8. Slap in the Face. (BPOV)

...

I was completely and utterly embarrassed and outraged. James had unquestionably over reacted when he attacked Edward causing me to be hurled to the ground. My hands still burned with the reminder, my heart was pounding out of my chest. I was so mad with James but I was almost equally as angry with Edward. What was he thinking, putting himself between James and me? It seemed like a rather dense move to me. Did he not stop to think how that would appear to James--how it would infuriate him, how it would make us both look? If he acted to protect me, he was sweet but stupid. It was unnecessary; James had never, until today, so much as raised his voice at me, let alone physically take out his anger out on me. The thought was repulsive, he would never hurt me.

I sighed at the unnecessary dislike that had developed between James and Edward already. I really liked Edward, it would have been great if James and He could have become friends. God knows it would do James some good to have a friend like Edward instead of one as disgusting as Laurent. I couldn't believe that James had a friend who believed in causing harm to those I loved and thought that drinking was the answer to all of life's ups and downs. Lately him and James and been spending more time drunk or nursing a hangover than sober and it was starting to take its toll. James had begun to frequently skip class and it was affecting his game and his personality. Coach Clapp was less than impressed with James' lack of enthusiasm and dropping fitness levels and was constantly on his case.

James brought my attention back to the here and now when he smacked the steering wheel with the palm of his hand. He was glaring at me. "Bet you loved that didn't you Bella?" he scathed. I looked at him in disbelief before my anger at his accusation reached my lips.

"You have got to be joking," I hissed. "You know you were out of line before. I did absolutely nothing wrong." I shook my head still in utter disbelief.

"Nothing wrong?!" he yelled, his voice filling the cabin of the car. "You have been constantly in Cullen's grasp today. Do you want to tell me what the hell is going on between you two?" Once again I thanked my stars that James had not seen Edward comforting me earlier in the sick bay.

"Nothing is going on James," I said evenly. "You are blowing everything widely out of proportion. He was worried about me that's all."

"Bullshit. What kind of stunt was that anyway, fainting in class?" He stared at me his expression patronising. The way he spoke to me hurt, he'd never taken this tone with me before. I had seen him this upset over a bad game... but this was me, not a teammate. Furthermore, I couldn't believe he had the audacity to suggest that I had fainted on purpose.

"If you must know, Jess was at school, she flipped out. It was a little overwhelming and I think that's why I collapsed. I for one am truly grateful that someone cared enough about me to help when I needed him to. You haven't even asked me if I'm okay, or how I'm feeling," I spat at him, hitting below the belt. James' face changed instantly to one of outrage as he closed the distance between us with his arm, slapping me squarely across the cheek.

Tears sprung to my eyes as I clutched at the spot where his hand had connected with my face. I couldn't begin to process what had just happened. Had James actually hit me? Or did I just entirely imagine it. But the pain was too great for it to have been a product of an overzealous imagination. I held my breath as I tried to stop the tears and the sob that was verge of breaking through my lips. I didn't look at James; I stared directly at the window trying to focus on the spits of rain that covered the glass while I blinked back the tears that threatened to spill. My face was hot, burning with both anger and shame. I was about to demand that he pull over and let me out when he spoke.

"Bella," he whispered. "I'm so sorry, I didn't mean it. Please forgive me." He reached over with his hand but retracted it when I flinched. He pulled over without me asking and shifted in his seat to face me. I continued to avoid his gaze as I reached for the seat buckle. This time he didn't hesitate as he grabbed my hands preventing me from unbuckling myself. "Please don't do this Bella. Please," he begged. I couldn't contain my hurt and anger as I unleashed on him.

"How dare you?!" I screeched. "How could you do that to me? You hit me!" He dropped his head in shame and released his hold on me. I hurried to unbuckle myself and reached for the car door but as I went to step from the car I noticed that his eyes had filled with tears.

He looked up at me his expression one of pain and regret. "Bella..." he begun but I didn't want to hear his excuses.

"What you just did is unforgivable James. You of all people should understand that." He winced at the truth in my statement. The reason why James did not live at home was because his mother had walked out on his father less than a year ago. His mother had suffered from extreme physical abuse for years at the hands of his father and at times he had unleashed on James. Finally she plucked up the courage to leave but James had refused to go, instead he got a place on his own. James hated the monster his father had become. He had no patience for anyone that took out their frustrations on a female. It was for this reason that I could not understand what had just happened.

James was shaking and had his head in his hands. "Please," he begged. "I didn't mean it. Don't leave me...It will never happen again. I promise, Bella. Please." Tears stained his cheeks and the pain he was going through made my stomach heave.

I shook my head; I couldn't forgive what had happened. I just couldn't, I knew that no matter what, my heart could never forget. My hands were clammy and cold with sweat. I wanted to leave so badly but I was unable, even though James had caused his own pain it still hurt to see him that way. We had been together for awhile and my feelings for him couldn't be wiped away with just a slap.

