Chapter 2 - When Idiots Collide
The Hyuga clan's estate was in disarray once again that morning. Walls and rooftops had been matted in red paint, vandalized by amateur artistry. The culprit was already escaping from the crime scene, a broad grin and a tab of paint on face. He stood at the top of the highest tree in the estate to get a gander at his latest masterpiece. A life-size, albeit rough, painting of the Nine-tailed Fox was plastered across the Hyuga clan's grounds.
"It's beautiful! This place needs to be turned into a landmark just so they can reserve this masterpiece," Bolt claimed.
"Bolt! Stop right there!" a clan member exclaimed.
He and several other members of the clan surrounded the tree Bolt was standing in.
"Get down here right now, Bolt! We know it was you who vandalized the estate!"
Bolt pouted. "Yeah, so what? You're just jealous cause you didn't have the balls to do it first!"
The clan member's face started to flush with anger. "Bolt, I'm only giving one more chance to-"
Bolt dashed off without letting him finish. He landed on the ground behind the clan members and sprinted away. All of them chased his tail like he was game in a hunting expedition. They called upon other members of the clan to help catch Bolt as well, but – doing his nickname proud – the Hokage's son was too agile for them. He slid between legs, flipped over head and dived through gaps in crowds. He eventually elevated to the rooftops to escape his kin.
He blew raspberries while roof jumping. "Bleh~ You losers can't catch me! Every idiot knows you can't catch a bolt of light-"
Bolt tripped over somebody's foot and fell forward off the roof he was running on. Fortunately for Bolt, the same person who tripped him also caught his leg before he fell. Unfortunately for Bolt, upon seeing who that person was, he wished he had just hit the ground.
"I guess I must be special, because I just caught a bolt without even trying," the person said.
Bolt laughed nervously. "H-hi, Aunt Hanabi... Are you having a good morning?"
"I was until I walked outside and saw a giant fox tail painted on my home. Mind telling me why you thought using the Hyuga estate as your personal canvas was a good idea?"
"Uh.. I was.. training. Yeah, that's it! Painting Kurama over estate was all a part of this new training regime I came up for myself!"
"Is that so?"
Bolt nodded so quickly, it looked like he was trying to shake his hair off his head. Hanabi started to laugh.
"Oh, so that's all it was? Geez, you should have told me earlier, silly!"
"...I should've?" Bolt asked.
"Of course." Hanabi pulled Bolt up until she and he were at eye-level. "I would love to help my favorite nephew train."
Bolt's face lost all its color. "A-actually, it's kinda getting late, auntie. I should hurry and head to the academy..."
Hanabi gripped Bolt's leg tighter. Then she gave him an evil smile.
"Oh, don't worry. ...I promise this will be over quick," she said.
Indeed, Bolt really wished he had just hit the ground.
The first thing Bolt did after wobbling into class was lay his face flat against his desk. Sparring with his unrelenting aunt had left him battered and bruised, on top of depressed. It was a rare condition for Bolt; something his fellow classmates took note of.
"What happened to you?" Shikadai asked while grabbing his seat. "Did your old man take a few swings at your noggin again?"
Bolt groaned. "It was my aunt. She's ruthless. She doesn't even hold back when fighting her own nephew! I can't believe she and Mom are sisters... She did all this over one dumb prank."
"You should really quit it with the pranks, Bolt," Inojin advised. "On top of being childish, they always end up blowing up in your face."
"Maybe Bolt's a masochist. He could be doing it just forthe abuse, yknow?" Chocho said while simultaneously stuffing chips into her mouth.
"Chocho! You're not supposed to bring snacks into the academy!"
Chocho rolled her eyes. She held the bag above her head and let all the chips flow into her mouth like a crispy waterfall.
"Thur... Is dat bettur?" she asked while chewing.
Inojin put a finger to his forehead. Shikadai eyes were wandering elsewhere.
"Looks like Bolt isn't the only one having a rough morning."
Shikadai was referring to Sarada, who was wearing a disgusted look on her face. Not even her friends wanted to approach her while she was radiating such a repulsed atmosphere.
"S-sarada... are you OK?" one girl asked.
