Memories of the Heartby Betty Bokor
Sam/Daniel. A mission goes horribly wrong while Sam's life is changed forever. Spoilers: All seasons, including 10 to the end.
Disclaimer: The Stargate original characters belong to MGM/Showtime, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Film Corp. This was written strictly for the purpose of entertainment. No attempt at copyright infringement has been closed his eyes. He did not want to see. He could remember enough.
Memories of the Heart
Chapter 43
While Daniel was getting ready to leave, Jennifer called Sam apart.
"I saw it," she said with a smile.
"What?" Sam asked, clueless.
"The ring, silly."
Sam looked at it. She had completely forgotten about it. "Oh! Yes, we're going to get married."
"Congratulations!" Jennifer hugged her. "So, you told him or he remembered?"
"I told him some. I was kind of tired of the whole thing yesterday night and I just-"
"How did he get rings so fast?"
"He'd already bought them."
"That's even better! That means he was thinking about it before he knew."
"Or he was trying to be the knight in shining armor."
"Oh, come on, Sam, give him a break."
"You're right." She smiled. "We have to go, but I'll tell you more on Monday."
"Did something else happen?"
"You'll have to wait…"
Jennifer smiled. Maybe things would get better.
Sam drove Daniel home soon afterwards. She felt tempted to call Jack and tell him what had happened, but then she thought it would be better to wait until they all came back from their stay at the castle.
Daniel was silent all the trip long.
After getting into the garage, she helped him get out of the car, and went straight to the kitchen.
"Come on, Daniel. Jennifer said you're hungry and I haven't had breakfast either. I'll fix something."
Daniel followed her, but, once in the kitchen, he grabbed her hand and guided her to a chair.
"You sit down there. I'll take care of this."
She was about to complain, but he stopped her with a clear gesture.
"I need to be doing something."
"Daniel," she started.
"We can talk in a minute. Let me do this first."
In a few minutes, he had breakfast ready. He sat facing her and took a sip of his coffee.
Sam started eating and waited for him to talk.
"You understand what happened today, right?" he finally said, looking down at his coffee mug.
"I think I have a pretty good idea."
He nodded. "Yet, I don't know how I did it."
"Is that important? I mean, at least, this was something good. Do you need to know how you did it?"
He thought for a few seconds and then he sighed. "No, but I'm worried that other people will want to know."
"Jennifer doesn't think we should meddle with your memory."
"But she's not in charge."
"I am."
"There are other people who have power and a medical opinion has never stopped them before."
"Well, much has changed since you left for Astrada; for one thing, with the program becoming public, everything has to look peachy, as Jack would say, and non-standard experimentation would not pass the test. You may not realize this, Daniel, but, now that you're back, you're going to be one of the central attractions of this circus."
"What do you mean?"
"They're giving you some time to recover from your ordeal, but very soon they'll start prepping you for the big day."
"Why?"
"First, you're a civilian and they want to show to the world that this was more than a military operation and that the benefits that it brought outweigh the losses, especially the human losses and, of course, the monetary investment."
"There are hundreds of civilians besides me in the program."
"You opened the gate, Daniel. You foresaw it."
"I just had a theory."
"And in spite of all the laughing it provoked, you were right."
"So what?"
"So now they want your face plastered everywhere to prove a point. You're a legend inside the SG.C.; we all are. Now, we're going to be a public legend. They even have given us roles we have to represent."
"What roles?"
"Jack is the ragged military man, disheartened and cynical, who comes back from depression to save the world."
Daniel felt sick and his face showed it.
"I know. Wait until you hear the rest. Teal'c is the alien who left it all behind, even his family, to fight for the freedom of his people."
"Well, that's the truth."
"They all are somewhat true. They have just been exaggerated to make us role models."
Daniel smiled. "What are you?"
"I'm the girl, what do you think? A girl with a brain and a gun, but still the girl."
Daniel laughed. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry that they've made you into a stereotype, but at least you have the brain and the gun. Besides, I'm glad you're the girl."
"Who else could it be?"
"Do they have Vala in this, too?"
"Ah, yeah, but she's the alien/femme fatale."
"And Cameron?"
"Young blood, following the steps of his heroes."
"Okay, I won't ask anymore. I don't think I can take much more of this."
"You don't want to know about yourself?"
"Not really."
"Too bad. You have to deal with it like we do," she said with a wicked smile.
"Okay, what?"
Sam raised her hand as if looking at the horizon and made a theatrical gesture, "The visionary."
"That's it?'
Sam got serious. "No. You're also the man who fought to find his lost love and gave his life for his beliefs."
"I'm not dead," he said with a sardonic smile.
"Well, you ruined that part," she said with a small smile; "thanks to God." Then, she added with a somber tone, "but don't think they won't use your other deaths and everything else you've been through."
