Title: What Was and What May Possibly Be?
A Dean/Jo Supernatural Story
This is an alternate universe fan fiction and is based on the storyline premise and monster from the "What Is and What Will Never Be" episode of season two! This author is in no way associated with the writers and/or producers of the Supernatural show and all characters belong to the awesome Eric Kripke and his associates. No copyright infringement is intended.
On a sad note, I just heard of the passing of Kim Manners. His presence will be sorely missed from the show. Rest in peace Kim and blessings of comfort go out to your family and friends.
The story is told in the first person from the POV of Jo Harvelle.
Chapter Ten: Reality Bites!
Despite a wonderful evening of "family" bonding, I slept terrible through the night. Even as I laid in the comfort of my "husband's" embrace, my REM sleep was constantly interrupted by bizarre and confusing dreams. I could hear indistinct but familiar voices calling my name as if trying to get my attention. Their voices were interrupted by images of the Djinn and that wounded girl I found in the warehouse. They were constantly flashing through my mind along with the faces of my family both past and present. Dean's face, both tender and stern, L'il Sammy's face laughing, Mom and Bobby's faces frowning and Chuck's face scowling. I remember seeing the face of the real Sam Winchester. His gentle yet serious expression was so vibrant in my dreams. Last but not least, I dreamt of Ash with his devil may care swagger. God he could be such an ass sometimes but he's like a brother to me...wait a minute. Where the hell is Ash in my new life? Crap! I'm almost afraid to know the answer to that.
I suddenly feel Dean start to stir next to me. I snuggle closer trying to savour the comfort and satisfaction of waking up to a naked Dean Winchester and this time actually knowing it's him. This will all be over soon enough. I know this because it has to be. It's been wonderful to pretend for awhile but it's not real. Bobby kept his promise and didn't say anything to Dean last night about the new information I discovered. I'll have to tell him today though. I'm going to need their help figuring out how to fix before the Djinn drains me dry and I don't exist anywhere.
Even though I can't see his face, I feel Dean's eyes open the moment he awakes.
"Hey, you asleep?" he asks softly.
"No. I've been up for awhile," I reply.
"You alright?" he questions kissing me gently on the forehead.
"Not so much."
"You found something out yesterday didn't you? Bobby knows too doesn't he?"
My silence confirms his suspicions.
"I knew you guys were acting weird when we got home. Why didn't you say anything?" He sounds frustrated and a little pissed off.
"I just wanted one more night before reality set in," I explain.
"What reality is that?"
"This is not my life Dean. It's just a fantasy and back where my actual body does exist, I'm dying. If I don't find a way to get back soon, I won't have a reality anywhere. Djinns are genies Dean just like we thought. One of the texts you found in Bobby's room said they feed on human blood. They survive by draining their victims as slow as possible to preserve their food source for longer periods of time. The humans don't resist because the Djinns create an alternate reality for them to temporarily exist in. Why would you want to fight against a dream life that was better than the one you actually lived in? It's ingenious really. Things are never perfect though," I say thinking of Dean's brother. I pause, knowing I need to ask him about Ash but afraid of what his answer will be.
"I have to ask you about something."
"You can ask me anything Jo. I would never lie to you," he says.
"It's about Ash. It's just...well no one's mentioned him here. He wasn't at the house for my birthday but I guess I just figured he was in charge of the bar or something. Then I remembered that Ash never misses an opportunity to eat Mom's cake." I'm babbling and Dean knows it. He patiently waits for my question.
"Where is he Dean?"
"He's gone Jo. I'm sorry. The Roadhouse...it burned over a year ago. It wasn't an accident. The demons...they knew we were onto something and with Ash looking into the signs my Dad figured could track Yellow Eyes, he became a target. There was nothing anyone could do. You're mom went out for pretzels and when she came back a half hour later, the whole place was up in flames. She was lucky she wasn't there. It happened just before Sam..." he stops knowing he can't continue that statement.
"I guess that's why your mom got the notion she wanted a normal life. Ash's death was hard on her. She blamed herself. Hell she blamed Sam and me for awhile but eventually got over that. Your unwavering support of the Winchester brothers really helped with that. Anyway, your mom decided to rebuild the Roadhouse and that's how she met Chuck. He set up her new security system. It's kind of ironic that's what he does," Dean offers as an afterthought.
"Ash is like my brother. I should have asked about him sooner. Maybe subconsciously, I knew something was wrong." A world without our "brothers"... I guess no matter how good things can be they are never perfect.
"One good thing came out of all that," Dean says as if reading my thoughts. "It brought you and me together. I fought it of course but you were smart enough to smack some sense into me. Well that and kissing me senseless did the trick." I smile at this. God he really is a wonderful man!
