Armin

On the way out of the cabin I look for Cyrena. With her long black hair it's kind of hard to tell who she is from behind. I spot her sitting at a table by the door with Mina and Annie, she's sitting on the edge of her seat listening intently to whatever it is Mina is saying. I didn't get a good look at her yesterday, almost everything about her was obscure in the darkness but now I see her clear as day. She has pale skin, but not so pale that it looks lifeless. And her black/brown hair hangs loose down her back in waves, except for two braids on top of her head. Her eyes, from here, they're the color of the salty sea. A dull blue-green combo, exactly how the book describes it. She is inarguably the most beautiful girl I've ever seen, something born from a dream. And she wears a very expensive looking embroidered blouse. It's white with a diverse plethora of flowers stitched along the neckline, which sits low enough on her chest to expose to top part of her breasts. I quickly avert my eyes back to her face, feeling the heat rise to my cheeks. She's pretty busty for a girl her age, there's no denying that.

Shut up now. I think. The blouse hangs loose on her body like a small tunic, and from there she wears a standard grey skirt and shoes. I didn't realize I was staring until I approach the table and Mina looks at me. She must've said something because now I have Cyrena's eyes on me. She smiles when sees me, and it makes me feel immortal.

"Hey Armin." She says, her voice is friendlier than it was the day before.

"Hey." I respond, that's about all I have to say. For the first- second- time in my life I am utterly speechless. I just keep staring at her smile, I didn't know a face could be so perfect. It's really not fair.

"Are you okay?"

"Yea I'm good. Why wouldn't I be?"

"Your face is red." Cyrena says, and Mina giggles.

"You look like a tomato." Mina adds, Cyrena looks at her friend and smiles, but she doesn't laugh. I open my mouth retort but then I hear Eren's voice.

"Armin, let's get a move on." He says.

Something changes on Cyrena's face, her smile disappears. She tries to cover it by sipping her water.

"Duty calls." I say quickly. She nods at me, mouth full of liquid.

"Let me know if you need anything." She says when she swallows.

"I will do that." I say and then head for the door but I stop Midway. "Actually," I spin around, "There is something you can do for me."

Cyrena

Armin wanted me to help Eren with the ODM's. Truth be told I only barely understand them myself, in a convenient level of mediocrity. Even if I could teach him, I'm not sure I'd want to. The way he looked at me yesterday, it was stubborn and pretentious. I don't think he's anything more than a loud-mouth bragger-tough-guy-wannabe pretending not to be as piss scared as the rest of us. That being said, I do feel a twinge of guilt. I don't like being unable to help people, assholes and friends alike. So seeing Eren's face at dinner, his tender vulnerability, pinched my gut like a bad memory. But at the end of the day it's not my problem. He's not my problem. I came here with one goal: Join the Scouts, fix my family. Anything outside of that range is obsolete, including, and especially, Eren Jaeger.

I did, however, out of the goodness of my heart recommend someone who can help. Bertolt and Reiner seemed to really gain the attention of the Dean. Other than Mikasa Ackerman I'd say they were the best.

Now I'm in my living quarters, which I share with all girls. This girl named Annie Leonhart, she hasn't said a word since yesterday and has a quiet aloofness that is quite unsettling; Mikasa Ackerman, also very quiet, doesn't say much to anyone but Eren and Armin, she amazes the School board with her immeasurable skill, she amazes me, too, and probably everyone else. There's also Mina, to my pleasure, and a few girls that are out. Krista Lenz, Ymir-something, and Sasha, poor Sasha. I think Annie and Ymir are former refugees, too, witnesses to the Titan Attack a couple of years ago, I don't know if they were from Shiganshina, though. I know Mikasa was, her, Arlert and Jaeger are the "Shiganshina trio", which is a little insulting given I've made it adamantly clear that I hail from Shiganshina, too. Recognition, however, is out of my goals range. It doesn't matter how much I matter, I just want to get through these three years and finish in the top ten.

Annie lay in her bed facing the wall, Mikasa is under my bunk so I don't know what she's doing, but she's silent. I let Mina braid my hair while trying to write a letter to the Lous. The longer I try to write, the less creative I get. It's actually quite irritating, and very discouraging. On my lap sits a book and a blank paper, and the ghost of words I cannot conjure. Eventually I give up and start listening to Mina talk about miscellaneous things, her family, Karaness, why she's joining the military. She says she hopes for placement in the military police, like most other cadets, but if she doesn't get placement she'll be fine.

"Only the top ten get to serve in the MP, and the odds aren't really in my favor. I'd like to live in the interior but I can't imagine I'll be in the top ten." She explains. I like Mina's company. She's honest but not in a repulsive way. She's always smiling unless she's in the ranks, and she's so…normal. Girly, I mean. When I'm with her I can open up and stop being the serious, tortured soul. It's like I get to be that normal girly girl I would have been had circumstances not dictated otherwise. It's a relief, it's almost unreal.

"I think you could make the cut." I say.

"Really?" she runs a brush through my hair and the slight pressure on my scalp makes me spine tingle.

"Of course I do. You start by wanting it, and then you give it your all, like you have no other options. And that's how you win." I rephrase what my mother told me when I said I wanted to teach everyone in the world how to read. I wanted to write stories and share them with the outer walls. That was when I thought I could change the world, which was before the world changed me.

"I don't know…" Mina sounds unsure, I try a different approach.

"You can have my spot if I make it in the top ten. I'm not going to the MP." I say. She makes a sound of disbelief.

"What? Why would you turn down the MP? What could be more- "she stops? She must know, or at least she have a theory.

"You're gonna join the Scouts?" her voice waivers like she's not sure if she's right, or like she doesn't want to be right. I nod, her hands are squeezing my hair and it hurts, but I don't say anything.

"Why?" she asks. I feel a giant weight settle over my heart. In a flash the world is replaced by these images. I see a suitcase by the door and shattered glass shards on the floor. Then it looks like I'm under a bed, Oby stumbles in the room with a bottle in his hand. He's looking for me. Everything has a fuzzy edge to it…

"I uh…" I don't know if I should tell her the Commander of the Survey Corps is actually my father and that he left us five years ago to be a Scout. I can't tell her that my mother died and I lived in an orphanage in Shiganshina; that I'm really from a city within Wall Rose, my life just has terrible, terrible timing. But I want to. She makes me want to tell her things, but I don't want to depress her. I don't want to dull her shine with my dull life. So I do what any good person would do, I lie.

"I just want to see outside the walls."

Kind of lame ending but I figured this was getting too long. I should have the next chapter up really soon, though. Hold tight!