AN: Big thanks to Tiff and D for fixing up this chapter. And for everyone who review! Hope you got your previews. Those who leave anonymous reviews I'm sorry I can't send them to you, but you could PM me and I could email them to you. :)

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28. The Blame Game

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EPOV.

…

"Carlisle!"

"Bella, you need to calm down, you have to slow your breathing," I pleaded. Bella was having a full blown panic attack and I couldn't get her to relax. Her body was shaking and her eyes were closed, but she was clawing at her chest as it moved in and out rapidly.

"CARLISLE!" I called out again, louder.

Fuck, where the hell is he?

When she collapsed I managed to get her to the couch, but now I was sitting nervously and useless beside her as she fought to control her breathing. I was hopeless and scared. I needed my father.

"Bella, I need to go get Carlisle." But as I tried to get up from my position, she grabbed onto my arm and shook her head, her chest still heaving up and down.

"D-don't," she uttered through her quick short breaths.

"Bella, please, you need help." Again she shook her head.

"I'm g-going to be sick," she mumbled between breaths. She bent over slowly and tried to stand, but fell backwards. Reacting quickly, I wrapped my arms around her waist and lifted her to her feet, half carrying her, half dragging her toward my bathroom.

We made it just in time as she fell toward the toilet. I pulled back her hair and rubbed her back as her breathing slowed in time for her to spill her contents. After she had finished and her breathing had returned to normal, she rested her head on the side of the toilet and closed her eyes.

"How are you feeling?" I asked quietly. She groaned and turned to face me, a wry smile on her lips.

"Embarrassed and disgusting," she said softly, still not opening her eyes.

"Here, let me help you." I bent down and picked her up in my arms, carried her over to the couch and placed her on the bedding I had slept on. "I'll be right back."

"Don't go," she almost shouted in panic, sitting up quickly to grab my arm.

"I'm just going to get you something to rinse your mouth," I added with a slight smile. Reluctantly, she let go of my arm and I hurried to the bathroom to get her some mouth wash and a face cloth. When I returned, allowing her to rinse and wipe her face, I asked how she was feeling again.

"It feels like a hedgehog and porcupine are doing battle in front of a strobe light behind my eyes," she moaned. I chuckled at the thought and sat down beside her, putting the cup of mouthwash on the floor.

"A porcupine and a hedgehog?" I asked .

"Mhmmm." She nodded slowly and opened her eyes to squint at me.

"That's some hangover," I commented, brushing the wet cloth across her face.

"The best," she mumbled sarcastically, closing her eyes again at my touch.

We sat in silence for a while, her breathing normally, lying on the couch with her eyes closed; while I watched her like a love sick fool. Even after being sick, she still looked beautiful, regardless of her hair being in dire need of a brush and her makeup running from her tears. I smiled as her lips parted with each breath she took. She looked so vulnerable.

In the silence, my mind started wandering back to the moments before he said panic attack and what had been revealed. My muscles began to tighten at the thought and the tension became too much and I had to talk to her, I had to ask her.

"How many?"

"How many what?" she mumbled tiredly.

"Times did he touch you?"

She sighed heavily before replying.

"A few."

"How many is a few?" I asked, anger entering my tone as it got the better of me.

"Three," she said very quietly.

I could feel the anger building; my body began to shake as I clenched the facecloth tightly in my hand. Excess water trickled down my hand and dropped onto her face and she opened her eyes to look at me, her expression becoming alarmed as she looked at me.

"Edward?" she spoke softly, her hand now resting on mine. "Let's not -"

"What did he do to you?"

"No." She shook her head. "I'm not…I don't want to…"

"Did he leave those marks on your neck?" I spoke evenly, but I was shaking. I was afraid of her answer, even though I already knew. I knew she had been lying in Biology, I had seen it in her eyes.

She lay there in silence, closing her eyes again. At first, when I spoke her breathing hitched, but it had returned to normal when she decided to answer me. Her voice was mechanical and detached, her expression black when she opened her eyes.

"The first time," she started, swallowing loudly, and looking over my shoulder as she spoke. "The first time, we were in his car and we were arguing about something." Her eyes flickered to me and then went back to looking over my shoulder. "I said something I shouldn't have and he slapped me."

