Tuesday 28 July 7:12 pm Nearing Howenstowe

Winston

Neither of their cars was capable of the six hour drive to Cornwall. Hillier had grumbled but had arranged for a rental car for them. It was a compact Honda. At first Winston thought it was too small. He felt like a bear in a circus car but the vehicle won him over as he drove. It still had that unique smell of new plastic that Winston had only experienced on the odd wishful-thinking trip to the car yards. None of his family or friends had ever had new cars. "This is cool," he said as he had sped along the freeway managing to just keep within the speed limit. "It accelerates so smoothly and check out the display panel. It tells you everything about the car."

"Mmm," Barbara answered absently. She had barely spoken the whole trip. Her gaze had been vacant and she had pretended to look out at the city fading into suburbs and then becoming farmland with scattered villages and towns. Winston rarely drove in the countryside so he amused himself by counting how many of the distant village steeples were square Normanesque structures and how many were the more familiar spires.

Naturally he was concerned about the DI. He had visited him once in hospital but had found it awkward. He dreaded having to spend hours with him when he could not talk. Do I talk to him? Just sit there like a guard dog? What the hell do I say to his family? He had stewed about it the entire trip. How do I even know what knife or fork to use? The next few days were going to be disastrous.

Barbara

Overwhelming excitement and paralysing fear fought a battle in Barbara's stomach. As she sat and tried to avoid Winston waxing lyrical about the damned rental car she played out scenarios in her head. The one she preferred was where Lady Asherton was too upset to see them so Barbara could race up the stairs to Tommy's bedroom. She would open the door. He would smile broadly and open his arms and she would rush to him, tell him how sorry she was for abandoning him and hold him forever.

Unfortunately that was unlikely. In another version she would have a shouting match with his mother, Tommy would refuse to speak to her because she had left him and she would sit by his bed hoping Millan would come and kill her. She shook her head to rid herself of the image of Tommy's disappointed face. She knew he could be unforgiving at times but she could not bear the thought that he would ever hate her.

If she had been alone in the car she would have screamed in frustration. Her emotions were balanced on a razor's edge and knowing her luck she would slip and cut herself badly. She was not sure she could be detached and professional. In fact she was sure she could not.

Winston was talking to her but she had no idea what he was saying. "Mmm," she said non-committedly hoping it was not out of context. In less than an hour she would know the future. She could only hope that Tommy would forgive her.

Tuesday 28 July 7:53 pm Howenstowe

Dorothy

The room was too warm but with Tommy now bedridden Dorothy thought he needed the warmth. She leant against the doorframe and watched anxiously as he slept. Without a nightly sedative he was unable to settle but she hated having to have him drugged. His moodiness had spiralled into a deep depression in the last few days and she genuinely feared the outcome. She would much rather he became angry and aggressive. At least then he would be fighting for life. Now she was convinced he was trying to die. If Millan had not escaped Dorothy had planned to go to London and beg Barbara to return with her. His gritty but devoted friend was her son's only hope.

If only she can make a difference. Dorothy had recognised too late that she should never have allowed her prejudices to overcome common sense. Peter had been so persuasive in convincing her that Barbara was not an innocent friend and not good for her son. 'An improper relationship that dragged down the family's good name' he had said. Barbara was not worthy of Tommy, not in his league, a good bed mate but a terrible wife. Of course you cannot decide who you fall in love with or when; she knew that only too well from bitter experience. So what if Peter was right and she had been his mistress for years? If they love each other and she can help him recover why should I care if she will be a fitting countess? I just want my son back!

She closed the heavy oak door and went downstairs to wait. She hoped Barbara would forgive her or at least be able to be neutral and civil. She knew that once Barbara saw Tommy she would do everything she could to help him recover but she had no idea if she would help bring him back to his family. She would not blame either of them if they never forgave her. A car crunched over the crushed stone driveway. She took a deep breath, painted a smile on her face and opened the door.

Barbara

As Winston turned into the drive they looked at each other and both took their last deep breath of freedom. "Good luck," Winston said grimly.

"You too. Just be yourself Winston, they're good people." She sounded convincing but she was no longer sure if she believed it.

The door swing open as the Winston killed the engine. Lady Asherton was smiling but Barbara could see the tension. Is it Millan, Tommy or me that has you so frightened?

