To Die Standing

Chapter 11

Ziva's usual grace was notably absent the following Monday morning. She looked exhausted and constantly tried to find time to rest. McGee tried to ask her what was wrong, but both Tony and Ziva brushed him off.

To cover up her sudden slow and weary state, Tony headed over to Ziva's computer where he did all the searches "with" her, though most of the time Ziva was leaning on her chair, on the table, or even on Tony in a desperate attempt to rest without actually doing so.

" You should go home." Tony whispered to her when Gibbs was not looking.

" No." Ziva said a little louder. " No, I'm fine."

Gibbs looked their way at this, and he grimaced a little before turning away again. Though Tony was cunning in his own right, Gibbs already knew what he was doing; discretely prolonging Ziva's stay by helping her as much as he could without seeming like he was taking over her work.

He will let Tony do it though. No reason why not. Ziva wanted to delay this as much as possible, he knew. Time will come when she will not be able to continue. This is her last case, after all.

Ziva fell asleep then, and not comfortable with waking her, Tony allowed her to rest while he silently continued his work. It was the quietest the group had ever been—usually mild insults and jokes would fly between the desks, but McGee was silent and Ziva was not awake to taunt him.

Damn you, Tony thought, not sure who he was cursing at. It shouldn't be Ziva. Shouldn't be Ziva, not Ziva.

Gibbs was tempted to let the case rest for the moment, just so Ziva could; it was inconceivable though, as the world cannot wait for Ziva. Very soon, his sharp command for information woke Ziva up again.

McGee gave her a worried look, but wisely kept quiet when Tony glared at him. It was a deep glare, harsher than his normal glares.

" I'm following a lead here, I'm not sure yet." McGee announced.

" Put it up." Gibbs ordered.

" Well, I'm not sure if it'll lead anywhere yet," McGee uploaded his monitor onto the screen. " But it's an illegal transport of tropical pets, I think from Brazil. According to the files, it's been going on for a while before they were caught. I have five names here," And the names were displayed on the screen, " These men were all involved."

" Where are they now?"

" Jail," McGee wrote the address, " Awaiting trial. They were caught last week."

" Let's talk to them." Gibbs glanced at the tired Ziva, who was fumbling a little with her backpack strap. Tony had moved over to his own desk. The older man's jaw clenched at how uncoordinated she had become. She was going to be a detriment to the team very soon, if not already; but right now he could allow her involvement. It was just an interrogation. She would probably feel better just being there, even if she did not do anything; leaving her here all by herself was out of question.

oO

The interrogations were unsatisfactory, and Gibbs came back in an irate mood. He went to Abby's lab with a Caf-Pow hoping she would have something for him, even though she had not called him. Instead of finding her working, though, he found her browsing WebMD, looking up things like Huntingtons disease, muscular dystrophy, and stranger ones like spinal cerebellar ataxia.

" Abby, what are you doing?" He asked.

Abby whirled around in her chair, her pigtails flying. " Okay, so you know how Ziva's been weird lately? Well of course you know, you're her boss. I'm just so worried, because she's been getting sick-looking, and an hour ago while I was running the machines I suddenly had a horrible horrible thought: what if she's all weird because she was sick? But then if she's just sick with a cold or something she would just tell us wouldn't she I mean that sort of thing is," she took a breath, " not exactly something you would keep to yourself and you'd just ask for a day off and then you come right back or you give someone a head's up I mean, " She took another breath, " She wouldn't be so secretive that not even Tony knows what's going on. So then I thought, maybe it was something more serious, and then I suddenly got really scared and I must must must must make sure that Ziva doesn't have one of those things." She pointed at the screen.

Gibbs felt breathless just listening to her, but then he could count a number of times when that has happened before. Now though, he stared at the screen, wondering how to approach Abby and whether or not he should let her know just how close she was to the truth.

" Abby," He said quietly, " Shouldn't you be working?"

" But Gibbs, I'm worried about Ziva!"

Gibbs studied her for a long time. " Get to work, Abby." He said in a gentle, yet firm tone. " Ziva's in good hands."

Abby looked at him with what could only be termed as puppy-eyes. " Promise?"

Gibbs held out the Caf-Pow, before turning around silently and walking away.

Supposing it were Abby. She was always so lively too. Abby with her hugs and that slight hop in her gait.

Supposing it were his daughter. His long lost daughter. She would have been full-grown by now, younger than Ziva, but with the same vivacity, perhaps, had she lived. All the hopes and dreams, the goals, the romances, the prince charmings yet to come. SMA usually targets the young, during childhood. All those dreams, crippled instantly. It is tougher to cope with broken hopes when they were formed already, than when such dreams were not born yet. Gibbs found himself hoping that Ziva had many friends back in Israel. If she did not, he was not sure he wanted her to go home.

It did not matter who else it could have been. If anyone he cared about had been struck by this, Gibbs would not feel better or worse than he did.

Gibbs, I have to talk to you.

Yes Ziva?

I have SMA.

Ziva David was a grown woman. She could take care of herself. She could do anything that could be done by one person. How many things in life cannot, after all?

One last case. That is all I ask.

I can't let you do this.

I killed my brother for you! I risked my family, my honor, for your life! You owe me! You owe me more than this, but this is all I am asking! One last case!

" Boss, I found something that might be a clue to what's going on." McGee began when Gibbs came back upstairs. He bit his lip before continuing. " Apparently, our marine and pilot went to the same elementary school."

Gibbs considered this. " That's definitely a possible connection. Which elementary school, and where?"

" Some school in New York City." Said McGee, bringing the school up. " It was in Brooklyn. A long shot, but it's a start."

" Alright McGee. You're coming with me." Gibbs looked over to where Tony and Ziva were. Ziva looked really pale. She really should not be here. He would simply send her home, but knowing that Ziva lived alone, he hesitated. As McGee grabbed his bookbag, Gibbs stood for a moment, considering the two.

So much for never dating co-workers.

In reality, Ziva was hardly going to hinder any progress by staying here. Tony could keep an eye on her, as well as the rest of NCIS. However, the director would notice if she keeps this up. NCIS agents were not supposed to fall asleep at their desks. He could just give Tony the reins and let the young man decide for himself, but…

" Uh, Boss?" McGee inquired. " Should we go?"

The team watched in bewilderment as their boss visibly struggled with the decision being made.

" Behave yourself, DiNozzo." He managed, before walking briskly to the elevator. " McGee! Hurry up!" He snapped, when McGee remained behind, staring at Tony and Ziva in confusion. With a start, McGee hurried after his leader, while Tony looked after the two.

Ziva just looked blankly in front of her.

Behave myself? Tony thought, puzzled. He stood there for a full minute in order to say that?

" I think I better go home." Ziva suddenly said from beside him. " I'm not feeling well."

Tony suddenly realized why Gibbs had been so reluctant to leave. He had no idea living, breathing people could actually feel cold. There was a tremble to her hands, though they were lying limply on table, in front of the keys. Perhaps the emotional strain on the previous day had exhausted her?

" Okay." He rubbed Ziva's shoulders. " I'll take you home. Come on."