Author Note: (claws my way out of grave) Haha, hello again. Sorry for the wait (as said by a lot of fanfiction authors).
The story is now on ON.
Chapter 3: The Purification of Dedan
The Batter and Alpha left the post office, running outside to the area's train station. The baseball player looked a bit eager to chase after Dedan, which the Add-On thought was out of character for him. However, he decided not to probe into it, as the Batter was not likely to answer him.
An Elsen, standing outside the station, announced, "The train to Alma is... hhh... available."
"That's rather convenient." the Batter nodded, secretly questioning the convenient timing. Before he could stroll into the giant metal cart, though, the Elsen held out his arm, denying entrance.
"W-wait... it's... dangerous in Alma... specters... the boss is hhh... angry..."
"...If that place is so dangerous, then why is the train there available?" Alpha questioned the pale man.
"...I..." the Elsen started to shake. "I..." instead of becoming a Burnt, like every other Elsen up until that point, he ran away screaming.
The Batter merely shrugged and got into the train, waiting for it to begin its journey.
Dedan stomped into the entrance room to Zone 1, which was crowded with Elsens - they were in complete a complete uproar.
"M-Master Dedan, there are specters... in the meat..."
"I am very afraid..."
"H-Help us!"
"Shut your traps!" Dedan snapped, instantly silencing the room. "Alright, listen up maggots. This place is going on lock down. Some bastard ghost king will be visiting any moment now." this distressed the Elsens even more, as they started to take even deeper breaths. Dedan, unaware of his employees plight, continued.
"One of you guard the entrance, and some of you guard the pedalos. I'll be dealing with the ectoplasmic pests inside. We're not letting this stupid ghost and his accomplice stomp all over us!" He went through the door leading into Alma's inner sanctum; he briefly popped his head back into the room to deliver one last message. "By the way, if I see him around here, you're all fucking fired."
If that isn't stressful, I don't know what is.
Minutes after Dedan made his announcement to his employees, our heroes reached Alma. They exited the train, passing under the giant sign that proudly stated the area's name while light rain (which is technically plastic, I suppose) dripped down.
The two ran into the entrance room to Alma. An Elsen, the appointed guard into Alma proper, looked at them as they entered. His eyes widened upon setting them on Alpha's ring body. "I... welcome to... Alma. Before you can enter, you must... hhhgh... answer some rigorous questions."
The Batter diverted his game from him to a set of calendar pages taped to the wall. The papers were intricately made, with detail that you never see in calendars - gratuitous French words dotted the pages as well. "...Do these questions relate to these calendar pages?"
"...Y-yes."
"And are you actually going to let us in if we answer you correctly?"
"...No." he admitted bashfully. "All of this is... formality. Alma is on lockdown and... hhhgh... p-please leave."
"Oh. In that case." without warning, the Batter swung his bat at the Elsen's gut. The poor fellow crumpled to the ground, coughing violently.
"What the fuck are you doing!" Alpha screamed, appalled at what the Batter just did; while the Elsen was plotting to inconvenience them with a calendar puzzle, it was not worth a whack to the gut.
"He was going to turn into a Burnt anyway." the Batter huffed. "Look."
Smoke started to stream out of the Elsen's mouth as his head darkened, as if he was burning to a crisp. "You... you bear me much ill-will!" The head promptly exploded as the Elsen went Burnt. The Burnt lunged at the Batter, but at this point, the baseball player was strong enough to defeat him with a second blow. The enemy, slumped against a wall and only wheezed once more before he disappeared.
"...What is wrong with you?" the Add-On questioned.
"It was necessary." the Batter responded with indifference, advancing through the door the Elsen guarded.
The first thing to hit the Batter was the smell of fresh meats. The smells radiated from pools warm meat, surrounded by green platforms and buildings. Beef and pork and chicken spun in their pools of sauce and marinade, ready to be harvested.
If you're a vegetarian, I'm sorry.
There was another Elsen, a guide of sorts, who walked up to greet them. He was clearly baffled by their appearance. "V-Visitors...? But we're on... hhh... welcome."
"...Are you going to offer the usual explanation?" the Batter asked.
"The what...?"
"The explanation for this." he gestured at the pools of meat.
