Cam seemed surprised to see me the next day. It didn't matter though since I was determined to get myself closer to the florist even if it meant surprising him every once in a while.
"I was inspired by your bouquet yesterday so I wanted to buy one for a friend." I told him after choosing the flowers for him to put together.
"Oh? And what's the occasion?"
"To congratulate Nori for getting a new boyfriend." That morning Nori had visited me at my house to deliver the new outfit for me. It was surprisingly quick and it was very beautiful with a pastel-colored pattern going around my waist. She told me it was a special service because I was the one who helped her get together with Hiro, in a way.
"Nori, huh?" Cam wondered aloud as he worked. "Isn't she the quiet, reserved type? The one with the long hair?"
"Huh, if you think she's quiet then what am I?" I asked in a sarcastic tone.
"How are you quiet? Once you get to talk about plants and botany you won't stop." Cam laughed mockingly at me yet I didn't feel offended. Somehow I felt happy that Cam thought of me that way which meant that I was easy to talk to, right?
"I'll take that as a compliment." Right after we talked about me being talkative, I soon ran out of topic to say.
"Say, you remember that time when me and Mikhail were at church?" Despite being able to talk freely like this with Cam, I was still curious as to why he was upset with me. He never talked about it so tried asking him.
"Ck, Mikhail. That guy just gets on my nerve. Lillian's been talking about him non-stop. I guess seeing him with you, of all people, bothered me. Sorry I took it out on you."
There was a mixed feeling going through my head right now. I felt liberated knowing that Cam didn't actually hate me but at the same time I was jealous that he mentioned Lillian. A certain feeling tugged at my heart, making a hole in a soil for a seed to grow: an evil seed that was trying to overtake me.
"So ... you're saying that you're jealous of Mikhail?"
I could hear a faint 'snap' of a flower being clutched too hard in Cam's grip. He definitely did not expect me to say that. "J-jealous? Why should I be?" he went to his flower collection to replace the flower that he broke. I secretly enjoyed seeing him acting flustered like that.
"It's your fault that you never made a move on Lillian." I started before remembering what Laney had mentioned the other day. "Or maybe you just ... need to be more honest about it. You seem like the kind of guy that would hide his feelings."
"W-what are you talking about?" To this, he turned beet red. There was no way that my bouquet would turn out right anymore; those poor flowers were all put together a bit haphazardly.
"Exactly my point. You don't tell her that you like her. What's so hard about that? You do that to your flowers all day." My mouth was running uncontrollably. The seed was growing into a thorny weed, overtaking me. It was sharp. It hurt as it wrapped itself around my heart. I knew that his love was one-sided. I knew that he'd be rejected. Yet there I was encouraging him to confess his feelings. Somewhere in my heart, I wanted Cam to be broken hearted so that I could be the one to be by his side.
The florist seemed to be out of words. His hands weren't moving anymore; his mouth was agape unsure of what to say. I felt that I needed to rescue him from the state he was in. Poor Cam. I never knew teasing him was so much fun.
"Alright. Why don't you take a break from work and come with me. Lillian's usually up on the mountain. Let's go and look for her." I took his hands away from the poor flowers and dragged him out to the mountain.
The animals ran off to the side to avoid running into us while a few of them looked on curiously. It was probably a bad idea for him. There was no way he would be ready to go up to Lillian and confess. I wasn't even sure why I was forcing him to do it. 'Am I really doing it so that I could be the shoulder he'll cry on? What if he wasn't rejected? What if Lillian has a crush on Mikhail but is actually in love with Cam? What if Cam managed to convince Lillian to get together with him? Am I really ready to hear Cam tell Lillian that he loves her?'
Halfway to the summit, I stopped dead on my track causing Cam to bump into me. "Why'd you stop?" he protested.
In truth, I wasn't ready. This plan could backfire at any moment and I did not want to be there to witness it. I turned around to face Cam, giving him the widest smile I could muster.
