Chapter 5:

Risks

Nicholas left the house yesterday for Victoria's talk with him wasn't helpful. She came up to my room again, to comfort me and tell me that he most likely will come back. She said he knows too little of the world to even survive as a vampire. I knew myself that he is wise enough that he could make it out there. But I had a feeling he would come back. The smile he would give me, it was too warm to be easily erased by a secret, he's better than that. At least, I like to think that. The poor boy… he deserves better than me. I knew that.

An entire week passed by, and Alexander was worried about Victoria who was panicking that he might not come back. I even had to assure her, even though it was probably not going to happen, that he would return to us. Alexander promised that we would conduct a search, but I would have to lead it because I must apologize. I didn't have it in me, however, so I was the one to hold the search back for an awful while.

I had hardly any connections to the outer world here in America. There were few vampire covens that would stop by now and then that we would meet on the various hunts. They would stay for days at a time, seeming enthralled to meet other civilized people of their own kind, even though they might not necessarily be themselves. Though I must note, nomads are probably the most interesting vampires you could ever meet. They could be centuries old, roaming this world by foot, and never stopping until they see fit, but only temporarily. They have so much to see, so much to tell you. Most of the time, I would speak with them and ask them to tell me stories and such and they would gleefully tell me of the days before my time. It was a wonder to know one of the vampires I've met were Native American and have been on this land far longer than the colonists.

Of course, with the splendor in this new land, there was nobody to share it with… again. Nicholas hadn't shown up after another entire year passed. Victoria seemed to slowly give up, and Alexander would lead her away from such thoughts. I refused to go out searching, still trusting my own theory.

The people of the town were insanely into the entire religious fiasco. Catholicism was probably the most dominant thing in the New England states off the east coast. And of course… this was a bad thing. It's not like I'm running away from a crucifix, but it would have to be the people that become suspicious.

It was actually something like the Salem witch trials, to be precise. After hearing of them years before, my coven's appearance worried me more than ever. With the fact that Christianity was hard on the run, we hid even more than we already were. Three beautiful people who only come out at night seemed to catch the small town's attention for some odd reason. This was bad.

Things only became worse the following year, with a wandering eye, "friends" of ours would stir up some sort of epiphany that I hardly ever grow, and Victoria and Alexander never change. Once they invited us over for dinner, our refusal seemed to fluster them. I wasn't about to scoff down food only to puke it out later again. Not when times like these, it shouldn't matter. The family was young, no doubt, and very high up on the social status with their riches. But not as much as we are, which doesn't say very much.

There was a time, eventually, that this family eventually noticed our actual difference. They most likely didn't seem to think of us as vampires to begin with, for it wouldn't be my first guess anyway. But most likely something the devil created. Alexander gave Victoria the warning that we must move away before more people seem to become more suspicious than they already.

They bickered on, and as their voices rose, a strange knot in my chest did as well. I gripped the book into my chest. Selfish anger bubbled up, like acid coming up my stomach, rising further and further up. I growled in a low rumble, never before have I hated something so directly like this before.

"Kill them!" I hissed through my clenched teeth, my book dropping suddenly to the floor.

"Most certainly not," Victoria shook her head from across the room, aghast by my dreadful decision.

"It wouldn't be too hard! We can cover it up with disease, a chemical poison! Just get rid of those damned humans so we can live… I'm tired of hiding!" I cried out resisting the urge to throw something more, or run out now and shoot them down with a quiet peace.

"Terrible idea, Violet," Alexander huffed, seeming ill of my twisted ideas that I've been concocting. There was no way I was going to move after just 5 years! That wasn't fair!

"I am not moving." I said with decision, "either they keep their mouths shut or die."

"That is shallow-minded of you. There's so much more to this country than here." Alexander murmured, looking through his atlas put out on his desk and pointed to a place in the far left corner. "This is just being settled, and the population is little. We could finance a town, you see," He explained calmly, and then pointed to a place further into the country, near Spanish territory. "Here would be an interesting climate change, and it is open and flat."

