How-To: Be a Male Cheerleader and Look Sexy Doing It

[WARNING]
Again, the following contains hilarity, epic randomness, certain words, boys in skirts, a jealous diva and, most importantly, Kaito himself. Read at your own cost.

~ How-To #2 - BIGGEST LIFE ACCOMPLISHMENT: ACCOMPLISHED.
[Posted: FRI 1/10/14 (Read: MONTH/DAY/YEAR) 7:44 PM]

I CAN'T STOP LAUGHING!

Like, right now, my face is all like this: XDDDDDDDD

IN YO FACE, PIGTAILS!

Who said guys couldn't be cheerleaders anyway? I TOTALLY proved your ass wrong! OOOOH, I feel so PUMPED! GO VOCALOIDS, GO! ^o^)/*

... Confused? Do not worry your pretty head, I confuse a lot of people. Well, first off, if you didn't already know this, my school's mascot is the Vocaloid; which, by the way, looks incredibly badass. Oh, and I attend Vocalia Academy, in case you didn't know THAT either. The Headmaster will kill me if he found out I'm using such bad language in my blog, using the school's computers, but do I give a damn? NO.

So, yeah, ANYWAY. Enough about school, let's get to the stuff you've all been waiting for! Alright, now that you know what school I attend, I can begin my story. So, winter VK was officially over Monday morning and, since it's a new year, VA hosted try-outs for their various sport programs, music facilities, and even the stuck-up cheerleading squad that Pigtails just so happens to be the leader of. But of course, such info isn't important.

At all.

Okay, so I was sitting in my table with my friends and Kagamine when I saw the cutest little girl in school (Rin-chan~!) run over to her big brother (the amazing Kaito Shion). I'll tell you, she looked absolutely tired and down-right worn-out when she came over to me. Like, she looked as if she'd pass out any second! Oh, and with her cute little bow all plopped down (I swear that thing is freaking ALIVE) and her thin arms trembling I couldn't help but become protective! After all, I've known her since I was little, but that's another story.

Anyway, she did that cute little bow of hers before speaking, but the poor thing didn't seem to be able to get anything out! Of course, I offered her some of my water and let her sit on my lap. She's just so cute~! x3

... Oh God...

Is this what they call fangirling? Cheerleading changed me... C'mon, I used the 'x3' emoticon for the first time in my life, for crying out loud! Dx

*cough* B-But, yeah! She rested against my chest as she managed to say, "Kai-nii, Miku... That devil forced me to run around the track field ten times without mercy... And I think... I'm about ready to die of exhaustion..."

THAT BITCH- "Don't worry, my little Rin-chan! I WILL avenge thee, I promise!"

She nodded in such a cute way before closing her little eyes. And in that moment, I knew...

Shit was going to go down.

And, of course, shit went down. NOBODY messes with my little sister, whether it be Rin-chan or Kaiko! And thus, I found myself slamming my hand onto the sign-up table for the cheerleading squad. I looked at that son of a bitch directly in the eyes as I said in the most epic voice ever:

"Sign me up, Pigtails."

Of course, SHE had to start off with the whole 'Pigtails' bit, and then after that, she went off on a BORING rant about how I was being incredibly 'feminine' and how I 'didn't have the brain NOR the brawn that it takes to be a cheerleader'.

Cheerleading doesn't involve neither brain OR brawn, that's what makes it easy! I needed to join another 'physical activity' anyway. Y'know, build up my resume and all that.

It wasn't easy to get in there, I'll tell you that. I was FORCED to go out with her slutty friend. The way she always touched me... I shudder just THINKING about thinking it. So glad that's over, I never want to go through that again! Ugh...

But, yeah, it was totally worth it! Hatsune eventually let me sign up and in three days from that, it was time for try-outs! The thing I hated the most about it?

Having to wear a skirt.

In PUBLIC.

It was so HARD for me to even get inside that deadly contraption! Oh, and I wasn't the only one... Oh no...

THINK THE NEXT TIME YOU DARE TO LAUGH AT ME, KAGAMINE. OH HO, ESPECIALLY YOU, KAMUI!

So, yeah, it was all three of us in skirts dancing to one of the school's signature songs, 'SING&SMILE'. I looked totally sexy, as expected. Kagamine just looked gayer than ever and Kamui...

EW, DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON WHAT HE DID...!

Of course, I NAILED that audition, no doubt about that. Len was offered a chance to join (why, I will never know), but he refused. Kamui...

He's not allowed to step foot in neither the stadium, the field, nor the dressing rooms for the rest of the year. All I'll say. *shudder*

And, at last, I was offered the chance to challenge the school's diva to a cheerleading match-off!

... BUUUUUT, apparently, there was no such thing officially, so we had to settle with doing it at my backyard after-school on Friday. Go figure.

Friday eventually came, and I spend the days beforehand preparing and sweating like I never had before because I was NOT loosing to Pigtails, thank you very much! I wanted sweet little Rin-chan to be proud of her onii-chan!

Oh, Rin-chan, if you're reading this, I freaking LOVE you. You're so cute~ :3

SeeU, fuck off. (Totally random, but she follows me and she won't stop blabbering about my brother. I had to do it.)

That said, IT WAS TIME FOR THE FIGHT OF A LIFETIME. ... Well, I've had even more dangerous fights before, so maybe not, but WHATEVER. That's not the point.

I started off with an amazing kick and flip, spelling out the word 'V-O-C-A-L-I-A' in a sing-song voice. She counterattacked by doing a 360 in the air and landing on the ground with one leg up and an arm raised as she said, "GO VOCALOIDS, GO!"