"On second thought ... maybe I shouldn't be there. You ... you go on ahead and ... just tell me right after. I'll be waiting for you at the flower shop." I looked down at hand, watching it twist around grabbing each other. I was trying to distract my mind with the pain that I was sending through my fingers. These were words that I just didn't want to have to tell Cam; words that felt stuck in my throat.
" ... Good luck with Lillian."
Cam stared at me for a while before he touched the end of his beret and nodded silently in thanks. He was giving me a gentle smile making me feel even worse that I had led him to a trap; like a fly on its way to a Venus flytrap. I was glued to the ground as I watched his back disappeared in between the trees. The anticipation was too much; I wanted to see what happened yet I was scared if all my fears were confirmed true. There was nothing that I could do but wait.
-x-x-x-
Time had surely past since Cam last left to do his deed. The animals had been approaching me because I hadn't moved from my spot. My emotion was still being jumbled up inside even though being in the middle of nature helped in keeping me calm. I flinched every time I heard a noise from the trees. I expected Cam appearing from the path all sad and sullen-or otherwise-but nothing had been showing up for the past hours. Worried thoughts began to crawl around once more.
'What's taking him so long? Are they talking? It's getting late ... maybe Cam went to Konohana? I should probably check on them ... but what if they're doing something I don't want to see? Then again, I'm bound to see something eventually.' The suspense was killing me so finally I gathered up my courage and searched for Cam.
The two of them really was at the summit under the tree to the left of the pond. As I became closer, it became clearer for me that Lillian was sleeping next to Cam. She had 3 pieces of flowers placed at the back of her ears that looked like a beautiful hair ornament—something that he must've made for her. Lillian looked so peaceful as she slept on her back. I wasn't sure if Cam had told her anything or if she'd rejected him. I studied Cam's facial expression but he was busy staring longingly at Lillian.
Cam brushed off Lillian's hair when a breeze blew some strands on her face and then, he began to lean forward.
At first I thought he only wanted to lie down beside the sleeping farmer but he moved his lips closer to hers. Cam might have moved in slow, he might have moved in fast. I wasn't sure anymore. My mind didn't seem to function at that point. All I remembered was that I let out a gasp.
"No!" I faintly cried. My hands immediately went up to cover my mouth but Cam had heard it and he turned towards the sound. And he saw me. Me: the stupid girl that had been encouraging him in the first place staring back in horror at him before everything began to blur from my tears.
"Reina!" He called out to me, flustered and panicked. It seemed that he was about to chase me but I didn't want him to. I didn't want to have to explain why I was there or why I had stopped him. I didn't want him to hear the pain in my voice or the lies that I'd be spitting out if I were to stay there. So I ran.
Halfway down the mountain I realized that running away wouldn't have made it better. Cam knew where I lived. If he was indeed keen on chasing me, he would simply found me in my house. If were I to refuse him, it would only arouse suspicion. I had to find a place to hide and my feet led me towards my little secret; towards my little wild plant that had been waiting to bloom.
When I arrived, I was not greeted by the usual bloom. Instead, a white fluff. A gentle, fragile being was standing there, trying to fight the breeze that was pushing it sideways. For a second, my mind went away from all the pain, to the botany book that I had read before. I remembered seeing such plant before. I had seen its name. I knew what it was. If I could remember correctly, the flower was called—
"Dandelion." I whispered.
And with that whisper, the pure whiteness started to fly away. The white seed, as it was mentioned in the book, released itself from its mother to grow and reproduce itself at another spot. At least, scientifically speaking, that was the explanation as to why the dandelion began to broke apart. However, with my current state of mind, all I saw was a depiction of my heart that was being crushed away.
"No. Wait." My voice became louder. "Wait, stay with me. Don't go." I desperately tried to grab the seed back, while my other hand tried to protect the flower. Instead, it ruffled it even more and more seed began to fly off.