When she spoke, I felt every part of body telling me to smash something. The anger had my muscles wound so tight I thought I was going to scream. He actually had her believing it was her fault, that something like that was ever forgivable. But I couldn't risk Bella having another panic attack, so I closed my eyes tightly to work on my breathing.

"Bella," I began, once I felt controlled enough to speak. "There's nothing you could have said to-"

"I was shocked, but I forgave him," she continued, interrupting me. "I kept telling myself it was a heat of the moment thing, that he didn't mean it and then he begged me to forgive him and I did. The next time…he left those marks on my neck. We had been arguing about Laurent and he just lost control. I didn't even know who he was, I didn't recognize him," she gave me a grave look. "I'm sorry, Edward, you were right, I lied to you, I lied to everyone –"

I shook my head and shushed her, taking her hands in mine. "It's okay," I mumbled quietly. I was too afraid to say anymore, afraid the anger and pain I was feeling would betray me and ultimately I would upset her more.

Your first priority is her, I told myself. Make her feel safe, you can deal with him later.

Tears were silently making their way down her cheeks and she pulled her hand from mine to wipe them away. "Jess is gone," she muttered. "Laurent made her leave, and I was so mad that I went after him. I didn't even think."

Her words were making things worse; it shocked me to know she actually went after Laurent, someone who had raped her friend. I was almost going to give her a tongue lashing for being so careless, when she spoke again.

"These bruises," she said softly lifting up her top to show me, instantly I felt my stomach churn and I had to turn away from her as I felt my face redden and contort with anger and disgust. "They're not all his doing." I turned back to face her confused; did someone else hurt her too?

"I did fall," she explained. "That's what some of these are."

"And the others?" I asked, my voice barely breaking a whisper. She closed her eyes and immediately I was afraid of the answer, I knew I didn't want to hear.

"He kicked me."

My reaction to her words was instant and regrettable. I didn't have a chance to think or control myself. I jumped back from my seat next to her on the couch and slammed my fist into the wall –repeatedly, leaving a nice hole when I was done. Once my hand was too sore to keep hitting the wall, I slammed my forehead into it, squeezing my eyes shut before I turned around to face Bella, who had been quiet throughout my flip out.

I opened my eyes slowly to see she was sitting upright on the couch and she was trembling, her hands fisted in the blankets. Her eyes were wide and wet. She opened her mouth to speak, but a strangled cry escaped her lips.

Fuck.

"Jesus, Bella," I apologized, rushing to her side. "Jesus, I'm so sorry."

"It's okay," she mumbled, wiping her face on the back of her hand; she was holding her breath, trying not to cry.

"No, it's not. I shouldn't have reacted that way. I'm sorry." I tried to lean in, to wrap my arms around her, but she turned away, leaning out of my grasp.

"Um, I should probably get going," she muttered, not looking at me.

"Bella, please," I begged.

Don't go.

"Stay," I mumbled as she got up off the couch to collect her things. She shook her head slowly.

"I can't."

"I'm sorry I reacted that way, I just–" I began, but she interrupted me.

"It's okay. You're forgiven, Edward. I have to go."

"But we should really let Carlisle have a look at those bruises; you could have a fractured rib or something," I pleaded. Those bruises were nasty.

"He already has."

What?!


She sighed heavily at my confused expression. "Charlie took me to the hospital the night it happened. It's only bruising."

"Oh." Was all I could manage to get out. My father had seen those bruises? Any person with half a brain would know they weren't all caused by a fall. He had to know. My anger was returning at the thought, but I had to remain calm in front of Bella. I couldn't afford to upset her again, or scare her for that matter.

"So my father knows?" I asked quietly. She nodded solemnly.

"Besides you, he's the only one."

"Oh."

I could kill him.

….

BPOV

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"I have to go, Charlie will be wondering where I am." I turned to leave again.

"Bella," he called. He held out his hand, pleading with me to stay. I just continued to look at him.

"I can't, Edward." He sighed heavily and gave me a tortured expression.

"Promise me I'll see you again," he begged.

