Memories of the Heart by Betty Bokor
Sam/Daniel. A mission goes horribly wrong while Sam's life is changed forever. Spoilers: All seasons, including 10 to the end.
Disclaimer: The Stargate original characters belong to MGM/Showtime, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Film Corp. This was written strictly for the purpose of entertainment. No attempt at copyright infringement has been made.

Memories of the Heart

Chapter 31

The next weekend Daniel moved into Sam's house. All his friends prepared a welcome party and celebrated his return with him. When Jack left, late in the evening, he promised to be back the next day and probably move into the guest room on Monday to help Daniel while Sam and Cassie were at work.

"This is a big house, Sam," Daniel said as he carefully got up from the armchair.

"I know, but I just fell in love with it. Wait until you see your library."

"My library?"

"Well, this house is yours, too," she replied as she helped him walk toward the elevator in the back of the house. "I used some of the money I got from selling your house to buy this one."

"That money was yours. I left it all for you."

"It doesn't matter now. In any case, the library upstairs is full of your things. There are a few books of mine in there, but most are in my office."

"I can't believe I've been in the house for almost eight hours and I haven't been upstairs yet."

"Jack didn't want you to get agitated," she smiled.

"Agitated?"

"You know him. He wanted to be in control. He's been directing what we had to put in your rooms and he's made Teal'c follow his every command. He says he knows you better than anyone."

"And Teal'c?" Daniel asked, smiling, too.

"I admire his patience."

They got to Daniel's room and Sam helped him in. He sat on the edge of the bed and looked around.

"It looks great."

"Good." Then she looked at his leg in a cast. "Does it hurt?"

"No; don't worry. I won't have this cast for long. The ribcage hurts a little bit more, but Keller gave me some pills and I have this bandage that helps a lot," he said as he slightly touched his shirt.

"I know. Jennifer taught me how to undo it and then re-bandage you, so that you can do the breathing exercises. We'll start in the morning. The last thing we need is for you to get pneumonia."

"Okay." He put his hands by his side and pushed them into the mattress. "Feels like my bed."

"It is. I've got almost all you furniture around here or in the basement."

He nodded. He did not want to ask why she had kept everything. He had something more important to ask. He looked at her. He had to do it. "They're mine," he said softly and waited.

"Yes, of course, that's what I'm trying to say."

"I mean," he paused, to gather courage, "Danny and the twins."

Sam's legs suddenly felt unable to hold her. She sat by his side and looked him in the eyes. "Did you remember? How do you know?"

Daniel sighed. So, he was right. "No, I didn't remember. I just looked at Danny today and… he reminded me of the few pictures I have left from my parents, those from Greece and Egypt. I kind of looked exactly like him."

Sam smiled and grabbed his hand.

"And, besides, Teal'c said you used a sperm bank, so I put it together."

"Are you okay with it? I asked you once to forgive me for doing it without your permission, but-"

"I can't think of anyone I'd have chosen instead of you."

Sam smiled widely and squeezed his hand.

"What?"

"That's exactly what you said the last time. Thanks."

"You don't have to thank me. It's an honor that you consider me good enough to be the father of your children, Sam."

"Of course you're good enough, Daniel; you're far more than good enough. You're unique."

He was so close to her and she had missed him so much… She desperately wanted to kiss him, to prove that all this time she had been holding on to something real and not just her imagination.

Before she could react, Daniel gave her a hug. It was heartfelt and she understood exactly what he meant by it, but it was not what she was expecting.

She sighed. She was unfair. He did not remember.

"Are you okay?" He asked.

"Yes, just relieved that you know."

"Is that why I came to see you after Danny was born? I knew?" he asked as they came apart.

"Actually, you were there while he was born, by my side, and, yes, you knew."

He seemed stunned. "I will remember it. I know."

She felt sorry. "You will, Daniel; I'm sure you will. They said you would, at your own pace. Besides, there was a note on the report. You remembered it when you talked to the Furlings, so, it's there. You just didn't mention that he was your son," Sam said and then worried that she was revealing too much.

"I was probably concerned about who would end up reading those papers. I don't know."

