Teardrops On My Guitar
Chapter 20
Bella's POV
"Edward!" I giggled.
"What?" He asked innocently.
"Stop tickling me. I am trying to watch a movie." I laughed.
He pouted.
"Aw. What's wrong?" I asked teasingly.
"I want my 'touching Bella time.'" He whined.
I laughed.
"You can have your 'touching Bella time'" He grinned. "But after the movie is done." I stuck my tongue out at him.
"You suck Bella." He crossed his arms and pouted like a child.
"Just turn the movie off Edward." I groaned. I always give into him and his sexy sulking child look.
He grinned like a kid in a candy store.
He got the remote and turned the TV off.
He walked towards me with a devious look in his eyes.
"Edward?" I gulped. "Why are you looking at me like that?" I asked.
He didn't say anything but jumped on me causing me to fall flat on the floor with him on top of me. Before I could say anything his mouth was on mine.
I never get tired of kissing this man. I could spend forever doing this. Well there were other things that I could spend forever doing, but they still involved him…and no clothes.
He picked me up of the floor onto his bed. We had defiled this bed plenty. I fell sorry for whoever gets it after Edward leaves Meyer University.
"Now. I can get some payback." He said holding my arms above my head with one hand.
"Payback? For what?" I asked innocently.
"Like you don't know. You little vixen. You always tease me." He said kissing my neck.
I moaned when he started to suck on my pulse point.
"Edward." I groaned.
He grinned. I wanted to wrap my arms around him but he was still holding them with his hand. He somehow took my shirt off with one hand…
He kissed down my chest. He took of my bra and I didn't realize it was gone until he started to suck on my left breast. Why does he have such an effect on me?
He was torturing me. But I enjoyed every minute of it.
He was about to unbutton my pants when the phone rang. I groaned while Edward cursed.
He got up and found his cell phone.
Edward's POV
Stupid phone. It just had to ring.
"Hello." I snapped picking up the phone.
"Edward Cullen?" A man asked.
"Yes." I replied.
"This is Mr. Smith. Your teacher has told me that you are his best student. I am holding a seminar of sorts. Students like you from all over the country will be here. You will learn a lot and even get to shadow a doctor. And you do get paid for it." He said.
"That is amazing!" I said.
"Yes. I know. So you will be attending then?" He asked.
"Of Course." I said.
"Are you holding it in Seattle or Port Angeles?" I asked.
He laughed. Why is he laughing?
"The convention will be held in New York. For six months." He laughed.
"Oh." I said and looked over to a confused Bella.
"Can I get back to you?" I asked.
"Of Course Mr. Cullen. We hope that you join us." I wrote down the number and hung up the phone.
It was an opportunity of a lifetime. But it was in New York. That meant I have to leave Bella here. I can't do that…
Bella's POV
Stupid phone!
Edward got up cursing a picked up the phone. He looked so cute when he was frustrated.
Hello." He snapped picking up the phone.
I feel sorry for whoever is on the other end. Edward looked confused.
"Yes." He replied. The person on the other hand said something that made Edward really happy.
He looked so excited. Like he won a lottery. I wonder who it was.
"That is amazing!" He said.
What is amazing?
"Of Course." He said.
Of Course what?
"Are you holding it in Seattle or Port Angeles?" He asked. Maybe a party I guess.
Edward looked really confused, and then the happiness left his eyes. He looked pained.
"Oh." He said looking at me.
What's happening? I really don't like this.
"Can I get back to you?" He asked, then he wrote down a number.
"Who was it?" I asked when he hung up.
He didn't say anything but came and sat down next to me pulling me into his lap.
He buried his face in my hair.
"Edward? What's wrong?" I asked.
"That was some doctor. They are holding some convention where they will teach us medical stuff and let us shadow a doctor, and they will pay us." He said.
Why is he sad? He should be happy.
"That's great Edward! Now you don't have to go to the evening business class our parents make us go to. And you can start your career earlier. It only takes an hour to drive up to Seattle." I said.
He looked at me with sad eyes.
"Its not in Seattle, is it?"
He shook his head.
"Where?" I whispered.
"New York." He said.
"Oh." I couldn't say anything else. This was big for his career. But New York was all they way on the other side of the country. But he wanted to go. It's probably only going to be a week or so. I can survive, I think…
"How long? I asked. I couldn't go with him becuase of my classes. They were only offered here.
