Author's Note: Okay, I know I haven't updated in almost a year. I don't even know why I'm continuing this, as I probably won't stick with it. So I'm not promising another chapter, but be on the look out in the next year or so for one ;] If anyone's reading this, thank you. And thank you to those that reviewed so very long ago. This chapter is for you.
Why don't you stay?/I'm down on my knees/I'm so tired of being lonely/Don't I give you what you need?
"Go to sleep, honey. It's okay, I promise," Marco said as he tucked Ellie in. The red-head flailed around drunkenly and began to protest. "No buts, sweetie. Go to sleep. Everything will be fine," he interjected, kissing her on the forehead and exiting the room.
He walked into his own room and crumpled on his bed, pounding his pillow like an angry six-year-old who can't control their emotions yet. "Dammit," he cried, curling up into a ball. He was so tired of cleaning up another person's mess. Holding another person's hand when they cried. Being the good friend, the brother. That last one was his favorite. The brother. That's what Dylan had told him two nights ago when he broke it off for the sixth time or so. 'Marco,' he had said, grabbing his hands, 'I can't do this. This past year... I see you more as a brother than a boyfriend. I'm sorry.' And then the bastard had walked off. When he had come home he had no one to console him. Paige was moping about Alex, Ellie was off at some party, and Griffin was asleep.
It was fine and dandy for them to barge into his rooms while he was asleep or studying with their problems, but God forbid they return the favor. He was so tired of being neglected, of feeling the emptiness deep within himself.
Even through his Degrassi years, he had always been the one everyone came to for help. Craig was diagnosed with Bipolar disorder and trashed Ashley's fathers' wedding? Fine, he was there to console him. Jimmy couldn't play basketball anymore? No problem, Marco would help him through. Spinner had lost all of his friends? Worry not, he was still there.
Everyone had burdened their problems on him, but whenever he had one it was as if he ceased in existence. Even when he was in the process of coming out, his friends hadn't been 100% behind his back as he had been in the past.
"No good deed goes unpunished, yeah?" he roared, flinging his pillow off the bed. He didn't care if he woke Ellie up. He was done being sympathetic and understanding. He was done being the 'good friend' who was always there for everyone all the fucking time no matter what the cost. All he wanted was for someone to return the fucking favor. It was common courtesy. Why the fuck was it so hard to get? After all, Marco was no different than the majority of the friends he had helped, except that he was, well, gay.
Reflecting a moment, he picked up his pillow and shoved it under his head. Perhaps that was why Marco had been so understanding. The 'gay' factor. He knew what it was like to be viewed as a freak, a sinner, immoral. He knew what it was like to felt alone and hated. And since he obviously hated those emotions, he never wanted his friends to experience them.
Maybe it was okay that he was the sympathetic one. The rock of his friends. They needed one, so that they would never feel as ostracized as he had. And it's not like they were complete assholes. After Ellie had woken up hung over the day after Dylan dumped him, she had cleaned up his room. That was a sweet, unsaid gesture. Looking back, he now remembered a lot of other times people had done similar things for him.
'Well aren't you a whiny bitch,' he mused, a bit annoyed with himself.
Marco abruptly got off his bed and exhaled away all the bad emotions. He wandered into the kitchen, made a cup of black coffee, grabbed three chocolate chip cookies, and placed them on Ellie's nightstand. She needed him now, and he would help her. It was simply just the way he was.