Author's note: Huzzah! Chapter four hath cometh! Is anyone excited? Anyone?

... Well, it certainly seems like the crickets are excited! Listen to them chirp!

Anyway, your bus ride into Random Land awaits...

Chapter Four: The Mon Day Blues

"Oh, wow, the readers are still here!" Ash said with a grin.

"I dunno whether to be scared or impressed..." Misty said.

In her arms, she held the newly devolved Azurill. How did it devolve? Eh, the power of angst. It can do amazing things. Oh and it had laryngitis. Again.

"Drawing things is fun!" Tracey cried, sketching the nearest bush.

"Hey," May said, "how about we make more Stupid Mario Brothers references?"

"No!" Max cried. "For the love of God, no!"

Dawn turned slowly in his direction. "Did you just use the 'g' word in a kids' show?" she asked threateningly.

"But... but you used it in an earlier-"

"Quiet! Or Not-4Kids will totally be on me about that..."

"You know what this fic's humour reminds me of?" May asked. "Sgt. Frog. Has anyone seen that anime?"

"Not really."

"Nope."

"Nuh-uh."

"Does she mean Keroro Gunso?"

The author will let the viewer decide who said what there.

"Hurry up with that drawing, Tracey!" Ash groaned. "We don't have all day! If we hurry, we can finally get to May and Dawn's long-awaited contest by the next chapter!"

"Hey, I've yet to get my time in the spotlight, okay, Ash?" Tracey replied.

"Why? It's not like the author just forgot to put you in chapter one! She totally intended for you to join the group in chapter three!"

"Yeah!" May added, smiling. "It was a big, important plot device! Like how Azurill... I mean, Azumarill... I mean Azu- whatever... having laryngitis the first time was a big, important plot device! And not totally forgetting to give Azu... thing lines! Right, ravengal?"

A tumbleweed blew past in response.

"... Anyway..." Ash said, "stop drawing the ivy bush, so we can leave already!"

"Ivy?" Brock asked. "Ivy!" He fell to the floor and curled into a ball. "No... please... not again..."

"... Brock," May said, "you seriously need to cut that out... It's scaring the children..."

Brock suddenly leapt to his feet. "But you don't know what it was like! You just don't know!"

"... Do I want to know?"

"I... saw things... Terrible things..."

"Okay, stop. Seriously, stop."

"The things Professor Ivy showed me... they were horrible..."

"Stop it, right now."

"It took me until movie six to finally hear her name without regressing!"

"If you don't stop right this instant, I'm censoring you!"

"... Eastenders..."

"... What?"

"She made me watch a week's worth of Eastenders!" He fell back to the floor and sobbed.

"... What the heck's Eastenders?" Misty asked.

"Ohhh, I've heard of that!" Dawn replied. "Some British soap opera set in London that goes waaaay overboard on the drama... Other countries likely have similar shows."

"No more..." Brock whimpered. "No more so'in i' aht... No more cahps o' tahe..."

"Oh, you poor thing..." May said, kneeling down to pat him on the back.

"Okay, I'm done drawing!" Tracey said, standing up. "Professor Oak's gonna be so impressed with my skill at drawing bushes!"

"Yeah, that's great..." Ash replied. "Can we go now?"

Brock was too busy sobbing to walk, so they carried him on a stretcher.

"... Say..." May said, "do you think our characteristics as individual characters are obvious enough? Sometimes, I think we're written too similar."

"Yeah, I see what you mean..." Dawn replied. "Any one of us could be saying each line... and there are quite a lot of characters here now..."

"I think we each need to stand out more!"

"Well," Misty said, "I'm the resident tsundere here, so I guess I should start us off." She punched Ash on the back of the head. "Idiot! It's not like I like you, or anything!"

"Oww..." Ash replied.

"Man, I could really go for some chicken noodle soup!" May cried. "Food, food, food, oh, man, I love food!"

"Shopping!" Dawn cried. "Girly things! No need to worry!"

"Oh, brother..." Pikachu muttered. He promptly turned into a Clefairy again, because the author said so. "Hey! At least segway me into this crud!"

Buneary immediately popped out of her Pokeball and appeared by his side. "Helloooo, male nurse~!" she said.

"That joke's been done already."

"So, why are you a Clefairy again?"

"How should I know? And why should you care? Don't you prefer me as a Pikachu?"

"I thought long and hard about it... but, no matter whether you're skinny, yellow and electric, or fat, pink and normal, you remain a smokin' piece of Poke-meat."