"6 Months." He whispered.
6 months. Half a year. 6 months without Edward…how can I live without him? The most time I have spent away from him since we were kids was only a month. And that was when we were young, when I didn't know that I was in love with him. I get all pissed if I can't see him for one day.
We have spent every day together since the last three years, I can't even fall asleep without him by my side. But this was his career and he wanted to go. He was sad. I shouldn't stand in between him and his career. I can get by. It's not like we can't talk at all. We can call each other and talk on the computer.
But it's not going to be the same.
I pushed that thought to the back of my head. I tried to smile.
"You should go." I said.
He looked surprised at my outburst.
"I mean this is huge. You should obviously go." I said, while my heart, my body and my mind were saying the exact opposite.
But I couldn't tell him to stay. I can't be selfish. He is always there for me. Always. I can do this. Who am I kidding? I can't at all. But I am going to let him go.
"Bella. Really, I don't care, I am going to call them and tell them that I am not-" I cut him off there.
"Edward, it's all right. I know you want to go and you should. It's good for you." I said. I avoided all eye contact with him.
He pulled my chin up and looked at me.
"Edward. I am going to be okay. It's not like I won't live if you aren't there." I joked trying to lighten the mood.
But inside I knew that I wouldn't be able to live. I will live but I won't be complete.
"Bella." He tried.
"Just go call them and tell them yes Edward." I playfully pushed him off the bed towards the phone. He looked at me and I smiled, well tried to. But I think I succeeded since he sighed and went to the phone.
He confirmed the time, the place and the tickets. He was going to leave tomorrow evening…tomorrow. I smiled really big. I won't cry, I won't blow this for him. He needs it. He wants it. I will be all right.
That night we didn't say anything to each other, he just held me. And I held on to him tightly. I never wanted to let him go but I had to. I was trying so hard not to cry. I wanted to cry and scream. I wanted to beg him to stay, to keep him here with me. To never let him go. But I had to. I couldn't cry in front of him. He would stay as soon as I did. I know if I asked him to stay even once he would.
He told everyone else the next morning. They all looked at me sadly. I just smiled at them. Emmett gave me a questioning look that said 'you are really going to let him go?'
Alice and Rosalie looked at me like I was going to break any minute. And Jasper sensed how I was feeling, he always knows. He just smiled at me, a sad smile.
I helped Edward pack his things. We just lay together and talked until it was time for him to go. We all went to drop him off.
His luggage was checked in and he was ready to go… any minute.
"Bella." He said hugging me.
He looked pained.
"Promise to call me every day." I said into his chest.
"I promise." He said. He just held me while the others talked to him, I didn't hear a thing. Until Edward said he had to go.
He kissed me hard, letting all his feeling into the kiss. Confusion, anger, sadness, pain and so many other emotions. I almost broke down right there, I wanted to beg him to stay. But I didn't. Maybe because I felt numb. He said bye to everyone and kissed my forehead.
"I love you Bella." He said.
"I love you too." I said.
He walked to the door and showed them his boarding pass. He left, he didn't even turn around once. I was waiting for it. Any moment he is going to turn around and come to me. He's going to tell me that he can't go. He was going to run back in here.
But it never happened. He didn't come back. I fell to the floor crying. Letting out all the tears I had. All the tears I stopped for these two days. I didn't want him to leave. I know everyone was probably looking at me. But I didn't feel anything. Nothing but numbness.
I felt two strong arms carry me to the car. But they weren't the ones I wanted. It wasn't him. He left. I let him. Why?
He didn't even ask me if I was okay with it…he did. But I lied. I wasn't okay with it. I felt like I was going to die. I know we reached home. I felt my friends, my family around me all talking. But I didn't here a thing. Alice and Rosalie held onto me while I cried.
They left eventually when I pretended to sleep but I sat up as soon as they left. And I cried, I cried my self dry. Then I just sat there hugging my knees. Going through every memory with Edward.
I felt…nothing. Just numbness. Like I wasn't there. Like someone stole something from me. My chest hurt a lot. Like I was ripping and breaking. I felt it. I felt a hole in my chest. But nothing else.
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Author's Note- Don't kill me. It will get better. I promise. Soon. I can't let them be miserable. Hell, I cried when I wrote this.
Anyway…REVIEW!!