"Edward, I just broke up with James, it wouldn't –"

"He hit you!" The words slashed at my insides. It was true, but James had loved me. Well that is what I used to believe. Now, I was so unsure of myself and what was happening. My world felt like it was slipping into darkness. But I couldn't act like he had never meant anything to me; I wasn't like that.

"He didn't use to...." I tried to find excuses, but Edward wasn't buying it.

"I'm sorry, but he doesn't deserve you. You deserve happiness, not some lowlife who doesn't realize what he has. You deserve better!" He looked at me, his eyes dark. I couldn't explain it, but he had some kind of hold on me, I felt a pull towards him. I shook my head, but not as a response to what he just said only to try and clear it. I was losing my grip on the situation and I was so precariously close to breaking down again. I was exhausted and I needed to get out of there. But I need to make sure Edward wouldn't do anything to put himself in danger.

"Edward, please promise me you won't go after him," I begged. My expression was serious, but I was nervous and scared as well. I couldn't have him doing something stupid, I couldn't have him hurt.

He shook his head. "I can't promise that, Bella."

"You have to, Edward. Please for me. Please promise me you won't do anything stupid. For me."

He sighed. "Why?"

"Because he's not worth it and I'd never be able to forgive myself if something happened to you. Please, just promise me you won't." I took a step toward him and cupped his face with my hand, turning it until his eyes met mine. "Please."

He sighed, his shoulders slumping forward. "I promise," he whispered.

I smiled at him weakly. "Thank you."

He gave me a hurt look, but nodded. "I'd do anything for you, Bella," he sighed. I felt my heart pull unexpectedly in my chest and I felt my face warm.

"Thank you," I said again giving him a small but genuine smile.

"Can I give you a ride home?" he asked quietly.

I shook my head. "It's not far, I need the fresh air," I said picking up the rest of my things.

"I insist," he argued.

"I don't think that's wise. I don't want Charlie thinking I spent the night with you."

He nodded, but didn't say anything, his shoulders slumping forward in defeat.

"I'll see you tomorrow in Biology....I promise." I added the last bit after he looked at me with a look that suggested he didn't quite believe that I would be at school tomorrow. I left before he could say anything else. Once outside his room, I headed for the bathroom and quickly changed, not bothering to take off his boxers and then I slipped out the front door before anyone noticed me.

Once I made it home, I bumped into Charlie, who apologized for the night before. I told him I had stayed at Rose's and he seemed to buy it. I climbed the stairs to my room, quietly closing the door behind me. I dropped my bag and then leaned against the wall, smacking my head into it.

I was so overwhelmed with what had just happened with Edward, I started to hyperventilate, almost bringing on another panic attack.

Why had I let him get so much from me?

I sunk against the wall and slid down it. It was a while before I realized I was crying, I wrapped my arms around my legs and rocked back and forth.

I was stupid for telling him, for involving him in my mess. It was stupid. I was a mess; I had a friend who self mutilated, an abusive ex and a best friend who didn't know boundaries. I wasn't good enough for Edward and now I was risking him getting hurt, just because I felt attracted to him.

No it was more than that, more than mere attraction-he was a drug and I was addicted.

But regardless, I couldn't let him get close to me. I had created a bigger mess just by giving into my urges last night. For his own good, I had to push Edward Cullen away, even if I or it tore out my heart in the process. I wouldn't let him get hurt because of me.

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EPOV

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When she left, I picked the plates and everything up off the bedside table and threw it against the wall opposite me, watching as the broken and shattered pieces fell to the floor. I felt like screaming, like smashing everything I could lay my hands on, but none of it would be the same as closing my hands around his throat, watching him suffer just as he had made her. But I couldn't, she wouldn't let me, and a small part of me hated her for that.

No, I could never hate her.

I put my head in my hands and tugged hard at my hair, willing the images of Bella's broken body to leave my mind.

And then I did the only thing I could do, once she left me reeling in the knowledge that someone had intentionally hurt her. I took it out on someone else.

Carlisle was in his study when I found him, writing on his paper, some medical thing, his eyes darted to meet mine quickly, before going back to the paper, as I entered the room.

