I burst through the door to my family's home desperate to escape to the peace and solitude of my room. Unfortunately I found Jasper and Emmett engrossed in their never ending game of chess with Rosalie thumbing through her latest fashion magazine, her head in Emmett's lap. I attempted to sneak past them, hoping the look on my face would be enough to keep their questions at bay.

'My my it smells like somebody has been naughty'

I could hear Rosalie's thoughts taunting me as I turned to go up the stairs.

"Rose…don't…not tonight" I quietly pleaded with her

"Yeah Rose, leave the kid…My God what is that smell!!??" Emmett's voice boomed brining unwanted attention to myself

"Ha…it smells like SOMEBODY has been cavorting with a H-U-M-A-N" Rosalie purred as she circled around me

"Anyone we know, bro? Emmett trying to pull Rosalie into his lap as he spoke

My answer was interrupted by Alice's high pitched squeal

"Oh my god!!!!!! Is Bellaaaaaaa…." Her voice trailing off as she entered the room to find me alone

'That's odd, I could have sworn I smelled Bella down here…in fact I still do…Oh god Edward, you weren't…'

Alice silently questioned as I looked down in shame

"I….I….uh…uh…well" I stammered as Rosalie's laughter pierced the room

"Oh my god, how much more pathetic can you get!?"

"Rose…"Emmett once again warned her…no doubt remembering my earlier display of rage

"No, I'm tired of having to walk on eggs shells because Edward 'isn't doing well'. He made his choice! HE LEFT HER" She exaggerated her last words, making sure that they stung

"You wouldn't understand" I growled eye blackening as I slowly moved towards her

"What is there to understand? YOU LEFT and now you're sneaking into her room watching her like some sad sick pervert. Don't try and deny it! Why else would you come home reeking of her!"

"Maybe you're just too self centered to see things from my point of view Rose. What if the situation was reversed? What if this was you and Emmett was the human asleep in that room!? What then!!??"

The anger in my voice shaking the walls. I wasn't sure how much more I could take. I was seconds away from sending her body flying through the glass wall that made up the back of our house.

"That would never happen!" Rosalie asserted a cruel smile playing at her lips as she moved slowly behind Emmett, no doubt anticipating my attack.

"If it were me, I would have changed him when I had the chance and even if I hadn't I…would…have…NEVER…left!!! You see Edward, this is how we are different. I may be as vain and self-absorbed as you claim, but I would die before I gave up the one thing that I truly loved"

Her last words cut through me like a thousand daggers ripping apart my soul. I crumpled to the floor watching helplessly as she flicked her long hair over her shoulder and sauntered out of the room with Emmett following dutifully behind her.

In an instant Alice and Jasper were at my sides, trying to lift me up from the giant heap I had become on the floor.

'That was a low blow'

'She didn't mean it, you know how she feels about the Bella situation'

'She's just jealous that you never fell to pieces over her'

Unfortunately no matter how hard they tried, their thoughts would be of no comfort to me tonight…I'm not sure anything would ever comfort me again. I was a broken man and the only thing that would ever piece me back together was the one thing I could never have again.

"Edward…" Alice prodded gently

'Please get up…you can't live this way. Seeing you this way is killing us all. Please consider it Edward…Please…you aren't the only one who misses her…'

I looked up in Alice's small pleading eyes. A small crease forming into her brow. Sorrow and anguish apparent on her elfish face.

"Alice, what would you do? Even if I wanted to she probably wouldn't let me back in. I've hurt her too much. The wounds are too deep" I whispered

Suddenly I was blinded by flashes in Alice's mind

Bella laying in a heap in the middle of her bed, clutching her pillow. Loud sobs quaking from within her. My name evident in between the heaving cries.

Then a page filled with Bella's cramped hand writing.

'When he left he took a part of my soul and all of my heart. Those are pieces of myself that I will never see again. Nobody will ever get to me the way he has. I will love him and only him, forever…'

Another page

'You promised. You said you would never leave. I should have known I could never keep you here. I was too plain, too boring, and too ordinary. I knew you would eventually grow tired of being my knight in shining armor. You we're too extraordinary, too perfect. Now I am doomed to spend the rest of my days haunted by the memory of you. The only love I will ever know. The only thing that will ever matter to me. Life holds no more joy for me now that you are gone. Sometimes I think that there is nothing left to live for, nothing to look forward to. You asked me to take care of myself for Charlie and because you asked, I will do just that , but nothing more. I am only still here because he needs me and because a small part of me still holds out hope. As pointless of a hope as it may be, it keeps me going. It keeps me alive even though every part of me is missing every part of you; as it will be forever.

I stared at Alice for a long time. I wanted to be angry with her but at the moment the only emotion I could conjure was shock; pure shock.

"You aren't the only one who checks in on her either"

"You read her diary!? Alice how could you!?" I'm sure I would be crying if the monster that I was could cry. Tears would be a relief from the pain and anguish that my body held in. However, tears were a relief that I did not deserve At this moment the only thing I deserved was death and I wished for it with everything that I had.

"You needed to see what a mistake you were making. I wanted you to realize that she was never going to move on like you wanted her to. You are her only love and always will be" Alice's voice was soft but stern.

"You don't know that!" My voice sharper than I had intended it to be

"Humans are fickle. They aren't like us, their minds change daily. She could meet someone tomorrow who could make her forget that I ever existed…" even as I spoke the words I prayed silently to myself that they would never come true.