"I enjoy trees, I'm sorry. They make life much easier." I shook my head, my hand coming to my chin as I looked over the map curiously, my hand outlining the newer states. "I still don't enjoy this moving…"

"You must get over moving, though. There will be times like this," Alexander sniffed, and then his eyes journeyed to another time as he looked over to Victoria, "We have once suffered through a misunderstanding at one point. Victoria and I were far too uncaring about ourselves, walking along the edge, hand-in-hand. The mortals became suspicious, and furthermore curious. They burned our house down while we were away for a night to the world, and we came home to nearly ashes. Do you understand now? If you value our safety, you will move with us."

I looked at him, my eyes wide. I never could see Alexander that care-free, and having belongings disappear, it's a bit more horrible then losing things as a mortal.

"You recovered many things, though." I noted, shrugging it off.

"It is not the same thing, love." He huffed, scolding me, disapproving. I frowned, finding myself even worse than I already was.

"Forgive me," I sighed, "I don't know what got into me."

"Yes, it is fine," Alexander replied, his hands resting upon my shoulders in a kind gesture. He clasped his arms around me and kissed my cheek like a father and I smiled. "That is why I love you, you know."

"I do not see any reason someone can love a wretch like me."

"I see many reasons," I felt him shrug and waited patiently for him to explain.

"For one, you're the most beautiful daughter a father could ever wish to have." I blinked a few times and waited further, "I love you because everything you do has purpose, the most radiant light I have ever seen, and no other father could be as proud as I am."

"Do you really see that?" I asked, as he came to my eye level, his arms still on my shoulders, and his bright, translucent, golden eyes looked right through me like a specific fire no other being is made to obtain met with mine. I was proud to call him my father and my guide, without any thought of my actual father. He could be in hell for all I care, and I would be perfectly fine with Alexander, and him having me in his arms.

"Of course I see that. Victoria sees the same thing, I know."

"I'm not sure any other being could stand me as you two would." I smiled.

"That's my girl." He smiled and kissed my cheek again. The youngest father one could ever have, since he is only twenty. But he never had an actual daughter, so I could see where this longing is coming from, as well.

"What is to happen now?" I asked as he rose to his regular height and looked at me from the corner of his eye.

"Now we must wait," he confided, nodding his head as is reassuring his current train of thought.

"Wait how long though? Wait until they make their first move against us?"

"As long as you can trust me, I will decide how long."

"Of course I trust you," I murmured confidently, "That trust will never fade despite anything throughout these many years. I can never set anything against you."

"Nothing, you say?" He asked, tilting his head to the side teasingly.

"You know that."

"Do you want for me to tell you your own secret? What you never wanted to tell pitiful Nicholas?" He asked me, walking toward his desk again, and a pale hand resting just above the map on the desk. I looked at him with large, wondering eyes.

"It wasn't you. I know that. You would have never done that."

"I prevented him from killing you, Violet." He said in a deeper tone, looking at me with firm eyes. "That is what you need to know to begin with. He was plotting out your death as you went on living with an admiration of him. I was too late to save you entirely, my love. Victoria was contrary to the entire thing, yetI watched you and your potential, and you were never set to die just then."

"Who was going to kill me?" I asked with a cold, demanding voice, patiently waiting.

"Now is not the time to know." His head seemed to sag down, obviously disappointed.

"I don't see myself dead. Buried in the ground without any sort of resignation, I can't see me without a life in any way."

"Are you happy here? With us? Being one of the damned."

"The object is to keep living," I shrugged, "There is nothing damned about it if you don't die." I paused a second, "Why can't I know my murderer?"

"Why else did Nicholas leave us?"

"He didn't want to be here." I answered without any sort of thought, "He didn't want to see his murderer, of course."

"Wrong. There's a type of guilt that overcomes us all with our own creator. Questions that are not normally able to be answered which is why most vampires do not come to know their creator. They eventually learn to ignore it."

"You think he will come back?"