"Edward," he said quietly, absorbed in his work. "What can I do for -"

"You did nothing, you knew and you did nothing!" I accused, interrupting as I stormed towards him, my body was shaking in pure rage, rage towards my father, and the rage I felt toward that asshole who had done the harm.

Carlisle lifted his head to meet my gaze calmly. "Edward, I'm not exactly sure I know what you're talking about."

"She's just a girl, and she was hurt. He hurt her and you did nothing," I growled. My chest was heaving and I couldn't think straight enough to give him a proper explanation.

"Edward…" Carlisle started, suddenly sensing the extreme anger rolling off me in waves. "I'm not sure I understand…"

"She stayed here last night…with me….and I saw…." I closed my eyes tightly, as the images of her soft skin covered with large grotesque black-blue and yellowing bruises entered my mind. And I blanched, some of my rage dissipating as it turned into horror and disgust. I could feel my throat begin to ache and my eyes were burning with the expectation of tears. I shook my head, trying to hold it together, to remember why I was here.

"Who is she?" my father asked, taking a step around his desk, as he tried to put a calming arm around me. But the images of Bella's hurt were too fresh in my mind, the sorrow quickly turning to anger again and I lashed out, grabbing him by the collar, my face an inch from his.

"Bella," I spat, my face contorted with anger. Instantly, Carlisle's face lit with recognition and then quickly turned to one of sorrow and understanding. I let him go, but not before shoving him backward in disgust. He stumbled a small bit, but then stood, staring at me calmly. Bella had said she had seen him, but I didn't want to believe it; his expression however, told me everything, I couldn't fight the rage beginning to overtake me.

"Edward, you need to calm-" he began, but I cut him off by holding up my hand, as I shook my head in anger.

"Don't you dare tell me to calm the fuck down, Dad!"

"Edward, I'll ignore that because you're upset but-" I stared at him with my mouth open, he had to be kidding. If he hadn't have been my father, I may have hit him for being so stupid.

"Are you fucking serious?" I asked incredulously.

"We need to talk about this," he continued.

"Talk?!" I screamed, outraged, throwing my arms up in the air. "Talk about what? How you're a coward? How you saw a girl, beaten at the hands of her pathetic boyfriend and you did nothing….is that what you want to talk about?"

"Edward, that's not fair-"

"No, I'll tell you what's not fair! Loving a girl that is with someone else, someone who doesn't treat her the way she deserves. Someone who hurts her makes her feel insignificant when really she's the reason for breathing. And it's not fucking fair that when she finally left him-finally found the courage; she still won't let me in. She won't let me do anything to help her, to protect her, or take care of her; how she should be taken care of. She begged me not to hurt him, him of all people. The fucker who did all that too her, she wants to protect him. That's not fair!"

"Edward, please," Carlisle begged. "I know what you're going through, I understand the pain you must feel but—"

"How can you possibly understand?" I asked looking up at him in bewilderment. "How can you know what this feels like? Seeing the one you love hurt, knowing you're meant to protect her…but you can't, because she begged you not to, and you'd do anything for her…anything she asks…." I had my head in my hands now, and I was fighting back the tears stinging my eyes.

Just last night it had been perfect, we had laughed, had fun, and kissed, it had been the best night of my life, then this morning everything came crumbling down. She's always trying to protect others, always trying to put them before herself. She even tried to protect me, by pretending it was nothing when I had tickled her last night. I must have hurt her terribly and at that thought, a small groan escaped my lips. I had hurt her too, I was just like him. It didn't matter if it was unintentional, I didn't want anyone to ever hurt Bella, but I was one of those people who had.

"Son, I know it's hard to understand, but I do know what you're going through and the best thing to do in this situation is to honor her wishes, be there for her, and protect her. But you can't protect her by going after the boy after she asked you not to, it will do more harm than good, Edward," Carlisle spoke quietly.

"But I can't keep that promise. I can't let him continue to breathe the same air as her…I can't let him get away with hurting her…." I was mumbling to myself, not really even taking notice of Carlisle who had come to sit next to me.

