Title: What Was and What May Possibly Be?

A Dean/Jo Supernatural Story

This is an alternate universe fan fiction and is based on the storyline premise and monster from the "What Is and What Will Never Be" episode of season two! This author is in no way associated with the writers and/or producers of the Supernatural show and all characters belong to the awesome Eric Kripke and his associates. No copyright infringement is intended.

The story is told in the first person from the POV of Jo Harvelle.

Chapter Eleven: Leap of Faith!

I sit gently on the edge of Sammy's bed. I'm careful not to wake him, wanting only to watch him sleep for a moment. He really is a beautiful child; physically the perfect mix of Dean and me. As I stare and smile, I silently pray that one day I might be blessed with a real child of my own. It's way too much to hope that child could be Dean's so I force my thoughts not to go there.

My real life doesn't completely suck right? I mean outside of this pretend world, I've got a lot of things going for me. I have a family who loves me, including Ash who's still alive. Maybe I should actually go see them more often if I make it back. I also spend my time saving lives and kicking supernatural ass. I can honestly say that as far as the job goes, I'm doing what I love. If I'm being honest with myself, it's more likely this fairytale life, being married with children, is not truly meant for me.

Gathering up the courage to finally leave it all behind, I place a kiss on Sammy's forehead and start to rise from his bed. The boy awakens then startling me by grasping my hand in his.

"What's wrong mommy?" he asks sleepily.

"Nothing is wrong honey," I reply and sit back down. "It's still early. Go back to sleep. Mommy's going out to get us all some breakfast."

"Can you get the little white donuts?" he yawns.

Well he's certainly inherited Dean's love of junk food.

"Sure I can. Now go back to sleep."

"Kay. Love you," he says snuggling into his pillow and falling back into slumber.

"I love you too Sammy," I whisper and I really do. I don't know how it's possible to love a child who doesn't really exist? Someone who's only been known to you for a few days! But I do and it breaks my heart to leave him. Being in love with Dean? That I understand. I've secretly harboured that unrequited crush practically since I met the man! But the boy, that baffles me. Going back to my "old" life with the realization that I want children, specifically one just like him, puts a proverbial wrench into my pursuit of evil and the fight against the dangers of this world. Actually knowing I want a better life, that I even deserve one, makes it that much harder to be a good hunter. You can no longer live without the fear of not seeing tomorrow when you've had a glimpse into what could possibly be your future.

On that note, it's time to go, before I completely talk myself out of it. I quietly make my way downstairs detouring through the kitchen to retrieve my purse by the back door which I assume holds the keys to my beat up old Dodge. Wouldn't it be ironic if my great escape plan was thwarted by a lack of keys? They're in there though, dangling from the key chain L'il Sammy gave me on my birthday. That day seems like a lifetime ago with all of the things that have happened. With one last longing look at my home, I ease the door open and make my way to my trusty old Dodge. Funny how I have the same vehicle in my alternate reality? Sentimental value I guess.

I open the driver's side door and push the gear shift into neutral slowly pushing the vehicle up the driveway. I'm reluctant to start the engine too close to the house as I'm certain it would wake Bobby. Hunters aren't exactly deep sleepers. I think Bobby is suspicious that I might do something drastic and I can't take the chance of him following me or convincing Dean too. I hop into the truck at the end of drive and turn over the engine heading off in the direction my instincts take me. I don't know exactly where I'm going only that I'll know when I arrive.

It's a beautiful day, warm and sunny. Nothing like the weather on the night I got myself into this mess. Stupid Djinn! When I finally catch that damn genie, he'll be sorry he ever laid eyes in this hunter. I guess in some weird way I should thank him before plunging my knife into his body. He's given me memories I won't ever forget. Maybe you do forget though...if you wake up from all this. I'm not sure how I feel about this sudden revelation. Would it be better to forget what it felt like to wake up next to Dean, to make love to him, be his wife and the mother of his children? Probably, but it doesn't mean I want to. What can I say? I am a glutton for punishment and would venture to guess that most hunters are.

I've been driving for about 20 minutes when I finally see what I'm looking for. I pull over to the side of the road and drive into a small clearing past a clump of trees. See I told you I would know what I was looking for when I found it. I turn off the truck taking the key chain with me as I exit the vehicle. Taking a deep breath, I walk over to the edge of a flat piece of rock. The sudden drop off leads into a deep chasm that's open to a beautiful valley of endless trees. Well, I guess this is as good a place as any to either live or die. I've certainly seen a lot worse!

I didn't mention any of this to Dean or Bobby but I came across a short passage about falling back into reality. It basically suggests that you can't die in your dreams without waking yourself up and if can find a location where you're able to "fall" from the alternate reality you're in, you might find yourself back where everything began. Of course I'm paraphrasing. The text was extremely vague as to how exactly to go about this and not at all reassuring to the reader as to whether it would actually work but it's all I have to go on right now.

I could wait it out and let Dean and Bobby help me to find a better way, something with some assurance that I won't be dead at the end. But the longer I stay here, the harder it will be to leave. Hell, I could barely find the strength to walk away this morning. Besides the Djinn is still draining the blood from my body and I have no idea how long I'll be alive in the real world. It's also possible that girl I found in the warehouse is still alive too and the hunter in me needs to at least try and save her along with myself.

I find myself looking up to the clouds floating across the beautiful blue sky, waiting for a sign. I've never been someone who relies readily on faith or the idea that something or someone other than ourselves is guiding the choices we make. I've always believed that every person is in control of what happens in their own life. However, I must admit it's comforting to think at this moment that there's a higher power watching over us. Suddenly, I hear it again. That familiar voice saying my name along with a few other words I can quite understand through the fog in my brain.

I guess that's the sign I've been waiting for and now is the time for my leap of faith. Now or never...I close my eyes and picture Dean and L'il Sammy's faces as step off the edge of the cliff and fall.

End chapter eleven.

Only one more to go folks! Sorry it's taken me so long to post this. I'm struggling to get the ending just right and I didn't want to rush it. Chapter 12 coming soon though so please review.