"Great..." Pikachu paused, stopping in his tracks. "Wait... something feels... off..."

Buneary stopped beside him. "Off?"

"Yeah... like I'm... not..." He glared at the camera. "Am I not normal-type anymore?"

"Ah, yes," the narrator replied. "That. Well, see, since the last chapter, a new game came out and completely screwed over the typing that's been around since the days of Kanto..."

"Uh-huh..."

"And Clefairy was one of the Pokemon that was affected by it. So, no, you're not normal-type anymore."

"Then what, in Sam Hill, am I?"

"... Fairy-type."

"... F... Fairy-type?" One of Pika- I mean Clefairy's eyes twitched.

"Yes. Fairy-type."

"... What?"

"Aww, how cute!" Buneary squealed. She dashed over and hugged him. "You're a pink fairy princess!"

"... I hate you."

"I've always thought of you as a real man's man..."

An image of a bishie Pikachu appeared on a sparkly background. "Hey, babe~" he said.

"But, now, I see you have a feminine side, too!"

The bishie Pikachu was replaced by a moe Pikachu. "Buneary-chan..." he said.

"Somebody kill me..." Clefairy said.

"Oh, sweet!" Ash called out. "The Clefairy from before came back!"

"... For the love of Arceus, please... just kill me..."

"Hurry up, Clefairy, or we're leaving you behind!"

"You too, Buneary!" Dawn called out. "Shopping! Girly things! No need to worry!"

"By the way, can we still breed?" Buneary asked.

"No," Clefairy replied. "We can't."

"Aww, really?"

"Yes. Really. I checked on Bulbapedia. We couldn't breed when Clefairy was normal-type and we can't breed now, either."

"Bummer... Oh well, adoption's an option~!"

"I hath returned!" a voice cried dramatically.

"Wha-?" Clefairy asked before he was glomped by Bellossom. Buneary stumbled backwards from the impact.

"You?" Buneary yelled. "I thought we'd left you lying in a puddle of your own tears!"

"Yes... you did..." Bellossom replied, "but, now, I am back! And more confident than ever!" She looked at the Pokemon she was hugging. "... Wait, you're not Pikachu... Still pretty hot, though."

"I know, right?" Buneary added happily.

"I am Pikachu..." Clefairy grumbled. "It's just that the stupid author wanted to find some ridiculous way of getting across that Clefairy are fairy-type now..."

"Daww, how cute~!"

"Totally!" Buneary agreed.

"Anyway, that's not why I'm here! In fact, you'll find out why I'm here in three... two... one..."

"Aha!" a voice cried out. "There you are!" Togetic landed next to them. "Thought you'd sneak a hug from Pikachu while I was gone, did you? Not on my watch!" She paused. "Wait, that's not Pikachu..."

"Oh, for the love of..." Clefairy said. "Please change me back already!"

Instantly, he was a Pikachu again.

"... Oh, hey, Pikachu."

"... You know," Buneary said, "I think I did prefer the fairy princess look..."

"Shut up..." Pikachu replied.

"Anyway!" Bellossom said. "I came back to tell you that I may well have been the author's first shipping with Pikachu!"

"... Say what?" Togetic asked.

"Yes! She thought long and hard about when it was that she'd made the story about me and him... and when she'd read that fanfiction about you and him that she can no longer find... and it's quite possible that my story came first!"

"Say what?"

"No way!" Buneary cried.

A pair of sunglasses fell on Bellossom's face. "Yes way," she replied.

Pikachu heaved a sigh. "Bellossom..." he said.

"Yes, my sweet?"

"First off, let go of me."

"Aww, okay..." She let go.

"Second, do you even remember what happened in that story that never made it to paper?"

"Why, of course I do!" She cleared her throat. "It was a dark and stormy night... Wait, no, it wasn't a horror story..."

"Could've fooled me," Togetic said. Buneary smirked and high-fived- or rather, high-oned her.

"It was a bright and sunny day... We approached each other across a beautiful field..."

Pikachu heaved another sigh. "Roll the tape!" he yelled.

"Pikachu, use Thunderbolt!" Ash cried.

"Pika," Pikachu replied. "Piiiikaaaa..."

"Bellossom~!" Bellossom cried, using Attract.

A single heart floated towards Pikachu, landing smack on his face. "Pika~!" Pikachu replied, instantly in love.

"Pikachu, no!" Ash cried. "What are you doing? Attack her!"