"I know it's hard, but you will learn to handle it. She needs someone to trust, Edward, someone who will make her feel safe. She doesn't need another man with fists, showing her how to deal with things," he explained.

"How do you know?" I seethed. Drying my eyes quickly, as I lifted my head to look at him. I saw pity in his eyes and sorrow, deep sorrow, it twisted my insides. "You keep saying you know what this is like, how do you know?"

Carlisle swallowed loudly. "I've been through what you've been through, Son. I know the pain and I promise you it will get better. You will learn how to protect her in a different way, you just can't protect her from something that's already happened; you can only help her heal."

"Who?" I asked in shock. He had never once talked about something like this.

"That's not something I'm willing to share just yet," he spoke quietly. I nodded understandably, not really listening; I had other things on my mind.

"Why didn't you do anything though…when Bella came to you?" I mumbled.

"I couldn't, Edward, I took an oath…."

"To protect," I interrupted. "She needed help…she needed someone to…"

"-to listen, Edward," my father finished the sentence for me. "Someone to talk to. Someone who won't judge her, someone to sit and cry with her, share her pain. She didn't want to turn him in because she doesn't want to keep living through it. She begged me not to say anything…and I couldn't, because she is my patient," he shook his head slowly. "I shouldn't be talking to you now."

"Her father needs to know. He's the Chief," I tried to reason.

"It was her decision, Edward. We have to respect that."

"That's bullshit, Dad, what if he hurts her again? And we did nothing? What if he hurts someone else…what if it was Alice, what if it was her covered in bruises?" My stomach turned at the thought. I wouldn't let him ever hurt my sister, I would kill him and he would never touch Bella again, not if I had anything to do with it.

Suddenly my blood froze and I felt the hairs on the back of my neck stand, instantly I felt a shiver go up my spine.

"Where's Alice?" I demanded.

"Uh, I think she's still asleep…why, Edward? Is something wrong?" Carlisle was worried now; the look on my face was obviously not a comforting one.

No, I thought silently to myself, too afraid to speak out loud. To the best of my knowledge Alice had spent the night with Jasper and right now that didn't sit well with me, for numerous reasons. I hardly knew him; he was friends with James, always defending James to me, telling me I couldn't have Bella, because the bastard who hit her still had some sort of right to her. All I knew was James's other friend, being Laurent was an alleged rapist and right now anybody even remotely associated with James was to be considered dangerous. I wasn't about to sit by and let my sister get hurt.

I stormed out of my father's office and down the hall, barging quickly into Alice's room, not bothering to knock.

"Edward!" Alice shrieked her face turning red as she clutched her covers to her chest, I could tell she was only wearing a bra and underwear, immediately I adverted my gaze.

Jasper was lying on the floor with a pillow under his head and a blanket strewn across his half naked body, I was surprised to see him there instead of in her bed, but the slight confusion didn't hinder my anger.

"Get the fuck up, Hale, and get your ass out of my sister's room!" I growled, ripping the blanket from his body. He sat bolt upright and rubbed his eyes, shock and confusion evident in his expression.

"What the fuck man?" he asked, standing up slowly with his jeans in hand. I was in such a bad mood I was seeing red and I couldn't think straight. I threw my body into him and pressed him against the wall, Alice gasped and out the corner of my eye I could see she was trying quickly to dress herself.

"You will keep the fuck away from Alice, you won't even look at her and if you do, I will have your ass on a platter." I kept my voice low, but there was an edge to it that meant business.

"Get off him Edward," Alice cried. She was behind me now, clawing at my waist in an effort to pull me from Jasper whose face was turning red. "Stop!" she screamed. "You're hurting him!"

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AN:

My beta wrote on a chap of her story lately that 'Reviews are the only way I can tell that I am doing my job properly. I put everything I have into my stories, most of the time laughing or crying at the same parts you all do, and it truly means a lot to hear what you all have to say. Ya'll are awesome, and I hearts yas to pieces!'

And I totally have to agree! So please review – even if it's one word or something random, your fav bit, or something you didn't like. What you want to happen and what you don't. let me know ;)

Next update not until Tuesday probably, I have a lot on at the moment but if I can get it to you earlier I will. ;)

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