"I should tell you something else Jo...about the situation now I mean. I found something out too," he admits with a sigh.
"What do you mean?"
"It was in one of the texts we looked at together the other night. It wasn't specific to the Djinn so I didn't think it was important at the time but...well it talked about altered realities."
"Okay."
"The research suggested that time moves slowly for persons living in the alternate reality."
"Meaning..?"
"Meaning that even if you're alive for a short time in your actual life, the alternate reality you live in would feel like well...forever. Think about it Jo! If you wanted you could stay here and experience an entire lifetime with me and L'il Sammy and our baby." He engulfs me in his comforting embrace. "Maybe your mom is on to something wanting her life to be normal. We could finally quit hunting. I mean think about all the people we've saved. Don't we deserve some kind of reward for all that?" Dean proposes.
"Could you do it? Give up hunting?" I ask shocked that he would even suggest it.
"If it meant that we could be safe and happy...yes I could do it in a heartbeat," Dean responds.
Wow my "husband" is really pulling out all stops! Right then and there, I see the difference between the real Dean Winchester and the fantasy one my brain has cooked up. There is absolutely no way the real Dean could ever give up hunting! Without it, he just wouldn't be whole. My thoughts are interrupted as fantasy Dean continues to argue his case.
"I was offered a job yesterday at the car show. I guess mechanics that specialize in repairing classic cars are few and far between these days. I met this guy who said I could easily make a living at it. He was this rich old eccentric dude who offered to help me set up shop. Bobby could buy in too if he wanted and with regular money coming in, you'd be free to do whatever you wanted Jo. You could stay home and take care of our kids, even have your own career if you wanted one."
Wow! Did I want a career? I mean I went away to school to figure that out but came home because I knew I didn't belong there. Before I met L'il Sammy, I didn't even know if I wanted to be a mom. This experience has definitely made me realize that I do.
I suppose it's my dad's fault that I wanted to be a hunter. All of my memories of him put him on some kind of pedestal. He was my hero growing up, still is. The fact that my mom was always so dead set against my following in his footsteps, didn't exactly deter me from the idea either. Stubbornness apparently runs in the Harvelle family because even with Dean, my mother and everyone else trying to talk me out of this miserable life, hunting is all I've ever wanted to do. It's become a part of me. I guess in a weird way, it is my career. Go figure I would chose one that makes me absolutely no money and constantly puts my life in danger! The real Dean would never believe it but we're more alike that he cares to admit.
As if sensing my hesitation, my "husband" adds one more compelling argument.
"Jo I love you. I know you don't think that it's real but it is for me. Alternate reality or not, I want to wake up next to you every morning and go to sleep with you beside me every night. Look, I know how much helping people means to you, me too. We wouldn't have to give up hunting all together, just enough so we can have a more well rounded life. You said it yourself that even now the life you have here is a helluva lot better than the one you actually live."
Ouch...I guess the truth hurts!
"Please tell me you'll at least think about it," he pleads.
The way Dean lays his heart open to me, breaks mine even more than I can imagine. Hearing those words, I can't help but tell him what he wants to hear because I want it too.
"Of course I will," I promise him touching his face and placing a gentle kiss on his lips. "Look, it's still early and no one's up yet. I'm going to take a drive and think all this through. I won't be gone long and then I'll stop and get us all some breakfast on my way home."
"Let me come with you," he says starting to get up.
"No." I gently pull him back. "Dean I need some time to think about this on my own with no distractions."
"Are you saying I'm a distraction?" Dean teases with a smirk pulling me on top of him.
"Yes. But in a good way," I retort letting him draw me into another of his bone melting kisses. I allow myself a moment to get lost in his kiss before I push him away playfully.
"I'll see you soon," I promise pulling on my jeans and an old sweater that I know is his. If I can't take him with me then at least I can smell him wherever I go. I know I'm pathetic but come on this is DEAN, my unrequited crush in the real world! I stop before opening the door to look back at his smiling face.
"I love you Dean. Now go back to sleep. I may have some house cleaning for you when I get back so you'll need your rest." That earns me a groan and a "love you too" as he pulls the covers back over his head. I shut the door gently resting my head against the frame and taking a deep breath. What the hell am I doing? I can't believe I'm actually considering this!
I collect myself and tiptoe down the hall to Sammy's room. I have one more thing to do before heading out because despite what I've just promised Dean, I know that I'm not coming back to this house. Today, my two lives will collide and I'll either end up back where I started or nowhere at all.
End Chapter Ten.
Whew! This was a long chapter. I didn't mean for it to be but I guess there was a lot that needed to be covered. We're almost there...I'm thinking two chapters to go. Please review. It keeps my energy banks charged!