"...Oh. Y-yes." the Elsen guided them down a green walkway, talking and pointing at the pools. "We are in the meat fountains of Alma, in the heart of Zone 1. Here, we workers seize the various meats that are spewed from the ground, deep within the earth. We collect the meat and send it off to the other zones, so that their inhabitants may eat and get precious nutrients and vitamins. As the first element, meat is the most essential.
"Because without meat, people would starve. They would fall dead one after the other."
The heroes did not bother to question the authenticity of meat being the 'most essential element'. Alpha floated over one of the pools before looking (?) at their guide. "That doesn't explain why the meat is in the fucking ground."
"...S-save your questions for the end of the tour."
"Of course. Let's just leave everything vague."
"Yes. That is how... we prefer things."
As they strolled along the meat, the Batter looked ahead and saw a towering green building, with the usual gate of impassable blocks in front of it. "What is that building?"
"T-that is the office of M-Master... hhh... Dedan,.. N-nobody has e-ever visited him in his office in... hhhhgh... recent memory... hhh..hold on..." the Elsen turned to look at them with a raised eyebrow. "Um... who are you two.. exactly?"
"I am the Batter and this is Alpha. We're here to liberate the world of malignancy."
"L-liberators...?" he fidgeted around. "Um... well, then.. can you liberate me?" Without warning, his head exploding, releasing the smoke within.
"Not again." Alpha said as he watched his transformation. From the sky, two Tiburces descended, having sensed the fight that was going to occur. The two purifiers charged into yet another battle while ragtime music played.
The trio of specters were soundly defeated, but the Elsen lingered around for a bit longer. The Elsen rasped, "Perhaps... it's better this way." Then, he disappeared, joining the two Tiburces.
The Batter and Alpha proceeded up the walkway when they saw the silhouette of a man - they approached cautiously. "Hahaha! The meat fountain of Alma is marvelous, isn't it?" Upon closer inspection, the man turned out to be Zacharie, the fourth-wall breaking shopkeeper from earlier, keeping his promise to return. "It's a shame that this is only a story. The more carnivorous of our readers would appreciate the sights and smells of this area."
"...How did you get in here." The Batter asked bluntly.
"Does it matter when I've got new gear for you? Come, forego all questions and upgrade your equipment!" The Batter shrugged and indulged him, getting new gear for him and Alpha, as well as a few Luck Tickets and meats.
After getting his new equipment, Alpha had attempted to fly over the barrier guarding Dedan's office. Somehow, despite floating directly above them, he got stuck - maybe the blocks are magic or something. "Hey, Mask Dork."
"Yes?"
"How are we supposed to bust into this place and kick the guy's ass?"
"Hmmm... I'm not allowed to say. I'm contracted to only give a single hint, and I'm saving that bit for later." Zacharie answered. "Try looking around. I'm sure there's some vague clue around this place."
"Right. Let's head on, Alpha." The Batter said. They left the salesman to his own devices and they took a pathway that wound around the building. They were met with an Elsen, who was standing in front of a button in the shape of a walking man. The Elsen did not seem to notice them, muttering to himself and sweating.
"We don't work hard enough we don't work hard enough..."
"Excuse me..."
"...We don't... work... hhhhhg... hard... enough!" Once again, the Elsen turned into a Burnt, and two Tiburces heralded his transformation by floating down from the sky.
"This is going to be repetitive." He sighed, sensing that they'll be fighting a lot more Burnts from here.
Blah blah blah, specters are defeated. "We don't work hard enough..." the Elsen repeated as he faded away.
"These guys really need to calm the hell down." Alpha grunted. "There should be a union. Or whatever the hell they call it."
...Actually, that's a good idea, Alpha.
"What?"
That does it then. You and the Batter are now the leaders of a union.
"What."
Come on. This is a rewrite, and a rather unflattering one at that. I can do whatever I want as long as it all fits in the overall plot and conventions.
"You can't do this." the Batter growled at I, the narrator.
Then, somebody walked in to come to my defense. "He's right." Zacharie intervened. "This is his story, and he has already mutated some concepts in this story."
Thank you Zacharie.
"You're welcome. Now, back to my unassuming role as a salesman." the masked man walked away, whistling.