"Yes, he will come back because he will come over it. You, unfortunately, are not capable of such easy recoil. I fear you might go hunt him down with all force possible at the knowledge of his name. I know that your personal memories are too harsh to look at with the very thought of your creator, for he is a sick, masochistic vampire." Alexander shook his head thoughtfully, and looked up then over to me again. "He will find you eventually, and that I cannot stop."

"I can wait."

"Good girl." He nodded, and then turned to leave the room with a final graceful stride. I followed after him, with sinister thoughts invading instantly, though I did not want to think of them. I suppose all vampires hold a grudge… it's not just me. For once I do not feel alone.

We waited, as Alexander thought it best, and of course, Victoria and I relied on him to the ends of the earth, as we were like his own shadow in this new world. I found that the family no longer spoke to us as we passed on an evening stroll through the town as usual. It did not mean much, just something that we could become more cautious with. They would plan something to rebel against all of us; we will quickly flee the next morning. Alexander's plan was going to work, and we all remained silent until we would have to put it into use.

I was something like worried, my hands constantly shaking every time I go around and fix up the house dusting and sweeping like a good daughter, alone in the house because Victoria and Alexander decided to go out and feed together.

"You'll be fine," Victoria promised, of course. She always said that and it's not all the time I actually believed her. It was late, around midnight, and things grew a little eerie. Maybe it would sound strange… coming from a vampire, that things seem eerie, for eerie would define the vampire herself, I think one would say it if it's truly off-key.

There was a knock downstairs, and I was in the library upstairs, huddling near the fireplace with Pride and Prejudice in my hands, being read for about the sixth time. I had just ran around the house with a broom, taking out carpet and replacing it, and now I had nothing to do for the activity took all but two minutes.

The knock was footsteps. Everything then dawned on me that someone was actually downstairs, someone that shouldn't be downstairs because Victoria and Alexander only left ten minutes ago, and they were going further than they usually go to. I had a theory that it may be Nicholas, but Nicholas' footsteps aren't as clumsy.

"Victoria? Alexander? Are you home?" I called out, staying in the library, the book still in my hands. There was no answer, only the sound of footsteps becoming louder and more near. You must understand… our mansion is huge. There's no way only I can guard the entire thing without being away from one place at a period of time, and only by instinct, I felt that the beings downstairs were human. Humans don't scare me. They can't kill me. But fire can.

I began walking down the grand staircase without turning on any lights, the moon glowing through the windows, providing hardly any light for the human, whoever it may be. I couldn't kill them, for that's how I've been taught, but how else will I handle it? My eyes are black as coal, as I can see from passing the mirror, my throat burns, and everything is weak. Yes, I was thirsty. It's just so convenient that there's a human in my home. Its heart fluttered like the beat of a bird's flapping wings, so quick that I could dance to it.

"Who's there?" I call out, fixing my eyes to the darkness, the slightest inch revealed of the being's body. Of course, there's no answer.

"Show yourself now or suffer," I mutter half to myself, and half to the other one. There's a movement behind the ebony chair. I could sense its fear. There was nothing in me that gave me an idea on what to do. My muscles pulled… as usual, and I wanted to know what the hell they were doing in my home.

"Get out. Now," I demanded, "if you have any idea what's good for you." Bad idea, I scolded myself, now they'll be suspicious of what I would do to harm them. Maybe scaring them away would be a good thing, they'll leave the town and never come back, but killing them would be more effective. There was no deciding any more. I wanted human blood again, it was something that screamed into my ear like nails on a chalkboard would grind, pulling me toward the sound of a heart beating precious blood through the veins.

I moved quickly, faster than they could see if they were watching, and came behind them at the chair, leaning on the wall casually, looking over the unfamiliar man that probably has came from this town that has been curious of my family. Perhaps killing him would ward them off, and we'll just leave without another word about it.

