Author's note: Hello~! And welcome to another episode of Ravengal Posts Something! Today on the show, we have Poke Him On! We hope you enjoy his performance!

Here's a cart of rotten tomatoes, if you need it~! Now, on with the show!

P.S. Credit for the title goes to VGS2.

Chapter Three: Pokemonster Mash

"Like a plumber~!" Misty sung, swinging her plunger around as she walked. "Plunging for the very first time! Like a plu-u-u-u-mber~! Got your toilet... on my mind~!"

"Hey, now!" May sung, also swinging her plunger as she walked. "You're a plumber! Get your plunger! Go plunge! Hey, now! You're a rocker! Get your guitar! Go grunge!"

The two girls put their heads together. "Bowser's stinky and o-old~!" they sung together. "Only super sta-ars get theeee go-o-old~!"

"Are you two finished making stupid references?" Max asked in annoyance. Canned laughter erupted from nowhere. "Half the people reading this won't get them anyway!"

"Did you hear something, May?" Misty asked.

"Nope!" May replied cheerfully. "My ears tend to filter out pointless noise!"

Max heaved a sigh.

"Nice to see you're not scared of Max anymore, Dawn!" Ash said.

"Yeah, well, you know us Pokémon characters!" Dawn replied cheerfully. "We never hold a grudge for very long! Do we, Team Rocket?"

"Nope!" Team Rocket replied from the bushes.

"Our job is to be happy and smiley and teach kids the importance of friendship!" She grabbed Max in a hug. "Friiiiend~!"

"... I think I liked it better when you were throwing water on me..." Max replied.

"And that," Piplup said smugly, "is reason five hundred of why I'm so awesome."

"Riveting..." Clefairy replied.

"Pink is such a manly colour!" Buneary said. "Don't you think, Clefairy?"

"Please stop calling me that..."

He tried to shake her off, but was unsuccessful. She'd actually glued herself onto him. With a glue gun. It had scorched some skin off on both sides, but hey.

"But you are a Clefairy, silly!"

"You didn't listen to a word I said, did you?" Piplup asked, angry.

"And who wouldn't wanna date such a faaaabulous Pokémon? Well, I prefer yellow, myself... or do I? Eh. You're totally smokin', either way."

"Hey, listen to meeee!" Piplup cried. "When the penguin talks, you sit up and listen!"

"Can we still breed? I hope we can still breed. You're in the field group, right? Or was it ground?"

"Why does nobody listen to meeee?"

"And hey, we're both normal-type now, aren't we? It must be destiny."

Piplup started to dance around. "Pay... a.. tten... tion... to... meeee!"

A Draco Meteor suddenly fell from the sky and smashed Piplup in the face. How did it get there? No one knows.

Walking over Piplup's corpse, Clefairy and Buneary continued on their merry way.

"And that's why I wear such a short skirt, you see!" Dawn said.

"It all makes sense now..." Ash said, wide-eyed.

"I feel like I have uncovered the secrets of the universe!" Brock said with a clenched fist.

"I know, right?" Dawn replied, grinning. She stopped walking. "Hey... do you hear music?"

"What, you mean us?" Misty asked as everyone else stopped walking.

"We have been singing for the past five minutes," May added.

"No, not you guys... It's coming from over..." She turned around. "There."

Everyone turned to look and saw someone walking towards them.

"Hey, is that...?" Ash asked.

"Oh no..." Max groaned.

I'm... too sexy for my shirt... Too sexy for my shirt... So sexy, it hurts~!

"Hey, Drew!" May said.

Drew stopped in front of them, wearing his signature smirk. "Hey, May," he replied.

He flipped his fringe. Then a glass of water appeared in his hand. Without a word, he dumped it over himself and started to shake it off. Time slowed down to a crawl as every droplet of water rolled down his luscious locks and made the very air around him sparkle.

"Nice to see you too, Drew!"

"L'Oreal. Because I'm worth it."

"Oh-god-it's-the-prince-of-Hoenn-oh-god-oh-god!" Dawn screeched, bouncing up and down on her toes.

"Hmph," Max said. "Thinks he's all that, just because he's got green hair..."

"Do you have green hair?" Drew asked.

"... Shut up."

Drew smirked, then pulled a bouquet of roses from nowhere. "Here." He held them out to May.

"Oh, thanks!" she replied, taking the roses.

"Dang..." Misty said, "you must really like her."

"Nah," he replied, "they're actually for her totally hot Beautifly." He winked at May. "Tell her to call me, okay?"

"Uh, sure..." May said, "though her gender hasn't been..." Drew was already walking away. "Confirmed..." She paused. "Ah well. Free roses!" She tossed her plunger away and began to spin the roses. "Hey, now! You're a plumber...!"