"This is ridicu-" The Batter heard a 'ping' and he looked down at his tunic. A shining button that read 'THE BATTER - UNION FOUNDER' was on his tunic - a similar button was on Alpha's body. They both quickly tore off their buttons and decided to ignore my nonsense. "Right, let's press this button." He walked up to the button on the wall and firmly pressed it. A loud screeching noise roared through the air and something descended from the sky...
A pedalo, a swan looking boat, landed into a waterwe... er, meatway leading north. Alpha was appropriately confused. "What the hell." He looked at the Batter. "What is this."
"A pedalo."
"...This is a pedalo?"
"Yes. The Narrator did not change this - it looks exactly as it should be."
"...Who would make something so fucking stupid?"
"I'm not sure, but it's functional." The Batter stepped into the pedalo and crouched into it to get comfortable. "Riding inside?"
"I'd rather not." the Add-On preferred to keep his dignity.
"Very well then." The Batter moved his feet and located the pedals that rowed the pedalo. Riding it like a bike, the pedalo glided across the surface of the meat, which made oozing sounds as it traveled. Alpha floated closely behind, looking at the ridiculous vehicle moving around and glad that he wasn't in it...
Until something popped out of the meat. It was a long, alligator-like ghost that stretched from out of the meat. Alpha barely had time to react when it clenched its jaw around him. "AAAARGH WHAT THE SHIIIIT!"
The Batter watched the ghost chew on Alpha while casually using Wide Angle. "That is a Troquantary, an aquatic ghoul with a radiant smile." As he said that, the monster grinned, its teeth shining radiantly while it bit into Alpha as if he was an onion ring.
"HELP ME DAMN YOU!"
The Batter rose up from his seat and smacked the Troquantary in the jaw with his bat and fuck I don't want to spell out its name every time. We're calling 'Troquantaries' 'Trogdors' now, is that okay?
"It really isn't." the Batter said, annoyed by the stupid change.
Well too bad. It's a Trogdor now. Anyway, the whack was hard enough to break some of the Trogdor's teeth, allowing Alpha to squeeze through and escape its grasp. The Trogdor roared in anger, due to being hurt and having its name changed. It struck the Batter, almost making him lose balance on the pedalo. He and Alpha started to double team the Trogdor, hitting it repeatedly until it let out a dying gasp. The Trogdor sunk into the meat, dead - the meat is definitely not USDA approved. Or whatever the OFF equivalent of it is.
"...Calling those things Trogdors are actually easier than pronouncing its full name." Alpha commented.
Thank you.
"Can we please just put this behind us?" the Batter said.
Fine. The Batter continued to sail down the stream of meat (Alpha wisely chose to float next to him from now on). As they went along, they noticed pairs of numbers painted on the wall - a number indicating a sequence starting from 1 and a number that's presumably the number inputted in the sequence. Of course, I could just tell you the numbers, but no. That's silly. Go play the game yourself to find these elusive numbers - also to find the accuracy that this story clearly so lacks.
After fighting a pair of Trogdors, the Batter parked the pedalo at the end of the stream, northwest of Dedan's office. There was an Elsen blocking a switch that summoned another pedalo, but it seemed like a pointless gesture; the guy was also rambling about wanting to work in peace and never being sick to himself, so the heroes decided it'd be best to ignore him, so they continued on. Behind the building was a set of ten blocks arranged like a keypad floating above an isolated pool of meat - quite obviously, this was where the numbers from earlier are to be inputted. Unfortunately, the Batter had to get a new pedalo to get in the pool, and the button was, once again, guarded by an Elsen.
"I don't want to be Burnt." the Elsen murmured. Both parties waited for a fight to begin... but the Elsen did not go Burnt, nor did any Tiburces fly in to fight for kicks. Instead, the Elsen was looking at the Batter quizzically. "Are you... from the union...?"
"...What...?" The Batter looked down at his tunic to see that the name tag was back, drawing a sigh from him.
"It... it's good to see you. I.. suppose." the Elsen rasped, looking somewhat happier. "Having to defend this place from hhhh... i-intruders was not in my, uh, job description."
Instead of being annoyed by the situation like his handler, Alpha decided to take advantage of this situation. "We understand. Look, we'll talk to your asshole boss. You just move away from this switch, got it?"
