Thanks so much guys for all your reviews, adding me to your alerts and fav's - you guys seriously rock. =)

Oh and sorry this is late... super busy at the mo.

More thanks goes out to my beta Angel and my girls VPJ and TCL they are too awesome and they know it! ;)- well they better know it, if not I'm reminding them now!

19. Payback 1.

….

BPOV

"So what was that all about?" Jake asked when were clear of the school gates.

"Nothing," I mumbled, staring out the car window. It was starting to rain again. I sighed it was always one stage of wet or another in Forks; it was so dreary and seriously depressing at the best of times. No wonder everyone is so messed up in this little town.

"Didn't look like nothing," Jake continued. I shook my head; I couldn't be bothered going over what had just happened between Edward and I. I wasn't even sure what the hell just happened myself. I mean, one moment we were arguing over my credibility and the next moment I was pretty much begging for him to kiss me, and then I went loco and pushed him away at the last moment. Dude, I am so insane.

I even told him I had a boyfriend, which I didn't, or did I? I mean there is no way James could seriously think we were still together after what he had done and our confrontation in the hall. Even if he did I didn't need to go around saying we did, we were as good as over in my eyes. That was bound to confuse him and myself in the process. I needed to stop and gage where we were, and what I wanted before I continued calling him my boyfriend, or considering myself single.

"Bella?" Jake coaxed. "Who the hell was that guy?"

"Edward," I whispered. I liked the way his name sounded and how my lips tingled when I spoke it. My mind wandered back to the moment when our lips brushed one another's and I felt my face warm. I had wanted him so badly in that instant, but it wasn't fair to lead him on. I was broken and worthless I wasn't worth the time of day. I couldn't be whole enough for him, I had too much baggage. I also couldn't deal with how James would no doubt react if he found out; I didn't want Edward caught up in this mess. I couldn't let any harm come to him because of me.

"And….who is this Edward?" Jake turned to look at me raising an eyebrow. "Despite the fact that you were crying, you too looked rather comfortable don't you think?"

"He was just being nice." Jake rolled his eyes at my statement and I thought I heard him mumbled 'of course he was' under his breath.

"So what does James think about Edward?" I cringed at Jakes question; there was no doubt how James felt about Edward. They were definitely not the best of friends. Jake took one look at my expression and chuckled, "thought so." I didn't respond there was no use in trying to deny it.

"But then again if you were mine I wouldn't be happy with what I saw going on there either," he added, cocking his eyebrow, daring me to argue. The emphasis on the word 'mine' wasn't lost on me but I brushed it off, Jake could be extremely possessive, but that was just Jake.

"It's not what you think," I defended my face growing hot; it was exactly what he thought.

"Really?"

"No." I sighed, "Why does it matter to you anyway?" I questioned. Why was Jake always trying to interfere with things that had nothing to do with him?

"I'm just looking out for you Bella," he groaned rubbing his face with his large hands; he was obviously as tired of having this conversation as I was.

"I know… it's just that sometimes I don't need your input." I don't know why I was doing this with Jake again, last time he had been right with his opinion. But now I knew he was just being possessive, there was nothing dangerous or bad about Edward, he was a genuine guy, someone I already knew I could trust.

"I just don't like this Edward guy."

"Why," I threw my arms up in the air exasperated, I was annoyed what could Jake possibly already have against him in the few words they exchanged. This was so typical of Jake, always so quick to judge the guys in my life – only problem was he had been right about James and I should have been easier on him.

"Well for one, he couldn't take a hint when you pushed him off and two he tried to kiss you…." I gasped; I hadn't known that Jake had been there that long. "Yea I saw that too. What were either of you thinking Bella? God, I would give anything for you to get rid of that loser James, but I was under the impression you were still with him, so I can't for the love of me understand why you were about to let Edward kiss you." His face was turned up in disgust.

"I didn't let him do anything," I defended again; there was an edge of anger in my voice. Why did I always have to prove myself today? – Uh because you're not being truthful to anyone let alone yourself.

"Oh really?" Jake contradicted; he gave me a small smirk. He pulled up in front of my house and turned off the car.

"Drop it Jake," I scowled. I thought we had gotten past all this arguing but obviously not. I hopped out of the Rabbit, grabbed my backpack off the back seat and trudged my way up to the front door swinging it over my shoulder. I didn't even wait for Jake; I was too annoyed. I was sick and tired of the same old arguments. Jake managed to catch up to me and grabbed me by the shoulders turning me around to face him. He closed his eyes and shook his head.