"How many times did your mother hear your father utter the exact same promise, James?" I whispered. His head snapped up his eyes were wide and filled with grief.

"No Bella," he shook his head. "I'm not my father. Please, please Bella. I know it's no excuse but I have been under a lot of stress lately. I lost it when I saw you with Cullen. I'm losing everything at the moment; I can't bear to lose you too!" he cried and as he held his head in his hands I felt my resolve break. I reached over to him hesitating for a second before I let my hand rest on his shoulder.

"What do you mean by losing everything?" I asked. James looked at me and grimaced.

"It seems your friend Edward fancies himself as a bit of a baseball player and the Coach feels the same way. That means we have one more member on our team than allowed for tournament this year. Coach has made it clear who he feels is the weakest member of the team," he shook his head before continuing. "And then when I saw you and Edward walking together all chummy, I lost it. It felt like he was stealing you from me too."

It wasn't much of an excuse for what he had done but I felt for him. Even though it was his mostly his fault for his performance in school and on the team, I partly blamed Laurent. Baseball was what kept James in school; it was all he really had. Last year, colleges around the country had made it clear that he would be up for some pretty serious scholarships if he kept it up; he relied on these to get in. It had to be killing him—he had been killing himself. Constantly extra workout sessions, more practicing, then something just happened; he changed suddenly into someone I didn't recognize anymore. There were no key factors that I could think of, just kind of an overnight thing.

"I'm so sorry Bella; please... please you are all I have left, I can't lose you too," he begged grabbing my hands in his. "I love you Bella, please don't go but I'll understand if you do. I have acted unforgivably." I breathed deeply, his breath hitching as he tried to control his emotions.

I had no choice but to contemplate my options. I could leave him, just open the door and never look back. But it hurt to turn my back on our relationship. To be fair James had never caused me any doubt or harm before today. He had always been caring, fun and loving. He looked at me searching my face, watching the emotions as they crossed it. Despair filled his features. I couldn't do it, I couldn't leave him. I leaned into his arms, silently giving him my answer, forgiving the unforgivable.

.....

.....

Later on in the afternoon, after James had dropped me off I still couldn't stop thinking about what had happened. The entire day had been one major drama fest. I shook my head when I thought about how everything was broken or in the process of falling to pieces around me;.Jess and Mike were is shambles, Jessica was shattered, James' baseball prospects, his personality changes and possibly of us having a relationship.

I kept telling myself it was nothing, just a slap across the face. Nothing, it happens to someone everyday, tomorrow will be different; tomorrow I will have the normal James back. I tried desperately to stop thinking about it but it was impossible. James had undoubtedly lost control and hit me. He had never hit me, never even raised his voice toward me. But this afternoon he had been something I didn't recognize. His anger had scared me, and his face contorted in a way I had never seen, it was almost as if it were a totally different person. In truth his personality had been eroding for the past few weeks. The drinking and partying were major factors, not to mention the influence Laurent was having. But he still found the time to show he cared, that he loved me. Whenever he was away from Laurent he was my James again. The thought of the changes made me curse Laurent out loud. I wanted to kill him for the mess he had created, murder him for what he had done to Jess.

I groaned. I was so sick of thinking about what had happened. My stomach crawled with the thought of Laurent taking something so precious from Jess. I was so filled with rage that I hadn't even noticed I had over filled the laundry sink, water spilled onto the floor and as I stomped into the room to put my clothes in the machine I slipped, falling to the fall smacking my head hard against the floor. I screamed out in pain. Holding my head in my hand and wincing I slowly sat up and reached above to the sink tap cutting of the water. "DAMN IT!" I yelled as I kicked the washing machine denting it in the process.

With perfect timing Charlie rushed into the room, home from work. "Bells honey are you OK?" he asked as he looked around the room and at the water that pooled around his shoes. I groaned wanting to roll over on to my stomach and just lie there. What a day, I thought. "Found a new way to do the laundry honey?" Charlie mused as he sat down next to me putting one arm awkwardly around my shoulder. Charlie wasn't one for showing too much affection or emotions - it's not that he didn't love me or care about me, it's just that tears made him nervous.

It was times like these that I missed my mother - she had left Charlie when I was alot younger, she had had enough of the small town of Forks. It made me sad, Charlie would have done anything and everything for her, but it was never enough. I still saw her from time to time, but it hurt to see how she had made a new life without us.

I smiled up at Charlie. "I'm fine Dad, just the usual. Doing the wash is fraught with peril." He chuckled at my response. It was normal for me to cause myself injuries doing the most mundane and simple chores.

"You certainly didn't get my sense of balance," he smiled again and then shook his head. "I heard there was a bit of a scuffle at your school today?"

"How did you hear about that?" I looked at him confused, unsure of which incident he was referring to, Laurent and Mike or James and Edward.

"A Laurent form your school laid a complaint about your friend Newton, said something about and unprovoked physical attack." I snorted, what utter crap.

