Teardrops On My Guitar

Chapter 21

Bella's POV

Time passed. Days went by, weeks went by. But I hardly noticed. I didn't notice anything.

I know I went to my classes and did all my homework. The straight A's were a proof of that. But I don't remember getting up in the morning. Or going to class.

Rose, Alice, Emmett and Jasper were all worried about me. But I made Alice promise she wouldn't say anything to him. I didn't want him to ruin his career because of me. He needed this.

Apparently the only time I smiled or was happy was when Edward called. He called everyday at 4:00. He said he would call more often but the doctors keep them really busy. When he calls I feel happy, and I actually notice things.

But I go back into my dead like state after we hang up. I know it's weird. It's not like he isn't coming back. But I have never been apart from him for so long. Ever since we were little kids.

I am dependent on him. I can't live without him. The littlest things make me cry. If I go into my closet to pick out my clothes I can hear him saying that I look beautiful in blue.

If I listen to music I can hear him humming along. But as soon as I open my eyes he is gone.

He is everywhere. When I am walking through the halls I think I see him. But when I get there he isn't there. I see him everywhere I look, smiling, laughing and talking to me. But he is never there.

I don't tell Edward how I feel. Because I know if I did he would come running back to me.

Is that a bad thing?

My heart never agrees with me. I try to tell myself its good for him and I should be happy. But I can't. I miss him so much.

I miss his smile, his laugh, the way he talked, the thing he said, how we held me.

I miss him telling me everything is going to be okay. I miss his eyes. I miss hugging him. I miss feeling his mouth against mine.

I miss feeling him on top of me. I miss watching him sleep. I miss his cute face when he woke up. I missed his jokes. His sarcasm.

I missed every little thing about him. Every little thing…

I put on a brave face everyday. I try to look happy, and laugh. I try to smile. I guess I am doing a pretty good job. No one seems to think I am miserable.

But I can't fool everyone. I know Alice and Rose know I am not happy. Even Emmett.

He tries to make me laugh. But the things he says aren't funny. I know that if it was before he left, I would have laughed my ass off. But I can't.

I put on a brave face but as soon as everyone leaves I cry. Sometimes I just sit on my bed curled up into a ball. I even cry in my sleep. I wake up with a wet pillow everyday.

I have the weirdest dreams. Edward always tends to leave me in them. I know he wouldn't but I can't help it.

It's been exactly 3 weeks 4 days and 10 hours since he has left. It is the only way I keep track of time.

Sometimes I think he sounds miserable as me on the phone. But then he sounds so happy and I erase the thought from my mind.

He calls me everyday and tells me he misses me and loves me. That is the only thing that keeps me going. I feel as if my life has no purpose without him. I can't even imagine him not being in my life.

I think of him every second. I try to distract myself but I always end up thinking about him.

I sighed and looked at the clock. Alice was supposed to be over and help me dress. We were going out to the movies and Alice insisted I let her dress me.

"Bella! Open the door!" She yelled.

I opened the door and let her in.

"Hi Alice."

"Bella!" She laughed.

"Why are you so happy for?" I asked.

"No reason. Now let's get you beautified."

She threw clothes at me and I put them on. Then she threw my hair into a half up half down style and put on light make up.

I have no clue what movie we went to see. I don't even know what it was about. They all looked sad. Why are they sad?

I noticed everyone around me was laughing at the movie. Oh so it was a comedy. I tried my best to smile but I don't think I did a good job.

We went back to our rooms at around 10. I had a class tomorrow morning…

My dreams were the same…but Edward didn't run away this time. He just stood there but I couldn't touch him. He kept saying my name…I called out to him but he couldn't hear me.

I woke up breathing hard. I looked at the clock and it was already seven. So I decided to get ready for classes.

I made my way to my first class at around 8. I was walking past the courtyard when I saw him. I shook my head.

You're just hallucinating. I told myself. But he was still there standing in the rain with his hair wet. And he walked towards me.

He is going to disappear any minute…

I walked toward him, well my imaginary Edward.

But he didn't disappear.

I stopped in front of him.

"Bella." He whispered.

I ran to him and jumped into his arms. He didn't disappear! Maybe I am dreaming…no it seems so real.

I let out a strangled sob.

"Edward." I cried.

He held me. He was there! He was actually here. I looked past him to see Ali, Rose, Emmett and Jasper smiling at me. The little pixie winked. They all left then.

"Bella. I missed you so much." He whispered kissing my hair.

I pushed him away and slapped his chest.

"You stupid! How could you just leave like that?" I yelled.

"You made me. You said that you wanted me to go!" He said.

"And you believed me? You know me better than anyone! How could you think I would survive without you? I can't live without you, idiot. You didn't even offer to say! You just left!" I yelled.

