"Toby. Seriously you need to relax my little Peach Bottom. You know your presentation will be fine and the more anxious you get, the less you will sleep and the crankier you will get and then…"

"Yes. Thank you Damita"

Tim tried not to be curt but he was already exhausted and the operation had only just started. How on earth did one pay attention to everything ALL the time? What was that? Was that important?

Tim pulled the blankets in tighter. Why did Hotel sheets always just feel so wrong? Even nice expensive Hotels. Wait he had checked in under the right name hadn't he? He must of otherwise Ziv….Damita would have mentioned something. Damita, Damita, Damita. Had he eaten anything this evening? Was that why his stomach was making that sound or was it just nerves? Was he charging his laptop ready for tomorrow? What should he wear…not wait scratch that what would Toby wear for the first day of the conference tomorrow?

Peanuts. He had eaten some peanuts and something else because he could taste them. Wait did that mean he hadn't brushed his teeth? No…no he had. Just not very well because there was this little bit of peanut stuck in his back tooth.

Damn this pillow just would NOT make itself comfortable. What was he supposed to do now that he was in bed with Ziv…Damita? Should they fake sex like the loving couple they were supposed to be or could he just pretend to be tired from the trip? How did you fake sex anyway?

Tim frowned anxiously and bit his lip. He should have asked Tony about that. Moan and roll around a lot? Mess up the bed a bit? Tip half a box of condoms around the room and bang the headboard?

Ziva frowned and crept closer to Tim in the large bed where he lay rigid, practically emanating waves of tension like radiation. And like radiation it was something that could eventually kill them both.

She reached out to touch him and got a little higher than she expected, her warm hand sliding over his silky boxer clad hip.

"Arrgghhhhhh" Tim shot out of the bed sideways and fell on the floor with a loud thud.

*******************************************************************

"Hey I have to say this is a pretty cool set up you have here Jake." Tony said appreciatively as he munched on a sandwich and peered over Jakes shoulder inspecting the array of monitors and computers that had been set up as the surveillance hub.

"Hey watch the crumbs! You guys at NCIS might use a tin can and string but over here at the FBI we use sensitive e q u i p m e n t so please don't bugger it up"

Jake dramatically brushed bits of sandwich off his shoulder and flicked them onto the floor.

"Yeah yeah show off. Hey what's that for?" Tony asked pointing at a small battered whiteboard that was currently blank and leaning on a table by the door. It seemed to stand out in the large equipment filled room as being remarkably low tech.

"Ahh" Jake said. "That is a kind of a tradition we have over here at the FBI. We write up the best, craziest, stupidest comment that we overhear during surveillance on the board and at the end of the Op the best one is stuck onto a T-shirt."

Tony grinned and his eyes sparked "So what's the best t-shirt you have?"

Jake looked thoughtful and then grinned back "What the hell are the two dead triplets doing in the back of the spaceship Mike?"

Tony laughed "Oh yeah you have to tell me the story of THAT one."

Jake tried to look serious "I don't know if it's classified or not?"

Tony smiled and held out his hands appealingly "Come on! I have clearance too you know"

Jake smiled "Ok. But it's a long story…."

Tony grinned "You know I think I'm going to like working with you Jake"

"Opps hold on there……something's going on in the room"

Jake pulled up the sound from the background he was listening to through his earphones and with a quick tap on his key board increased the volume.

"Argghhhhhhh"

THUD!

*******************************************************************

Ziva cursed and climbed out of bed talking loudly hoping to reassure those she knew to be watching the room that everything was ok. She did NOT want the door kicked in by Federal Agents when all they had managed to do was check in, get changed and go to bed.

"Oh Fluffy Bunny! You forgot your glasses again didn't you? You know I think you are as blind as a bat sometimes."

Tim blinked up at her from the floor before he remembered his part "Oh yes I did. Um sorry. I tripped over……the bed…with my feet. When I lay down"

Ziva tried not to roll her eyes as she hauled on his arm and pulled Tim back into bed.

***************************************************************
Tony laughed "Oh please allow me the honor?"

Jake smiled "Well of course"

Tony wrote up on the whiteboard

I tripped over the bed with my feet. When I lay down

Jake nodded "Not bad for a start but we have a long way to go yet."

*******************************************************************

Ziva curled herself in tight next to McGee, pulled the blankets up over the two of them, grabbed his t shirt he was wearing tightly in her small fist and whispered fiercely into his ear so she couldn't be overheard.

"Right McGee. You listen to me. You need to calm down. You are going to make your self sick! And you are going to make this much harder than it needs to be. Just relax ok?"

"Relax?" Tim whispered angrily and very quietly back "How am I supposed to do that? This might be a walk in the park for you but this is all new to me. Besides you touched me. Excuse me if it surprised me a bit. How about a little warning next time for anything below the waist?"

Ziva sighed out her exasperation, knowing that getting cross with McGee wasn't going to help the situation. She released his t shirt and instead put her hand on his arm before she whispered quietly.

"McGee. It is me Ziva. I am your friend and I am here to help you. We are supposed to be married. We are supposed to be in love and I can't give you a warning every time I touch you. I am sorry I surprised you like that though. I forgot how tall you are. Forgive me?"

Tim sighed quietly into the dark peaceful blanket burrow they had made together.

"Of course I forgive you Ziva. Besides it was my fault. I shouldn't have freaked out like that."