"Come back! I'm sorry! Please, just don't—" My hand began to flap around in a sad attempt to collect the little pieces of my heart but I just ... couldn't ... hold on. It was breaking. It was blurry. It was painful.
Defeated, I rested my weight on my hand as I touched the ground to allow the tears to finally drip down my face. I didn't hold in my voice anymore. I cried. Bawled, even. The dandelion, despite being really beautiful, had been reduced to an empty green stem. There wasn't anything pretty about it anymore. It blended with the background. Nobody could've seen it. Nobody would've seen me.
Only me.
I was the only one in this world who saw ... me. Nobody ever had and nobody ever will.
Upon thinking that, my cries started to slowly turn into a chuckle. I began to wipe my wet face with my hand only to make it worse. Now my hands were wet and so was my face but I didn't care. Yes I didn't care and I never should have cared in the first place.
I laughed and laughed. I laughed at my stupidity: at my stupid self for falling in love, my stupid self for being controlled by the evil seed of jealousy, and at my stupid luck for being in a wrong place at the wrong time. Funny how the world worked. Even Harvest Goddess was playing a prank on me with its flower.
My body grew tired so I laid myself on the grass looking up to the sky. Who knew that laughing and crying was such a tiring thing to do. Here I thought that researching for days was tiring but apparently I was wrong. Not surprising anymore since I had been wrong with a lot of things.
"Dandelion." In my weird state of mind, I spoke whatever that came to mind. "Dandelion, you lucky turnip."
Oh how I wished I was a dandelion then I would be able to fly away from this place without so much as a glance backwards. Just a little trigger and poof I would go to the ends of the world. At least, if the world did have an end or if it did have a corner, I could then hide there from everything.
-x-x-x-
"...na..."
"...eina! ...ke up."
"REINA WAKE UP!"
A voice pulled me out from the dreamland that I was in. My eyes felt exhausted and heavy. It took a while for me to see Lillian's worried face only a few feet away. "Lillian? What are you doing here?" I asked groggily.
"What am I doing here? WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? Reina! You're sleeping in the forest!" Her voice rose in anger. Looking at the light that had disappeared from the sky, I understood why she would be angry at me.
"Good thing Cam told me to look for you, otherwise you'd be sleeping here the whole night probably."
Ah, that familiar pang in my heart appeared again when I heard the name mentioned. I tried to rub the pain off my neck from sleeping in a weird position. I even wiped my mouth just to make sure there was no lingering drool.
"So why were you here, Reina? You're not doing some weird ... experimentation observation occupation thing that you do, are you?"
"Ngh... no, I ... I don't think so. I guess I just fell asleep." I pulled myself up, ignoring the pain on my feet after, also, sleeping in a weird position. "All I remembered was the dandelion."
"Dandelion? I don't even—wait, look, people don't just fall asleep on mountains." The confused farmer was trying to look for more reason to scold me but seemed to be failing. How adorable.
"Hey, you fell asleep on a mountain too, and I'm sure Mikhail does as well." I reasoned as I wobbled my way towards Konohana.
"... That's true ... but at least we wake up!"
Her answers made me laugh for some reason and it was a genuine laugh. It was different from the laugh I had before because this one made me feel lighter. In fact, everything about Lillian made me feel lighter and happy. This was exactly why I couldn't be mad at Lillian. There was no way I could blame my broken heart on her. It wasn't even her fault in the first place since I was the one that asked for it. I got led into the jealousy road and took a bite. Perhaps I was the fly that was caught in the venus flytrap.
"You're right, Lillian. I'm sorry. I ... really am sorry."
Lillian looked at me with concern. Her mouth opened up to ask me something but she decided against it and kept her mouth shut. "As long as you promise you won't do it again."
"Oh-ho! No ... there is no way I'm going to do that again."
"Yeah, sleeping in the mountain takes talent. If Cam hadn't woken me up earlier, I would've been in pain all over my body. I don't know how Mikhail does it."
