CHAPTER FOUR: Confused Feelings

A/N: I don't own any rights to Harry Potter. Little magic is used and homosexuality, violence, rape and language are used. Don't like it? Don't read it. You've been warned.

He ran after Draco hoping to find him and when he wasn't in the Great Hall, Harry had a feeling he'd be up on the roof. He ran all the way around to the other building and up the staircase up to the tallest tower. (Wow, it was already starting to sound like a fairytale…) He opens the door and Harry wasn't surprised. There is Draco, smoking a cigarette and it looked as if he'd been crying but why?

"Draco," Harry said. He sighs irritably.

"What do you want Potter?"

"Gone back to calling me by my last name again?"

"Why wouldn't I? We are rivals. Foes. Enemies. Whatever you want to call it, that's what we are. Nothing more."

"Do you still like me, Draco?"

"What?" he asks while putting out his cigarette and lighting up another one.

"Do you still have feelings for me?" He didn't answer for a bit. In fact, it was almost as if Draco was hadn't heard him altogether, almost like he was ignoring the question. He turned around and acted as if Harry was just a mere ghost in his path.

"Draco!"

"What?!"

"Do you still have feelings for me?"

"I can't do this with you. What was I thinking? My father told me to stay away from you and I let things get out of hand. Yes, I still have feelings for you, a lot of feelings but I can't let that go anywhere. I can't. My father would kill me."

"No, your father would kill me just to hurt you even more. Draco…he won't find out. Nobody will find out, I promise you that. I'm a Gryffindor, remember?" He looked at Harry as if he was actually considering it but then after a second or two of thought, he finally shrugged hopelessly and says, "It'll never work."

"Why not?"

"Because we have to hate each other which we wont be able to do in front of people. Besides…you only had one experience. Do you know if you are gay or not?"

"I would like to think about it if we weren't fighting the entire time I was supposed to be thinking…"

"What are you thinking now?" he asks. Harry fell silent for a moment. He sat down and asked, "Can I have a smoke please?" Harry knew he had quit last year but at this point, he didn't care anymore. After being a year clean of cigarettes, he needed something to keep his mind and his hands busy with until he could clear his head. "Thanks."

Now it was Draco's turn to deal with the silence and have to wait for Harry's response. Harry wasn't making him wait to be mean, he was only making him wait so long because he had to gather his thoughts and contemplate the idea of what it had been like to kiss him. He smelled good, that, Harry knew. He has beautiful eyes and he hasn't felt a kiss like this with a girl before. He had actually enjoyed this kiss. He felt as if he wanted another one and another one and another one. Never-ending kisses are what Harry wanted from Draco the most and yet he was worried about his father. He understood Draco's position. 'I'd be scared too if I was he but it's not like anyone would find out. I certainly wouldn't tell my friends about it either.' Harry thought to himself.

"Well?" he asks impatiently. Harry stands up to look Draco square in the face. "What are you thinking?" he asks again. Harry gently grabs his face and kisses him again and this time, Draco didn't try to pull away from him.

'I want to be in this moment with him. I care about him. I feel like I can fully breathe again unlike I used to when I was dating Cho. I just…I feel so alive right now. I'm not sure if I just like him or if I'm falling for him way too fast,' He thought. Harry wrapped his arms around the other boy's neck and Draco wraps his arms around his lover's waist. Both guys didn't want this to end, however, they knew it couldn't last forever but it doesn't mean that they couldn't secretly hope for it to last that long. Draco leaned his back up against the wall behind him and Harry pushed his body closer until their bodies were fully touching. Draco's cologne smelled of apple and cinnamon with a hint of vanilla and his tongue tasted of sweet candy that Harry couldn't get enough of.

"I have to go. I don't want anyone thinking that with the two of us missing that there is something going on." Draco says but before he moved, Harry decided to tease him a bit and give him something to think about by nibbling on his ear and heard him gasp.

"D-Don't…that's my weak spot, please don't do that." He laughed slightly.

"Still want to go?" Harry asked him.

"Do I want to go? No. Should I go? Yes."

"Will you go?" he asked him, still nibbling on his ear and slowly making his way toward his neck and listening to him breathe heavily on his shoulder. Harry felt his own pants tighten and wasn't thinking when he grabbed Draco's hips to push himself onto him more and he began to moan. There were swells of electricity flooding through their groins and up their backs to their heads where emotions were high. Harry began to grind into him fully clothed yet still pleasurable. The rub of the clothes only made them want each other more.

"Oh god…I really should…be…" he says as Harry grinds harder into him just to convince him to stay and just as Harry grinds harder, Draco let's out a louder groan. He began to scrape Harry's back with his fingernails while Harry pushed his rough hands through Draco's hair. They were both rock hard and they were both yearning for more of it.

"Dra-Draco…" Harry whimpered in his ear quietly.

"Don't…s-stop…don't stop…oh god…" Draco says after wrapping his legs around Harry while gasping for air.

"F-fuck…" Harry moaned into his ear. He couldn't take it anymore and started to feel himself nearly orgasm. He could feel Draco tense up to his climax as well and as difficult as it was to do this to him, Harry wanted to leave him something to remember him by and he stopped right before either of them had gotten off.

"No!" Draco exclaimed, struggling to find his breath, "Don't…please…Why'd you do that?" he asked, biting his lower lip.

"You….you said…you said you…that you should go."

"I don't want to and I can tell that you don't want me to but I have to…" he says, trying to regain his strength as if he couldn't remember why he had to leave and that he just had to leave. He asks, "Can we continue this another time? That is…if you still want to continue this, we can…" Harry leaned his forehead against Draco's and closed his eyes, feeling like he never wants to leave him ever. All these years had gone by and this is what Harry has missed.

"Set a time and day and I'll be there," Harry said.

"Well my father is coming to visit me tonight. He says he has important news to give me. What about tomorrow night at midnight?"

"It's a date. We are meeting here, right?"

"Yes. I have a surprise for you but you can't see it until tomorrow night." They turn to give each other a quick kiss and walk down the staircase holding hands. Neither of them has ever felt happier and Harry didn't want it to end. When they got halfway down the staircase, they let go and Harry let Draco walk down fully first so nobody would suspect anything. He heard Crabbe ask him, "What were you doing up on the roof?"

"I was just doing some homework. I can never get it done in the common room with all the noise."

Harry heard their footsteps disappear and headed toward the bottom of the staircase to find that nobody was around anymore. He went into the bathroom hoping nobody was there and finished the job himself while thinking about Draco the entire time. 'This is going to be a great year,' he thought, 'I finally found someone that I feel special with…I've never felt this before.'