Sarada shot her a look and the girl clammed up immediately. No one else dared bothered her.
"Geez, what crawled under her skin?" Bolt asked.
"Wanna ask her and find out?" Shikadai proposed.
Bolt cringed and put his head back on his desk. The classroom door opened, and Shino Aburame entered. He addressed his class.
"Alright, everyone. Quiet down and take your-"
Shino spotted Sarada. The evil aura she was emitting threw him off for a moment. He collected himself.
"Uh, anyway... Before we start class, I need to introduce you all to your new classmate. He's just moved to the village a few days ago, so give him a warm leaf welcome. Hana, you can come in."
On cue, a boy entered the classroom. He had silky, black hair that tickled his shoulders; dark eyes and a gentle smile on his face.
"Introduce yourself to the class," Shino said.
"My name is Hana Fujikaze of the Fujikaze clan. Though, I'm in this class, I'm actually a year younger than most of you..." Hana bowed. "So please treat me kindly."
Many of the girls immediately started giggling about how adorable they thought Hana was. Bolt noticed this and snorted.
"Who let this momma's boy skip a grade? He doesn't even look he can hold a kunai without snapping one of those twigs he uses for arms."
Chocho snickered. "Somebody's jealous~"
"Shut up! I'm not-"
"Bolt! Could you wait until the end of Hana's introduction to start disrupting class?" Shino asked.
Bolt made an annoyed face and stuck his hands in his coat pockets.
"You mean the momma's boy has got more?" he mumbled.
Shino looked back at Hana. "Is there anything else you want to share with the others before we begin class? Something that will tell them a lot about you, like maybe a goal that you have for the future."
Hana crossed his arms and thought. "Hmm... A goal, huh? Well, there's this one thing I've had in mind since I came to the village a little while ago – I want to become the Hokage."
Hana's announcement ignited whispers and odd looks in his classmates. Shino was one of the latter.
"...Hokage? You want become the Eight Hokage?"
"Or ninth, or maybe even the tenth. As long as I get there before I'm dead, I don't mind waiting in line."
Bolt snapped. He had heard enough. He stood with one foot on his desk and an angry finger pointed at Hana.
"I can't take this anymore! Who do you think you are coming into Konoha and then all of the sudden saying you want become the Hokage like its easiest thing in the world?! There have only been seven Hokages for a reason, and I won't sit back and let you look down on them! I'll become the next Hokage keep the position forever if that's what it takes!"
Bolt struck the classroom silent. Hana smirked.
"I guess you and I are rivals then," he said.
"You're friggin right we are!"
Bolt sat back down, but he kept glaring at Hana the entire time.
Shino made an uncomfortable noise. "Right then... Hana, please go find your seat so we can begin class."
Inojin chuckled softly. "Looks like Bolt got over whatever was keeping him down this morning."
"Yeah, but now he's all loud and fussy again," Shikadai sighed. "What a drag..."
It was time for ninjutsu lessons. Today, the kids were lining up in front of Shino to practice making clones.
It was Inojin's turn. He made the clone hand seal. A puff of smoke occurred beside him, and a perfect replica of himself appeared from it.
"Very good, Inojin," Shino said while writing on a clipboard. "Next!"
Sarada stepped up. Her dark aura from before had lessened somewhat. Regardless, he technique remained untouched. She created a perfect clone.
"Excellent as always Sarada. Next!"
Sarada was about to head to the back of the line when she Hana walking forward. He waved cheerfully. She shot him a menacing look and walked past him without saying a word.
"Hana, you've only just transferred to the academy. It's alright if you-"
"No can do, sensei. What would it look like if I backed down from a challenge?"
Hana glanced back at Bolt who was too busy staring at the ceiling to notice him. Hana shrugged and looked back ahead. He made the clone hand seal.
"Clone Jutsu!"
A puff of smoke happened. When it died down, a deflated and colorless clone of Hana was laying on the floor beside him. Hana scratched the back of his head and laughed.
"Oh yeah~ I forgot that I've never learned this jutsu."
Shino sighed and started writing on his clipboard again.
"Please keep that in mind next time... Next!"