"I can't do that Bella," he moaned. His touch was suddenly uncomfortably warm my shoulders.

"And why not?" I growled allowing my disdain show.

"Because I don't understand," he sighed.

"Understand what Jake?" He looked at me warily, unsure of whether he should continue. His dark eyes bore into mine.

"Why you always choose these losers instead of someone who would do good by you." I glared at Jake, my anger incredulous. I wasn't even going to defend James and Edward, yes James was a loser and Edward wasn't but it obliviously didn't matter what I thought. Jake clearly didn't think I was capable to make sound judgments by myself – but then again maybe he was right. But it didn't matter, I wasn't going to stand here and let him insult me.

"Like whom? Since you seem to know everything Jacob, why don't you tell me exactly who you have in mind?" I spat. His expression was apprehensive as he stared at me, unable to answer for a bit while he contemplated his next words. I felt a smug smile pull at my face, I had stumped him and he knew it. "See Jake, maybe you should just butt out because clearly it wouldn't matter who I was with, you would always…" Jake interrupted my rant by turning his back on me sighing in exasperation. His blatant disregard for point of view enraged me; I couldn't believe he would be that rude. I was a loss for words as my anger overtook my ability to think straight. And then Jake spoke, so quietly I struggled to hear, and then wished I hadn't heard at all.

"Like me Bella," his voice caught in his throat and I watched as his shoulders squared as he was suddenly filled with confidence. "I meant someone like me." He turned around to face me his expression severe and guarded.

"Wh-what did you just say?" I choked out. Did he really just say what I thought he did?

"I care about you Bella more than you could ever understand. Bella I love…"

"Whoa Jake stop," I started, holding up my hands in an effort to protect myself from the unbearable words he was about to utter. He complied staring at me with evident uneasiness. "I thought we had been through this Jake?" I continued not giving him a chance to spit out the words I didn't want to hear. "We both said there was never a connection like that between us."

"No that's what you said Bells," he spoke quietly, hurt scarred his face. "I never said anything of the sort."

"Yes you did, at Jess's you said it was like kissing your sister…" I pointed out contradicting him.

"I…I didn't want to ruin our friendship, so I just said what you wanted to hear. Ever since I got over girls having cooties and I realized that you were a girl…." He smiled awkwardly at me. "Well my feelings have always been this way."

"But at Jess's …when we…"

"Yeah, I liked you then Bell's, I just couldn't tell you. I couldn't take the rejection. Kissing you was amazing, but I felt guilty because I knew it meant more to me than it did to you. I thought I could get over it….but I couldn't. I was hoping that maybe you would change that one day you would feel it too. But then you started dating that tool James, and it almost destroyed me." He took a deep breath before continuing. "I just hoped that it was nothing and it would pass, but it didn't and you two got closer, you started spending more time with him and less with me and it maddened me Bella, I couldn't take it. I even got mad at you," he looked at me apologetically. "But it wasn't your fault. I should have come out and said something; I should have told you how I felt…"

"It wouldn't have mattered Jake," I interrupted shaking my head in disbelief at his words, so this is why he was always fighting with me over James. James was right it was because Jake had feelings for me. Why was everyone always right about these things, why did I always have to be so horribly wrong?

"It wouldn't have changed how I felt. You will always be my brother," I continued. At my words Jake's face crumpled with undeniable hurt, pain and anguish. My heart ached at his pain lashing at my insides; I almost reached out to comfort him but thought better of it. I loved Jake undeniably, he was family and his pain caused me pain, I couldn't bear to see him this way.

"Bella…I….you can't mean that…." His breathing hitched as he choked on his words.

"You know that I do Jake, why would you believe my feelings have changed?" He shook his head obviously evaluating his own idiotic assumption, but then his face filled with hope.

"I know you care about me Bella. Why else do you feel so at ease around me, why else does your face fill with hope and light up with happiness when I walk through the door, like I'm some damn Christmas present or something? I make you smile, laugh and feel safe and you know it. You can be yourself around me, it hurts you when we fight and when we are apart. You just don't realize yet what these feelings mean Bella." He took a step closer, his smile was broad and his expression was so sure. "But I can make you see it, I know I can." I continued to shake my head at him, there was no way, he had to be insane to think that my feelings for him would ever grow beyond the brotherly sisterly love I thought he felt, we had known each other since forever - I could never see him in a romantic way.