"Pikachu~!"

"Bellossom~!" Bellossom said.

The two held each other's paws and danced around happily in the field together.

"Come on, Pikachu!" Ash cried. "Snap out of it!"

Suddenly, the Attract wore off. "Pika?" Pikachu asked. He looked at Bellossom for a long moment, letting go of her paws.

"Bell?" Bellossom asked.

Pikachu frowned. "Pika!" He smacked her.

She did a backwards flip and landed on her back. "Bell..."

Pikachu ran back over to Ash.

"Slightly paraphrased..." Pikachu said.

"... Wow," Togetic said, "those were some cruddy writing skills..."

"It was a long time ago..."

Buneary giggled. "Now I see why it was never put to paper!" she said.

"But..." Bellossom said, "but... we had something special..."

"You used Attract on me..." Pikachu replied.

"We were so happy..."

"I was being manipulated..."

"My shipping came before everyone else's!"

"It was a joke shipping!"

"Yeah," Togetic said, "do you really think the story would end like that, if she seriously shipped it?"

"But..." Bellossom replied, "but..."

"Now, I know my shipping was based off a fic where Ash and Misty have a son, who goes on an adventure with Pikachu's son, who may or may not also be my son... but at least she was fairly serious about it..."

"Yeah," Buneary said, "and she put Pikachu/Azumarill in one fic, before becoming a raging lagomorphshipper... You kinda got the short end of the stick there."

"But..." Bellossom replied, "but..."

She screamed and burst into flames.

"... Well, that was something..." Pikachu said, staring at the pile of ash.

"Alright!" Buneary said, turning to Togetic. "Now it's time to get rid of you, too!"

"Aw, heck, naw!" Togetic replied. "I ain't being like the world and turning to ash!"

"... Was... that a movie two reference?" Pikachu asked.

"So retro!" Buneary said with a smile.

"No, my place is with the Togepi..." Togetic said. "I shall nurture them... and protect them... and pretend that you're their father... Farewell, my love! May our shipping reside in the hearts of others!"

She tossed down a Smoke Ball and disappeared.

"... Sweet!" Buneary cried, glomping Pikachu. "I have you all to myself again! Hopefully for good this time!"

"Joy..."

"Clefairy!" Ash called out, running over. "Come on! I told you we were gonna leave without you!" He paused, then started looking around. "Clefairy? Clefairyyyy! Hey, Clefairy, where'd you go?"

"Pi... Pikapi?"

"Hmm? Oh, hey, Pikachu!"

Pikachu smiled. "Pika!"

"Have you seen Clefairy? We really need to get going."

Pikachu's ears drooped in annoyance. "Pi..."

"Clefaaaairyyyy!"

Pikachu pulled a cell phone from hammerspace, then talked into it. "Yeah, hi. I'd like to order the deluxe package, please... Yeah, extra tall... Alright, thanks. Put it on my tab." He put the phone away, then gasped and pointed into the trees. "Ash! Look! A rare Pokemon!"

"Did you just talk- Oh boy, a rare Pokemon?" He dashed into the trees to find it.

"Three... two... one..."

Ash's scream was a scream that pierced the heavens. Much like a drill. Yay, memes.

"What the heck was that?" Buneary asked.

"Cliffs. Only $10.99 at Walmart. Half price if you buy online, or over the phone."

"Ash!" Misty called out. "Did you fall off a cliff again?" She paused. "N-Not that I care about your safety, or anything! Idiot!"

"I want chicken noodle soup!" May called out. "Can we get some chicken noodle soup?" She paused. "Why are you crying, Blaziken?"

"Shopping!" Dawn called out. "Girly things! No need to worry, Ash!"

"Argh!" Max cried. "The one-dimensionalness! It's rotting my brain!"

The narrator sighed. "Well, I warned you to save yourselves last chapter..." he said, "but you didn't listen, did you? That must mean you're enjoying this... whatever it is. I'm not sure whether to praise you for having the same humour as the author... or pity you for having the same humour as the author. Either way..." He cleared his throat, then put on a deeper, more epic voice. "Next time, on Pokeball Z... will our heroes finally make it to the contest that's been mentioned since chapter one? Will the fourth wall ever stop being broken by people other than Team Rocket? And will Tracey ever stop drawing every random thing he comes across?" He paused dramatically. "Tune in next time on... Can I get an ominous echo at the end? Okay, thanks... Tune in next time on Pokeball Z..."

To Be Continued...