"What has brought you here, thief?" I question, cocking my head to the side, my arms crossed over my chest. There's a gasp as he turns around, dressed in dark, ragged clothing, possibly trying to be a thief, but I'm not taking chances. He looks at me strangely, like I was the devil incarnate, and slides through the small distance that there was from me to the chair. He was thinking of running… I smirked. I jumped up and landed in front of him easily, for I have never compared my skills to a human lately. I smiled ruefully, looking him over, for he wasn't about to answer.

"I-I was just…" he began stupidly; I laughed to myself, still crossing my arms.

"Y-you were just what? Trying to find out about my freak family? Were you curious as to invade our space, to commit a crime, and seek out truth? Is that what it is? Answer me!" I felt better, already. I waited a short second consisting of two heartbeats, and asked again, "Tell me if that is a lie or fact, sir."

"L-lie," He answered, shaking.

"Why, then, are you here, sir?" I asked, coming toward him so that his back was entirely on the wall, pressed against it, his chest rising and falling quickly.

"It's true! It's all true… stand back! I'm warning you!" he said, suddenly growing fake confidence, only a mask to make me feel intimidated by a man. I only shrugged it off, and put my hand out to his throat without thinking, it was rough, dirty, and disgusting. It doesn't matter. The blood is most likely not dirty. A pulse beat under my hand, pumping life that I don't have any longer.

"Please, please, don't hurt me!" he said like a little child, and it made me feel… amazing. My grip became tighter around his neck, as if taking revenge on what my father has once done to me, what the human race was against women, what the world has done to me… it was like running through a cool pond of water on a hot summer's day and you forget about any worries you had prior and focus on regenerating feeling period.

I bend back his head, revealing his jugular, the artery becoming more evident, like a blue bulge in the center. I couldn't refrain from anything, I bent my head down and bit into his neck, and from there I couldn't help but keep going. The life came into my body, licking my veins free of the ice and whatever has been stuck here forever and a day, bringing strength to me that I have never received before. A scream escaped his lips as I did this, but I quickly placed my hand over his mouth so there would be none of that. I felt his life pass into me, whatever he has done, a dim glimpse of his spouse's unfamiliar face, his children, his parents, his entire worthless life passing in the cradle of a vampire's arms.

His heart began to slow a little too quickly, I thought. I could not get enough of the immaculate life, the red gush passing through my lips. I backed away as soon as the heart was finished and wiped off my mouth, though my mouth remained open.

I was instantly ashamed… I had turned my back… on humanity… This was something that I never thought of losing quite quickly. I doubled over, my hand over my stomach, suddenly feeling sick of myself. What would Alexander think of me now? A weak vampire whose only self defense is to kill, not fight nor bother with it? Victoria's broken face is something that I am not used to enduring. Her sweet motherly figure out of proportion is like seeing the world end on its very own feet, twisting around and making everything strange. I couldn't believe it… I choked back a dry sob, almost overwhelmed by the guilt of killing another being. What a strange girl I am… I longed to kill and then weep over it later. I laughed as I sobbed which was an odd, throaty sound, as if someone was regurgitating. So very odd I am, after all. A moral vampire… that sounded rather funny saying it in my mind a few times over. I laughed again with a wry smile on my face, thinking of how stupid I look now.

Someone opened the front door with steady force, light footsteps, no heartbeat, cold aura. They were home, finally. I couldn't bring myself to my feet for something kept me to the floor with the bluish-looking corpse that was rather disgusting considering I had no idea who this man was. I hid my face in my hands, ashamed, my shoulders slumped and my feet uncomfortably underneath.

"Oh," was all I heard, a male voice… but it wasn't Alexander's. From the corner of my eye, there was a hand placed lightly on my shoulder, and then another one, rubbing my shoulders in a comforting gesture. "Oh, Violet," He said. I blinked a few times, thinking it an apparition. I twisted my body awkwardly over to see Nicholas standing over me like a dark angel, his eyes a disturbing reddish glow, like two lights, in the moonlight. His skin was lukewarm… or mine was just too cold. There was a flush to his skin which meant he fed off of a human as well. We were both rather guilty of something, but something inside of me leapt for joy just seeing him standing there, returning to our family and being here again. Despite all the hateful things he has said to me, he was trying to comfort me now.