"Well, he does seem to have a few talents of his own. Maybe sleeping on mountains is one of them."
Our conversation went to a more normal course, joking about Mikhail and making up some other weird talent that he had; one of which was the ability to talk to animals.
"Seriously though. He seems to have more animal friends in the short time that he is here compared to me who greets them everyday. I mean, what is that?!"
"Lillian, I've seen you greet the animals and ... to be honest, it's not ... really a common way to greet them." I recalled the memories I had when passing Lillian on my way to the mountain. She'd chase an animal down, pick it up and throw it a few distances away. It was not surprising if the animal was taking its time to be close with the girl.
"But they seem to like it. At least my pets and chicken like them." The farmer girl pouted. In fact, some of the action that this girl did really brought questions about farming in general.
Suddenly I remembered that Lillian had been walking me home to Konohana yet she was living in Blubell. The village was already quiet so it must have been really late at night by now, maybe even past midnight but Lillian didn't mention about having to go home at all. It was my turn to be worried about her.
"You're not going home through the mountain at this hour, are you?"
"Probably not. I don't know. I was thinking of staying at the inn then I'll wake up early to take care of the crops here before heading back to Bluebell. But I'll do all that after I make sure you get home safely."
There didn't seem to be a hint of annoyance or tiredness in her voice that amazed me. If it were me, I wouldn't even bother bringing myself home, let alone looking for a lost sleeping me in the forest. I stared at the girl full of admiration and hugged her. This was the first time ever in my life to have made the first move to hug a person.
"Lil ... stay over at my place. We can sleep at my room together. We might have to share the bed but ... heck, take over my bed I don't care, just stay the night. I ... I have something to tell you."
Being hospitable was certainly not my strongest suit and that was proven by the shocked look of Lillian after I released her from my hug. Of course, I wouldn't have no for an answer. Lillian seemed to understand that or maybe she was just excited to have a sleepover. Whatever her reason was, she was quick to say yes.
So there we were, wearing similar pajamas with our hair loose giggling under the cover. Well, we weren't really giggling. At least, I wasn't but Lillian surely was.
"This is so exciting! Me and Reina, sharing stories in the middle of the night? Best night ever! I should mark this on my calendar." She turned herself towards me as she rested her head on her hand. "So how do we go about this?"
"Go about what?" I raised right eyebrow questioningly.
"This girl talk thing. Are you going to tell me a secret? Is it about love? Is this about your uncle? Or how about the two mayors?"
"Slow down, Lil. And keep your voice down. I don't want to wake Mako."
We went quiet for a bit while settling in that I could hear my heartbeat. There was so much I wanted to tell Lillian. So much I could tell her but ... I wasn't sure how much I should.
"Well ... first of all ... Nori got together with Hiro."
"Really?!"
"Shhh! Voice down!"
"Right! Sorry!"
'Boy, this was going to be a long night.' I thought, as I proceed to tell Lillian the story of Nori confessing to Hiro who apparently had mutual feelings towards her. She listened with the occasional squeal of excitement when I told her that they were hugging when I left them.
"Nori looked so happy when she came to my house this morning and that's why I went to Bluebell to buy flowers for her." The story slowly steered its way towards Cam and I was still debating on whether or not I should tell Lillian. I kept stealing glances at her wondering if she knew but she only showed me pure excitement. She was really being selfless listening to me like this. The least I could do was tell her the truth.
"Buying flowers was just a camouflage though since my real reason was to ... meet Cam." I swallowed. My senses were heightened to be able to pick up any signal from Lillian that would cause me to stop the story. Nothing alerted me so I moved on. "You see ... I'm actually ... I've been in lo ... I've liked him for a while now and ... I just wanted to see him."
Suddenly I felt Lillian grabbing my hand and squeezing it really tight. I got scared thinking that she was angry at me, or something, but her face told me otherwise.