The Elsen paused before nodding. "Y-yes. Thank you!" He stepped to the side gratefully. "If you don't mind... can you get us sick days? I mean, well, none of us have ever been, well, sick... but... the notion would be nice..."
"Sure." the Batter answered insincerely while he slammed the button, summoning a pedalo into the pool.
"O-oh golly! I think I'll, um, tell the others about this! ...Assuming that they haven't, hhhh, expired!" and so the Elsen went off to talk to the remaining Elsens, preventing me from having to write anymore Burnt battles for the time being.
The Batter prodded four blocks in turn - they started to bob in the air quicker, confirming that he was pressing them correctly. He looked at Alpha with a commanding gaze. "Alpha, fly around and look for more numbers."
The Add-On shook in disagreement. "No way. There's no way in hell I'm going through those damn smiling specters."
"Then float. Really fast."
"Look, there's no way I'm going to-"
That's when he caught a proper glimpse at the eyes hidden by the Batter's cap.
"OKAY I'M GOING, FUCK YOU!" Alpha tried to sound exasperated to hide his fear as he flew away - the guy had one hell of a glare. While he flew over the rivers of meat (infested with Trogdors, of course), he pondered about the Batter. The guy is clearly serious about purifying the world and fighting the specters - too serious. The Add-On chose to shrug it off, however. As long as the guy's doing good and, well, his owner, the means justified the ends. So, he went back to memorizing numbers. And screaming at the ghosts snapping at him from below.
"How did it go?" The Batter asked Alpha, the Add-On now sporting multiple bite marks, when he came back.
"Fix. This." he growled in pain. The baseball player nodded and broke out Saving First Base and a few Luck Tickets to get Alpha fully healed up. No longer looking like a chewed up onion ring, Alpha poked at the blocks, continuing from where The Batter left off. Upon hitting the last block, all of them turned transparent, floating rapidly - presumably, they got it right.
The Batter and Alpha started their way back to the entrance of Alma; there was no one to hinder them, except for the ghosts lingering the red rivers. Upon reaching the entrance, they noticed that there was no longer a barrier to Dedan's office - there was also a group of Elsens huddled together near the front, with Zacharie watching them intently. "What seems to be going on?" the Batter asked him.
"They're discussing forming a group." Zacharie answered. "Of course, this did not exist in the original form in this tale - I'm curious to see where this is going."
"Ah." he had a sneaking suspicion that this had something to do with the whole union thing.
But enough about my bullshit, he had a holy job to do. The Batter walked toward the towering building, but before he could set a proper foot through the door, a cat, The Judge, emerged from inside. "You again?" a surprised Alpha said. "How in the holy fuck do you and that Masked Dork over there get to places before us?"
"Well..." the Judge playfully licked his paw. "As my trading comrade sometimes rambles, dear foul-mouthed Add-On, he claims that our presence is 'scripted', whatever that may mean and entail."
The Batter looked down at the talking cat and at the ominous entrance. "Have you seen Dedan in there?"
"The Guardian of this Zone? Why, I believe he's pacing in the innermost part of his office - he's trying to fit the recent specter infestations and production troubles in his schedule, and he has a hard time trying to figure it out for himself. Behind his provocative and deformed exterior is a rather calculating personality - of course, this is a bit too much for him to deal with at the moment.
"Are you heading inside yourself?" the man standing above him nodded. "Ah. Well, Dedan is trying to relax himself - rather futilely I might add - with music. His building is a maze of a sort, and it will send you back to whence you came if you pursue a wrong turn - follow the tune, and I'm confident that you'll find him."
"Thank you."
"No, I must thank you. I've scratched at that barrier for awhile, yearning for escape."
The Batter and Alpha just stared at him - it was hard to imagine the sophisticated talker acting like a normal cat. Then, Alpha asked, "What are you doing here anyway?"
"Ah. Well, it's nothing for you to be concerned with - at the moment. I'm simply searching for somebody, that's all."
"Any luck with that?" Zacharie suddenly spoke out, making the others' heads turn.
"I'm afraid not." the cat shook his head at his apparent friend.
"Hmm. I haven't seen the person you seek either. Zone 2 might be your best bet."