"Well, now you have to decide what you want to do, how to handle it. We can tell Danny when he comes to say good-night. Cassie promised to come by with him before she puts him in bed. He got to stay up late today, because of all the commotion… Or we can wait until you feel better. Or you don't have to tell him if you don't want to. I don't know. Just remember that you have all the rights… Just no obligations, because I didn't ask you before getting you into this."

"Sam, take it easy. What do you want? You haven't told anyone, so how do you want to go about it? Do you want it to stay a secret?"

"Teal'c knows… and Jennifer and Rodney."

"McKay? Why?"

"He saved my life in Atlantis and… It's a long story. Besides, they're married."

"Keller is married to McKay?" Daniel asked with disbelief.

"Atlantis changed him a lot."

He still looked doubtful.

"Well, not much, but enough."

"Okay…" he said, and looked at her, still expecting her to give her opinion.

She sighed again. "I wish we could tell everybody, slowly. I don't want anyone to be hurt."

"You mean Jack?"

"Well, he'll be hurt that I didn't tell him, but there was so much to explain."

"Do you want me to talk to him?"

She thought about it for a moment and then said, "No; I'll do it."

There was noise coming from the hallway and Sam looked at Daniel questioningly.

"You can tell him," Daniel said.

A couple of minutes later, Cassie and Danny came into the room.

"Hey, Danny," Sam said, kneeling by her son. "Do you remember Daniel?"

"Sure," Danny answered with his baby voice.

Sam smiled. Danny answered "sure" to at least fifty percent of her questions.

"Okay. Daniel is a friend of Mommy, but he also is someone very important. He's your Daddy."

Danny smiled. "Daddy," he repeated.

Sam knew he probably was not capable of grasping the importance of what he was being told, but Cassie had. The surprise was showing in her face.

Daniel looked at Cassie and smiled.

Sam looked at her and whispered, "I'll tell you later, Cassie." Then she looked again at Danny. "Now you need to go to bed. Why don't you give a big hug to Daddy and say good night?"

Danny obeyed with a smile.

Daniel's eyes filled with tears.

"Good night, Danny."

"Bye," Danny said and then hopped away towards his room. Cassie followed him.

"Thanks," Daniel managed to say.

Sam put a hand on his shoulder. "Nothing to thank me for, Daniel. Go to sleep, you too. You must be very tired." She grabbed a pillow from a chair and gave it to him. "This one is for your leg. Do you need help?"

"I'll manage. Don't worry."

"Good night, then."

"Good night, Sam."

As soon as Sam closed the door behind her, Daniel turned off the light and slowly stretched on top of the bed. More than the physical pain, he was feeling anguish, or perhaps sorrow. He knew he had consented to the memory block; he knew that he had been almost incapable of dealing with the memories of his confinement without losing his mind, but he desperately wanted to remember something he felt was important. Obviously, he did not know what, but every time he looked at Sam, he felt there was something in the air, between them, keeping them apart and pulling them together at the same time. If only he could just remember what that was…

He promised himself to start reading the papers the Furlings had given him as soon as he could the next day. Perhaps there was something there, in the notes that related what he had said to his rescuers, than hinted at what he had to remember about Sam.

There was another matter he had to think about. Should he ask Sam to marry him? She was the mother of his son and she was expecting his twins, so it seemed the sensible thing to do. Besides, the Program was going to be public in a few months and she would have to face the world as a single mother. He knew the world's attitude toward unmarried mothers had evolved drastically during the last quarter of a century, but it was not good enough yet. She was going to be harshly criticized; many would pass judgment on her without even knowing her; many more would condemn her for her audacity.

His biggest concern was that it would be unfair to her in one way or another. Or she kept her head high and dared the world, or she was sentenced to a life by the side of a man she did not love. He was sure they could have a great life together ─they were so compatible─ but that was not enough. Sam deserved to find a man who could ignite the passion he was certain she hid inside.

Should he give her the option at least? Should he give her the chance to decide what fate would suit her better? Should he risk offending or alienating her? Not to do it to avoid that risk would be just cowardice; he was too afraid of losing her, even if she always remained nothing but his friend, but he had to think of her first.

Then there was the other side. If he did ask her to marry him, would he do it because it was the right thing to do or because of his own feelings? Nobody would benefit more than him if she accepted.

It was a tough decision and he would have to think more about it. Maybe talk with Jack. Maybe with Teal'c.