"Nicholas…" I murmured, my voice sounding raw and twisted in different ways. "Nicholas… you've returned," my mouth curved into strange smile. "I… I thought you left me for good."

"I couldn't do that," he shook his head and knelt down to my level, his eyes meeting mine.

"Your… your eyes… they're so different. Like a newborn's." I felt like a newborn, dumbfounded and flustered.

"Yours are as well," He said, looking pointedly to the mirror. I rose from my spot on the ground and looked into the mirror, and his words were true. My eyes were as bright red as blood itself.

"It's from feeding off humans, enough blood is in your system that our eyes turn red," he explained calmly, "I thought you would know that by now."

"Then you've been contrary to everything we believed in, as well. You've been killing, haven't you?"

"There were more people outside of this house, waiting to kill. With torches, and stakes… what have you put yourselves into?" He asked with a sly smile.

"You… killed all of them? Oh, God… oh, God… we're doomed. What will people think now?" I combed through my hair nervously, grabbing his forearms, completely panicked. He, however, was calm and together.

"I will help you leave, Violet. You have to move before they get into anything else." I looked down to my feet, finally understanding, feeling like a little girl all over again. Nicholas had that type of effect on me, I suppose, always being noble.

"I suppose this is all we have left," I whispered and he grabbed my hand, and with wide eyes, I looked back up.

"It'll be okay. We have eternity, the world at our grasp. This one little town will do nothing."

"And will you be there, brother, for that eternity?" I asked, cocking my head to the side, swinging out arms.

"Of course," He said, nodding his head with assurance, "Of course I will." I smiled bleakly, one side higher than the other. He outstretched his arms out, waiting for my arms to come into his, and all the willingly I threw myself into him, burying my face into his chest. All the while I felt slightly whole, though I had no idea if Nicholas was lying or not. His eyes were red before, and I'm not sure if I'm the only one to see that. He was betraying our coven and its honor, but I could not say anything because I already have done my own share of discrimination.

Alexander and Victoria found us there, linking together in brother and sister-type way, and I knew I shouldn't push it farther than that, no matter how desperate I really truly was, and still am.

"Oh, Nicholas, you have came back!" Was the first thing Victoria shouted, not bothering to look at the corpse at my feet. Alexander came in silently behind his mate, hands in pockets, always brooding, and he had a small smile as well, more for me than for Nicholas. He outstretched his hand, waiting for Nicholas to shake it, and of course he did, still holding onto my shoulders. He kissed my cheek just like he used to.

Alexander seemed to notice the dead thing at my side. "What is this?" He asks, kicking the corpse over as if it was nothing.

"I had to, he invaded our home… there were others with torches and Nicholas took care of them… we could have been burnt down, it was only in my self-defense… I hated doing it…" I moaned, looking back down as Alexander grabbed my shoulder and looked at me with his hard eyes.

"It was a mistake, you're not usually exposed to these types of things. It's my fault, really, not training you to begin with." He said, emotionless.

"Please forgive me…" I murmured under my breath, not being able to stand his truthful and powerful gaze, and looked over to Victoria who didn't exactly care, just extremely happy to have Nicholas back.

"I forgive you, daughter, we just need to move out instantaneously is all," he said in a low, dangerous tone. "Nicholas, my son, I assume you will be staying with us." It didn't sound like a question, only a demand. I think he was technically trying to say that you killed all those people, now you must learn and pay this family back for ruining it even more. I would have said that, at least.

"That is correct," Nicholas answered anyway, probably already knowing there's no way out of this, anyway.

"We shall lock up this house and flee tonight." Alexander said with such finality that it made me shiver with something like energy or fear… I'm not sure exactly how I felt about it. I still don't know to this day. I've been trying to teach myself to move on, even now, and it never has happened. The only thing I can do now is shut my eyes and wait.