"Uh, guys?" Ash asked. "When did I get a Clefairy?"

"Well," Brock replied, "technically, you should have had one anyway, since Clefairy was the original mascot of Pokémon... but I dunno."

"And where'd my Pikachu go?"

"Not us this time!" Team Rocket called out from the bushes.

"Huh... Oh well! I get a brand new mascot! That means it's time to make a brand new name for myself! Hi ho, Clefairy, awaaaay!"

"Kill me..." Clefairy muttered.

"Oh, look!" Brock said. "It's Paul!"

Ash immediately spun around. "Paul?" he asked with a grin. Paul walked straight past him. Most people would take this as a hint of some kind, but not Ash Ketchum. He trotted along behind him. "Hi, Paul! How's your training going? You got any new badges? Any new techniques you wanna show me? How about we have a battle?"

Paul stopped in his tracks and Ash bumped into him. Paul turned around dramatically. "I abuse Pokémon," he said.

Ash stared at him for a moment, then grew angry. "You monster! How could you? Pokémon are our friends! They're meant to be loved and cherished and treated like our own children! We're meant to hug them and pet them and squeeze them and name them George!" He huffed and turned away. "I hate you and I hate everything you stand for, because you aren't Care Bear-y enough! From this day forth, you and me are enemies, you hear? Enemies!"

"Whatever," Paul replied, walking away.

"Wow," Misty said, "that guy's a jerk."

"Watch this," Brock muttered. "Oh, look, it's Paul!"

Ash spun around, grinning. "Paul?" he asked. "Hi, Paul!" He trotted along behind him. "How's your training going?"

"Huh..." Misty said. "No kidding about that 'not holding a grudge' thing, Dawn."

"Paul's such a nice guy, isn't he?" Dawn said with a smile.

"Uh, sure..."

"Hey, Dee Dee!" a voice said.

"Huh?" Dawn asked, turning to look. "Kenny!"

"More random cameos that I don't even know?" Misty asked.

"Hey, I don't know them either," May said.

"Dee Dee, Dee Dee, Dee Dee Dee Dee, Dee Dee!" Kenny said.

"... That's a lot of Dees."

A fat penguin wearing a crown chased a pink blob in the background. Nobody noticed.

"This is my childhood friend, Kenny..." Dawn explained, "and he just won't let the Diamond Dandruff thing goooooooo!" She collapsed to the floor and sobbed.

"Dee Dee!" Kenny replied before walking off.

"Any more?" Misty asked.

Suddenly, Zoey appeared from nowhere and walked past Dawn, who was still sobbing on the floor. "Hey, cutie~!" she said to her.

"... Oh god, the images..." Max muttered.

"Oh no!" May yelped. "Quick! Get rid of her before the homophobes see her!"

Brock saluted. "On it!" he replied. He immediately started shoving Zoey away.

"See you at our next contest, Dawn~!" Zoey said before she was pushed off the nearest cliff.

Cliffs. Here for all your quick exits! Only $10.99 at Walmart.

"Maybe we should end the chapter soon?" May asked. "The random cameos are getting a bit much."

Suddenly a girl swung past on a vine. "Iris! Iris!" she sang. "Iris of the jungle-"

"Watch out for that tree!" Misty cried.

The girl crashed into the tree and fell off the vine, disappearing from view.

"... Well, that was weird..."

"Is she gonna be joining us, too?" May asked.

Brock folded his arms. "The author doesn't know enough about the Black and White series to feel comfortable writing for the characters in it yet." He glared at the camera. "ravengal... and that's 'ravengal' with a small 'r'... you really need to watch some more Black and White!"

"Alright, that's enough, twerps!" Jessie yelled as Team Rocket leapt out of the bushes. "You've broken the fourth wall too many times now!"

"Yeah, that's our job!" James cried.

"And no one does fourt wall-breakin' better dan Team Rocket!" Meowth added.

Jessie grabbed a Pokeball. "So, prepare to pay for your insol-" Suddenly, someone barged past her and knocked her over. "Wah!"

"Hey, guys!" Tracey said, beaming with sketch pad in hand.

"Oh, hey, Tracey!" Misty replied. "Finally, someone I know!"

"Can I join your group?"

"... Will you prove useful?" May asked.

"Well, I... draw things!"

"... Sure, why not?" May beamed.

"Oh, come on!" Max cried. "He draws things? How is that useful?"

"... Tell me what your role is again, Max?"

"... Shut up."

"Oh boy!" Tracey said. "First thing I'm gonna do is..." He looked around. "Draw that wild Starly over there! Oh, this'll be so awesome!" He sat down and starting drawing the Starly.

"When's our contest, anyway, Dawn?" May asked.