"Why are you telling me this? It's not going to…"

"Because seeing you hurt like the other day made me realize that I was stupid not to tell you now. I had to protect you Bella, seeing you broken, broke my heart, I needed to show you how much you mean to me. And then I saw you with Edward and I couldn't believe the jealousy that overcame me, I was scared that maybe you had realized that James was wrong for you and that you needed to move on, but instead of becoming mine like I wanted you to, you had chosen someone else."

"So that's why you went all cave man on me?" I had been seriously angry for the way he behaved towards Edward, I hated it when guys went all egotistical and felt they had to prove themselves through violence.

"Yeah, I'm sorry about that I didn't mean to upset you…" I shrugged I was over it, what he was telling me was a lot more to think about, I was still in shock and unable to digest it all.

"Jake I…" I started but couldn't finish my sentence. Everything that Jake had said made sense, yes he was all of those things, he did make me smile, feel safe and comfortable. Everyone else seemed to think that there was something between us, was I the only one who didn't see it?

No, it couldn't be that, I would know if I felt that way toward Jake, and I don't. He is my best friend, the brother I never had. I had known him all my life. He was simply my Jake, my friend. Sensing my wavering resolve Jake closed the distance between us and took me in his wide warm arms, it did feel good to be there but not in the way it felt good to be in Edwards's arms, it was different. With Jake there was no electricity, his touch didn't cause my heart beat to falter or increase and it didn't make me blush. No with Jake it was simply a hug of comfort not romance. But Jake didn't seem to think so.

"Bella," he spoke softly, lowering his face towards mine. His breath was warm on my cheek; I felt my stomach twist and I suddenly felt ill – this was all wrong completely and utterly wrong, he was too close. "I love you Bella," he blurted out before crushing his lips to mine.

I was immediately overwhelmed by his action and my body completely clammed up. Jake sensed this and began to move his lips against mine in an effort to get me to respond; his hands moved up my back slowly caressing me softly before he tangled them in my hair. He groaned softly into my mouth and murmured, "Come on Bella. You can do better than this." His lips parted and his tongue darted out over my lips asking for access to my mouth. I pursed my lips together tightly refusing his request.

I don't know why I didn't push him from me or why I didn't verbally object, I couldn't I was completely frozen in shock. I just couldn't believe what was happening. I didn't want this, I didn't want Jake this way, I needed him as my friend, and him doing this made me realize I could never have him like that again, not without knowing how he truly felt.

In a way I felt like he had betrayed me, he had known all along that this was how he felt and that made me feel vulnerable, like he had taken advantage of me. All those times we hugged, he would kiss me on the forehead or the cheek, they weren't signs of friendship; to him it met something more. And then the other night when he stayed, we had shared a bed, yes nothing had happened, but now I knew how he felt- it made me feel sick. I thought he was my friend, he took advantage of that, he broke my trust. This hurt like hell, I thought I could rely on him; instead he just let me down, just as James had. The pain was unbearable.

Finally Jake gave up taking a step back from me; his expression was filled with mixed emotions.

"Are you done?" I asked calmly. He nodded hesitantly and with that I flung out my arm and slapped him square across the face. He stared at me in disbelief before he spoke. He didn't even reach up to his face in pain, which infuriated me; I wanted to hurt him just as he had me.

"I guess I deserved that," he muttered sheepishly, obviously still proud of the fact that he had kissed me. This fuelled my anger.

'You deserve a lot more than that Jacob Black!" I screamed. "You betrayed my trust Jake. You took advantage of our friendship. I can't ever trust you again….I hope you're happy." Jake's mood turned to one of anger.

"So what… Eddie boy can pull a move on you and its all fine but when I do I break your trust?" he spat.

"I wanted Edward to kiss me Jake! You are meant to be my friend, my family. I expected more of you, I trusted you but you broke that trust!" I was breathing heavily now, my chest heaving, "You just threw our friendship out the window Jake; I could never trust you again after this." And with those words I left a shocked Jake on the porch step and stormed into the house. I locked the door, in case Jake had the nerve to come inside and ran upstairs to my room slamming the door behind me.

This was what the second or third time in a week I had ran up to my room upset after a guy had dropped me off home. This time my best friend who I needed now more than ever was the cause of this. And now his friendship was lost to me, not that it had ever been friendship to him. Tears spilled over at my anger and I found myself wishing I had hit Jake harder… how could he?