His mother waited at the door. Winston grabbed his duffel and Barbara's backpack from the boot. Barbara's stomach was doing somersaults. She was afraid not only of the encounter with his mother but what she would find with Tommy. She counted to five in her head then walked towards the gates of Hell.

"Lady Asherton," she said politely.

To her amazement the woman rushed over and embraced her in a bear hug. "Oh Barbara. Please call me Dorothy. I am so dreadfully, dreadfully sorry. We behaved appallingly...I behaved appallingly. I don't expect you to forgive us but please, for Tommy's sake, save him." Barbara felt a damp spot on her neck where his mother had buried her face.

Barbara patted his mother on her back twice to console her. It was clear that his mother was sincere but she could not truly forgive her until she knew Tommy would recover. "Can I see him?"

"Oh course, he's asleep in his room; up the stairs, third room on the left."

She turned to a confused Winston. "I'll take tonight's shift. Come up in the morning." Barbara pushed past his mother and ran up the stairs two at a time. She stopped outside his door and composed herself. If he was sleeping she would not disturb him but she hoped he would sense her and wake.

The old door squeaked as she slowly pushed it open. She took a step forward and stopped. The room reeked of antiseptic and decay. The small lamp on a corner table cast a hazy blue shadow across the room. She could instantly see Tommy had lost weight, a lot of weight, and his face was sallow and sunken. She gasped. Her eyes filled instantly with guilt and sadness and she wiped away a stray tear. A drip tube was in his arm just above his damaged right hand which was lying limply on the sheet. His fingers were still inflamed and they curled unnaturally. Tommy was sleeping in a semi-foetal position as if he was shutting out the world. It was much worse than Kathy had described.

Barbara kicked off her shoes and walked to the bed. She sat down gently beside him and watched him. His breathing was shallow but regular and he was snoring softly. A lock of limp hair hung down over his eye. She reached out and carefully pushed it up trying not to wake him. She pulled her legs up onto the bed and snuggled close. He was skeletal. His flesh had melted from him and she could feel the hard ridges of his bones as she held him. But it was Tommy in her arms and she closed her eyes momentarily to savour the sensation. She kissed the top of his head softly then guided it gently into her chest while she brushed his face with loving caresses. His skin was dry and leathery and she cursed herself for not fighting to stay with him. He had deteriorated far more than she had feared. "I'm here, and if you'll have me this time nothing and nobody is going to tear me away. I love you Tommy more than you can ever know." She felt him go limp in her arms. Fear shot through her until she realised he was still snoring. She looked up to try and calm her thumping heart. The curtains had not been drawn on the patterned French windows and beyond them she could see the heavens. Everything was brighter here than in London. Silvery dots illuminated the dark sky and she could understand why sailors used them to navigate. Her eye caught movement as a shooting star darted across window. She did not believe in omens and signs but oddly it gave her faith and comfort that he would heal.

Tommy

The night had begun badly as they always did. It took nearly an hour for the sedative to take affect and for sleep to rescue him from the tumult of his mind. He knew he was dying. He vacillated between worrying and craving it. When he was worried it was because he wanted Barbara. He still believed that they could overcome all of this and be happy. However when he had really needed her she had left him to cope alone. Whatever he had seen in her eyes was not love; at least not the all-consuming, selfless love that he craved.

A small kernel of hope still lingered in his mind. Every night he could escape reality and dream of being re-united with her. Tonight it was so real. He could even smell the faint lavender of her cheap laundry detergent and feel the tickling joy of her fingertips brushing his face. He nuzzled closer and could have sworn that his face was nestled safely in her bosom; a breast that he had often fantasised about kissing. He could almost feel her warm breath in his hair and her soft lips on his forehead. He thought about the way he would make love to her for the first time. He would kiss every inch of her skin slowly, excruciatingly slowly, until she told him she loved him. "I'm here and if you'll have me this time nothing and nobody is going to tear me away." Her voice wavered with emotion but he knew she loved him. He wanted to open his eyes but he knew that meant pain. He fought to stay asleep and lost in Barbara. "I love you Tommy more than you can ever know." Pure ecstasy overtook his body like an afterglow and he drifted deeper into his dream of making love to the only woman who had ever truly loved him.