"Your friend was subjected to different experiments, to give them a name. The Odjods were researching which races around our galaxy showed the most resilience ─in body and spirit─ and the least effort to be kept alive and working for them. Unlike the Goa'uld, they do not possess the capability to inhabit a host and dominate it. They used powerful weapons and drugs to achieve their dominance. They tried to break the will of the captives by torturing them or they used them in war exercises, among many other aberrations."
"Was Daniel broken?" Sam voiced the concern of his friends.
Lya took a few seconds to respond and everybody's concern grew.
"He used what he had learned when ascended as a means of escaping a reality he could not bear any longer." She looked at Sam. "According to what we have learned, he took advantage of the techniques a human replicator tried on him to make him remember his abilities during ascension."
Sam looked down. Daniel had always dismissed the incident, but she knew much more had happened than what he had written in his report. After all, he had been killed that day.
"Was that why he ended up communicating with the Furlings?" Paul asked Lya.
"We believe he has improved his skills up to that point, yes, though he will not remember it, at least for a while."
"What do you mean?" Sam asked, afraid that the Furlings were going to give them back a Daniel without any memory as the Ancients had.
"His memory has been altered," Lya conceded.
There was a general expression of dissatisfaction going around the table.
"He won't remember who he is, again? I mean, everybody said how hard it was the first time; I can't imagine him going through that another time," Vala said with a clearly frustrated tone.
"You should not fear that. His memories of himself and his past would be intact. The Furlings have put a temporary block to his memories of the time he spent with the Odjods. Its boundaries are probably not exact, because of the difference in physiology, but Daniel has responded well to the treatment. Given time to assimilate, to digest the knowledge of what happened to him, he will be able to deal with his memories."
"Do you mean we'll have to tell him what we read in those documents?" Cameron asked her.
"No. We all agree that he should read the documents himself, whenever he feels ready to do so. He has been told, in general lines, what he went through, but the details are something he will have to deal with later on."
"So, we could say that the reason why his memories were blocked was because he could not deal with them," Sam theorized.
"That is correct. The psychological torture was extremely brutal ─without even considering the physical part─ and it was too much for any human being to overcome in such a short period of time."
"Three years?" Vala interrupted.
"There were different stages in the experimentation. The documents indicate the last year was the hardest."
Sam closed her eyes. She needed a moment.
"Then," Cameron took over, "now that we understand the terms and conditions, what do we need to do?"
The two Nox who had been quiet until then stood and distributed papers around the table.
"These are the documents you need to read to prepare. They have been translated to your language. We will return in two weeks of your time with the person we believe to be Daniel Jackson. I will corroborate his identity myself and, in the case that we had made a mistake, you will be informed."
Lya and her friends refused to stay on Earth much longer. After they were gone, SG-1 and Sam got together in the conference room again.
"We must inform O'Neill," Teal'c said.
"Yes, and Landry, too," Sam agreed.
"What do you think, Sam?" Cam asked her.
"The Nox have always done the right thing when we've met them. I believe them."
"As do I," Teal'c said.
"Then, we should start getting ready," Vala proposed.
"Yes. If he's sick or injured, he'll need special care. We don't know how he was injured; we need to have an isolation room and an intensive care unit ready," Sam replied.
"Maybe the documents will help us with that, too," Paul suggested.
"Yes. Let's divide the task, so that each one of us reads a section and summarizes it, and tomorrow morning we'll meet here and go over it together," Sam decided.
Sam called Hank Landry and informed him of the Nox visit. Then she called Jack. They talked for a while and then she went home. She told the news to Cassie and they both celebrated that Daniel was alive and that he would return home soon. It did not matter how injured he was; they would take care of him and he would recover. They were both certain of that.
That night, when she put Danny in his bed, Sam thought that perhaps Daniel would be there for his second birthday. He would get to see him again and to hold him.
She started crying without even noticing, but, this time, the tears were of happiness, the kind she had not felt in three years.