"I dunno," Dawn replied. "Whenever the author feels like writing it, I guess." She glared at the camera. "You'd better be thinking of writing it, ravengal! I don't wanna find that all this build-up is leading to nothing! I did a lot of training for this contest, you know!"

"Like a plumber~!" May sang. "Huh? Oh, yeah. Yeah, me too!"

"That Paul!" Ash fumed, storming back over to the group. "He's such a jerk! I hate him and want him to go die in a fire!" He stopped walking. "Ohai, Tracey!"

"Hush!" Tracey replied. "I'm in the zone..."

Brock was busy glaring at Tracey's back. "Stupid Tracey and his stupid spotlight-stealing..." he muttered. "I leave for a little while and immediately get replaced... I know just how the girls feel... and all because I chose to stay with Professor I..." His face paled. "Iv... Noooo, not again!" He curled into a ball. "I'm too young for this, Professor! Please!"

"Dark..." May muttered, edging away from Brock.

"You know..." Misty said, "with all these love interests showing up..."

"Love interests?" Dawn asked, finally up from the floor.

"What, you mean Drew?" May asked.

"All of them, I guess," Misty replied, "since every character gets shipped with every character at some point."

"Eh, true."

"It makes me think about the total lack of romance on this show."

"Yeah," Dawn agreed, "it is pretty bone-dry."

"But it's an anime about friendship!" May said with a smile. "Who needs romance when you have friendship? And little creatures beating the snot out of each other!"

"But," Misty replied, "most of the fics made about us focus on romance, solely because there's none in the anime!" She clenched a fist. "I have a passion deep within me that burns with the ferocity of a thousand suns! Heck, I even had a song about it! Dub only! Kasumi-chan didn't get that kind of privilege." She scooted over to Ash. "Ash, it's time we stopped fooling around. You and I both know who that song is referring to, so let's end this romantic tension, already."

"Huh?" Ash asked. "You say something, Misty?" There was a long, drawn-out pause. Then Misty punched him in the face and stormed off. "Ow! What'd I say?"

"Wow, amazing!" Tracey said, immediately ripping away a page and drawing something. "I've never seen Ash with a black eye before! This'll make a great sketch to show Professor Oak!" He paused. "Ahhh, Professor Oak... Wonderous, glorious Professor Oak... He's so awesome..." He paused again, then continued drawing. "He's gonna love this!"

Max folded his arms. "... I really shouldn't have given up on that whole taking-over-the-world thing..." he said.

"What did I do, Mistyyyy?" Ash cried. "And stop drawing me, Tracey! I'm not a Pokémon!"

Tracey looked up from his sketch. "Oh, didn't I tell you?" he asked. "I upgraded myself from Pokémon watcher to everything watcher! So I could expand my horizons and impress Professor Oak even more! Now, hold still." He continued drawing.

"Tracey!"

"Well..." the narrator said, "I guess it's about time to end things off... Things are getting a little out-of-hand around here. Again. Ahem, anyway! With our heroes still on their way to the next town-"

"Hey!" Clefairy cried. "What about me?"

"... What about you?"

"I'm still a Clefairy!"

"... Your point?"

"Yeah, your point?" Buneary asked, still glued to his arm.

"Make me a Pikachu again!" Clefairy yelled.

The narrator sighed. "You're a picky little thing, aren't you?" he replied. "Alright, fine." He turned Clefairy back into a Pikachu. "There. Now, don't bother me again."

"Woooo! Alright!"

Buneary shrugged. "Eh," she said. "Still hot, either way."

"Now, as I was saying..." the narrator said, "with our heroes still on their way to the next town... and, trust me, it'll take them a while... it always does... what else can you lovely viewers at home look forward to?" He paused. "Seriously, throw ideas at me. I got nothing over here."

"Hey..." Misty suddenly said, "where's Azumarill?"

"You've only just noticed?"

"Yeah."

"... Over by that tree, dressed in black and crying about a lost love. Anyway..."

"Thanks!"

"You're welcome. Anyway..."

"Ai yai yai, I'm your little butterfly~!" Pikachu sang. "Green, black and blue make the colours in the sky~! Pika Pika... Pika Pika..."

"... Anyway..."

"Guys, are you ready to listen to me now?" Piplup cried as he ran towards the group. He was instantly struck down by two more Draco Meteors.

"... Anyway..."

"You toss me right round, baby, right round~!" Ash sang to Misty. "Like a Koopa, baby, right round, round, round~!"

Misty responded by doing just that. Picking him up, squashing him into a shell shape and tossing him, that is. He crashed into the trees and disappeared.

"... Stay tuned... though, honestly, if I were you, I'd run. Far away. I can't leave, because I'm bodiless, but you can. Save yourselves!"

To Be Continued...