The kids continued practicing their techniques, until only Bolt was left. He pumped his fist as his walked up to his instructor.
"You ready, Shino Sensei? Don't blink or you might miss out," Bolt said while making the hand seal. "One clone coming right up!"
A clone just as pathetic as Hana's appeared from a puff of smoke. Bolt made a shocked face while the other kids laughed.
"I made sure not to blink. I'm kinda regretting that now," Shino said while writing.
"Wait a minute, Shino Sensei! Just give me one more shot and this time I'll-"
"We don't have time for that Bolt. We have to move on the next lesson."
Bolt lowered his head. He was about to drag himself rear of the line when Hana made a loud gasp.
"Shino Sensei! Look!" Hana exclaimed while pointing.
He pointed at the deflated clone's fingers. They were making the clone seal like Bolt did.
"You see? Bolt didn't fail completely. He only failed 99%."
"That's better than you failed the whole one hundred!" Bolt snapped.
Shino hummed. "I see... Alright, Bolt. You should thank, Hana. You're no longer the worst student in class."
Bolt's eyes widened. "I-I'm not?"
"No. You're now the second worst – directly above Hana who's only been attending school for twenty minutes."
Bolt face was filled with shock and disbelief. Hana who shot him the 'V for victory sign' wasn't helping.
After ninjutsu came genjutsu. Shino took the kids into the forest. There he took four students at a time with him deeper into the forest. He would perform a hand seal in front of those four like he was casting genjutsu. Then he would wait for up to two minutes to see if the four could tell they were under a genjutsu or not. Little did they know, the other three students they were talking with were all genjutsu that would try to convince them that they weren't under the influence of a genjutsu. Most of the students failed. A few stand out exceptions were Inojin, Shikadai and Sarada.
Hana and Bolt were in the same group during the lesson. They walked further into the forest with Shino, and he performed the hand seal.
"Now tell whether or not you're under a genjutsu's influence," he said.
Bolt's head darted back and forth. He patted himself down and checked the underside of his sandals.
"Nope. I don't think we've been hypnotized or whatever," he said.
"I agree," said one boy in the group.
"Me too," a girl nodded.
Hana gave Bolt a reassuring look. "Yeah. We're definitely not under any genjutsu's effect."
Bolt blinked. "On second thought... There's a chance we might be bewitched after all."
"What? But you just said-"
"I know what I said! Are you making fun of my memory?!"
Hana put up his hands. "All I'm saying is-"
"Shino Sensei! We're caught in a genjutsu!" Bolt and the real Hana both yelled as the same time.
Shino made another seal to release the genjutsu. "You're both correct. Which is surprising, especially coming from Bolt. What about you, Hana? How did you figure it out?"
"I told Bolt that we weren't under genjutsu... and he agreed with me. Bolt would never agree with me!"
Hana laughed. Shino and the boy and girl in Hana's group all made faces like they couldn't comprehend Hana's logic. Bolt just shot Hana a look.
'This guy... He's smarter than he looks.' Bolt thought.
Finally, was taijutsu class. It was the last class of the day. Students had been instructed to run ten laps to warm up. Bolt had no intention of stopping at just a warm up. He stretched his legs at the starting line.
"This isn't a race, Bolt. Stop acting stupid," Sarada warned.
"I'm not being stupid! I'm just not gonna lose..." Bolt said while looking over at Hana.
Hana caught his look and gave a smirk in return. The students started running. Bolt's feet kicked off the dirt like he had something stuck to the sole of his sandals. He blazed ahead of the rest of the students and kept his lead for the first five laps. During the sixth, Hana managed to catch up to him. The two ran shoulder to shoulder for four more laps. By the final lap, they were practically colliding with each other.
"There's no way I'm gonna lose to you!" Bolt announced.
"Yeah... I feel the same way!" Hana exclaimed with a grin on his face.
They made it to the tenth lap. Right before finishing, Bolt's foot caught Hana's leg. The two tumbled forward and crashed into a fence together. By the time they managed to pick themselves off the ground, Sarada had already finished before them. They completed their laps after her, feeling both defeated and embarrassed.
"Boys are dumb," Sarada said while walking away.