"Dad that's not true. Yes Mike did go after Laurent, but he deserved it and it was Laurent that beat up Mike."

"Nobody deserves to be assaulted Bella, no matter what was said or done. You should never physically take out your anguish on another being, you should never fight someone unless its in self defense." His words hit home. James had taken his anguish out on me, hitting me. I winced at the thought. Charlie was right, but I believed in second chances and that was exactly what I was going to give James.

"Dad Laurent did something unforgivable..."

"...Yes Bella, I heard, he slept with Jess. But that doesn't give Mike the right to fight Laurent; he should sort out the matter with Jess." I should have known that Laurent would have lied. "And James has offered himself as a witness; he claims that Mike unfairly took out his relationship woes on Laurent."

"He did what?!" I screamed. I could not believe this, what was James thinking. My body shook with anger. That hypocrite, how can he just choose sides like that? How could he do that to me? As if reading my thoughts Charlie spoke.

"I know Jess is your friend Bella. But she has been acting out a lot lately. Laurent is James' friend and it's understandable that he were to back him up, even if it causes you hurt. You shouldn't be mad with him. And its moot anyhow no charges are going to be laid." Of course not, I thought harshly. Laurent is just covering his bases. By filing a complaint he was able to plant his story in the minds of the officers, making it harder for Jess to tell her story and to get the police and the public to believe her.

"I better clean up this mess and start tea," I grumbled. I didn't want to talk about this anymore the anger at what both James and Laurent had done was eating at me, tiring me out.

After tea Charlie went into the lounge to watch TV while I cleaned up the kitchen. I was exhausted and decided to head up to bed early. I grabbed my phone that was on the counter and was about to send James a text berating him for what he had done when I decided it was a lost cause. I decided instead to have a shower in the hopes that it would help me calm down.

I turned on the shower and watched as the room filled with steam. It immediately relaxed me. I began to undress myself but as I pulled my shirt over my face I took in the sweetest aroma. Edward, I sighed internally. I drew in his scent, reveling in it. I thought about the kindness he had bestowed on me today and smiled. He was a really decent, sweet guy but I was already taken and the thoughts should have stopped there. But they didn't. I thought about how he had wrapped me in his arms, comforting and making me feel safe. How his smile made me forget about the days troubles. My thoughts were interrupted when Charlie knocked on the bathroom door giving me a fright.

"Leave some hot water for your old man, will ya!" He growled. I hadn't noticed how long I had been standing there thinking about Edward. I dropped my shirt to the ground immediately, feeling miserable and guilty. No wonder James was so upset at the sight of us. I hurried to finish my shower, pulling on my holey sweats and a tatty singlet.

I climbed into bed and lay my head on the pillow trying to block any thoughts that pertained to the time Edward and I had been together. I tried to think of other things instead, but it only made me feel so much worse. Images of Jess' crumpled body in Mikes arms filled my head. Tears filled my eyes as I finally drifted off to sleep.

.....

.....

Laurent pressed himself against me as he groaned in satisfaction.

I tried helplessly to push him off me but my arms remained numb at my sides, I was unable to move, frozen in a state of horror.

I opened my mouth to scream, but Laurent silenced me as he pushed his lips fiercely against mine, moaning in pleasure.

I could feel the silent tears that streamed down my face and the sobs rake my frozen body.

Laurent leaned back with a wide grin displayed across his menacing face. "You know you want it," he cooed before ripping my shirt from my body, leaving my top half exposed. His grin widened.

I felt absolutely sick and helpless as I watched him remove his own clothing and my skirt. My stomach dropped as his eyes raked over my now naked body. His breathing quickened as he crawled back on top of me.

Out of the corner of my eye I caught a glimpse of a male leaning against the wall, his arms folded across his broad chest. His face was blank and betrayed no emotion as he watched Laurent strip me of my dignity, of my soul, of my virginity.

The male held my eyes through the entire ordeal never breaking contact. I tried to call out for help, I pleaded with him silently to make it stop.

But I could only manage to whisper his name.

"James..." I cried.

Please, I thought.

James...

.....

I woke up mid-scream, drenched in my own sweat but shaking from the cold. The dream had been so real, so vivid. I could still feel the pressure of Laurent's body as he had pressed down on me. I shuddered and wrapped my arms around my knees, clinging them tightly to my chest. The image of James standing and watching, not helping me, filled my vision and had me sobbing uncontrollably. It was so real, too real. I was shaking as I pulled the covers over my head to hide from the dark room that surrounded me. It was a dream, it was only a dream, I kept telling myself, just a dream. But one that Jess had to live.... The thought brought on another round of hysteria. I continued to cry uncontrollably, so loud I was sure that Charlie would enter the room within a matter of seconds, I tried to control the sobs, holding my breath. Eventually, I finally managed to fall back to sleep, exhausted and emotionally drained.

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A/N - sorry this update took so long, I promise another before the end of the week. Thanks to everyone who review. Please R&R :)