"Thank you, Zacharie." The feline trotted away, passing by the Elsens, who were in the middle of a heated discussion.
"...I'm sure that... hhhh... their negotiations with Master D-Dedan will be successful..."
"Should we... trust them though? They did sort of, um, kill some of us..."
"To be killed in that ghastly form is... hhhh... a blessing. Now then... should we, um, make badges?"
Truly, what an important conversation. Unfortunately, the Batter did not find it as important and proceeded on into the building.
The innards of the building was a fine majestic purple, with red meat oozing into small ponds at the corners of each room. Each room was perfectly identical - which is of course a problem for those trying to make their way through. The Batter and Alpha spent the first minute wandering aimlessly through the rooms, only to get stuck within a loop, bringing them back to the first room and adding to the pool of utter frustration.
Alpha laid on the ground, exhausted with all the running around. "Augh... what kind of a maniac builds a place like this?"
"A screaming one..." The Batter huffed, taking a break to regather himself. While they stood there, they heard nothing... except for a faint melody coming down from one of the passageways. An imaginary lightbulb lit itself above the Batter's head. "Do you hear that?"
"The sound of my anger?
"No... it's music." With that, the Batter immediately started running, like a proper baseball player would after hitting a ball. Alpha tailed behind him, and indeed, he started to hear the music too. The architecture showed no sign of them getting closer, but the music got louder as they went through the right doors.
However, something jumped out through one of the doors (one that leads you back to the entrance, I might add), intending to impede their progress - a small, horse-like specter was blocking the away, along with a Tiburce flunky. "The ghosts are in here too?" Alpha said in surprise.
"Corruption runs rather deep." The Batter stated before going into Wide Angle mode. "The new phantom is an Arpagon, a four-legged ghoul with a liable breath."
The Arpagon hissed angrily and lunged at Alpha, taking a bite out of him. "Get away from me!" In response, the Add-On punched the ghoul back. After the conflict-loving Tiburce attacked, The Batter struck the Arpagon with a Competence, finishing it off. The crusaders easily dealt with the Tiburce before proceeding onward.
Luckily, they didn't run into any more trouble by the time they reached the exit. There was a larger pool of meat surrounding the ground, with a set of stairs leading up to a giant door. The Batter made a practice swing with his bat and grinned. "Today you'll be purified, Guardian of Zone 1."
Dedan shuffled in his office restlessly. The music he played did not help his worries, nor did the steady flow of the meat waterfalls behind him. A calendar laid on his desk, with lots of dates and activites scribbled all over it. Dedan growled to himself, frustration setting in. "Euuurgh... this is too much..." Finally, he roared. He picked up the calendar and began tearing at it, letting the scraps fly around. "STUPID FOWL-ASSED SPIRITS!"
He huffed, his breaths expanding his iron hard skin. He stared ahead to look into his sanctum - now being besieged by ghosts- which would take him a day to clean out. Then there was the post office and the mines and...
Then the Guardian noticed the two people standing in his office: the baseball-clothed weirdo and the circular ghost lord. Obviously, he responded by flipping his shit. "YOU TWO!" He slammed his hands into his desk, leaving two distinctive cracks in them. "WHY THE HELL ARE YOU TWO HERE? WHAT PART OF 'I'M GOING TO KILL YOU' DO YOU NOT GET? ARE YOU GUYS CRAZY? ARE YOU GUYS COMPLETELY RETARDED?"
"I assure you, we are not mentally handicapped." The Batter said.
"SHUT UP!" He shifted his gaze at Alpha. "TAKE YOUR SHIT PHANTOMS AND GET OUT! THIS IS YOUR LAST CHANCE!"
"It's not my fault these damn ghosts are running around!" Alpha snapped. "Does it look like I enjoy putting angry chucklefuck alligator ghosts in our food source? What kind of a dumbass would do that!"
"I don't know, you tell me!"
"What part of 'this is not my fault' do you not understand?"
"Then what are you two annoying asses doing here anyway?" He looked at the Batter's tunic and frowned. "The union?"