The only male I had left in my life that I could trust was my father Charlie, how pathetic is that? Because of all the males in my life that had hurt and betrayed me I no longer could trust another one again. And because of Edward I couldn't even trust me to be around one without doing something stupid.

At least when Charlie arrived home ten minutes later, I wasn't a total wreck; instead I collected myself and went downstairs to see him. To my horror Jake was with him. "What the hell Jake?" I glared at him. I can't believe he had the balls to still be here. Jake looked at me sympathetically which was really annoying, I didn't want his sympathy I wasn't the one who was just rejected.

"Charlie invited Dad and I to tea," he mumbled, fidgeting uncomfortably at the kitchen table.

"Well you're uninvited," I spat, still glaring at him.

"Bella!?" Charlie exclaimed shock and horror was written across his face, he wasn't used to me being so rude. "What's come over you?"

"Why don't you ask him?" I said through gritted teeth, pointing squarely at Jacob's chest. Jacob looked at me in horror and his face turned beetroot red.

"Jake?" Charlie turned to face him, confusion written all over his face. If it were possible Jake turned a darker shade of red.

"I…uh…well…" he stuttered looking at the kitchen floor.

"Spit it out boy," Charlie urged - something my father and I shared was our impatience, we didn't like to pussy foot around.

"He kissed me," I blurted out, tired of waiting for Jake to come clean; I just wanted him out of the house as soon as possible. Charlie looked at me in surprise and then to my astonishment he smiled smugly.

"Well," he chuckled. "That sure is something." He doubled over as his laughter became uncontrollable; Jake looked up at me in just as much shock as I was in.

"What?" I choked.

"I can't say it's a surprise Bella," Charlie said as he straightened up and fought to get his laughter under control. "But I wish you two would have waited another year, now I've gone and lost me fifty bucks." He shook his head. "Billy is going to be as proud as punch and a fifty richer," Charlie laughed again, punching Jake softly in the arm.

"F-fifty bucks?" Jake looked seriously confused.

"We had a bet how long it would take you two to get together, looks like Billy won that one," Charlie gaffed again, tears welling in his eyes. He sighed heavily and dabbed them with his handkerchief.

"You did what?" I glared at him incredulously.

"Oh come on Bells," Charlie groaned. "You would have to be blind to not see where you two were going."

"We are going nowhere," I seethed, my face becoming hot. "Did you not here me when I said he kissed me, I didn't kiss him back Charlie."

"Don't be silly Bella," Charlie shook his head. "Jeez you can be stubborn."

"NO!" I glared at him incredulously. "I don't have feelings for Jake, I'm sorry to disappoint you, but it looks like neither of you are going to win the bet."

"Bella…" Jake started before I cut him off with one of my infamous death stares.

"You already know how I feel Jake." Charlie shook his head and sighed, turning to Jake.

"She is just like her mother; have to give her a bit to calm down that's all." He nudged Jake in the shoulder as if he was sharing some man to man moment. Jake continued to look uncomfortable with the situation.

"Arghh," I cried throwing my hands up in the air. "I'm going for a walk."

"No you're not," they both said in unison. Oh yea I forgot… Can't be walking around when there is a supposed attacker on the loose.

"I'll take the truck then – I'm going to Jess's and I'll see you later," I said pointing at Charlie. "But you better hope your sorry ass you are not here when I get back," I added glaring at Jake. They both stared after me, either knowing they were better off keeping their mouths shut or they were at a loss for words.

"Oh and another thing," I added smugly. "Since you seem fine with Jake having feelings for me, then I guess you are still ok with the fact that he stayed the other night…in my bed….while he had these feelings?" I smiled as I watched Charlie's face turn a shade of purple as my words sunk in and Jake looked even more uncomfortable – if that were even possible.

Chuckling at the payback I just bestowed on Jake, I made my way out the door and to my truck; there was no way I would want to be in there with Charlie right now if I were him.

....

Before you tell me you hate me let me tell you this is definitely an ExB story, and they do get together and kiss and he does find out about James in the next couple of chaps, so review review and we can get there sooner. =)

If you are looking for some stories here are some suggestions - they are all awesome and you can find them under my Fav's.

Stand Still - Angelnlove52

When Yesterday Hurts - Angelnlove52

Penthouse in Paradise - TwilightCullenLvr9

The Cullens are at it Again - VampPixyJAK

Subjective Changes - The Daylighter

....

Don't forget to review =)