"I knew it!" she whispered excitedly. "I had a feeling you two would fit each other. That's why I made you two meet and my actions were not in vain! So then what happened because if I remember correctly, Cam went to visit me at the summit yesterday."
Lillian showed no sign of knowing Cam's feeling towards her so I assumed that he never really did tell her. That made me a little bit relieved somehow. At least that means her happiness were still genuine—not that I ever doubted her happiness.
"Obviously because we're both ... plant lovers ..." I was trying to find a good reason for that without revealing Cam's true intention but it was so hard. I prolonged each words as my brain searched for possible answers. " ... and Cam was out of a certain flower ... so I told him to look for them on the mountains while I wait."
"So he made you wait on his booth while talking to me? Geez, that Cam. I didn't think he'd do that—"
"No, that's not it. No, I mean, I went with him to the mountain and ... wondered off. Maybe Cam went to meet you to ask where I was but then got distracted by ... something. But that doesn't matter, the thing is ... he already likes someone else."
I waited for a response from Lillian. It was a bit nerve wrecking; I wasn't sure if she'd suddenly talk about being confessed to by Cam or if she was just going to say that she knew about it all along or ... I didn't know what was going to happen and those seconds of waiting felt like an eternity.
"Who?" Lillian asked in disbelief. She didn't seem to know that Cam had feelings or would have feelings for anyone. Not that surprising.
Now I was in a tight spot. I looked at her and her face was back to the worried expression she had when she found me sleeping. It was probably 2 AM by now and I didn't want to prolong the conversation with another needless crying. Plus, it wasn't my secret to keep. It was Cam's.
"Sorry. It's not my place to say. You'll have to ask him yourself next time you see him. For now, let's just sleep."
"Wait! You haven't told me how you ended up sleeping there and ... well, to be honest, you looked like you've been crying." Apparently she noticed it and she had probably been dying to ask about it. Perhaps that was the reason why she stayed over tonight. I smiled appreciatively. She really wasn't a girl anyone could hate. Not even if she was my rival.
"It was the dandelion." I told her.
"Dandelion?"
"The flower I had been observing was apparently a dandelion and it was so short lived that I cried myself to sleep. I ... kinda saw myself in that flower. Weak and fragile."
The room went silent, only the sound of bed rustling and owls hooting outside. That was surely a depressing way to end the conversation. 100 points for social skills, Reina!
"I don't think you're weak at all." Lillian's soft voice filled the empty room. "You're talking to me about it. That's a show of strength because you're facing the problem. You're not running away from it ... and live in a town to start up a farm."
With only Lillian talking, there was no chance I had missed that information. Lillian was talking about herself and she was saying she ... ran away? That proved how much you didn't know about somebody until you actually get to know them. I turned to her to see, under the faint moonlight, Lillian giving me an understanding smile.
True. Life was hard on everybody. On Ina, whose husband has passed away; Ying had to be separated from her parents due to her health; Mako who had lost an eye; Howard who had to be both a father and a mother for Laney; the triplets who were struggling to open a shop in a small village like this; and even Lillian whose working on two farms. Nobody had it easy yet nobody complained. Everybody lived their life here in Konohana—even in Bluebell—without regretting their decision. I, too, needed to be like that. I needed to be strong.
"You're right. Even if I don't feel like it, I'm sure you're right." I mumbled sleepily back at Lillian. The two of us shared a smile before whispering our goodnights and went to bed.
AN:
Yay! See? I knew I could update with another chapter! ... well, considering that I was already halfway done when I wrote the previous one. I'm overflowing with inspiration! And the anticipation of seeing Cam and Reina together. Just get together already! Hahah.. Of course, I believe in character development .. and I try to write it in my story so ... it would still take a while before they do get together.
I wonder if I should make several short chapters or just write a few really long ones. I try not to go over 5000 words per chapter but ... would that be okay? Let me know!
Again, thanks for reading and reviewing :)