The questioned man groaned and ripped the respawned nametag off of himself. "No, we are not fro-"
"Look, I may be verbally abusive, but it's necessary." the coat-wearing Guardian grumbled. "There's a whole grand world out there, and this Zone makes half the shit everybody needs! I need everybody working, and we can't slack off! So what if a few guys turn into phantom turncoats? It's the way it's got to be, got it!" For whatever reason, Dedan's tone was melancholic for the last two sentences. "This Zone ain't nothing without me! I am its enforcer, its Guardian, its inspector!"
The Batter did not appear to care. "Fascinating, but this 'union' is merely a silly invention impeding my real goal."
"What might that be, clown man?"
"Eliminating you."
The room was silenced with this comment. Dedan's eyes shifted from the bat clenched in the hostile's hand to the aggressive Add-On. The Batter grinned. And then Dedan grinned. And he laughed - he actually wiped tears from his hollow eyes. "You two are complete dipshits... to think that you can take me on...
"In honor of the almighty Queen, I will rip that insufferable smile off of your face!"
His fist glowed, prompting a shout from Alpha. "Get out of the way!" He flew to the side and the Batter ducked in time; Dedan punched his desk, sending it across the room and sailing above The Batter's head.
Dedan stomped toward them with his coat unbuttoned, a bony grimace on his face, and his fists glowing with a strange aura. "BRING IT ON, MAGGOTS!" He ran at The Batter and punched him as he got up, sending the baseball player several feet away.
Instead of reaching for his bat, the Batter did a quick scan with, you guessed it, Wide Angle. "Dedan, the Guardian of Zone 1..." he read off with the information the Competence granted him.
"Nice observation!" Alpha snarked as he Chain'd into Dedan, making the Guardian whirl around and chase after him.
"...has two special attacks that inflict raging dementia and brings people to sleep." The bat-wielder was grateful that he picked up some Belial's Meat from Zacharie. With Dedan distracted, the man took up his bat and whacked him on the head; a normally lethal blow only left a bruise on Dedan's head.
"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Dedan spun, his hand glowing with a different color. "Hour Hand!"
He slapped the Batter across the face, making him fall to the ground. He did not get up - he had fallen asleep. "Hey, now's not the time to be resting!" Alpha screeched, prodding the resting man. "What about your missi-"
He was suddenly hit over the head with a music player, ending the music that they heard while they were seeking out Dedan - Dedan himself was standing over the Add-On with the broken remnants of the player. "That's for trying to ruin my Zone!"
The Add-On lashed out with Saturated Chain, knocking the guy back. "I'M NOT A DAMN GHOST!" He quickly turned his attention to his napping ally. "Get up! What did you use again..." He floated above the man and searched through his pockets like a thief, searching for something. "Here we go." He then unceremoniously slapped a piece of Belial's Meat onto the Batter's face.
The bat-wielder's eyes snapped awake, the juices from the meat seeping into his skin and awakening him. Still feeling a bit drowsy, he sat up and absent-mindedly chewed on the raw-looking slab. After he swallowed it, he said, "Thanks. I'd appreciate it if you didn't put it on my face, though."
"Yeah, whatever." The Add-On flew to the side, avoiding a swing from Dedan. The Batter quickly took a swing of his own, hitting the Guardian in the face, denting Dedan's giant teeth.
"GAAAAH! YOU ARROGANT FUCKS! I'LL MAKE YOU WISH YOU'VE NEVER BEEN BORN!" He rapidly swung his fists, muttering 'Minute Hand' and 'Sweep Hand' under his breath as he struck the Batter and Alpha repeatedly, bringing down their health. Noticing their poor condition, the Batter pulled out some Luck Tickets from his pocket and stuck it on himself and Alpha, letting the magic power inside of them heal them. Unfortunately, Dedan did not have any healing item on him - he certainly did not expect to meet with his quarrelsome equals, after all.
"Concede, Dedan!" The Batter yelled, smashing his weapon into Dedan's chest - the Guardian felt something crack as he stepped back.
"You... you..." then, he let out a rapid storm of curses - the swear words incomprehensible in his sheer rage. Then, believe it or not (you better believe it, with the weird stuff in this story), his language started to take a physical form, a speech bubble with a foreign character within in it growing out of his giant jaw.
Alpha started to shake uncontrollably as the bubble emerged. He heard something from it. Something annoying. He heard mocking laughter and language in his head, the speech balloon invading his thoughts. "You... stop.. LAUGHING!" The Add-On shouted and rammed into the bubble, not even bothering to use a Competence. The balloon was immediately felled.