"You didn't ask me too. I would have stayed if you just asked me to even once. I didn't want to go. I wasn't going to go. But you said that you would be okay and that I should go."

"You don't know how much it killed me to watch you leave. You didn't even turn around once. You just left. And I missed you so much. Everywhere I looked I fucking saw you. I felt so lonely. I can't live without you damnit." His lips crashed onto mine. Before I could finish my rant.

But his lips felt like heaven. I kissed him back eagerly. He wrapped his arms around my waist and I wrapped my legs around his. My hands were around his neck.

We probably looked like a movie. Him holding me and kissing me in the rain. I didn't care that there were probably people watching us. I felt like I was in heaven. I felt complete again. My heart felt whole.

We didn't even break apart to breathe. His lips moved passionately with mine. My heart was racing, I felt fire coarse through my veins. We broke apart breathing heavily.

"I didn't turn around because if I did I would have never left. I missed you so much. I couldn't concentrate on anything. All I could do was think about you. I was miserable. I missed every single thing about you." He panted.

"You better never leave me again, Cullen. I swear I will die the next time." I leaned my forehead against his.

"Never. You are sticking with me forever." He promised.

"Good." I said.

"I love you Bella." He said.

"I love you too." I told him.

"I think we should get inside before we get sick." He laughed.

"I think we should." I laughed. My first real laugh since he left.

Edward's POV

Three weeks and four days without her. I can't believe I survived. I was in absolute hell.

I couldn't concentrate on anything. I messed up the littlest things. My heart was with her, so was my mind. I can't live without her. Even for a little while.

But she sounded happy when I talked to her on the phone. Maybe I was just miserable without her, and it really didn't matter to her. My heart had hurt at the thought. But Alice called me.

She told me she was miserable and that she was literally dead and she knew I was no better.

She said that Bella didn't smile, she didn't laugh and she cried all the time.

As soon as I heard that I packed my bags and came back. I couldn't stand for her to be miserable. She was My Bella, she deserved all the happiness in the world.

I snapped at everyone on the plane, at the airport. I just had to get to her. I saw her walking through the courtyard. She wasn't my Bella. She wasn't smiling, her eyes looked dead and she looked lost.

She looked up and saw me I know she did. Then she shook her head.

She doesn't want me here…

She looked up at me again and started walking towards me. She looked so sad and confused. She stood in front of me staring at me.

"Your just hallucinating Bella." She mumbled to herself.

"Bella." I whispered.

Her head snapped up, her eyes went wide. She ran to me and jumped into my arms. God I missed her so much. I can't believe I thought that we would be okay.

She let out a strangled sob.

"Edward." She cried.

I held her close to me. I never wanted to let her go. Never.

"Bella. I missed you so much." I whispered kissing the top of her head.

She pushed him away and slapped my chest.

"You stupid! How could you just leave like that?" She yelled.

"You made me. You said that you wanted me to go!"

"And you believed me? You know me better than anyone! How could you think I would survive without you? I can't live without you, idiot. You didn't even offer to say! You just left!"

"You didn't ask me too. I would have stayed if you just asked me to even once. I didn't want to go. I wasn't going to go. But you said that you would be okay and that I should go."

I only left because she seemed okay wit me going, she seemed happy.

"You don't know how much it killed me to watch you leave. You didn't even turn around once. You just left. And I missed you so much. Everywhere I looked I fucking saw you. I felt so lonely. I can't live without you damnit."

She was beautiful when she was angry, and I deserved it. I crashed my lips against her before she could finish. I just had to kiss her. I missed touching her, holding her hand, I missed every single thing about her.

Her lips felt amazing against mine. She wrapped her legs around my waist and her hands went behind my neck pulling on the hair at the base of my neck.

I felt complete again. I had my heart back. She was with me, and I knew I made the stupidest mistake. I couldn't go without seeing her for one day how the hell was I going to live for six months. She was a part of me.

A part I always needed.

"I didn't turn around because if I did I would have never left. I missed you so much. I couldn't concentrate on anything. All I could do was think about you. I was miserable. I missed every single thing about you." I panted when we broke apart.

"You better never leave me again, Cullen. I swear I will die the next time." She leaned her forehead against mine.

"Never. You are sticking with me forever." I promised.

"Good." She smiled.

"I love you Bella."

"I love you too." She said.

"I think we should get inside before we get sick." I laughed noting the irony of the situation. It seemed to be right out of a movie.

"I think we should." She laughed.

Oh how I missed that laugh.

I carried her all the way back to her room. Everyone was staring at us. But I didn't really care, all I cared about was the beautiful woman that was in my arms. The woman I am going to spend the rest of my life with.

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Sorry for not updating for so long. School has started which means I have tons of homework.

It got better, what did I tell you? :P

Lol.

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