Well, what did I do, you ask? Hehe...

XDDDDD

I-I'm sorry, it was- HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAH~!

Oh my gosh, I'm laughing all over again! XDDDDDDDD

Ah... :'D

Ok, ok, so it was in that glorious moment in where I kicked my leg so high up, not even the most experienced cheerleader (if that even EXISTS) could've pulled it off. But I didn't exactly think it through, and that's when the greatest moment in the history of my life happened.

I kicked Hatsune.

IN THE FACE.

Biggest life accomplishment? I believe so. I deserve a medal! BD

A couple girls from the audience rushed over to help her, but I ignored them. The show must go on after all! So, immediately after the kick, I flipped my body back three times (I didn't even know I was capable of doing that!) and landed perfectly on one leg, both of my arms raised as I said, "V-O-C-A-L-O-I-D! WHAT'S THAT SPELL? VOCALOIIIIIID! GO, GO, GO!"

And THAT, my friends, is how I became a badass cheerleader AND kicked Hatsune's face in all in the same day. BEST. FRIDAY. EVER.

Challenged someone but don't know how to beat 'em? Here's my How To!

How To: Win at Pretty Much Anything

Materials: Just your beautiful (or handsome :p) self if you plan on skipping a couple of the steps!

Step One: CHALLENGE THEM. "We already know this, Cap. Obvious!" I had a good day, so screw you if you said that, okay?!

Step One-point-five: If they refuse, don't give in, 'cause you know you GOT this. If you're a girl, force them into a relationship. See how THAT works out for you. Male? Wear a skirt. Simple as that.

Step Two: PREPARE. C'mon, you know you're gonna need this if you wanna completely CRUSH it.

Step Three: BATTLE TIME. I suggest warming up beforehand, it totally helps you out. Do your best! YOU GOT THISSS.

Step Four: WINNER. Rub it in everyone's faces, 'cause you won! :DD

Step Four-point-three: LOSER. Not much you can do except turn around and KICK YOUR OPPONENT IN DA FACE. Trust me, not only will you feel much better, it'll make your enemy worry about their broken nose instead of gloating! :)

I used these exact steps (except the skirt thing, 'cause not only am I NEVER wearing one again, Len agreed to it head-on) to beat Kagamine in an epic Pokemon battle! ... And I lost, so I followed step 4.3 and kicked him in the face! I was right, it DID make me feel better! :D

~ IceCreamGod18

[Comment] ~ [Like] ~ [Favorite] ~ [Follow IceCreamGod18]

Comment(s) - 636

Like(s) - 2, 193

Favorite(s) - 502

New Follower(s) - 42

LeekGirl87
I hate you. I seriously do. Then again, who doesn't? You sent me to the the freaking HOSPITAL. So, yeah, thanks so much! NOT! I hope you die, Shion! And Neru isn't a slut! She's just...well...a slut... I kinda regret forcing you into that one... KINDA! [Reply ~ Report]

AKAITO13
Bro, you went out with Akita? Damn, where have I been... [Reply ~ Report]

BananaLover138
I feel sorry for Miku... You sent her to the hospital, you know that? And you nearly sent me there as well... Asshole. And stop saying that Rin-san is cute! She's not cute at all... [Reply ~ Report]

OoRaysofSunshineoO
Kaito, your cute little blog makes me laugh so much! xD You live such an amazing life! I wish I was there with you! *^* We should totally see each other more often! :D [Reply ~ Report]

Darkness6
Big brother... You should be more careful. [Reply ~ Report]

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OrangesAreLove14
Kai-nii, that's not what I said at all... And Miku-chan is a very kind person! She's just...sometimes...really...scary... xc I dearly hope Miku-chan is all right... Though, judging by her comment on this, I can tell it doesn't bother her much. She's so strong... Ah! Welcome to the cheerleading squad, though you didn't have to do all of this for my sake... Luckily I wasn't there for Gakupo-senpai's show, huh? What did happen anyway? Oh! And I feel super excited to be practicing with you! c: [Reply ~ Report]

[IceCreamGod18 (In Reply to: OrangesAreLove14)
Even your username is cute! My cute little sister~ x3 You don't want to know about what Gakupo did. I desperately need brain bleach right now... And please don't go asking around! I want you to stay innocent! o*^*o]

A.N./ Hey~ I'm back with more of the amazing, incredibly sexy, and astonishingly talented Kaito Shion! x3 Have you guys seen his versions of 'SING&SMILE' and 'Tricolore Airline' for Project Diva Arcade FT? Pure perfection~ *u* (Also, his version of 'Rin-chan NOW!' [Len's in there, too] inspired me to make him obsessed with Rinny~) Speaking of perfection, any of you heard of TVXQ? My favorite K-Pop band so far. I can't stop listening to 'Catch Me'. I've been having it on repeat for the past hour. I've also fangirled over 'Something' and 'Spellbound'. Those two songs are awesome~

I would reply to all of your wonderful reviews, but I kinda have to go to sleep already... Just know I love all the positive feedback I've received from you all! I love you all very much! :3

~Character Index~

We should all pretty much know who they are, but if you need a refresher, then fine.

IceCreamGod18 - Kaito Shion

LeekGirl87 - Miku Hatsune

AKAITO13 - Akaito Shion

BananaLover138 - Len Kagamine

OoRaysofSunshineoO - Kikaito Shion

Darkness6 - Kageito Shion

OrangesAreLove14 - Rin Kagamine
(Her surname in here isn't Kagamine, though. You'll find out what it is soon~)

Review~