Thursday 1 July 7:43 pm Ward 407 University College Hospital

Tommy

Today had been tough. They had finally removed his ventilator but breathing was an unexpected effort. He was tired and irritable. They had pulled out the sutures from his left hand. There was a cut across his palm but he could wiggle his fingers and had feeling everywhere. His right hand however was a different story. He could only feel two fingers and he had no control over his hand. It had a tremor and his fingers were still badly swollen. The physiotherapist had tried to get him to squeeze a soft ball but he could barely grip it.

They were intending to operate tomorrow to remove the plastic plug and close the hole they had created. The wounds from Millan's garrotte had healed well but Tommy had not enjoyed having the small camera pushed up his nose and down into his throat. He had not expected the doctors to tell him that he might never speak again due to the scarring near his voice box. Tommy had assumed that being mute was temporary. He could hardly communicate by blinking forever.

His family was still with him and Barbara was due soon. She had not touched him again since that short kiss but every day he hoped that she might. His wished the others would leave. They meant well but they sapped his energy. He tried yawning and closing his eyes and ignoring them but nothing seemed to work. "You have to try Tommy," his mother entreated.

He saw Barbara enter the room before she noticed his family. "Barbara! What a surprise," his mother exclaimed.

Tommy watched Barbara glance at Judith then at him. She spotted the changes immediately and a big smile broke across her face. "Not really, Lady Asherton, I've been coming at eight each evening." Her voice was calm but slightly frosty. Tommy smiled at her encouragingly. He did not want her to be brow-beaten by his mother.

"Tommy's not happy Barbara," Judith interrupted. Barbara looked at him and he shook his head.

"He may never be able to speak again," his mother wailed then dabbed her nose with her white lacy handkerchief.

"Or write," Peter added cruelly, "he'll be stuck in a world of blinks."

"No he won't," Barbara said confidently, "we'll find a way, won't we Sir?"

Tommy smiled at her but blinked twice just to be sure. He wished he could tell her right now how much he loved her.

His mother rose and tried to pass him his ball. "He has to exercise his good hand by squeezing this. I was trying to persuade him when you arrived. He refuses to even try," she said in exasperation. He took the ball and threw it angrily across the room.

Barbara looked at him and frowned. She walked up to the bed and smiled at him. "It's okay," she whispered.

Tommy took her hand and closed his fingers around it, gripping hard so she could not escape. Her look of surprise was soon replaced by a cheeky, red-faced grin. "Hey, not so hard Superman! Seems you can squeeze quite well. Perhaps you have had enough for today? We can try again tomorrow." He knew she meant with the ball but he would be happier to practice holding her hand. "You can let go now Sir."

Tommy shook his head and smiled at the ill-disguised shock on his mother's face and Judith's stifled laughter.

Barbara

She knew today was a big day for him so she risked being early hoping that the family had left. In one way she wanted to confront them. She was tired of hiding. They had nothing to be ashamed of; she was simply his friend and colleague. The fact that she had realised the true extent of her feelings for him when she had thought he might die should have no bearing on anything. Apart from one friendly peck on his cheek when he had come out of his coma she had behaved as she always did.

"Barbara! What a surprise." She took a deep breath. There was mild hostility in his mother's voice.

The tension in the family was clear and she could see Tommy was distressed by it. They were assuming the worst about his future but she could not understand why they had to have these conversations in front of him. Surely he deserved some discretion and someone who had faith in him. "No he won't! We'll find a way, won't we Sir?"

His look of relief and hope nearly broke her heart. She had no idea what would happen but she was not going to give up hope on day one and she would never give up on him. His mother kept on and Barbara grinned at him when he had thrown away the ball like a petulant three year old. "It's okay," she had reassured him.

Tommy had caught her off-guard when he took her hand. It was an act of defiance but she knew he was also thanking her for taking his side. His hand was cool and she could feel the swelling across his palm. She did not want to hurt him but she gave a quick return squeeze. She saw the shock on the faces now staring at them and she began to blush guiltily. What must they think? We look like we're holding hands. "You can let go now Sir."

She saw him shake his head. Oh Sir, what have you done?