Bolt was mortified. He gritted his teeth as he grabbed Hana by his collar.
"We fell because you caught my foot! You should have watched where you were going!"
For once, Hana got angry. "You're foot is what caught my leg! You're at fault just like I am!"
"Don't get cocky just cause you kept up with me for a few laps!"
"Don't get cocky just cause you can run a little faster than everyone else!"
Fists were about to thrown when Shino pushed the boys apart.
"Break it up you two! Immature brawls aren't allowed," he said.
"He's the one who-"
"Enough, Bolt. Is this how the son of the Seventh Hokage behaves?"
Bolt cringed and lowered his head. Hana watched him.
"Now, if you two really want to fight so bad... you'll do it in the Traditional Shinobi manner."
For the sole reason of extinguishing the flames between Bolt and Hana, Shino had the entire class jump straight to sparring lessons. The first, of course, being between the two boys in question.
"It's a fight over who gonna be the next Hokage!" one boy exclaimed.
"Come on, Bolt! Show that new kid what the Hokage's son is made of!"
"Hana, you can do it! Don't lose to a dummy like Bolt!" one girl cheered.
"Man, talk about troublesome... First day at the academy and this Hana kid somehow became Bolt's number one nemesis," Shikadai said.
"Yeah, at first it was just Bolt who angry, but he managed to get Hana riled up too," Chocho added.
Inojin watched Hana and Bolt enter the sparring circle. "Who do you think will win?"
"I'd put a hundred on Bolt. He's a natural scrapper, plus he's half Hyuga. The Hyuga clan's techniques are like 99.9% taijutsu, aren't they?"
Inojin pecked his chin. "Yeah. I guess I would go with Bolt too. What about you, Shikadai?"
Shikadai was squatting down and holding his face up with his hand. "...Neither."
"What?! You can't choose neither."
"I just did," Shikadai yawned. "Both of em are idiots when you get right down to it, and no winner can come out of a fight between idiots."
Inojin sighed. Sarada was on the other side of the sparring field. She paid close attention to the fight, and especially to Hana. This was the first time she had seen him so serious and worked up over something.
"Both opponents – make the Seal of Confrontation," Shino instructed.
Bolt and Hana held up two fingers were shooting glares at each other.
Shino stepped back. "Begin!"
It was a very interesting match up. Bolt was the Hokage's son and a renown wild child. Hana was mysterious boy who the infamous Sasuke Uchiha had brought back to the village. With the Hyuga clan's Art of the Gentle Fist in Bolt's corner, and the Fujikaze clan's Windmill Style in Hana's, the outcome of the bout could have gone either way.
But just like Shikadai said: Bolt and Hana were idiots.
Like idiots, they both attacked head on despite their respective clans' abilities. Like idiots, they both slugged each other across the cheek at the same. Like idiots, they continued punching each other relentlessly until Shino broke them up, and requested they make the Seal of Reconciliation. Like idiots they made another Seal of Confrontation and went right back to fighting. Like idiots they did the same thing repeatedly, no matter how many times Shino stopped them and requested they make the Seal of Reconciliation.
In the end, the two idiots stood in the sparring circle bloody and bruised, still glaring at each other like they did at the beginning of the fight.
Shino had depressing look on his face. "For the love of... Just make the Seal of Reconciliation already!"
They put there fingers into a Seal of Confrontation again.
"What's wrong with you two?! Don't you know the fight is over?!"
Hana laughed as much as his swollen face would let him. "The fight isn't... over yet Shino Sensei."
"That's right... The fight won't end... until one of us becomes the Hokage," Bolt said.
"Yeah... So until then, we'll keep fighting... till the very end."
Bolt raised his fist and so did Hana. The two swung at the same time and missed. They both fell to the ground unconscious. Shino was flabbergasted.
Inojin and Chocho couldn't believe what they just saw.
"Like I said – no winner can come out a fight between idiots," Shikadai repeated.
Sarada looked at the idiots sprawled out on the ground. She looked at their hands. When Hana and Bolt hit the ground, their hands fell over one another, and they had accidentally formed the Seal of Reconciliation. She was the only person who had noticed. All she could do was sigh.
"Boys are really dumb..."