"Even these last years?"
"I'm sure. That's why you need to deal with it as soon as possible."
"You keep saying they. Who are they?"
"It's a committee the president formed to help us with the whole process. They have publicists, media and public relations people in general. "After Lya came, they had a meeting to see how to spin their plans to fit you alive. Your book was their idea, too, when this whole thing started, about two years ago."
"But nobody had written a word until now."
"They hadn't found anyone to do it. They read some of your journals in your office and they liked the style. They wanted someone who could do a similar job, but they didn't like any of the people who volunteered. As a last resort, they were going to wait until the whole thing became public and then search in a wider pool of candidates. As soon as you came back, they stopped searching."
"Not a very bright committee, eh?"
Sam slapped his hand playfully.
"So, what are we going to do?" He said very seriously.
"About what?"
"About what happened… I don't know how I did it and I don't know if I can do other things that may be dangerous for you or Danny. I don't think I have control of all that."
"Well, I'm not worried, Daniel. No matter what you can do, I'm sure you'd do anything but hurting one of us. Besides, according to those reports, you had control of all those abilities when you were there. Maybe it's coming back. That should be good."
"I'm not sure."
"Why don't we wait and see?" If something happens, we'll deal with it then. This from today was good, very good. We should be celebrating."
Daniel smiled.
"Let me clean this up and we can talk some more."
They spent the rest of the day making plans. First, they talked about marriage. Sam wanted to be sure that Daniel wanted it. He was very clear and she felt more relaxed about it. After lunch, they chose a date and a place to get married.
Then they talked about names for the babies; it was a new experience for Daniel and he enjoyed it. After they had a few possible names, Sam brought up Danny's name. She wanted to change it from Daniel Carter to Daniel Carter Jackson, now that everybody was starting to find out that Daniel was his father. Daniel felt honored that she asked and agreed without hesitation. For hours after that, they talked about Danny's first years while Sam showed him every picture she had ever taken of him.
There was enough time to talk about what had happened with their friends during the years Daniel had been gone and to make plans to get together with those he would enjoy seeing again.
By the time they were done with a late dinner, Sam brought up what had been in her head all day, but she had been afraid to ask.
"Are you going back to your room tonight or do you- I mean, you don't need much help now, so if you want to be on your own…"
"You'd like me to move to the main room?" he asked in a neutral tone that did not tell her anything about what he was feeling about it.
"I want you to do what feels comfortable for you. My room is bigger and the bathroom is also far better, but I don't think that's what matters. In any case, I want you to know that I'm not asking for anything. You're welcome to move in and use the room just for sleeping. I feel better when you're close, when I can keep an eye on you, but I've noticed that you're still uncomfortable with the idea of us."
He nodded, but she was not certain of what he was agreeing with and she was not ready to ask.
"Okay. I'll move to your room," he said.
Sam decided to be happy with that. "I'll help you bring the things you need. You can't go around carrying stuff while using those crutches."
He did not object and, an hour later, he was installed in Sam's room. While she was on the phone with Danny and Jack, carefully avoiding revealing the events of the morning, Daniel took a shower. After he was done, she took a shower herself.
When she came out of the bathroom, she expected to find him sleeping, like the night before. Instead, he was reading a book.
"You're not sleepy yet?"
"No; and you?"
"No, not either. I'm kind of hungry again."
Daniel smiled. "Why don't we go grab something to eat and we can watch a movie?"
"Sounds good."
After making a couple of sandwiches, they found a movie they could watch. Sam brought some blankets and they sat in the den. After half an hour, Sam started feeling uncomfortable.
"What is it?"
"I don't know. I think it's the pregnancy. I'm a lot more sedentary now than I was with Danny, but I get tired sitting in the same position for a long while.
"Come here," he said.
He stretched his arm and pulled her towards him. He put a pillow on his lap and told her to lay her head on it and stretch on the sofa.
"Oh… This feels much better."
"Good."
Now and then, she noticed that he softly stroked her hair or made sure she was warm under the covers. She enjoyed the extra attention. By the time the movie was finished, she was almost asleep.
"Hey, Sam," he said. "That was the end. I think you fell asleep."
She stretched a bit. "Yeah, I think so."
"Let's go to bed."
"Okay."
They got up and took the elevator to go to their room.
"Let me help you with that," he said as she started taking her robe off.
"Okay."
He held his weight on one crutch and helped her. Then he put the robe on the back of a chair.
She turned to thank him with a smile and he turned to say good night and they suddenly found themselves very close to each other, face to face. Sam noticed it affected him, but did not move. He looked at her for a few seconds, then he made a little gesture ─that Sam interpreted as giving up─ and he kissed her.