Thursday 8 July 10:23 pm Ward 407 University College Hospital

Tommy

He waited anxiously for Barbara. They nurse had told him she had phoned to say she would be late. She was stuck in Richmond on a case. They had been practicing his hand exercises all week and it had become routine that she walked in the door and straight to his bed where he would take her hand. She had even begun to gently massage and manipulate the fingers on his bad hand. It hurt a bit but for him it had nothing to do with his therapy and everything to do with the admittedly odd way that he was trying to tell her that he wanted their relationship to blossom into something he imagined would be beautiful.

"Evening Sir," she said brightly as she moved to his side "sorry I'm late but I was held up."

He waved hello then took her hand. Tonight he took the extra risk of bringing it to his lips and kissing it softly. He watched her eyes widen in shock but she made no attempt to pull away. They watched each other intensely for longer than friends should and he saw her swallow. "Someone's in a good mood it seems," she said breaking the spell. "They are going to move you to the rehab ward tomorrow so they must be happy with your progress. We'll have you out of here before you know it."

Tommy nodded then frowned as she stifled a yawn. He had selfishly not considered that her twice daily visits on top of work must be exhausting. He wished he could ask her to take leave and spend her days with him. She yawned again and he patted the bed beside him offering her a chance to sit. He expected her to argue but instead she sat gratefully while she told him about the case. At that angle they could not hold hands but Tommy had his arm behind her. When she yawned again he tapped her on her hip and jerked his head.

"You sure? They won't like it."

Tommy nodded and grinned then tapped her again. Her face reddened but she swung her legs up onto the bed and rolled onto her hip so that she was facing him. She was leaning on her elbow and seemed to be taking great care not to touch him. Tommy slowly moved his hand closer until it was resting on the small of her back. She blushed again, smiled shyly and continued her story but he was only half listening. She grew drowsy and slowly sank down onto his shoulder. He wrapped his arm over her then closed his eyes and sighed when her hand moved to rest lightly on his stomach.

Barbara

If she had not known how important her visits were to Tommy she would have gone straight home to bed. She had been on her feet all day door-knocking houses and searching for clues to the latest murder. More than anything she wanted a long, warm bath and a cup of cocoa. But she would miss not seeing him almost as much as he would miss her. When they spent time together at work it seemed normal. That was what partners did. With him absent everything had changed. She did not enjoy being a detective nearly as much but more tellingly she simply missed time with him. No matter how she tried to justify or disguise her feelings the truth was clearer every day - she was utterly besotted with him. There was a sentimental, dopey side of it where she imagined they could have a happy ever after and there was a practical side where she knew that every day with his injuries would be a test. Then there was the logical side that reminded her Tommy thought of her like a sister. None of that mattered as long as she could be with him.

"Evening Sir; sorry I'm late but I was held up."

His cheeky wave and broad smile made her forget her day. He took her hand as usual but surprised her when he kissed it. She caught his eye. He was trying to tell her something but she could not quite understand. What she wanted to ask was not the sort of question you could easily answer yes or no. She wondered if he could see her feelings for him. She swallowed and tried to change the subject. "Someone's in a good mood it seems."

Barbara yawned more from nerves than tiredness. Tommy patted the bed asking her to sit. She was tired and it was tempting. She had to stand to see him properly and her feet ached. She looked around but there was no nurse to yell at her so lowered herself gently onto the bed. He poked her on her tail. She knew he wanted her to climb up beside him. It was probably against every hospital regulation they had, but she obliged. She wanted to snuggle down against him and hold him close but that would be far too forward. Instead she arranged herself so she could look at him and talk without any physical contact.

Tommy grinned at her and she felt her resolve slip. She kept talking but when his hand came to rest on her back Barbara gave in to her tiredness, her hopes and her opportunity. She slowly lowered herself into the crook of his shoulder. He had time to object but instead he tightened his grip and held her close. Barbara had very few reference points but his touch did not feel brotherly. Instead it was peaceful and gentle. She wickedly thought that he would be a slow and tender lover. Maybe one day she could put it to the test. In the meantime she put her arm over him and cuddled close. He smelled vaguely like his car and she was instantly secure reasoning that if he objected she would claim exhaustion and leave. She heard him sigh and smiled. It seemed his mother might not know her son as well as she thought.