Ziva was about to respond when Tim shifted next to her. His voice when she heard it was vulnerable and sad as he whispered into her ear.

"Ziva? I have a confession. I don't think I'm going to be very good at this. I always thought that I could do it. You learn the techniques and the procedures and you have your Intel and off you go. But so far it's not proving to be quite what I thought it was."

Ziva frowned and considered how she could convince Tim of his own abilities when he was always his worst critic.

"Tim. You are doing great. Really. You have learnt a lot of information on a lot of difficult subjects in a very short time. You just need to stop worrying so much and just let being Toby Wilson happen. I am here with you and I have been undercover many times. I will help you every step of the way. If you like I will teach you everything I know?"

Tim smiled softly next to her "That would be great Ziva"

"Ok let's start at the very beginning. Undercover 101. You need to get your head around this quickly. Now we will be spending a lot of time together and you need to get used to me being near you. And I'm not talking about being across the room or in an elevator together. I mean eating together, sleeping together, watching television, talking about our day, sharing a bathroom, getting changed in the same room. If one of us snores, drools on our pillow, burps or passes wind that is just natural and nothing to be ashamed of ok?"

Tim was suddenly horrified at the idea that he might……

"Ziva, I will not be…..passing wind in front of you!"

Ziva was so close to Tim he could feel her smile curling up his neck.

"You are not going to pass wind for five days McGee?"

"No" Tim whispered back confidently. He would rather burn in hell than have Ziva hear him …. well fart.

"Won't that actually make you ill?" Ziva teased tickling him slightly in the ribs hoping that she might be able to coax a smile out of him. Perhaps she could make him relax this way?

Tim squirmed embarrassed as he whispered 'I will not be passing wind in front of you Ziva. Let's just leave it at that"

"Fine then."

Ziva looked thoughtful and then she stuck her head out from the covers and blew a massive loud raspberry into the air before giggling and ducking back under them again.

Phhhhhhbbbbbbbbbb

Tim looked shocked "Z..Damita!"

"What?" Ziva peered at Tim wide eyed and innocent from right next to his face.

Tim dropped his voice back down to a tiny muffled whisper again. Oh my God. Imagine if Tony was listening to this!

"Don't do THAT! Anyone listening might think…well you know what they might think."

"Oh come on Toby. It's funny. Really where has your sense of humor gone?" Ziva pulled down the blankets again and sticking her tongue out tried for another raspberry.

Phhmmbbbttt

Ziva grinned into the dark and pursing her lips together made a high pitched squeaky sound. Tim growled and tried to muffle her with a pillow smothering her flatulent noises but Ziva's laughter and wriggling was making it difficult for Tim to suffocate her. Soon he found himself laughing too and he peeled back an edge of the large pillow covering much of Ziva's small frame.

"Ok..ok Damita my Little Princess what will it take to make you stop being silly and let me sleep? Tomorrow is an important day for me even if you get to spend it shopping."

Tim found he was smiling as he pulled the pillow off Ziva who was giggling at his amateur attempt to suffocate her.

"A joke. I want you to tell me a joke. I want you to laugh and relax at least once before you go to sleep. You will feel better for it in the morning. Oh and I want your t-shirt off as well my beautiful Fluffy Goose. You know you get too hot to sleep well in it."

Ziva felt Tim tense up beside her and she flicked his ear impatiently before dropping her voice down into a tiny whisper.

"Now before you panic….You can keep the boxers on but I think the t-shirt as well is a bit much. Besides it's good to do something you WOULDN"T normally do as it reminds you that you are a character that you are playing. It is often easier to be someone else than to alter yourself. Consider that lesson 102."

Tim considered this wisdom for a moment, sighed and then peeled off his t-shirt and dropped it to the floor.

Ziva smiled and with a congratulatory kiss on his cheek purred "Ummmm I love it when you strip for me Tobylicious"

Tim blushed as he felt Ziva's hand pat his arm and then move slowly across his bare chest. Ok no sudden moves. Her warm hand moved in soothing circles across his chest and then just as he was starting to relax and enjoy it she withdrew.

"There now that wasn't so bad was it?"

Tim smiled up at the ceiling "No."

"Ok Tobykins I want to hear my joke now. Then I will let you go to sleep and dream of genius things."

Tim furrowed his brow trying to remember a joke that didn't have a chicken crossing the road in it.

"Uh ok why does Barbie never get pregnant?"

Ziva tried to consider an answer other than the obvious one. That Barbie couldn't get pregnant because she was an inanimate plastic doll.

"I don't know"

"Because Ken always comes in another box."

Tim blushed as he realized he had told Ziva a dirty joke. There was a split second of silence from Ziva and then she burst out laughing. Soon Tim couldn't help himself and he found he was laughing along with her as tears streamed down her face and she gasped for air, twisting around in the blankets.

"Because . He. …in a Box! I get it! "

*******************************************************************

Gibbs stepped into the Surveillance room.

"So how is our couple settling in?"

Jake took off his ear phones and addressed Gibbs seriously.

"We had a scream. A thud. No alert words used. And then after an initial bout of what sounded like terrible flatulence they are now laughing and giggling and telling each other rude jokes sir"

Gibbs raised an eyebrow at Tony

"Flatulence?"

Tony nodded authoritatively "Probie. It's the nerves"