However, the Batter noticed that something was definitely wrong; his comrade was not in control of his actions. The floating circle just screamed with fury, ramming into Dedan repeatedly, not thinking to use his stronger Competence moves. Realizing that the bubble infected him with fury, the Batter dug another piece of Belial's Meat out of his uniform and threw it toward Alpha; it went through the middle of his body, glowed, and disappeared, as if Alpha's body vaporized it.
The Add-On stopped shaking. "What..." he seemed unaware of his period of rage. However, he set his sights upon Dedan and quickly remembered what he was doing. "Oy, I'm not done with you, you damn bare-chested buffoon!"
Dedan was knocked down by a Saturated Chain. He got up and rose his fists, able to continue fighting, but was weakening. He felt aches within his bones, a feeling he hadn't felt in years. He wiped his forehead to get rid of the sweat, and he was shocked to see that it was blood. He never bleeds. Roaring, Dedan lashed out with another Hour Hand, this time lulling Alpha to sleep. However, the Batter simply grabbed another piece of meat and cured him. Dedan's human-like enemy pulled out a cooked slab of Silver Flesh and ate it; The Batter looked relaxed as the special meat restored his Competence. He threw another piece for Alpha to devour before they both continued their assault. More and more blows kept coming at Dedan, injuring bones, sometimes snapping them, causing him to bleed, bruising his already deformed skin, it was too much for the Guardian to take. As for them, they just kept recovering, from their injuries and the rage and drowsiness he afflicted on them.
He threw a punch at the Batter. This time, the pure white-clothed man simply stood there and took the punch to the face. The Batter spit out a glob of saliva and blood, but otherwise, he was unfettered. Dedan stepped away from him, a bit frightened. The Batter ran toward him, bat poised. The hero Ran with Courage and struck Dedan on the top of the head. Something flashed in the Guardian's eyes and his vision blurred as a literal head-splitting pain overtook him. Dedan fell on the floor, and he found himself unable to stand back up. The Batter and Alpha just stood over him, watching him bleed - it was clear that they thought he was done for. Dedan just crawled over to the remnants of his desk, the meat waterfalls dripping in front of him. He turned over in his blood-stained coat, to look at his conqueror, and for a moment, he thought he saw something else within the holy man. "What are... what... have you..."
"You have been defeated, Dedan, Guardian of Zone 1." The Batter said satisfied, putting his bat away, the job completed.
"You..." Dedan tried to reach out toward The Batter with his hand, but, he suddenly faltered. His arm lowered to the floor as Dedan wheezed in pain, feeling death approaching.
"This land is now pure."
And then everything went to white.
The story is now on PAUSE
Author's Note: Ah, this is finally finished. This chapter was written over the span of five days, full of suffering and me being forced to read the Great Gatsby and answer questions on it. I don't care that it's classic literature, it bores me.
Changes from the original game:
* Trogdors and the union. That is all.
* The Judge leaving Dedan's office and foreshadowing future events.
* Less Burnt fights because I'm tired of writing those.
* Skipping the puzzle into Alma. Also skimming through the puzzle to get into Dedan's office. I'm sorry if you wanted to see the characters' puzzle-induced frustration in their full glory.
* Flesh Maze Tango has manifested in the real world. Hallelujah.
* It'd be boring for Alpha, The Batter, and Dedan to stand in place while fighting, so I made it more dynamic. Originally, I was going to have them chase each other through the maze, but I wanted Dedan to die in his office, like in the game. Plus. I'm not that good at writing fight scenes, so that's where I draw the line.
Clearly, I've failed at my goal of writing one chapter a week. My new goal is to write at least one chapter a month, from now on. Even though the last update was two months ago, so I already failed at even that. OH WELL I'LL TRY.
What hi-jinks will the Batter and Alpha get into Zone 2? Who is the Judge looking for? Is the union a one-off gag? Who is the health inspector for Alma, because clearly, the meat is full of ghosts, and that's just ridiculous. You probably know the answers to most of these questions if you played the game, but still, check out the next chapter when it arrives! Thank you for reading, and I promise that the story won't go un-updated for months again!